bigsadpanda Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Alright, So my gf broke up with me 6 months ago ending a year and half relationship, and I admit I reacted pretty badly... like depressive/ clingy and attempting to try to establish a friendship almost immediately afterwards. Eventually, I snapped out of it and so I just let it go and tried to move on for the past 4-5 months. Anyways, I'm back from college (living about a half hour away in dorm) for the summer and I just saw her at a social event. It was a little awkward at first, but we had some short conversation "how are you? what are you up to nowadays? etc. So...I ended up asking her if she had time for coffee or lunch sometime and she said yes, sometime next week As far as I know, she isn't seeing anyone And a part of me wants to try again with her, and the other doesn't know what to think. Say that I want to try again with her, how should I act around her when I see her the first time in a long time, next week? Link to post Share on other sites
BillClam Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Sounds like you're in a pickel then dude. All I've learned from scrolling these forums is that women seem very, very aprehensive about getting back together with relationships that didn't work out. But I'm also not a fan of all the "NC" topic here either, so I'd say try out coffee, or whatever, bring a friend, bring two friends if you have to. Just try and imagine a sound state of mind though. As in don't jump the shark immediately, in fact, make this like getting coffee with any other friend, because that's really all it should be at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
TrustInYourself Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Approach like a friend. Pretend disinterest. Have fun. Pimp yourself out before you go. Be a confident, untouchable prize she can never have. Hahaha...seriously you can't go wrong. Expect nothing from her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigsadpanda Posted July 1, 2008 Author Share Posted July 1, 2008 So I had coffee with my ex I found out that she just recently entered a relationship with another guy I have been told that "you can never be just friends with your ex" I believe that I am over her, but I feel like I will always feel a little something for her. There are 2 options that I'm thinking about, 1. if I want to be with her again, do I have to stay out of the "friend zone" ? I am thinking that it wouldn't be fair to me, her or her new boyfriend if I wanted to become "just friends" again. Should I just tell her "I care about you alot, always will, but we can't be friends, it wouldn't be fair or healthy for any of us" ? cause if I stay friends with her, isn't that letting her have her cake and eating it to? 2. Or, I try to preserve a good friendship and hope that she likes being around me more than the other guy ...what do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 I would go with Option 1. Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Option 1 without question. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigsadpanda Posted July 2, 2008 Author Share Posted July 2, 2008 So what should I say to her about what I want to happen? What does that make us? acquaintances? And when we run into each other because of mutual friends, how should I act? Link to post Share on other sites
TrustInYourself Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Hell no, you're not acquaintances. You're nothing. Act like a stranger. Say hi, be aloof. Pretend that she's your sister. Owned in the face is how you should treat her. Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Lol actually the 'you can never be friends with an ex' thing might be partially true, as my ex ended up chasin my round the kitchen table last night tryin to kiss me! lol! I genuinely thought we had a great 'just friends' thing goin on so was very surprised (tho I admit the chemistry was always good but I dont want anythin but friendship from him...I just dont think of him as a romantic match anymore!-the friendship is great tho) ...lol....it was a funny moment...he's lucky we such good freakin friends else he'd have got a serious slap for that Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 Lol actually the 'you can never be friends with an ex' thing might be partially true, as my ex ended up chasin my round the kitchen table last night tryin to kiss me! lol! I genuinely thought we had a great 'just friends' thing goin on so was very surprised (tho I admit the chemistry was always good but I dont want anythin but friendship from him...I just dont think of him as a romantic match anymore!-the friendship is great tho) ...lol....it was a funny moment...he's lucky we such good freakin friends else he'd have got a serious slap for that Sounds to me like he wants more and the friendship is a way to get it from you. The second he realizes you aren't going any further, he will walk away from the friendship. You can bank on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigsadpanda Posted July 3, 2008 Author Share Posted July 3, 2008 just curious, but what does NC stand for? from context I'm guessing it means not talking or something to that effect Link to post Share on other sites
tommiw Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 just curious, but what does NC stand for? from context I'm guessing it means not talking or something to that effect No contact Link to post Share on other sites
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