rubber_ball Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 Hi - I first posted a couple of months ago about a breakup i was involved in. My girlfriend cheated on me (not badly - but had kissed another guy a few times) and then we broke up because of it. She lied about it, and I didn't trust her anymore. Even though I would have tried again, she wanted to break it off. Anyway I was heartbroken for a long time and couldn't stop from contacting her (imagine that - after what she did), and nothing worked. But more recently, I began ignoring her completely. Well, guess what? Now she wants to get back together. Life without me wasn't so great, she says, and she realized her mistake. Am I jumping for joy? Nope. Isn't that funny? I finally got what I wanted - a return to normalcy, but i'm not satisfied? No, I'm not. It's one of those things where you want something so badly for so long, and when you finally get it you don't want it anymore. I declined. To those people who are in the position I was in a couple months ago, please take a lesson from this. Even though you may think the only thing you want in life is your lover back, you may be surprised to find out what you really wanted deep down should it ever happen. And I mean surprised. I didn't just think I wanted her back, I *knew* that she was all I wanted. But in the end, I realized that she wasn't good for me. Simply not having her for so long made my imagination run wild, putting her much higher than she deserved. Don't waste your time. And I mean that in the sense that if you're going to use valuable time trying to repair a badly damaged relationship, make sure it's fixable in the first place. When things are too badly damaged to be fixed, what do you do? Throw them out and buy a new one. My words of wisdom... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 It doesn't always work out for everybody the way it worked for you...but you've certainly made some very good points. I always feel it's much better to just move right on than to hang around waiting for somebody to come around. Link to post Share on other sites
spaceman Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 yeah, rubber ball. You've certainly made me think. It's nothing unusual for people to want what they can't have and then I suppose in your situation, once you stopped contacting, then that was the tables turned so she wanted what she couldn't have, essentially. I guess whilst I think I want my ex back I probably wouldn't know for sure unless she wanted me back (unlikely as it is in my case!) I do think that while I'd possibly try again, I'd be very wary (having been dumped once before by her) -I'd always feel like I'm on "borrowed time" and wouldn't be easy to just be as before and for that reason it possibly would fail again -it would depend on how much she had realised it was a mistake to end it the first time and whether it was one thing or a fundamental problem -some people are more forgiving and understanding -in that case though, problems possibly wouldn't even occur in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
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