EmperorR Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 day 70 today i had to drive by where my ex lives and boy i felt like crap, i just wanted to message like hey im just outside your apartment but I couldn't Link to post Share on other sites
rainshine Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 I'm back to square one today. I broke the NC rules and we met yesterday. He suddenly wants to talk, after I told him that I'm okay with our break up and I'm moving on..... But I got the same spill.... he said he wants to move on, he is happy where he is now. But I guess he wants to tell that on my face and see my reaction....whether I would break apart, like I used to. well he is wrong.....i was so numb....that nothing could hurt me anymore. Back to NC....the NC buddy is a great idea. Link to post Share on other sites
fishtaco Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 Well, NC since Monday for me (6 days I guess, felt like a lifetime). Broke up with her Wednesday before. She contacted me Monday and tried to get back together. Had more really painful talk. We weren't fighting, but unfortunately as far as I'm concerned the relationship was over. It hurts me deeply to see her cry. A part of me wish I could get back together with her, she is a great woman, and we had some great times together. But we have too many differences, the road ahead is filled with obstacles. I made a judgment call that we won't be able to make it. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right, but it was a decision I made, and I'm sticking with it. NC is still a painful process, but I've done this before, so has she. We should be able to handle this fine. I like to compare this to getting punched in the face. It hurts the same every single time. But after you've been punched x number of times, you learn to deal with it, and you learn to do the right thing, no matter how counter intuitive they are. I was tempted to look at her myspace the other night. She already removed herself off of my list. But I could find her if I wanted to. I stopped myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Amgila41 Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 HI Guys! This NC group is great and I too had been on the NC rule for the past month until this past Wednesday (day before thanksgiving) when my ex decided to call and wish me and family a happy weekend. In this particular case, he left me a vm asking me to phone him back when I had the chance, I did, because I didn't want to be rude, and since then, he hasn't returned my call. He proceeded to text me on thanksgiving day, wishing me a happy turkey day. How does one handle such calls and text over the holiday season?? I feel that is mean to ignore them, as they only trying to be nice, rt. So what should i do, try my best to ignore, we didn't break up on bad terms and I don't want to seem petty and mean. Link to post Share on other sites
Chelle9203 Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 well we have been broken up for a little over 2 weeks...he was talking to me the next couple of days. Then after 5 of nothing i texted him and he called me. Now it has been a week without contact after he told me he would be sure to keep in touch, he didn't "realise" it had been so long. It is starting to get hard again but it is good to see so many other people in the same boat :-) I am not going to contact him.. Thanks... Link to post Share on other sites
music3000 Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 it`s been 3 days of NC for me its soo hard bc im trying to act like i don`t have any emotions about it but i really do and idk what to do ahh u think the 3rd time would be a charm but **** no! ughh no matter how hard i try i really do like him. i wish it wouldve just stayed at like and not have developed into love. its soo hard ughh the longest ive ever went was i think 3 wks. or maybe 2 but it seemed like enternity. he always seems to contact me after awhile no matter what i say to him. but we have been broken up for 4months. ahh im so sick of bombarding everyone with my problems but im hurt so bad. im glad i have my mommy i would go crazy w/o her and my best friend. maybe this time will be diff bc i told him why i couldnt talk to him anymore but who knows. ahh Link to post Share on other sites
Ash. Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 Tomorrow will be 1 month and two weeks no contact. The ex and I have been broken up almost 3 months. I have slipped twice by checking his Myspace. All I can say, as everyone has said before, is DON`T. Two days ago his Myspace told me that he indeed is dating a particular girl that I had a weird feeling about during the end of our relationship. Even when he assured me nothing was going on. No contact spares people the additional pain. And I`m suffering quite a bit enough as it is. Today I had a text message from an unknown number and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest thinking it was him...it turned out to be an old friend asking how I was. I just want to tell everyone else on here to be strong. I`m trying every second. I can`t wait to look back on this one day and feel at peace. Reading other peoples` experiences gives me hope that there is light at the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Dmoney28 Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 Today is day 1 of NC. the longest i have been was 6 days. She has said twice before she dosent want to keep contact. But she breaks her own rule. I pthe break up was 4 months ago. It dosent sting like day 1. Maybe i just gor indiffrent from the up and downs. But today is full NC. i will REFUSE to go back to 1, until she makes it clear what her intentions are, or im getting past my emotions. 3.5 years is so hard to get over. Link to post Share on other sites
crackerjax9 Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 this is our third big breakup.. weve only been dating for 6 months.. first time we broke up for like 3 days.. second time i did no contact for a week and he went crazy.. this time i broke up with him because hes just been acting up and showing me no respect... its been 3 days and it sucks cuz its christmas time he keeps texting me ...i really hope he goes crazy and realizes im a good person for him Link to post Share on other sites
FeedingOnFever Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 I'm starting to think that hardcore NC might be the best thing, too. I recently took to reading old things I wrote about him, as well as old things I wrote about older crushes. The ones about older crushes helped me to put things in perspective... I mean, I was convinced I was in love in the 9th grade and that my old crush was "the one," and look at me now. I NEVER think about that guy. This is admittedly very different though. This was my first and only boyfriend, a 3-year relationship, which ended very suddenly and painfully. So reading back on how in love I was with my ex right now isn't helping. It's hard because Facebook is evil. I keep in touch with my friends on there, but it keeps notifying me about people writing on his wall, etc. Even if I remove him as my friend it will still do that. So, I am actually considering axing my Facebook account for a while. He lived with me and I removed anything that reminded me of him to a spare room where I will hopefully never think of it until I am ready for those memories to be happy ones again. Day 3 after 2 weeks (I broke NC a lot). Trying to keep going strong. May strength be with all of us (this thread is a brilliant idea, by the way. I'm going to keep up with it.) Link to post Share on other sites
happy3some Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 NC is easiest when you think of all the negative things of that person constantly and keep yourself busy. find something to make you happy Link to post Share on other sites
lifesucks2 Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 i cant take it anyymore its waaayyyy too hard i never thought it would be that hard i really need a way to stop contacting him it's been a couple of days and i think i'm about to break nc, but i cant i dont wanna go back to square 1 ! How can i stop myself from contacting him ? Link to post Share on other sites
ATR Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 i cant take it anyymore its waaayyyy too hard i never thought it would be that hard i really need a way to stop contacting him it's been a couple of days and i think i'm about to break nc, but i cant i dont wanna go back to square 1 ! How can i stop myself from contacting him ? Delte him from EVERYTHING. Phone, email, msn etc etc etc:) I am 2weeks NC today. I still think about her every day. I have had a few good days, mostly bad... she just doen't care at all about those times we never shared. Link to post Share on other sites
starzphalling Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 bah, sucks not talking to him, though i will say the urge to contact him is getting less because my urge to be irritated that he hasn't contacted me is getting larger...i don't know...nc sux Link to post Share on other sites
trixy Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 This was the toughest Christmas ever. Even though my head and logic says that it is the best thing to, do I loved him so much (still do) and it hurts not to be with him. Every time I feel the urge to call I think about my son and the things he said and I am strong again. It is hard and wierdly it is getting harder, not easier, as time goes on. Now that I have stopped being so angry I am just very very sad. Link to post Share on other sites
moveon Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 It has been 8 weeks of n/c for me and I broke it during Christmas. Our last conversation ended with me promising not to call him and that he can have all his time to think about our relationship. Since the n/c started, he never contacted me, he didn't acknowledge my birthday. I sent him a email and a text to wish him Merry Christmas, he didn't respond, I was disappointed and heartbroken again, the painful feeling back to square one. I still think of him everyday, and still have the urge to call, email, text... but I will remind myself to stay strong as I don't want have the painful feeling all over again.... Link to post Share on other sites
jc Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Day 10. This is the longest I have went without contacting him at all (broke up end of November). It's weird to not have him in my life...but at the same time, I'm not really missing HIM anymore. I'm just missing having SOMEONE in my life to share things with and make plans with. I have lots of friends, but people are busy and have their own lives too. I'm trying to work on being okay with spending more time on my own as well, I think that's important for me. Part of me wants to call him so badly and say, "I love you, I miss you, why are we doing this?". But I know that there really is nothing left to say. And this is my chance to move on and start again. Link to post Share on other sites
tyty512 Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 NC is a very hard thing I am fighting right now I know its for the best but I can not manage to stay strong with it. We have been apart 3mnths and have only gone like a week here a week there with NC we both find ourselves breaking it. Circimstances are keeping us apart that he feels are beyond his control anymore(long story, have a short version posted) but the lack of control for either of us to have NC is proving to me we both still love eachother. THIS IS VERY HARD and I am not very good at it. Link to post Share on other sites
belladonna Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 bah, sucks not talking to him, though i will say the urge to contact him is getting less because my urge to be irritated that he hasn't contacted me is getting larger...i don't know...nc sux Same with me. It's starting to piss me off that he hasn't tried to contact me. I briefly exchanged texts with him on new years but he didn't seem interested in what I was up to at all. I told him to call me sometime to just hang out as friends but I'm getting antsy waiting for him to do that. I have to realize he's not pining for me and is perfectly happy on his own. I never had high expectations from that relationship but I didn't think it would end in such a dumb way. Argh Link to post Share on other sites
Bella Jordan Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 belladonna - I'm right there with you. My fiance and I got into a huge fight Friday a week ago. He text me the next day that he was furious, drunk dialed me the next day, then text the next day to say he wanted some NC time so he "just get over it." Whether he means the argument or the relationship/engagement, I have no idea. It's been 5 days and it's killing me. I know he's got a lot going on in his life right now, but I can't stay in limbo. Like you, I'm actually becoming angry that he hasn't contacted me. I guess he's just not ready and am hoping that he hasn't opted to never contact me again. I mean, we WERE engaged after all. Link to post Share on other sites
tyty512 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 yeah it's understandable. it was just 2 days after I told him I wanted go NC and 1 week after the fight. He always called if I was not calling him even if I had hurt him during argument. I started dating this guy and he adores me. he texts me everyday to check how I was doing and going to visit me next weekend. (it's a long distance). I should admit that I love all the attention I'm getting from this guy. He's cute, very successful and nice. (He seems like that... but I don't really know him yet) However, I can't stop thinking about my ex. weird thing is... I even feel like no... i'm convinced that we'll meet again and have a great relationship and eventually get married. this "break" is just a process of having us grow up to be better partners for each other. (I know it's crazy... but I have no idea why i have this definite feeling) my ex started his internship 4-5 hours away from our school. He must be meeting alot of people including girls. maybe he started dating too. but I wish he's missing me and wondering how i was doing. Is there anybody who had this kinda feeling? no matter how bad the situation is, you still have a strong faith that s/he's the one and eventually met him again and get married? Maybe, I'm just going thru momentary insanity after the breakup. Give me some support plz. I'll pray for all of you who are going thru pain. :bunny::bunny::bunny: I feel the same way about the whole getting back to eachother thing its the exact thing I keep saying about my relationship. Its a feeling that overpowers everything I do and think about so no your not alone. And maybe it is just a "moment of insanity" but for now I am holding on to hope that it one day some day will happen for me and my ex and Ill hope it for you too. Link to post Share on other sites
crackerjax9 Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 this is like my fourth time doing no contact day 1... i dont think i ever went past a week.. i dont think im strong enough for it...i just would always miss him and the second hed beg me to talk in person id take it and believe that he changed...aah hate this Link to post Share on other sites
d2darow Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 I checked my last post here, and it was dated 31st October. This means, since then till today, I have been on NC, and have managed to push thoughts of my ex completely out of my head. How? I know it's hard. It IS friggin hard. First, delete ALL means of communication with her/him. Secondly, try dating other people. You don't have to get into another relationship, just focus on someone else. Thirdly, keep yourself busy. Set new goals, e.g. learn an instrument, work out, get a job... Do things that you never had the chance to do while you were with your ex. Fourthly, if friends/family bring her/him up, tell them you'd appreciate it if there was no mention of that person anymore. At all. Fifthly, now.. this is something I have not done yet. Throw everything away that reminds you of that person. I have a huge paper bag filled with ****... Pictures, letters, poems etc. It's there, but I haven't thrown it out yet. Nor have I deleted all the pics of her from my hard disk. I don't know... These things have worked for me. Each time thoughts of the ex crawls in, just push it aside. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
katterskacy Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I just can't. I can't stop thinking of him and wanting to contacting him. I wish I could. He's such a liar and I know I'm better off without, but then I think of the good times and I want to cry. Link to post Share on other sites
confuseddd Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Hang in there y'all...when you fail with your NC promise, dust yourself off and get back on that horse! NEVER let the horse throw you off and leave you there! I've fallen off too, but now I am BACK to NC...I am very mad and disappointed in him so that makes it a little easier to do the NC thing. Maybe THIS time it will stick....When I start to get that weepy feeling to call him, I just remind myself of the things he said and implied in our last few conversations.... Oh well...ONWARD! Link to post Share on other sites
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