Stephanie Posted March 12, 2000 Share Posted March 12, 2000 I was with this guy last summer and he was three years older than me and I was still a virgin. We talked about having sex and i really was scared to do it but I did it anyway. Well two months later he dumped me. I took it really bad and was hurt really bad. I didn't date anyone after that. Now I'm dating someone that I knew for a year but have only been close friends with for about 8 months. We have only been dating a month. We have slept together and I took his virginity. For the past couple of weeks I have been fighting w/ him a lot for little things and I'm a lways really scared he is going to leave me. I told him how I feel but I don't think he really understands because he doesn't really say anything. I don't know what to do. Sometimes i feel like I want to break it off w/ him just so i don;'t have to put up w/ grtitng hurt again. I really care about him a lot and want to be w/ him but I can't handle gettign in a fight w/ him and being totally stressed all day thinking he is goign to call me back and say it's over. What should i do guys advice would be nice also thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 12, 2000 Share Posted March 12, 2000 If you have to take new relationships so seriously, take a vacation from them. You've been dating this guy a month, you took his virginity, and now you want him to stay with you forever. This is NOT the way it works. Wake up. What you have done is awakened this guy's appetite for women and he will have some wild oats to sew for a while. His having been a virgin and his inability to communicate with you says a lot about his inexperience in relationships. This is a man who has to grow emotionally before he can be devoted to a lady long term in a healthy relationship. Now, on the other hand, the fact that you are so insecure tells me you have some things to work on too. When you find the RIGHT person for yourself, you won't have these feelings. There will be absolutely no doubt in your mind that he is devoted to you and will be true to you. I am astounded at the number of people who just start daing somebody and expect so much from them that they don't have to give. Do yourself an favor and spend a weekend with yourself, replotting your love strategies. When doing so, think about the things you have to look for in your search for a relationship and develop the courage to leave when they aren't there!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Shirley Posted March 12, 2000 Share Posted March 12, 2000 I was with this guy last summer and he was three years older than me and I was still a virgin. We talked about having sex and i really was scared to do it but I did it anyway. Well two months later he dumped me. I took it really bad and was hurt really bad. I didn't date anyone after that. Now I'm dating someone that I knew for a year but have only been close friends with for about 8 months. We have only been dating a month. We have slept together and I took his virginity. For the past couple of weeks I have been fighting w/ him a lot for little things and I'm a lways really scared he is going to leave me. I told him how I feel but I don't think he really understands because he doesn't really say anything. I don't know what to do. Sometimes i feel like I want to break it off w/ him just so i don;'t have to put up w/ grtitng hurt again. I really care about him a lot and want to be w/ him but I can't handle gettign in a fight w/ him and being totally stressed all day thinking he is goign to call me back and say it's over. What should i do guys advice would be nice also thanks. Hi! You should just have fun dating him. Do you have a good time when you are with him? Don't limit yourself to just him. Dating is a time to go out and have fun. It isn't a time to worry about how he feels about you. If he doesn't want to be with you anymore, he will move on. Nothing you do will make him change the way he feels about you. Love is a feeling, not an action. Also, men and women have completely different ideas about sex. Sex and love are two different things, and men don't associate sex with love. But many women believe that sex and love go together. Link to post Share on other sites
Harold Emick Posted March 14, 2000 Share Posted March 14, 2000 Hi Stephanie, What we have here is failure to communicate, communication is a very important part of a relationship and without it, than the relationship is not going to work. (Question)= Does he know how to communicate? when there is anger between two people who care and or love each other, that anger can and will cloud their judgement, which in turn will cause things to be said that would be regretted later on. have you sat down with him and asked hin how he feels? have eather of you talked about the relationship? May I suggest that you both sit down and address this issue, such as feelings, goals, dreams,wants, needs, desires, find out how he feels about the relationship. let him know how you feel about it. two people who love each other need to find out everything about each other, emotions play a very important to, some people are more emotional than others, in relationships like this you both need to open up and express your feelings, by one person being open and the other just sitting there and not saying anything (whats wrong with this picture). leaves a big question mark???????? you both are very special in your own way, find out what special about him that you like, ask him what he finds special about you. then ask yourself and him is all this fighting worth over small and petty things worth loosing each other for. I'm not a pro, and i may be off course on this issue, but i don't think so. find out about each other because theres something missing. Link to post Share on other sites
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