Sarah12385 Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 i'm sitting here. in tears. i'm absolutely beside myself...*sigh* here's what happened... this evening i was out with my boyfriend, we've been together just a bit more than a month. anyways, about...eh, not even 2 months beforehand, i was with my ex boyfriend of two *years*. the past 4 months of the realtionship with my ex was just, lifeless. we never went out, etc. so after 4 months of *that* crap, we broke it off. mutual breakup. not messy at all. i was ready to just move on. a month went by, i was single, had a lot of fun w/my friends. now i'm with this new guy, great guy, real fun , nice, sweet, yadda yadda...ANYWAYS, to the point of my story here (sorry the first part was boring) my current bf and i were out getting food for his cat. oh wait, let me remind you all that my ex's name is RONNIE. SO, we're at the pet store getting his cat some food. my bf did something silly and out of NOWHERE, i open my *stupid* mouth and say: "haha jeez you're so weird Ronnie..." *speechless* i don't even know if i have to go on...but, i will. i felt my heart DROP to the floor, and the expression on my bf's face was heartbreaking. he just walked away. i apologized at least 10 times, not knowing what else TO say. he tried to pretend like he wasn't upset, but he was, so much. he said to me "Sarah, i've done some foolish things in relationships, but i've NEVER said something that ignorant...". so right now, i feel like i'm the only penny at the bottom of a well. someone please coach me thru this. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 Oh man, thats a tough one. I can understand some of the emotions he may be feeling because my husband called me by his ex's name once during, well, you know.. Give him some time to cool down. You have apologized and told him that you feel terrible. Let him know that the name only slipped out because you feel so comfortable with him that your mouth just got ahead of your brain and used a word that your mouth was used to saying for so many years, but it wasn't your heart saying it. This can be overcome. Take a deep breath now. You can send him a letter or email and he can take his own time to assess his feelings without being pressured. Just want to add - it sounds like the things that you found attractive in Ronnie are some of the same things that attracted you to the new bf. Those good qualities are the same things you will look for in any relationship. But the new bf does not have the bad qualities of Ronnie. At least it wasn't during an argument that you called him the wrong name -- to me I think I would feel even worse because I would be afraid that my partner had the same negative feelings toward me that he did for the other person and maybe a sign of impending breakup. Whereas saying the wrong name in a happy moment is more positive, because of the common good qualities. I don't know if that makes any sense ? I know what I mean, but I don't think I'm explaining it very well. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 to make you feel better, when i was messin around with one of my exes *travis* he was tickling me and i splurt out "stop kyle! (correct myself fast), i mean robert" f*ck was he so mad, i said 2 diff guys names before i said his. hey ppl make mistakes, this was an honest mistake. you need to not let it get to you, he will get over it trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sarah12385 Posted July 24, 2003 Author Share Posted July 24, 2003 heh no i completely understand what you mean. i just called him but he didn't answer :\ lol i'm going crazy. i feel so sick to my stomach. i dunno....i figure, you know, i *was* with Ronnie for 2 years, i was just acustomed to saying his name... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sarah12385 Posted July 24, 2003 Author Share Posted July 24, 2003 lol aw jelkexy, my stomach turned upside down just thinking of how akward that must have been for you i'm sorry! well i hope he gets over it. i feel like a pest. like one of those bug stuck on your windshield and just won't get off. even when you use the wiper fluid. haha....*looks around suspiciously*reason being, i called him. AGAIN. *Sigh*... Link to post Share on other sites
jessicakicksbut Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 Don't let it worry you, just be more conscious of it next time. I called my fiance by my ex's name a couple times by accident, but they sound so similiar and it just came out that way (my fiance's name is "jon" and my ex's name was "shawn"). Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 My best friend's mother used to run through every kid's name (plus the dog's) when trying to call one of her children. Your bf needs to know this is a VERY common error. Think of your grandma calling your newspaper by the name it had 20 years ago or somebody in your family calling a store by its old name. You know what you mean to say, but your brain picks the wrong word to describe it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gray Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 Originally posted by jalexy i said 2 diff guys names before i said his. Twice! Oi thats horrible. I think we've all been there tho Sarah. I did the same thing in bed, but luckily we weren't fooling around and it was too dark to see her face. I corrected myself IMMEDIATELY and continued on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sarah12385 Posted July 24, 2003 Author Share Posted July 24, 2003 well things have gotten progressively worse. not only is my boyfriend upset about the name thing, but...last night, supposedly, he was at Taco Bell and saw my EX BOYFRIEND there ~ the same one who's name i accidentally used. oh it was dreadful. so my bf waited outside while my boyfriend's friends (the ones who hate me...) were inside ordering. after they get the food, the friends come outside, saying that my ex gave them my email addy, phone number, aol name blah blah BLAH. and Jonathan (current bf) told me that he HEARD me ex say to him "you know what...Sarah is callin me all the time but i just never answer the phone..." i was in complete shock. i couldn't help but giggle and say to my boyfriend "you're gonna BELIEVE that?" and he says "well i dunno what TO believe". so before i got off the phone with him i said "one question....is this going to be the end of us?" and he replied with "i don't know." THE END. > i am VERY upset. Link to post Share on other sites
michiganmale27 Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 Wrong Name, I think I can one up you. I sent my girl friend at the time an email with a bunch of mushy stuff in it. There was one slight problem, I sent the email to the wrong address, so instead of Ms. X getting the email one of my other friends ironically enough a female happened to get it. She replies back to me saying, I don't think this email was intended for me. Talk about EMBARRASSING!!! Just bite the bullet in this instance, it was an honest mistake WE ALL MAKE THEM, and apologize even though you shouldn't have to in this case. Honestly, I think the guy is acting a little immature but who am I to judge. When we are jealous we sometimes act or say things that we do not actually mean. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sarah12385 Posted July 25, 2003 Author Share Posted July 25, 2003 guys...help me. please..... Jonathan (the bf for those of u who don't know) said to me at 6:30pm this evening "yeah i got a lot of sh*t to do tonight...my basement flooded so i gotta clean that up 'n just stuff to do..." I JUST SAW HIM driving in his car with BRIANNE (this skanky girl who WANTS HIM and HATES me). i about DIED. ooooooooo i need somethin REAL clever to say to him. any suggestions at all??? Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 Sarah, I think almost everyone has done what you've done at one time or another. I know I definitely have. It's hard not to..when you've been with someoen for a significant period of time, you are just so used to saying their name......it's not even something you think about, and then when you're no longer with them, well....it can slip out and it's a part of being human. Yes, you feel like a heel and you wish you could convince them that there's nothing more to it than "pure habit" but I gotta tell ya..........a large part of being in a relationship is realizing that your partner is human and makes mistakes. There's gotta be forgiveness when it comes to these types of things. Your guy is laying on the guilt trip and acting like a t*t. You sound like a really sweet, sincere, sensitive person and he should KNOW that you didn't intend to say your ex's name and that you are very embarassed and sorry. If you have to be with someone who won't accept a repeated apology, you are with the wrong person. Secondly, this crap about him not knowing what to believe about what his friends SAY your ex said to them.......well come on, it doesn't even make sense. Sounds to me like he's maybe searching for reasons to distance himself from you? And if we're going to talk about hurt feelings and all, what about all the crap he's put you through to date......his nasty gal pals there, their rude remarks that he didn't stand up for you on (at the time)..... Look how much stress and heartbreak and tension this guy has put you through so far? The first month of a relatioship should be extremely blissful...still in the 'honeymoon stage' where everything's new and fun and exciting and you think each other's hung the moon. From your posts here, it's all been a lot of stress. Is this really worth it, do you think? I wish you'd just reconsider and end it with him...you deserve much more. Sure, he's got some good qualities but look at how stressful things have been to date, and they don't seem to be settling down any. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sarah12385 Posted July 25, 2003 Author Share Posted July 25, 2003 you know what...you just might be right. i mean, he's so hot...lol, and his personality is out of this world.....but this CRAP is just stressful as all hell....*Sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts