Being silly?

[nykal]

My boyfriend and I have had a complicated history. We've been through cheating, jealousy issues, and insecurities, but also second chances, forgiveness, and learning how to trust again. Recently though, the girl he cheated on me with (emotionally) contacted him and asked to talk. They haven't spoken in a year, she happily has a boyfriend now, and my boyfriend even asked me for permission if it would be all right if they did talk, which I found baffling but very respectful. I said yes, of course, and they're planning on having a meeting later to talk--about what, I don't know. I trust him and know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me, but I still can't help feeling jealous and a little scared--not that he'll do anything with her, but that he might fall for her again. I know a lot of how I'm feeling is because of my own insecurities, but am I wrong to feel this way? And how do you get over your insecurities?

 

Any advice would be appreciated <3

[rproctor]

Why would he need to talk to her? If he really respected you he would have nothing to do with her. Tell him...

[porter218]

I think that was incredibly good that he asked you about this. However you really should tell him that whatever they need to talk about should be done over the phone and you should know when it happens. You have every reason to feel uneasy about this, and I agree in your opinion that he probably will not do anything with her. It is a compromise you should make to allow him to talk to her but only at a distance. If he is feeling free to go see her in person, then eventually I could see that the line could get blurred again.

[nykal]

Thanks you guys, for your advice. I worry though, that if I put restrictions on him, wouldn't I come off as controlling and too paranoid?

[porter218]

That is why you shouldn't tell him he can't talk to her..just come to a compromise that makes you both happy.