carhill Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 "Go out on a limb" means I'm taking a risk that my suggestion will have a negative response since it is contrary to the customary guidelines of NC. I don't expect you to be rejected but I did reiterate your concern about the risk of being rejected. Apparently, such rejection is a matter of importance to you and I noted it. I am restless, I like to have adventure and to explore the my limitations, to take risks.....I am not the person to have a routine life.... Sounds like my suggestion is right up your alley (perfect for you) Link to post Share on other sites
Love_Forest Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 yes I do not want to be rejected....after 14 dates I can say is hard to find the one you like.... Link to post Share on other sites
critter909 Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 yes I do not want to be rejected....after 14 dates I can say is hard to find the one you like.... Are you sure that's not the reason you want him back? (because you haven't been able to find someone else you like). Or do you think you truly still care about him? It has been a really long time. My personal advice would be to try and move on. It would be very difficult to ignore all the things both of you have been up to in that time. Link to post Share on other sites
Love_Forest Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Are you sure that's not the reason you want him back? (because you haven't been able to find someone else you like). Or do you think you truly still care about him? It has been a really long time. My personal advice would be to try and move on. It would be very difficult to ignore all the things both of you have been up to in that time. My social worker said i am really changed, I changed a lot. To me is clear I care about him, I did mistakes because I overreact when he did not come at the meeting (and made me to feel as person without value for him) but I am ready to forget that and ready to forget what was bad between as. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alialui Posted June 19, 2008 Author Share Posted June 19, 2008 yeah it's understandable. it was just 2 days after I told him I wanted go NC and 1 week after the fight. He always called if I was not calling him even if I had hurt him during argument. I started dating this guy and he adores me. he texts me everyday to check how I was doing and going to visit me next weekend. (it's a long distance). I should admit that I love all the attention I'm getting from this guy. He's cute, very successful and nice. (He seems like that... but I don't really know him yet) However, I can't stop thinking about my ex. weird thing is... I even feel like no... i'm convinced that we'll meet again and have a great relationship and eventually get married. this "break" is just a process of having us grow up to be better partners for each other. (I know it's crazy... but I have no idea why i have this definite feeling) my ex started his internship 4-5 hours away from our school. He must be meeting alot of people including girls. maybe he started dating too. but I wish he's missing me and wondering how i was doing. Is there anybody who had this kinda feeling? no matter how bad the situation is, you still have a strong faith that s/he's the one and eventually met him again and get married? Maybe, I'm just going thru momentary insanity after the breakup. Give me some support plz. I'll pray for all of you who are going thru pain. :bunny::bunny::bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
critter909 Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 We all hope for something like that... But when I think about it, I don't want the same old thing back. I want back what we had 2 years ago. I'm in love with the man I used to know, not the man he is now. So even if he wanted to come back I doubt it would really be what I want. But I still have the same fantasy Link to post Share on other sites
Love_Forest Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 i'm convinced that we'll meet again and have a great relationship and eventually get married. this "break" is just a process of having us grow up to be better partners for each other. (I know it's crazy... but I have no idea why i have this definite feeling) I am so glad you are able to think like this. this is my dream too. just he did not call since almost 1 year. I am glad you start to date, that is a good sign you live your life and you don"t let you be down. I wish you all you dream to come true Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 YYY, glad to have ya. Stick with us and you'll make it. I'll tell ya something. There's nothing worse than having a connection you just wish would go away. I've had mine for over 23 years now. I wanted it to stop many years ago and it just wouldn't. I got married and it wouldn't. My mom got Alzheimer's and it wouldn't. She can treat me good or bad and it's still there. I've been dealing with it likely longer than you've been alive. So, if I can do NC, so can you. One day at a time I'm at day 6..... Link to post Share on other sites
Abomination Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Y, Don't give up! Get a punching bag or something, work out. It helps TONS. My ex only contacts me here and there, when she needs a shoulder to cry on. Like an idiot, I give in every time. When she leaves, I find myself texting and calling her. Again, I do this because I'm a f***ing retard. NO MORE! I'm starting NC, this is day 1. She can kiss my ass. I'm gonna go meet some hot chicks tonight, son! - A Link to post Share on other sites
sfsassy Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Hey, don't need this now, but a no contact buddy about four years ago, wwould have been soooooooooooooooooo good for me. Contact just causes you pain, and even if you want someone back, it just makes you look pathetic to the other person. Plus when you have no contact, after a few months (not right away, I KNOW) you can more clearly assess the situation. I now believe in extreme NC as well, meaning do not look at letters, pictures, emails, myspace accounts, whatever associated with your ex. It was a long, long process, but I'm at a place where I wish my ex well, but do not obsess over him. Having NC from the begining wwould have helped a lot, so don't call, text, email, visit, or send smoke signals! Link to post Share on other sites
JustPassingThru Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 I've ran into my ex 3 times since the break-up... NC is hard. Link to post Share on other sites
ate_the_paint Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 What's the deal on NC if the dumper keeps trying to contact you? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 That's easy. Don't accept contact. Screen calls. Use VM. Ignore texts and e-mails. For more serious situations, changing one's information (phone number, e-mail, etc.) may be necessary. I know how vulnerable I am to a voice. Therefore, I hear no voices..... Day 12 Link to post Share on other sites
qsmiles70 Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 and how do you handle it when you see him at camp dropoffs because his daughter and mine are best friends (we're both divorced)? When I first saw him, we went the other way and hung out on the playground a bit. Then we bumped into them at the local pizza place and he said "are you trying to ignore me"? I said, No (lightly) then sent him a text later that said I wasn't trying to ignore him, just respecting what we had talked about a day earlier (where I said I needed some distance because I wasn't sure I wanted to be friends with him). He broke up with me 4 months ago after a 1 1/2 year very intense relationship. He's been dating someone (long distance for about 6 weeks). Help... I don't know how to deal with this. I'm trying to treat him like I do my ex because of the kids being friends. Link to post Share on other sites
superam Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Hi guys. In a heart break situation myself.Im prepared to give out my e-mail so that i can recieve and send personnal messages. One of the worse things about NC is the loneleness and feeling that everyone you,ve spoke to are getting abit fed up with you going on about the same thing. It,s because it consumes you and it,s always on our minds, thats why. Im here to listern and be listered to if anyones interested. I,ve also got a link to a free film that has inspired me and i,m willing to share it. Chin up guys, it,s tough but NOT insurmountable. Alan Link to post Share on other sites
Corinne Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 I need an NC buddy too! Saw him yesterday and told him today that its best just to let it go so I guess tomorrow is day one I am really only doing it so he has time to miss me I live in hope that he might soften his hardened heart and realise that I am not such a bad person but I don't want to be hanging on forever..... I hope I get over that! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 17 days here. Up and down. Moments of abject peace and then sweaty palms and crushing angina-like pain. One day at a time Link to post Share on other sites
stillstrong1 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Hi superam, I would be happy to exchange info with you and watch that film. I don't know how to exchange emails privately though, lol Link to post Share on other sites
Corinne Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Hi superam, I would be happy to exchange info with you and watch that film. I don't know how to exchange emails privately though, lol Me too and I'm pretty sure everyone I know is bored silly with my whining Link to post Share on other sites
hades07 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Haha yep all my friends are sick of hearing me talk about my ex-gf too. It hasnt even been a month yet. She said after 2 1/2 years she needs to make sure were right for each other because if we didnt break up soon she would have stayed with me forever. Problem I have is its nearly impossible for me to have no contact since we have the same exact friends minus a couple of them. Link to post Share on other sites
stillstrong1 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Me too and I'm pretty sure everyone I know is bored silly with my whining How do you contact someone privately on this site? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 How do you contact someone privately on this site? You can subscribe (support the site through payment) or wait 30 days and I think around 100 posts and you'll get PM access automatically. Link to post Share on other sites
sas218 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 I want to go NC too, but I keep slipping. He will call or text me or I will do the same. I guess it is habit. I go a few days and then I feel myself slidding. This is a great idea and I hope I can help some maintain NC as well. Link to post Share on other sites
stillstrong1 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 I'm on day 2! Link to post Share on other sites
trust Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Hades07 and Stillstrong01: It's great that you have friends who will support you, even if just by listening. It is a downer for them, but I'm sure they understand. What I did was "rotate out" friends. And then when both of the married couples I was "leaning" on got divorced shortly after my divorce, I was there for the non-cheater in those cases. Just make sure you return the favor when they are going through their hard time. I'm also here for you on this site if you need someone to listen to your break up issues. Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts