I heard from Denver guy

[Ariadne]

How many marriages? Were your relationship good ones? Stable? Reciprocated?

I understand that you stand firm on non being like DG , but were your relationships sable before hand . Had you been alone for a long time?

 

Two marriages. All long term relationships. Never true love.

 

They were good relationships, and I'm still friends with some of them.

[tinktronik]

Two marriages. All long term relationships. Never true love.

 

They were good relationships, and I'm still friends with some of them.

 

At the time did you feel like it was true love?

[Ariadne]

At the time did you feel like it was true love?

 

I did when I saw him. When I touched him and looked in his eyes.

 

But we knew a lot about each other then from the writing.

 

With the others, no, I never thought it was true love.

 

I just knew it was a mistake and that it wasn't going to last.

[Nevermind]

When I proposed to ex., I told her I could be patient. She asked me to define "patience." Patience is having an ex-shaped place in my life and my heart where no one else can fit. Patience is knowing she's irreplaceable.

 

That is saying he loves her.

 

Yes, he did say pretty things to you too, but he did start with a declaration of love for his then-ex.

 

She was irreplaceable. He would wait for her. Etc.

 

Pretty words he actually put into action.

 

The pretty words he had for you, he did not follow with actions.

--------------

 

True love will find each other? Cannot be kept away from each other?

 

Let's see: he was with the ex, on and off. He proposed it didn't work out. He tried to move on, but never really could (and told you so). They met again, they fell again. They wanted to marry.

 

Maybe in a year they'll meet again and so on.

 

There is much more evidence for them being soulmates than for you and Denver Guy.

-------------

 

I don't like Denver Guy, he used you, strung you along, used you again for an ego-fix and gave intimate pictures of you to his girlfriend. He has done wrong on many levels. He isn't perfect. It's just your projection of what a man should be. An escape from your own life.

 

But this is the last post from me, here.

 

I hope you'll find your peace someday.

[whichwayisup]

That's true.

 

Now that I heard from him I got all excited.

 

But I'm sort of excited also that this is close to the end of Denver guy. Because now if he is "not" with her and still couldn't give a sht about me, then I'd move on.

 

Build upon this and try to stay on straight and narrow here...What you just said is probably the most realistic thing you've written in this whole thread. Which makes me think deep down inside, you KNOW that he isn't feeling what you're feeling..

[Ariadne]

Build upon this and try to stay on straight and narrow here...What you just said is probably the most realistic thing you've written in this whole thread. Which makes me think deep down inside, you KNOW that he isn't feeling what you're feeling..

 

Hmm.. no.

 

My fantasy is so big that it includes everything. That is the problem with my fantasies, everything fits perfect in them.

 

So now the story is that he was writing to me and she found out and got mad (after all they are still living together). And you know how much she doesn't want us to write that she went to the extreme of doing those things to me.

 

So yeah, fantasy is on.

 

Oh, and the fact that he wrote some, to me means that "we are going to start writing" like.. before. Is a sign.

 

The only hope would be if he wrote and I'd get bored and "not feel it" anymore, like it died. But so far, his last emails were pretty good.

 

Thanks for your input wwiu, and thanks to all that responded in this thread.

[Walking away]

And how long has it been since you sent your last email? Has he responded to it yet?

 

If not, he's just not that into you. Soulmates cannot be apart. It is an impossibility. They must be together. They feel incomplete without each other.

 

I am with my absolute soulmate and there is no way I could go a day without talking to him. Absolutely no way. And he would absolutely agree with what I am saying.... It is a MUTUAL feeling. And it's that simple.

 

If he can go days without contacting you, you aren't on his mind.

 

Sorry.

[Ariadne]

And how long has it been since you sent your last email? Has he responded to it yet?..If he can go days without contacting you, you aren't on his mind.

 

I wrote to him yesterday before I left work and he didn't respond.

 

But then, in my fantasy, I imagine that he comes to read LS to find out about me since we can't talk.

[marlena]

But then, in my fantasy, I imagine that he comes to read LS to find out about me since we can't talk.

 

Sweetie, if he wanted to he could not only talk to you but also be with you. It is that simple.

 

Personally, I think you deserve way better than a man like this who allows his girlfriend to do what she has done to you...no, actually what they have done together to you.

 

My dear girl, you are so insightful when giving advice to others. I have always admired how you seem to go straight for the jugular in just a few words. This proves you have a heightened sense of reality and a mind that can probe straight to the crux of an issue. You don't gift-wrap situations. You look at them straight on. Like another poster said, use that lazer-like vision on your own situation and on DG and see him in his true colours. The picture is not very nice Ariadne. Not at all .

[Walking away]

Why, in your mind, can't you talk?

 

Is there any rational reason why he can't talk to you?

 

Snap out of it. He is merely a man who is not interested. You are in the throes of obsession and it is not healthy. And I know you know this.

 

You need to get this man out of your system.

 

I would guess that you are creeping him out. I have to admit, if I didn't know that you were a real life, living, breathing human being, I would think this is all a joke: that you were a troll. But sadly, this is really happening.

 

MEN LIKE TO CHASE. If he isn't chasing, he isn't interested.

 

And think about this: do you want him to view you as a stalker, a whack job? Step back and walk away for good. Preserve your dignity and your self respect.

 

I have no malice when I say this, but this is alarming. You need to go talk to someone. It isn't right what you are doing and feeling.

 

I'm so sorry.

 

WA

[Ariadne]

Like another poster said, use that lazer-like vision on your own situation and on DG and see him in his true colours. The picture is not very nice Ariadne. Not at all .

 

Thanks Marlena.

 

Well, spiritually, I consider him my guru.

 

He is a perfect human being spiritually as well.

 

His true colors have always being perfect as can be.

[Walking away]

Thanks Marlena.

 

Well, spiritually, I consider him my guru.

 

He is a perfect human being spiritually as well.

 

His true colors have always being perfect as can be.

 

I rest my case.

 

You need help.

 

Best wishes.

 

This is too sad for me to read about.

 

[Ariadne]

Why, in your mind, can't you talk?

 

Is there any rational reason why he can't talk to you?

 

Well, he "is" still engaged and living with her. He has a compromise.

 

After all he also waited for her for 15 years while she got married to other guys and he waited.

 

Finally after all that time they got together, he is not going to be crazy.

 

Plus, I'm pretty sure she found out and told him not to write. If she did he is not going to write. I was surprised he did.

[Walking away]

Well, he "is" still engaged and living with her. He has a compromise.

 

After all he also waited for her for 15 years while she got married to other guys and he waited.

 

Finally after all that time they got together, he is not going to be crazy.

 

Plus, I'm pretty sure she found out and told him not to write. If she did he is not going to write. I was surprised he did.

 

It just keeps getting more bizarre.

 

Geez....

 

This is like watching a train getting ready to hit a brick wall.

 

Someone tell me this is a joke. This cannot be real....

 

 

[Ariadne]

Here is a post from Denver guy in a forum so you get the way he thinks:

 

----------------------

 

Nov 10, 93:

 

Some guy:

 

I went through a tough decision and would like to see if you think I

did the right thing.

 

I am in college (the oldest sophomore in the history of education at 42!)

and because I write so poorly I take my notes on a laptop. So far, so good--I think that taking notes on a laptop can be counted as doing the right thing.

 

A young lady in my class (a gorgeous one at that) who normally cuts about half the class sessions, asked me for a copy of my notes to cram for the midterm we took today. She asked me last week and I thought hard about it over one night. I decided NOT to give them to her. My logic was that if she won't attend class that it is her problem if she fails. I told her that with the words "I will help you out if you have questions but this would be taking the course for you, and I won't do that." She walked away muttering ords like "rotten son of a bitch", "selfish prick", etc....... I get the feeling that this may have been the first time that her beauty didn't get her what she wanted and she was insulted by hearing the word no. Did I do the right thing?

 

Denver guy:

 

Well, first of all, you were entirely within your rights not to give her

a copy of your notes; they're your notes and it's entirely up to your

discretion to decide whether to share them or not with anyone.

 

As to whether not sharing them was the "right thing," I don't think that

social situations are very often so simple that there is any one "right

thing"--and I don't think this one is. I can tell you, however, that it's

not what I would have done, given the circumstances--myself, I tend to

judge my potential actions in a given situation with respect to the

utterly pragmatic metric of whether the world will be a better place for

my doing X versus Y, with particular emphasis on whether the world will

be a better place for me. In this case, with essentially no cost on my

part, I could have helped someone else and, to me, that would outweigh

abstract matters of principle and what judgments I might want to impose

on the world of what people do and don't deserve.

 

These sorts of philosophical conflicts come up all the time--if someone

ahead of you is signalling to change lanes on the highway, do you back

off a bit to give them room, or do you speed up because you were there

first and they deserve to be behind you?

 

Now, you might argue that by not giving her the notes, you're teaching

her a lesson in how to go about learning that will benefit her later in

life; I'm not willing to arrogate that sort of judgment to myself, though,

since who am I to say that getting copies of the notes from another

student isn't a more efficient way for her to learn than attending class?

(Indeed, there were classes that I took in college that I determined were

sufficiently useless to attend that, after the first two periods, I

attended only for the midterms and finals; there were others that I never

attended at all, but simply took the advanced course simultaneously and

then took the tests for both of them at the end--and life was much more

pleasant and rewarding because others were willing to let me decide

what learning methods were most effective for me instead of deciding

that I needed to be "taught a lesson.")

 

Also, based on what you've said, I don't think it's reasonable to

conclude that the request she made of you was in some way based on

an arrogant assumption that she could get whatever she wanted based

on her beauty; her reaction to your response may have been a little

out-of-line, but when I was in college I certainly got similar

requests from people, regardless of sex and pulchritude. (Indeed, I

got requests for more than notes often enough--help with certain

concepts and problems, for example--and, again, without respect for

appearance or gender.)

 

Anyway; what to do in this sort of situation is up to you. Your

response was within your rights and I don't think it would have been

unreasonable whether you gave her the notes or not. I would have been

happy to, but then I'm also given to doing things like putting dimes

in parking meters when it looks like they're about to expire and the

car's owner hasn't returned, letting people get in front of me on the

road, and generally, when in doubt, doing whatever is more likely to

make the world a happier place.

[Kasan]

Thanks Marlena.

 

Well, spiritually, I consider him my guru.

 

He is a perfect human being spiritually as well.

 

His true colors have always being perfect as can be.

 

My dear if he is your guru you are in deeper trouble than I thought. Whatever could he teach you that would enhance your growth as a human being? How will he help you on your journey to perfection?

 

Ariadne, he isn't a perfect spirtual human being for he would have never allowed his girlfriend to treat you the way the she did. He would have ended the the relationship in such a way that it was clear to you that it was over.

 

I am so exasperated with you right now, but in the same vein I wish you were here so that I give you a big hug. I worry about you and how fragile you seem to be right now.

 

How can we make you see what we all see?

[Ariadne]

It just keeps getting more bizarre.

 

Geez....This is like watching a train getting ready to hit a brick wall.

 

Someone tell me this is a joke. This cannot be real....

 

No, true fact. He waited for her for 15 years. He was celibate a whole bunch of years because of that, too.

 

I was the first woman he kissed in the last "8 years" that was not her.

[Walking away]

No, true fact. He waited for her for 15 years. He was celibate a whole bunch of years because of that, too.

 

I was the first woman he kissed in the last "8 years" that was not her.

 

 

Sounds like he is just as obsessed with her as you are with him.

 

Unbelievable.

[Ariadne]

Ariadne, he isn't a perfect spirtual human being for he would have never allowed his girlfriend to treat you the way the she did. He would have ended the the relationship in such a way that it was clear to you that it was over.

 

Thanks.

 

Well, I'm sure he was mortified with what the gf did with my pictures and emails. And I'm pretty sure he was the one to get them offline, and it probably cost him a great deal of arguing.

 

I consider that the way she is, and I don't think he has anything to do with that.

 

He is not the one to impose himself to anybody, and he is the kind that lets people do whatever they want to do.

[Ariadne]

Sounds like he is just as obsessed with her as you are with him.

 

Unbelievable.

 

And that's another proof that we are soulmates.

 

We both get like that.

[Walking away]

This is a joke. Really. Tell me you are putting us all on, Ariadne.

 

You can't possibly be for real. No way, no how.

 

This is like Fatal Attraction. In real life.

[underpants]

Sounds like he is just as obsessed with her as you are with him.

 

Unbelievable.

 

And that's another proof that we are soulmates.

 

We both get like that.

 

Ah, No.

 

It is proof that you both fixate on others. Not that you two are meant for each other.

[marlena]

with particular emphasis on whether the world will

be a better place for me. In this case, with essentially no cost on my

part, I could have helped someone else and, to me

 

 

 

Ariadne, these are not the words of a guru. They are the words of an extremely selfish person. He'll do anything as long as it is no skin off his back.

 

You are making excuses for his abominable behaviour. He must have given her access to those pictures.

 

If you want to walk down the road to spiritual enlightenment, this is not the man to guide you. He is anything but that. Don't let his glibness fool you. Nor his charm nor his work, not anything. Look at the facts.

[Trialbyfire]

This isn't high romance Ariadne. This is obsession of the bunny boiling kind. I'm afraid of what you might do, if you don't bring yourself back to reality.

[Ariadne]

Ariadne, these are not the words of a guru. They are the words of an extremely selfish person. He'll do anything as long as it is no skin off his back.

 

You are making excuses for his abominable behaviour. He must have given her access to those pictures.

 

If you want to walk down the road to spiritual enlightenment, this is not the man to guide you. He is anything but that. Don't let his glibness fool you. Nor his charm nor his work, not anything. Look at the facts.

 

Thanks Marlena.

 

But no, I am positive that he is a true guru.

 

I have all my trust in him.