boricua361 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 ive been going out wit my boyfriend for about a year. and i truly love him without a doubt. hes my best friend. we have the most fun ever. but sometimes i feel like its a routine becuase we spend so much time together...ALOT..i mean most the time i enjoy it,but at times i just wanna let loose becuase i feel tied down,im only 19.and we already plan to be together n everything which i have no problem with! at all...but i started talking to a guy who i was kinda atracted with and well i went to his house and i guess me stupidly thinking nothing would happen. but of course something did nothing bad we just made out, and i feel bad now. becuase i tell my boyfriend every thing. hes the love of my life,but i felt like sometimes i just need something to give me variety in my life,or something? idont know its a verry confusing...i know it suonds messed up but i saw him and kissed him and everything but i hardly felt guilty.im more worried about him finding out...cuz hes so hooked on me. but i have no feelings for this other guy. at alll...just the atraction something draws me to him..idont know... what is wrong with me? or what could or should i do to make this better? pleasee help Link to post Share on other sites
I am who I am Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Once a ho.... always a ho. I feel sorry for your future husband... Link to post Share on other sites
I am who I am Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Oh... sorry.... let me candy-coat this so you feel better about your self / actions! You (beautiful you!) A (terrific person stuck in a hard place right now) Ho. (ho ho... Santa Claus couldn't say it better) Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Ouch... OP, you're 19. You have a lot of things to learn about life. You just learned one important thing. Think about this act and imagine if it had been your BF and another girl. How would you feel about yourself and him? Are you ready for a long term adult love relationship? I don't know. You will make mistakes. We all do. Stand up, be honest, take your licks, learn and move on. If your R survives, good on ya Link to post Share on other sites
I am who I am Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Ouch... Truth hurts? Link to post Share on other sites
Delphine Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 ive been going out wit my boyfriend for about a year. and i truly love him without a doubt. hes my best friend. we have the most fun ever. but sometimes i feel like its a routine becuase we spend so much time together...ALOT..i mean most the time i enjoy it,but at times i just wanna let loose becuase i feel tied down,im only 19.and we already plan to be together n everything which i have no problem with! at all...but i started talking to a guy who i was kinda atracted with and well i went to his house and i guess me stupidly thinking nothing would happen. but of course something did nothing bad we just made out, and i feel bad now. becuase i tell my boyfriend every thing. hes the love of my life,but i felt like sometimes i just need something to give me variety in my life,or something? idont know its a verry confusing...i know it suonds messed up but i saw him and kissed him and everything but i hardly felt guilty.im more worried about him finding out...cuz hes so hooked on me. but i have no feelings for this other guy. at alll...just the atraction something draws me to him..idont know... what is wrong with me? or what could or should i do to make this better? pleasee help Theres nothing turly wrong with what you did. It happens it the best of us. If you do it more then twice.. then thats not good. - but you only did once, and it wasnt sex.. just make out- Since you two have been in a LONGG relationship, its understandable. But since you proved your self that you love him (mostly because your terrified about the down fall of telling him) you should tell him... its been a year and who knows if hes been hiding something as well and dieing to get it out. i was in this relationship, but i didnt really like the guy i was going out with, i felt trapped and he was needed and clingy.. i just wanted out. He would express is love for me and it then became clear that he only wanted phyical stuff by saying "ill do anything for you"- i tought i was to keep other guys away, but when i asked him he made it clear.... and at the same time, this boy- much older then me- that i had a HUGE crush on said that he liked me.. and one night i went alone with him in the back of his van.. he was ever so sweet, and he kissed me on the neck, and he kept saying "do what you feel is right" because i didnt like my boyfriend and i liked him a lot.. and it felt soo right.. i had no regret and when i hung out with my boyfriend it was like nothing ever happen... but when i broke up with my boyfriend it became clear that the boy i cheated on him with.. was only using me to hurt my ex.. and i was the one hurt, badly...... a little different from your story.. but the main thing is that you most likely did need your space... i hate clinglyness!!! but i didnt regret one thing about cheating on him..i felt sorry for him, but i woulded take back that night.. cheating on him made me relieze i didnt like him.. and you cheating on your boyfriend made you relieze that you loved yours. but anyways,hoped i helped a little.. for your not a whore for what you did, it happens Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Truth hurts? More a reflection of lack of empathy and use of pejoratives... Link to post Share on other sites
I am who I am Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 More a reflection of lack of empathyEmpathy? You want me to do what? Sorry if I don't supplicate others that try to use the internet as a confessional, hoping that others will say their actions are okay, giving way to any guilt they may have. As Delphine so justly pointed out... Theres nothing turly wrong with what you did. It happens it the best of us.???? It just happens? Sorry, but cheating is something that you actively do... it doesn't just "happen" by accident. Its responses like this that tell the OP that cheating is acceptable, and thats its part of relationships, when it is anything but. and use of pejoratives...I just call it like I see it... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 So do I. Wanna play? Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Give the girl a break, she's 19. OP, maybe you need to get some space for a while and explore. You are very young. If you feel like you really love your boyfriend and want to make it work, then you've made your mistake and don't do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
twice_shy Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 ive been going out wit my boyfriend for about a year. and i truly love him without a doubt. If there was absolutely no "doubt" at all, you wouldn't have cheated on him. hes my best friend. we have the most fun ever. but sometimes i feel like its a routine becuase we spend so much time And what do you think marriage will be like? If you want to get married sometime in the future, you have some growing up to do because newness wears off. together...ALOT..i mean most the time i enjoy it,but at times i just wanna let loose becuase i feel tied down,im only 19. So break up with him, set him free, that way you can get as loose as you want. Don't want to lose him? Well sorry to say that would be too bad. If you want to do the decent thing you can't keep him and screw around on him behind his back. we already plan to be together n everything which i have no problem with at all...but i started talking to a guy who i was kinda atracted with and well i went to his house and i guess me stupidly thinking nothing would happen. I think you knew, or hoped, something would happen. Why would you go to any other guy's house alone if you are attracted to him? but of course something did nothing bad we just made out That is bad enough and cheating just the same. and i feel bad now. becuase i tell my boyfriend every thing. hes the love of my life,but i felt like sometimes i just need something to give me variety in my life,or something? If you want variety in life, then you shouldn't be in a committed relationship. That "variety", with regards to you, is someone OTHER than your bf. Have you ever thought about not having a bf? idont know its a verry confusing...i know it suonds messed up but i saw him and kissed him and everything but i hardly felt guilty. You didn't feel guilty? As if cheating wasn't bad enough, THAT is one big reason to break up with your bf. You didn't feel guilty about it and he doesn't deserve to be with someone like that. im more worried about him finding out...cuz hes so hooked on me. but i have no feelings for this other guy. That doesn't make it any better. at alll...just the atraction something draws me to him..idont know... what is wrong with me? You asked the question, so I will answer. You are fickle. You see a pretty face and you want it. Not fair to your bf. You need to come clean with him and tell him. He may leave you for it, but that is only the right thing to do. He needs to know how you are so he can make a decision on how to live his life. or what could or should i do to make this better? pleasee help What can you do to make it better? Stop acting on silly attractions with other guys and start being faithful... Thats about it. If it is something about you that you just have to go over to an attractive guy's house, then there is nothing you can do but do the right thing and spare your bf. He doesn't deserve someone like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Teenage girls can rarely commit. You're clearly the type that shouldn't be in a committed relationship right now. Accept that you're that person and break up with your guy. Date randoms for a while until you mature and are ready for something serious. Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Everyone calm down and get a grip! The OP and her BF are in a "dating" relationship. I don't see anywhere in OP's story where they are committed, or exclusive, or anything other than a "dating" relationship. Dating is a time for discovery, she discovered she is attracted at least occasionally to someone else. She needs to make a decision now. Tell her boyfriend, not to. Do it again or don't. They aren't a married couple... Link to post Share on other sites
BUENG1 Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Everyone calm down and get a grip! The OP and her BF are in a "dating" relationship. I don't see anywhere in OP's story where they are committed, or exclusive, or anything other than a "dating" relationship. Dating is a time for discovery, she discovered she is attracted at least occasionally to someone else. She needs to make a decision now. Tell her boyfriend, not to. Do it again or don't. They aren't a married couple... The fact that she says she "cheated" on her boyfriend implies an exclusive relationship...... Link to post Share on other sites
t_veron Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 what is wrong with me? or what could or should i do to make this better? pleasee help First of all you're 19 which doesn't give you an excuse to screw with people's emotions but you are young and learning. I think this is a good thing that's happened ONLY if you do something about what you learned. We learn from our mistakes and you just learned you can lose someone and something good by cheating. For the future never give someone a reason to lose trust by being disloyal. Break up if you want to sleep around but be honest why. People might not like the honesty but they will respect you in the long run for it. There's also a chance that things might work out in the future if you were honest. Lying just kills any chance at anything. You're not a bad person but if you do it again after this I'd go with others that you're a ho. Learn from your mistake and do the right thing from now on and you're just a normal person growing up. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
saraispiel19 Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 ah well when your young and your in a long term relationship it's hard to stick to it. you may feel in heart you love him but really your actions may say other wise-- pay attention to yourself your the only one who can say you do love him or not (not by words or feelings but by actions)- see what you've done this past week to say otherwise. However kissing another guy is cheating- not very harsh and he may looked past it but the best thing to do is cut ties from the other guy and fess up to your BF (if you already hadn't i can't remember). plus you were attracted to the newness not really him-- when something new happens you get that jolted feeling you once did about your mate it's normal but it's something you may want to stray away from. Since you are just 19 are you sure your ready to commit your whole life just to him? Follow through with your education and try not to have any children (or anymore if you do have any). Be smart because only you can dictate what the future holds. good luck to you :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Everyone calm down and get a grip! The OP and her BF are in a "dating" relationship. I don't see anywhere in OP's story where they are committed, or exclusive, or anything other than a "dating" relationship. Dating is a time for discovery, she discovered she is attracted at least occasionally to someone else. She needs to make a decision now. Tell her boyfriend, not to. Do it again or don't. They aren't a married couple... Cheating pretty much means that their relationship became exclusive. Also, they've been together for over 1 year and if that's not exclusive, then I don't know what is.. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Theres nothing turly wrong with what you did. If her bf found out, I think he'd have a different take on that. And if what you say is true, then why isn't she telling her bf? Why doesn't she want him to find out? It happens it the best of us. No.....it doesn't. Not everyone cheats. And even if someone does, it doesn't just "happen" to them. If you do it more then twice.. then thats not good. - but you only did once, and it wasnt sex.. just make out- Since you two have been in a LONGG relationship, its understandable. No, its not understandable...at all. So when 2 people have been together a long time, its understandable that one of them should get a little on the side? Thats basically what you are saying. But since you proved your self that you love him (mostly because your terrified about the down fall of telling him) you should tell him If she loved him, she wouldn't have cheated. ... its been a year and who knows if hes been hiding something as well and dieing to get it out. You can assume all you like. bottom line, she cheated....no need to give her any more baseless justifications. i was in this relationship, but i didnt really like the guy i was going out with, i felt trapped and he was needed and clingy.. i just wanted out. He would express is love for me and it then became clear that he only wanted phyical stuff by saying "ill do anything for you"- i tought i was to keep other guys away, but when i asked him he made it clear.... and at the same time, this boy- much older then me- that i had a HUGE crush on said that he liked me.. and one night i went alone with him in the back of his van.. he was ever so sweet, and he kissed me on the neck, and he kept saying "do what you feel is right" because i didnt like my boyfriend and i liked him a lot.. and it felt soo right.. i had no regret and when i hung out with my boyfriend it was like nothing ever happen This is about the worst justification I have ever heard. If you didn't like you boyfriend and wanted out, then why didn't you just get out? Why cheat and lower yourself? ... but when i broke up with my boyfriend it became clear that the boy i cheated on him with.. was only using me to hurt my ex.. and i was the one hurt, badly What comes around goes around. .. but the main thing is that you most likely did need your space... i hate clinglyness!!! but i didnt regret one thing about cheating on him..i felt sorry for him, but i woulded take back that night.. cheating on him made me relieze i didnt like him.. and you cheating on your boyfriend made you relieze that you loved yours. Sorry, I gotta call bs on that one. So basically what you are telling her is that cheating is a good thing. It can make you realize you love your partner or don't. Well if someone cheated on me and told me it made them realize how much they really loved me, then I'd say, "awww, that is so sweet........now get out". Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Everyone calm down and get a grip! The OP and her BF are in a "dating" relationship. I don't see anywhere in OP's story where they are committed, or exclusive, or anything other than a "dating" relationship. Then she can stop calling him her boyfriend then. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 This this guy alone, and stop throwing the word love around when you clearly have no idea what the hell the word means. Link to post Share on other sites
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