I heard from Denver guy

[Ssheena]

this is better than a soap opera.

[marlena]

Name calling might not be the way to get what you want, just sayin.

 

 

I am not name calling you. If you knew me, you'd know that I never,ever do that. continue to believe that your actions were vicious and heinous. There are legal ways to deal with such problems.

 

 

If you have Araidne's interests at heart as you claim that you do, why keep the pictures up? A bit of an oxymoron, don't you think? You could have posted the stalker expose without the pictures.

 

 

But with friends like you, Marlene, how can she hope but to fail? That's just plain sad.

 

I would like nothing more than to see Ariadne put the both of you out of her life.

[marlena]

And, since he just pulled up he would've had to be typing while driving.

 

 

How convenient!

[DollGirlfriend]

I am not name calling you. If you knew me, you'd know that I never,ever do that. continue to believe that your actions were vicious and heinous. There are legal ways to deal with such problems.

 

You realize heinous is reserved for things like warcrimes, right? Just asking. Maybe too many English classes.

 

If you have Araidne's interests at heart as you claim that you do, why keep the pictures up? A bit of an oxymoron, don't you think? You could have posted the stalker expose without the pictures.

 

As much as I appreciate your attempt at manipulation here, as it stands right now, they're staying because you want me to take them down and I don't like you.

 

Maybe you're right. I think I could use a little more Evil in my life.

 

I would like nothing more than to see Ariadne put the both of you out of her life.

 

Well on this we completely agree. Once I'm out of DG's house, she'll never deal with me again (unless she continues to stalk my blogs, which I can't be responsible for. Though it's unlikely since, once I leave here, it's unlikely that _I_ will ever have anything to do with DG ever again either.) DG, I can't help with. I've been trying to get her to see him for what he is for years, and it's not working.

 

It took me nearly 20 to see him for what he really is. (shrug) I wish her all the luck in the world and that she's a faster learner than I was.

[marlena]

You realize heinous is reserved for things like warcrimes, right?

 

Actually, no, it isn't.

 

As much as I appreciate your attempt at manipulation here, as it stands right now, they're staying because you want me to take them down and I don't like you.

 

 

 

Of course you don't like me. You and I are polar opposites.

[tinktronik]

Actually, no, it isn't.

 

 

 

Of course you don't like me. You and I are polar opposites.

 

Marlena. The g/f of a person who is being stalked by X person has no reason to be nice to X. Why don't you get that?

[marlena]

Marlena. The g/f of a person who is being stalked by X person has no reason to be nice to X. Why don't you get that?

 

I didn't say she had to be nice but what she did was vicious IMO. Her act to me was as twisted as A's. I don't subscribe to these sort of tactics. Any normal person would have taken legal action.

[zicke]

I found the blog---curiosity was killing me! Ariadne--seriously, get help! There is nothing romantic about sending the guy those nude photos! Gross.

 

Also, not seeing much there to stalk, just sayin.

 

Wendy, leave the pictures up. Ariadne asked for this, she made it very easy to find out who she is, who he is, etc...Maybe having all this out there for all to see will knock some sense into her. I feel sorry for her in the sense that she very clearly has issues and probably cannot compute how wrong this all is. It's her sickness, she just will not be able to see it as someone in a more healthy state of mind can. Like trying to convince a narcissist (perhaps your ex) that emailing her back is destructive. Just doesn't get. it.

 

Good Luck!

[tinktronik]

I didn't say she had to be nice but what she did was vicious IMO. Her act to me was as twisted as A's. I don't subscribe to these sort of tactics. Any normal person would have taken legal action.

 

This is anything but a NORMAL situation. Wendy has already explained that she spoke with her local police enforcers and no action could be taken or would be taken seriously.

I'll tell you what, I feel that Wendy did not handle this aggresively enough.

If a woman was standing in my backyard looking through the backdoor after I had been warned by the woman's friends that she was a danger to me , I would have shot her . Period.

No reason at all to attack DG's apparent ex GF . She does not even have to be here to tell it straight to A. I would imagine she has had enough of this from A and DG for years.

I say good riddance.

[marlena]

If a woman was standing in my backyard looking through the backdoor after I had been warned by the woman's friends that she was a danger to me , I would have shot her .

 

No, I am against carrying guns and taking the law into one's own hands. But of course, you are entitled to your opinion and assessment of things.

[zicke]

Marlena, I don't see how self defense is taking the law into your own hands. So, essentially, if someone was coming at you, intending harm, you would do nothing? Because that is what you are stating.

[blind_otter]

I didn't say she had to be nice but what she did was vicious IMO. Her act to me was as twisted as A's. I don't subscribe to these sort of tactics. Any normal person would have taken legal action.

 

No offense, Marlena, but IME all the legal action you can take against stalkers is pretty useless.

 

In my situation, the man obsessed with me went to such lengths that he actually did bodily harm to a friend of mine - tried to strangle him to death with his bare hands.

 

I remember the cop who came to my house after the incident, who told me to get out of my house for a few days until they could aprehend him. He told me point blank that restraining orders are next to worthless, and the only purpose they serve (to him) was to give leads to investigators when the victim of stalking ended up hurt, or dead. He basically told me - the restraining order won't protect you, it will only ensure that this man is properly punished if anything actually DOES happen to you.

[marlena]

As far as I know, she wasn't physically attacked.

 

No, I would not kill someone for stalking me. Nor would I take revenge in any way. What I would do is take immediate legal action.

[zicke]

Marlena? I'm sorry, but are you trying to be obtuse? If someone is attacking you, you will do nothing? That is the question. Not, if someone is stalking you, will you kill them.

[DollGirlfriend]

Any normal person would have taken legal action.

 

What legal action should I have taken, Marlena? Hmmm?

 

I live in Colorado. Upon contacting the police (about the other stalker as well as Ariadne) I was told that my legal options were to have her arrested for tresspassing if she set foot on my property, or to get a restraining order (which will still only get her arrested if she set foot on my property) but that they advised against that (and wisely so. All of the stalker literature seems to indicate that restraining orders just set stalkers off. And seriously, the police DID tell me "nothing says 'I love you' like a restraining order." I highly, HIGHLY recommend the book "I Know You Love Me" for more information. It was recommended to me by the stalking expert at the county sherrif office, and it's a fascinating book and was very helpful.)

 

I told the police, "I have a gun. If she sets foot in my house, I will shoot her" and that's legal in Colorado. It's called the "make my day" law (not kidding). They said to do what I felt I had to. Put a red flag on both the land line and on my cel number and said they would be here in 2 minutes with a call from either line, no matter what.

 

What other legal action do you think I should've taken, Marlena? How do you make someone in a different state stop calling your house every few hours? How do you make them stop emailing you? Stop mailing things to the house? How do you make them STOP, Marlena?

 

Tell me, oh legal maven, and apparent expert of stalker law in Colorado. What legal action should I have taken that I didn't? Hmm?

 

I did what I felt I needed to do. I would do it again. I am not taking it down (and honestly, had no plans to even before you started being such a snot) and I am not apologetic for it. It made her stop for a time, and that is all I wanted. Now it's a place for other people to realize they're not alone and that sometimes by stealing the anonymity of those who like to hide behind screen names, you take their power too.

 

(Tink and Zicke, thanks for the backup. It means a lot.)

[marlena]

No offense taken BO. I know restraining orders are next to useless. Still, I would take legal action. If that didn't work, I don't know what I would do. What I do know is that I would not have done what was done here.

 

Actually, I had a similar problem. I called the police but I didn't press charges as I was hoping that it would not happen again. However, it did happen again. Still I didn't press charges. I never saw the stalker again but I was getting hang-up calls for three years at all times of the night and day. Still, I did nothing as I had no proof.

 

It's a horrible feeling I know. I still watch my back believe it or not.

[Kasan]

I did what I felt I needed to do. I would do it again. I am not taking it down (and honestly, had no plans to even before you started being such a snot) and I am not apologetic for it. It made her stop for a time, and that is all I wanted. Now it's a place for other people to realize they're not alone and that sometimes by stealing the anonymity of those who like to hide behind screen names, you take their power too.

 

You make a compelling case for doing what you did. Hats off to you for your creativity.

 

I guess my thoughts on this are, the stalking took place two years ago and then stopped if I understand you correctly. How long should the photos be left up on the web for all to see given the fact that she isn't a threat in your life now.

 

Should the photos be left up there until you die?

[DollGirlfriend]

You make a compelling case for doing what you did. Hats off to you for your creativity.

 

I guess my thoughts on this are, the stalking took place two years ago and then stopped if I understand you correctly. How long should the photos be left up on the web for all to see given the fact that she isn't a threat in your life now.

 

Should the photos be left up there until you die?

 

I would say that at this point, the site/photos/etc are bigger than just being about Araidne or any of the other stalkers and that single set of incidents in time.

 

I think it should be left up until it no longer serves any purpose, and since I still get emails at least weekly about it from people either being stalked, or who know people being stalked, or from professionals involved with stalkers/the stalked that isn't quite yet.

 

It isn't about Ariadne, or any of the others anymore. It's just a page about stalkers with examples. It is unfortunate that those women chose to be examples, and hopefully they will make different choices in the future.

[Nevermind]

But what legal action? I find your attack on the ex a bit strange. You like Ariadne, and this is fine, but try to be objective:

 

She e-mailed daily, send mail, called daily, stood on the property, made it known to wendy that she would like to see her dead and had fantasies about shooting her. Nothing, no asking to stop, nor no contact made her stop.

 

The only thing that worked were the pictures. It certainly isn't nice. It is cruel and terrible. But it worked.

 

After seeing the list of things on the blog (all but the nude pics - my respect for Ariadne wouldn't let me) I am very appalled by Ariadne's actions.

 

If I were Wendy, those pictures would stay up, for one reason: I woud be afraid that Ariadne gets crazy again, if I take them down. Real crazy, real fast. Telling someone you have fantasies of shooting them - no joke.

 

Again: I find the ideas of the pictures horrible and cruel, but I completely understand why they are up. Ariadne went way, way, way too far.

[whichwayisup]

I woud be afraid that Ariadne gets crazy again

 

If she's so concerned, then she should not have come onto LS and talked to A on this thread.

 

Yes, I understand that she now sees her ex, DG, as a different person, but if W claims that A is capable of 'anything' she's certainly made a mistake by joining LS, even if W feels she was trying to help A.

[Kasan]

It isn't about Ariadne, or any of the others anymore. It's just a page about stalkers with examples. It is unfortunate that those women chose to be examples, and hopefully they will make different choices in the future.

 

But in all respect, it is about Ariadne, as they are her photos.

 

It is unfortunate that these stalkers chose the action they did, but I believe there actions were driven by mental illness and I doubt much will change for them in the future as we have witnessed with Ariadne and her recent postings.

 

You have every right to protect yourself, every right, but I question your right to be able to leave her pictures up on the web until the world ends should you decide.

 

I'm not an attorney, but are you violating any laws?

[tinktronik]

If she's so concerned, then she should not have come onto LS and talked to A on this thread.

 

Yes, I understand that she now sees her ex, DG, as a different person, but if W claims that A is capable of 'anything' she's certainly made a mistake by joining LS, even if W feels she was trying to help A.

 

I don't see what difference her coming here will make . A, has made up her mind not to be stopped or removed from her path , no matter what anyone including DG says. She just believes he must be MADE to say those things.

This had already begun again from the moment Wendy posted on HER blog about the split. It was rolling out that whole time because A never really stopped the stalking, now did she, she just toned it down a bit and waited for now.

[DollGirlfriend]

If I were Wendy, those pictures would stay up, for one reason: I woud be afraid that Ariadne gets crazy again, if I take them down. Real crazy, real fast. Telling someone you have fantasies of shooting them - no joke.

 

Again: I find the ideas of the pictures horrible and cruel, but I completely understand why they are up. Ariadne went way, way, way too far.

 

To be totally honest, at first, that IS why they stayed up. And I told her so. (I also told her that if she came to my house I would shoot her, via her then buddy who wandered into the middle of the whole thing and was the one warning me that she was considering coming back. I told her "As her friend, it is your duty to tell her that if she comes here, comes into my house, and I feel threatened I will shoot her.") I am nothing if not pretty open and upfront. I try really hard to be. (shrug)

 

Anyway, yes, at first that IS why the pictures remained up. After a few months, there were a few tentative emails again, but we were back to how they'd been way before the trip out here. Not threatening enough for me to be willing to put her name back on them.

 

If she's so concerned, then she should not have come onto LS and talked to A on this thread.

 

I am no longer concerned. The "friends" of A's who contacted me during this whole thing previous felt that I was in danger because I was in her way. Coming between her and him and that she was expressing to them that if I was just out of the way, she could have him.

 

I am no longer concerned, because I am no longer in the way. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I never was the reason they can't be together, but that's beside the point. I am not involved with him, not interested in giving him relationship advice, and not in the way. Not concerned. And so I'm here. I wanted to help, and I don't know if I did or not, actually.

 

Yes, I understand that she now sees her ex, DG, as a different person, but if W claims that A is capable of 'anything' she's certainly made a mistake by joining LS, even if W feels she was trying to help A.

 

I never said she was capable of 'anything'. At the time, I was scared to death and I DIDN'T know what she was capable of. You are all looking at this from the perspective of happy forum-friends where she's all gentle and just kind of broken looking, but certainly not harmful. At the time, she looked to me anything BUT harmless.

 

But now, no. I don't think she's going to hurt me or anyone but herself (and then, probably only in an emotional sense by throwing herself at the completely emotionally unavailable, and apparently cruel, DG).

 

Like I said, the page, the pictures, they have all taken on a different meaning. A larger meaning and a greater importance than just "don't make me put your name back on these." And that is why the page remains. If someday it isn't of anymore use to anyone, I'll take it down. I can't say I have any long term plans for it. Though I know it's been used in at least two lectures on stalking. (shrug)

 

I'm not worried she'll get crazy again, because I no longer care. She can call/write/carrier pigeon stuff to DG all day, and it's not my problem anymore. I won't play this game for him again. He LIKES the women in his life fighting to protect/keep/dominate/possess/whatever him. And I am OUT. The other harem members can fight all they want.

 

I have other places to be. But I really do think A is too nice for this, and I can't believe he is doing this to her again. I'm just shocked that he's such a rat. Honestly, shocked.

[tinktronik]

But in all respect, it is about Ariadne, as they are her photos.

 

It is unfortunate that these stalkers chose the action they did, but I believe there actions were driven by mental illness and I doubt much will change for them in the future as we have witnessed with Ariadne and her recent postings.

 

You have every right to protect yourself, every right, but I question your right to be able to leave her pictures up on the web until the world ends should you decide.

 

I'm not an attorney, but are you violating any laws?

 

By law the photo's were not copyrighted, thus when A chose to send them out into the world they became available to all .

[Kasan]

By law the photo's were not copyrighted, thus when A chose to send them out into the world they became available to all .

 

Okay, got it!