Reaction to a Disagreement. Friend/Lover?

[Orbit]

I work with women and we go out about once a week. We decided that we will be just friends because we work together (and that is the only reason). There is an obvious attraction between us and there have been a few times when we shared intimate moments that could have lead to something more, but one or both of us have pulled back.

Anyway, last week we had a miscommunication, that lead to us being upset with one another, so we avoided each other and did not talk for the entire week, which made us both miserable.

A couple of my co-workers noticed that she was especially upset, not acting like herself and coming in looking as she just rolled out of bed, hair a mess with ratty clothes. She left early and came in late on a couple of days also.

I would like for us to be more than just friends and from her reaction last week I think she might also, which is something I suspected from the beginning, but go figure she sends mixed signals.

So my question is would a disagreement with a friend normally affect a woman like that? Or is this a good indication that she might want more?

BTW I know I need to talk to her if I want the true answer, but I just want some people’s opinions before I broach the subject.

In case anybody was wondering, we talked about our disagreement and are fine now.

[dirty diana]

I work with women and we go out about once a week. We decided that we will be just friends because we work together (and that is the only reason). There is an obvious attraction between us and there have been a few times when we shared intimate moments that could have lead to something more, but one or both of us have pulled back.

Anyway, last week we had a miscommunication, that lead to us being upset with one another, so we avoided each other and did not talk for the entire week, which made us both miserable.

A couple of my co-workers noticed that she was especially upset, not acting like herself and coming in looking as she just rolled out of bed, hair a mess with ratty clothes. She left early and came in late on a couple of days also.

I would like for us to be more than just friends and from her reaction last week I think she might also, which is something I suspected from the beginning, but go figure she sends mixed signals.

So my question is would a disagreement with a friend normally affect a woman like that? Or is this a good indication that she might want more?

BTW I know I need to talk to her if I want the true answer, but I just want some people’s opinions before I broach the subject.

In case anybody was wondering, we talked about our disagreement and are fine now.

 

What was the disagreement about? Was it anything that would have made her feel rejected by you, unattractive to you, unimportant to you, etc?

If she likes you and you did something that hurt her feelings (ego) I could see how she would react in that manner.

[carhill]

This is the dangerous part of holding back attraction and acting like "friends". I have a lot of experience with this.

 

The emotional dynamic is a bit difficult to explain simply, but it's like something is missing (the part held back) which creates an unnatural tension (IMO eventually unhealthy tension) that affects each person. Because each person is feeling more, and doesn't have the balance of the shared natural affection, comfort and intimacy of a complete R, little things tend to get exaggerated and feelings get hurt. In a normal platonic friendship, the dynamic is much more casual and expectations and emotional investment are less, so the same things are just little blips, barely worth noticing.

 

Hope that helps!