Linux Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 So I have been messing with a few online dating sites for awhile and this is getting pretty dumb. I message a lot of women and I don't really expect replys back, which I don't get, so whatever. So I am noticing that the decent/average looking girls (i dont message the super hot girls) almost never respond to my emails, but every women actually contact me it's a fat woman. I have pictures posted on my profile, I am not fat or even overweight in the slightest. I state in my profile that I work out everyday and keep in good shape and that the gym is an important part of my daily routine. Yet, tons of fat women keep contacting me. Now understand, I don't have anything against fat people. If you want to be fat, fine, thats your business, but I'm not going to date you. I don't consider it mean, but if I am going to take the time out to take care of my body and look attractive to my mate, I expect the same from my partner. Anyhow it's just very annoying that normal women don't give me the time of day yet the fat women do.
Sks Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Because your looking online and fat females have a better chance to meeting people online then in person? Its not that hard to understand.
Tony T Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 You'd be surprised at how many fat people, females in particular, are told all their lives by their parents how beautiful they are and THEY TRULY BELIEVE IT!!! Many of these overweight ladies who answer your ad think they are God's gift to the world. They don't understand they are unattractive to many men because so many of the people close to them have told them HOW GREAT THEY LOOK!!! It's tragic that families don't hand the truth straight out but many mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. in families are fat as hell too!
endlesstrains Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Like sks said, it's online dating... it's pretty much par for the course. Of course you only want to date people you are attracted to, but you seem to be pretty callous about "fat people." I doubt they WANT to be fat. I used to be pretty overweight myself and I didn't WANT to be-- I had a medical condition. As soon as I got on medication for it, I dropped ALL the extra pounds in a matter of months and I now have a normal body weight... fat people are people too you know...
fral945 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 You'd be surprised at how many fat people, females in particular, are told all their lives by their parents how beautiful they are and THEY TRULY BELIEVE IT!!! Many of these overweight ladies who answer your ad think they are God's gift to the world. They don't understand they are unattractive to many men because so many of the people close to them have told them HOW GREAT THEY LOOK!!! It's tragic that families don't hand the truth straight out but many mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. in families are fat as hell too! Tony's right on the money. I'm like you, I stay in shape and I don't normally date women who have major weight issues. Though I dated a girl online once who was fat. We went to a bar and she was constantly commenting about the men staring at her and how she knew they all wanted her. She had quite a high opinion of herself. I was laughing to myself the whole night. Confidence about your weight is good if you are a healthy weight. But not when you're overweight. Overweight people shouldn't be happy or confident with their bodies. I wasn't when I was overweight. Normal women don't have to give you the time of day online because they're getting hundreds of messages from other men. They can cherry pick and wait for the men to pursue, just like in real life. Doesn't mean they're getting men better than you. They just like the men to do the work, and they know they don't have to.
Author Linux Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 Heh I guess I already knew all that, I was just venting a bit.
D-Lish Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Weren't you just complaining about the amount of women that want a taller guy?
Author Linux Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 Weren't you just complaining about the amount of women that want a taller guy? Please don't tell me you don't see a difference about complaining about weight and height. One is pure genetics, one you can control.
J2FT1 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Please don't tell me you don't see a difference about complaining about weight and height. One is pure genetics, one you can control. Actually , both has to do with genetics and both you can help change. There is a so called "fat" gene that makes it easier for some people to gain weight than others. Nutrition, environment, health are factors that affect physical growth.
Author Linux Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 Actually , both has to do with genetics and both you can help change. There is a so called "fat" gene that makes it easier for some people to gain weight than others. Nutrition, environment, health are factors that affect physical growth. Sorry, bull****. Yes I know there are certain things that can make you overweight like certain drug perscriptions and such, those are the exception and doesn't account for the vast majority of fat people. Most people are fat because they don't eat responsibly and don't excericse. The people in this situation have the option of working to get to a healthy weight by dieting and exercising. Height, on the other hand, is something you cannot change once you reach adult hood. Your height is determined by genetics, and yes there is *some* environmental factor for your height but this is not something you choose when you are a kid (you are forced to eat/live with your parents, you don't have control). And one you get to be an adult, you are done. You can't excerise your way into increased height. There is a huge difference in your weight as an adult and your height as an adult.
D-Lish Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Please don't tell me you don't see a difference about complaining about weight and height. One is pure genetics, one you can control. I think what it comes down to is type and preference. You may look at fat women and think- "wow, I'd never date an overweight girl".... and some women would look at a guy's height and think "wow, he's too short, I wouldn't date him". Even overweight people will think that way about height. It doesn't matter if a person can control their height or weight- preference is what matters. Someone may not be able to control their height- so does that mean people will take that into consideration??? Oh, he can't control it so I will overlook my preference... Of course there is a difference between what we can and cannot control... but that isn't what this is about. It's not about judgement either... only type preference. You're entitled to want a thinner woman who goes to the gym- fitness is important to you! But, by the same standards- a woman is entitled to want what she wants too... whatever that might be.
Author Linux Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 I think what it comes down to is type and preference. You may look at fat women and think- "wow, I'd never date an overweight girl".... and some women would look at a guy's height and think "wow, he's too short, I wouldn't date him". Even overweight people will think that way about height. It doesn't matter if a person can control their height or weight- preference is what matters. Someone may not be able to control their height- so does that mean people will take that into consideration??? Oh, he can't control it so I will overlook my preference... Of course there is a difference between what we can and cannot control... but that isn't what this is about. It's not about judgement either... only type preference. You're entitled to want a thinner woman who goes to the gym- fitness is important to you! But, by the same standards- a woman is entitled to want what she wants too... whatever that might be. Ok you are arguing that people have the right to have preferences, I never argued against this so ok we'll agree on this. All I will say is that in my opinion some preference have more validity than others. For example, I 5'2 woman requiring her guy be at least 6" IMHO is ridiculous, but she has her right to her preferences. A thin, in shape woman who takes care of her appearance requiring her guy to also be in shapre and take care of his appearance is a lot more legitimate IMHO. Again, this is in my opinion.
J2FT1 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Sorry, bull****. Yes I know there are certain things that can make you overweight like certain drug perscriptions and such, those are the exception and doesn't account for the vast majority of fat people. Most people are fat because they don't eat responsibly and don't excericse. The people in this situation have the option of working to get to a healthy weight by dieting and exercising. Height, on the other hand, is something you cannot change once you reach adult hood. Your height is determined by genetics, and yes there is *some* environmental factor for your height but this is not something you choose when you are a kid (you are forced to eat/live with your parents, you don't have control). And one you get to be an adult, you are done. You can't excerise your way into increased height. There is a huge difference in your weight as an adult and your height as an adult. Educate yourself. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/health/article1647517.ece I somewhat agree with your post on height but all I was saying was that it IS possible for your height to change from what gentics intended it to be. And males typically finish growing around their early 20's, so there's many things you can do in your teenage years to help your growth.
allina Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Why don't you message the really hot women? Do you only message women that you consider within your league? The women who message you likely consider you within their league. You may be in good shape but do you have other desirable traits?
imbewildered Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Heh I guess I already knew all that, I was just venting a bit. According to a recent study from the University of Reality, there is conclusive evidence that obesity is cause by the compulsive and uncontrolled eating of foods which promote weight gain. Wow ! Who would have thought THAT ?. Cant talk more now, I got to hit the gym after I get a supersize Mc.
Shygirl15 Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Anyhow it's just very annoying that normal women don't give me the time of day yet the fat women do. Maybe because you're short. (or average as you claim). Good ones like tall guys. Sorry for that, just being honest.
SugarKiss Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Why don't you message the really hot women? Do you only message women that you consider within your league? The women who message you likely consider you within their league. You may be in good shape but do you have other desirable traits? I second that exactly. I was also going to say that those women must find you approachable, something in your profile makes them think you would be a possible match for them. either that or you have superposed your head in your pictures with a photo of a cheese burger.
imbewildered Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Sorry, bull****. Yes I know there are certain things that can make you overweight like certain drug perscriptions and such, those are the exception and doesn't account for the vast majority of fat people. Most people are fat because they don't eat responsibly and don't excericse. The people in this situation have the option of working to get to a healthy weight by dieting and exercising. Height, on the other hand, is something you cannot change once you reach adult hood. Your height is determined by genetics, and yes there is *some* environmental factor for your height but this is not something you choose when you are a kid (you are forced to eat/live with your parents, you don't have control). And one you get to be an adult, you are done. You can't excerise your way into increased height. There is a huge difference in your weight as an adult and your height as an adult. Stop making so much damn SENSE -you are gonna scare the chubsters here. Anyway I guess that you (and I ) are not really overwhelmed by women's "inner beauty".. does that make us shallow and uncaring ? Yes it does, and it makes me proud.
D-Lish Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 All I will say is that in my opinion some preference have more validity than others. But preference isn't about validity. None of us can pick and choose what we find attractive- regardless of whether or not the other person can control their attributes- ya know?
Balthazar Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 You say you are in good shape, which I will take to mean you are large and muscular. If this is the case, maybe these overweight women feel a stronger man is needed to handle their extra weight. I kid thee not, I actually had a larger lady tell me this once.
D-Jam Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Anyhow it's just very annoying that normal women don't give me the time of day yet the fat women do. You need to bear in mind that on a dating site, very pretty girls are mobbed with emails on a daily basis. Most of the reason is many guys just look at photos and send winks or random emails to anything they think is hot. Even more average looking women get a lot of attention on these sites. Remember on most sites the men outnumber the women greatly, so you're facing a lot of competition. The larger set women aren't getting flooded with emails, so they have to be proactive. The pretty girls and the average looking women more will just go their inbox when thinking in terms of potential men. Hence why a lot of guys email them regardless if they have a shot. They know she'll be hitting her inbox before hitting search. With the larger women, as I said they aren't getting the massive amounts of emails that the thinner women get, so they have to be proactive. They're out emailing guys they like, and basically knowing there's a good chance the guy will not answer, but the offhand possibility that he might. I also believe they are emailing all sorts of guys of all weights. MY SUGGESTION...If you live a healthy lifestyle and your interests/hobbies involve exercise, talk about those in your profile. Even mention in the "what I want" part that you like women who are into athletics or health and fitness. It's a good way to make your underlying statement on body type without sounding cold or shallow, because even some thinner women you might want could be turned off on any statement that says "NO FAT CHICKS!" Some women will see that you're very hardcore about physical appearance and wonder if in the long term you would drop her if she gained a few pounds or aged. If you can't play off on the healthy lifestyle thing, then just be polite and be honest. When a woman you are not into emails you, just reply back politely but if she's pushing for you to date her, just say you're not interested. Adult men and women can handle polite rejections, and there is no crime in a man or woman politely rejecting someone online.
Cov Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Weren't you just complaining about the amount of women that want a taller guy? His excuse is great, too. What's wrong with a fat girls? I had sex with a chubby girl and it was the best sex I've ever had, she worked so hard and her enthusiasm was engulfing.
shadowplay Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Tony's right on the money. I'm like you, I stay in shape and I don't normally date women who have major weight issues. Though I dated a girl online once who was fat. We went to a bar and she was constantly commenting about the men staring at her and how she knew they all wanted her. She had quite a high opinion of herself. I was laughing to myself the whole night. Confidence about your weight is good if you are a healthy weight. But not when you're overweight. Overweight people shouldn't be happy or confident with their bodies. I wasn't when I was overweight. I disagree. I mean, they should be concerned for health reasons but why should they feel unattractive? If they used society's standards as a mirror for their self confidence, they would be miserable all the time. What's so about about them feeling good about themselves, even if doesn't reflect the opinions of others? There are some people who have no control over their weight for medical reasons. Also, many overweight people have a genetic predisposition to being overweight. Obesity isn't always the result of laziness.
shadowplay Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 Maybe you don't have an attractive face, or something else in your profile is turning women off. You can't be an objective judge of yourself. If you're so concerned why don't you post a link to your profile and we can tell you what we think? I find your post to be a bit crass and nasty.
shadowplay Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 I think what it comes down to is type and preference. You may look at fat women and think- "wow, I'd never date an overweight girl".... and some women would look at a guy's height and think "wow, he's too short, I wouldn't date him". Even overweight people will think that way about height. It doesn't matter if a person can control their height or weight- preference is what matters. Someone may not be able to control their height- so does that mean people will take that into consideration??? Oh, he can't control it so I will overlook my preference... Of course there is a difference between what we can and cannot control... but that isn't what this is about. It's not about judgement either... only type preference. You're entitled to want a thinner woman who goes to the gym- fitness is important to you! But, by the same standards- a woman is entitled to want what she wants too... whatever that might be. I agree. It irks me when people use the "fat people are lazy" generalization in a lame attempt to disguise their superficiality. People need to own up to their preferences. If a girl was born with some physical deformity they wouldn't be any less ruthless about rejecting her because she was born that way.
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