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How do you people relax? I know some are naturally calm and good-natures, but some (like me) are naturally (or learned from family) on the anxious side. And anxiety is a straight road to feeling down, as far as I know.

 

So, how do you control that anxiety? Most importantly, how do you not over-contorl it? I guess my envisioned ideal is that you're generally calm, react readily if necessary, and calm down soon after reacting.

 

any tips to share?

 

=)

-yes

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Ha, my relaxation is also my addiction which is also a source of anxiety. Its a strange cycle, which i'm really not willing to break yet.

 

In college I used to meditate. Never to the extreme of hallucinations (sp?) and the like. But especially during finals and emotionally rough times, taking 30 minutes to sit in complete silence just trying to clear my mind did work.

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I just take one day at a time.......That's all you can do don't stress yourself out... ever here that song HUM LALALA K sera sera WHAT EVER WILL BE WILL BE ( HE HE)

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stoneheather:

that's the idea, but believe me, it's hard to adopt after years of not having it. good idea to tie it to a song though!!

 

gray:

yeah, meditation is something i try all the time. but, i find that a time of peace and quiet simply gives me more time to worry and plan and yuck... but i havent given up - it's just that i can easily count my breath (out loud or not) and think about things at the same time. *sigh*

 

-yes

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How about a nice long bubble bath by candlelight with some nice soothing music playing? Do you like tropical fish? Watching fish is known to lower your blood pressure and be very relaxing. Or, if you can afford it, spring for a massage. :D

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Bubble bath does sound good.But be careful cause I use to use it alot and my doctor says it can cause bladder infections. I use to get bladder infections from it.I just thought I would mention it just to help anyone out.But it doesnt mean it will happen,Im just saying be careful.

 

Im not saying a bubble bath is a bad idea though.I care about everyone,thats the only reason why I took the time to just say be careful.

 

Patty

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Sex. Lots and lots of sex. But since that's not always feasible ...

 

lately, going down to our farm and doing menial labor -- trimming trees, gardening, mowing, etc -- has been a pretty good way of calming myself down or at least de-stressing to the point where I feel like a good handle on things.

 

believe it or not, a good cry can usually be pretty cathartic, but usually makes my head hurt from achey sinuses

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1.Playing FREE cell till my 'little hands' fall off!!!

 

2. Logging onto forum sites such as this one to burst any form of tension or strength of insight I might/am feeling/thinking,etc. (as well as replying feedback to other individuals' thoughts/feelings,etc.)

 

3. Having long chats through im, or via phone about whatever & during whatever time of day!

 

4. Taking long WALKS to the beach or on long roads where no one, but ME knows the end :-)

 

5. Watching a good movie, or playing an addicting xbox, gameboy, or PS2 game..

 

And, the list could go on.....

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longlegzs80

I can totally relate to you. I am in the same boat where I am always anxious and really never calm. I know I have alot on my mind and I am curious too as to what I can do to relax alittle.

 

I don't know if you are like this, but I find myself always stressed over everything. With me not having a job, I am stressed and even more down in the dumps then usual.

 

WHAT CAN BE DONE THAT HAS REALLY MADE A DIFFERENCE IN PEOPLES LIVES THAT HAS BEEN A POSITIVE INFLUENCE ON THEIR MIND SET?

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baby steps! i find that i give up quickly because nothing seems to work - i stay anxious and frustrated, but not so much that it prevents me from functioning normally.

 

so i guess the plan for us, longlegz, is not to give up and do the following:

-exercise

-meditate

-take baths

-masturbate (putting it down b/c of your other post)

-go for walks

-manual labour -> quankanne, that is SO true, i always start cleaning the house when the stress goes toooo high. And esp. if it's outside in fresh air, it does wonders.

-for me, dancing is also very good, but it brings its own complications

 

good night,

-yes

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi again Yes,

 

Believe it or not, there are actually some people who experience MORE anxiety from the traditional forms of relaxation, incl meditation. Called a paradoxal effect, some people shouldn't wind down too much or (as you suggest) the road becomes paved for more anxiety and worry.

 

You might be the kind of person who best "relaxes" by staying busy! Keep yourself focussed on something that requires attention, such as a scary movie, a great novel, or writing an important term paper. This could provide you the break that you need from your worries. A quiet trip to the lake, on the other hand, will only provide too much opportunity for worry!

 

What kind of work do you do? (As I recall you are a university student, but a summer job?). I suspect that you should never have a repetitive, mind-numbing job-- because, guess what? that anxiety will find it's way back in as soon as you let your guard down.

 

Contrary to popular belief, people often feel anxious when they are rested and bored.

 

The trick is to break yourself of anxiety-producing thought patterns.

 

A great book is by psychologuist Aaron Beck, on breaking the habits of anxious thinking (like catastrophising). I would highly recommend you get a copy of this popular and successful book on managing anxiety. Visit your local Chapters or Barnes Noble.

 

Once you've broken yourself of those anxiety-forming thinking habits, then you might actually enjoy a quiet day at the lake!

 

Finally, have your tried a low dosage SSRI? (selective seratonin reuptake inhibitor). You might want to talk to your doc about this kind of non-addictive meds to help you break your negative thought patterns (but don't give up on the mental excercises from Beck's book as well)

 

Take care.

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thanks for your reply =)

 

What you say is very true - i never thought of it this way! When i sit quietly, i do feel more anxious because it gives me room to think and plan.

 

being busy is my #1 way of staying out of depression & anxiety, btw! I am working this summer, i have a full-time and a part-time job, both of which are mentally challenging - so between that and hobbies and family and friends, I do end up busy as hell! Books are great as well - anything that gets my mind off reality & gives those anxious cells a break.

 

It's interesting that you say calm peaceful places make some people even more stressed. Whenever I see a pretty lake with an empty bank, or imagine a stream in the mountains, etc (any of these "relaxing" pictures), i feel discomfort, and my imagination brings Big Foot from behind a tree, a huge snake from the lake, a bunch of eagles in the mountains - you get the picture!

 

So, this is definitely something to think about for me. Perhaps I'm doing myself harm by making myself sit quietly now and then. HMM... Is that how you are, also? Or usual relaxation techniques work for you?

 

-yes

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longlegzs80

I think you wrote about this before, but it was meditation or something on those lines, or anxiety. Anyways, I feel the same way. Is there a certain time when you are really anxious then others?

 

I don't do alot of art since I am an artist, don't ask why, but just expressing yourself in a painting, or expressing how you feel by colors, type etc, in a painting. ARt is an excellent way of calming down. Another thing is music. Soothing music, close your eyes and meditate. Never done it myself and wondered if meditation really works and always wondered if you can discover things about yourself but it is something you should try.

 

I do some art work as a way of being calm also listening to music. I find too that walking helps me, not a stroll but a serious walk, listening to headphones and just going. You will feel good afterwards. I know too, it helps with depression.

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