tommo66 Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Hi i have gone nearly a week with NC, even though i have received 2 texts off my ex gf, i deleted her off facebook and i don`t check her profile anymore, i don`t carry my mobile phone around with me, when i go to work, i leave it at home, it makes your day alot better. good luck too everyone going NC. Link to post Share on other sites
heatherb16 Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 I plan to be in NC for 2 weeks, and more of course, but my ex's birthday is on July 22nd. We left on pretty decent terms but I'm still not sure. Should I still leave him a quick text wishing him a Happy Birthday? Or not at all? I'm scared if I do, I might go right back to where I was at square one. Link to post Share on other sites
wontgohomewou Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Hey everyone. I've been NC 25 days now (I had to count this right now) and my life has been a lot better. I get dreams sometimes about my ex-gf, but I tend to get over them pretty quickly. They say you get dreams about someone when you ignore them or don't talk about them with anyone so I'll share my thoughts about her with you guys. My stupid cousin though keeps telling me what my ex says to him about me. She misses me, but EFF THAT. It's been 7 months since the break up and though I do miss her, it is no where near what it was like at the beginning. When people tell you that the pain will lessen and everything WILL get better, they aren't kidding. Besides, I have a couple dates lined up when I go back to college. Pretty excited for that! PSU <333 Link to post Share on other sites
hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 funny heather my exes bday is on july 22 too we are on good terms was contemplating buying her the new jordin sparks cd but i dont know if i should give her that much attention it wont mean anything to her i might just drop her an email at like 1145pm to say happy bday shyt she might be goin out with another guy so y should i get her a gift. Link to post Share on other sites
heatherb16 Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 funny heather my exes bday is on july 22 too we are on good terms was contemplating buying her the new jordin sparks cd but i dont know if i should give her that much attention it wont mean anything to her i might just drop her an email at like 1145pm to say happy bday shyt she might be goin out with another guy so y should i get her a gift. That is a little weird. I originally was planning on getting my ex something too, but that was when we were still in contact. I figured no gift would be best, right now, because that would mean seeing him to give him his present. Maybe a simple text, just to let him know I still care. Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Ah-ha, been wondering what NC and LC were...figured out the MC. I guess I am on day 2 of very LC since my husband informed me that he fell out of love with me...only nine days after a surgery that has me out of work for over a month. He sent me a text yesterday to which I did not respond and one today asking how I was (due to the surgery) and apologizing for hurting me...oh, and he wanted the phone number for his car payment....does it count that I simply sent him the number and didn't respond to anything else? Link to post Share on other sites
greymachina Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 My nearly 3 year ex left me for another guy. She told me she still loves me yet she can't breaks up with him. This hurts . . . I'm on my 2nd day of NC . It kills . . . Link to post Share on other sites
moo Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Day 8 consecutive NC for me today. Still going strong. I would have liked to be friends with my ex, but the way he left ruined any chance of that. I'm glad I did the full NC. One day I might regret tearing up all of his pictures and destroying all the emails, but it is what I needed as of now. I was really tempted to search the internet and read about him, but I resisted. I'm glad that I did. I don't need to look at his name or read anything about him. Lately, I've found myself feeling smidges of gratitude towards his current girlfriend. I only read a very small piece that was online from the book "It's called a Breakup Because it is broken" and it has helped me already. Tomorrow I get the book from the library. I can't wait. Link to post Share on other sites
AnswersPls Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 7 days of NC for me. Never felt like callin him.. Becoz I am not sure what to say anymore.. Your just grow tired. But, is asking his frens about him.. breaking the NC rules?.. Plus, is checking to see if his on skype also breakin NC rules? Link to post Share on other sites
aboynamedmike Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 7 days of NC for me. Never felt like callin him.. Becoz I am not sure what to say anymore.. Your just grow tired. But, is asking his frens about him.. breaking the NC rules?.. Plus, is checking to see if his on skype also breakin NC rules? I'd say anything that is related to your ex would be breaking NC. Even if he doesn't know it... But my story: I told my ex a week and a half ago that I didn't want to talk to her anymore(I initiated break up), so that I could get over her. I know that if I still talk to her that it will only prolong my healing process. She's honored my request, but has texted me on a few occasions and even called me at 3am last night because she couldn't sleep and "didn't know who else to call" I didn't call her back but did text her. I really don't want to keep in contact with her but we go to the same school, have the same mutual friends... ..f my life right now Link to post Share on other sites
New_life Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 mike, If you broke up why are you hurting? Just like to know since my ex broke it off and she says to be in pain?? Why then suffer? Link to post Share on other sites
aboynamedmike Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 mike, If you broke up why are you hurting? Just like to know since my ex broke it off and she says to be in pain?? Why then suffer? Yea it doesn't make sense does it? It's hard for me because she was my first real girlfriend, the first person I had sex with, the first love of my life. It's pretty complicated (we broke up a few times, she cheated on me, I needed space...) and we just went thru so much over the course of almost 2 years that I couldn't take it anymore. I'm only 20 and I'm not ready to fully commit myself to someone who was as insecure and clingy as she was(as much as I tried to help her otherwise). So I knew I had to break it off, for both of our sakes. I really wish it would've worked out because we got along really well sometimes. We shared a lot in common, but she was just too insecure and it was driving me away.. Link to post Share on other sites
greymachina Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 hm, I can't believe you said that she's insecure, although she cheated on you. If it's the other way around, and she's insecure , that's understandable but... Link to post Share on other sites
aboynamedmike Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 hm, I can't believe you said that she's insecure, although she cheated on you. If it's the other way around, and she's insecure , that's understandable but... Nope you read it right man. This girl is a piece of work, and maybe someone else can piece her together but not me, I've tried. Link to post Share on other sites
AnswersPls Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Nope you read it right man. This girl is a piece of work, and maybe someone else can piece her together but not me, I've tried. Its nice to hear from what a dumper have to say... My ex is telling me that his frens that he does not wan to keep in contact with me becoz he does not wan to give me any kind of false hope.. Per haps he is like u, he probably tried but he is tired of compromising.. hes 29 and i am 26. As a dumper's point of view, is there anyway to salvage the relationship?.. I am now in the process of healing, but i do wan him back. Do u tink there is any chance? Link to post Share on other sites
AnswersPls Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Its nice to hear from what a dumper have to say... My ex is telling me that his frens that he does not wan to keep in contact with me becoz he does not wan to give me any kind of false hope.. Per haps he is like u, he probably tried but he is tired of compromising.. hes 29 and i am 26. As a dumper's point of view, is there anyway to salvage the relationship?.. I am now in the process of healing, but i do wan him back. Do u tink there is any chance? By the way. its not that i cheated on him or anything. its perhaps my temper that he does not like.. Link to post Share on other sites
aboynamedmike Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 By the way. its not that i cheated on him or anything. its perhaps my temper that he does not like.. Well I don't know about your relationship. But if my ex were to stop being secure and trust me more, than I would take her back, but the chances of that are low, and I realized that a while go. As for you, he may have dumped you for reason's you don't necessarily want to hear. But if you are willing, then maybe ask him what it was that made him ultimately break it off. I don't think it would be best to try and pressure him into taking you back, but instead find out what it was and improve on it on your own. But you said he's not talking to you because he doesn't want to give you false hope so maybe there is no chance of getting back together. It's hard I know. Link to post Share on other sites
moo Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Got the book "It's called a Breakup Because it's Broken" today and started reading it. I feel better already. The more I read this book the more I realize that I should have kicked my ex to the curb within the 1st few dates. I will never go out with anyone so selfish and so insensitive again. If a man doesn't make me a priority in his life no matter HOW MANY excuses he has...I'm gone! I'm learning things I never learned before because my parents had a very bad marriage. I will never live on crumbs again! Link to post Share on other sites
AnswersPls Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Well I don't know about your relationship. But if my ex were to stop being secure and trust me more, than I would take her back, but the chances of that are low, and I realized that a while go. As for you, he may have dumped you for reason's you don't necessarily want to hear. But if you are willing, then maybe ask him what it was that made him ultimately break it off. I don't think it would be best to try and pressure him into taking you back, but instead find out what it was and improve on it on your own. But you said he's not talking to you because he doesn't want to give you false hope so maybe there is no chance of getting back together. It's hard I know. hey thanks for replying to my message.. yeap he mentioned to his frens that my character is exactly like his best fren (terrible temper).. and that he cannot see himself marrying his best fren for life.. So you trying to tell me there is no more chance to salvage?.. oh gosh.. after 4 yrs.. i thot he was the one.. Its really really very hard... I really dunno wat I can do anymore.. Its painful.. very very very very painful... I know its just a painful period.. just need to get past this stage.!.. UrgHh... men.. are just more logically.. dun u think? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 I don't know that men are necessarily more logical or even that logic has a predominant place in emotional healing, but I do know that men process emotion and emotional events very differently than women do. Further, within the genders, each of us is unique and experience the process differently than anyone else, even though there might be similarities along the way. Someone asked about things that break NC.... The most common breaking of NC is having thoughts beyond the most brief recollections or considerations involving the ex. When a sight, smell or touch reminds one of the ex and the mind lingers, that's breaking NC. Nothing wrong with that; it's normal. The more blatant ones are reading about the ex; checking up with friends about the ex; venting with friends about the ex; keeping remembrances of the ex, even simple things like names and phone numbers/addresses, etc. I recall, many years ago, when I went NC with a MW I was involved with, and long before I really knew what NC was, I did a total cleansing. All evidence of her disappeared. I even sent back to her all of our correspondence (love letters/cards/notes, etc). Total black hole. Even then, it took me a good two years before I felt strong enough to even think about dating anyone. Now friends, she tells me she still has all that stuff and we've had a laugh or two about what a bitch I was. Very true. It helped me get over her, at least that version (the MW). Well, carry on. Glad to see the thread is still alive. That's why I keep it in my sig line Link to post Share on other sites
moo Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 I feel off the wagon in spirit. I woke up angry and just had a mother of a crying fit. I just cried and cried and wanted to call him. I just keep thinking if I call him...this time it will be different. But I know it won't be. I stayed strong...well, I spent some hours in bed sulking, but I did not break NC. Gosh, it's amazing to me how some people can just stand by and see that they have broken you and not even offer so much as an apology after they claim to have loved you. It really boggles my mind how cold and cruel some people can be. Link to post Share on other sites
moo Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 I'm really trying to fight the urge to break NC. I thought about emailing and/or calling him much of today. I know I have a responsibility to my roommate. I know it's not fair for me to keep breaking down in tears..It's not fair for me to hold onto him as if I am dying while I'm crying myself into a tizzy. If I break NC I will end up in tears and once again he's gonna have to pick up the pieces. He said if I break NC, he won't be mad, but he will be disappointed in me. I promised him and myself, yesterday and today, that I would NOT break NC, and I haven't but it's just soooo darn hard. Sometimes I feel if I don't contact my ex I will jump out of my skin. I have 4 more days to go before I will have 2 weeks of consecutive NC and I don't want to blow it. I just keep fantasizing that this time if I break NC, my ex will come back to me. (Sigh) I know, I know...he's not coming back. Link to post Share on other sites
hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 NC is good for the heart god it will help u heal i am tryin it but it is hard i havent called her in like 2 dayz and normally we dont talk really unless i see her at the gym but i have my dayz(like 2day) i wanna talk to her and just be around her but i know that is not good for me right now. Link to post Share on other sites
moo Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Yesterday I took the star down that I had rewarded myself for not contacting him. It was at the end of the day and I could not take it anymore. I went to the computer and turned it on, so I could email him...but I stopped myself and went back out the the other room and sat next to my roommate and just cried. I put another star up to replace the one I took down from the calendar and watched Dr. Who with my roommate. I'm glad. I keep reminding myself, I don't want to be like my mother...I can no longer be with a man that trashes my self-esteem and refuses to make me a priority in his life. Got to be strong and have to carry that strength into the next relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
moo Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Sometimes I feel as if I am in my own private Hell. Tomorrow marks 14 days in a row that I kept NC. I was hoping by now it would be much easier. The crying fits are less frequent, but when they come they are strong and hard. They take so much out of me. They drain me. Link to post Share on other sites
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