I'm in love with my MM

[OpenBook]

To soda:

 

Are you a male or female? Are you the cheater or the cheated on? I think you are totally wrong about "he isn't that into me" Can you imagine your spouse telling you that you will be screwed financially after 24 yrs of marriage & getting your kids involved?? Them saying they will never talk to you again if you are with this person. That would scare the crap out of you & you would try to make a go of it with your spouse b/c of this. Wouldn't you? My MM is not a habitual cheater & is not a player. He is scared enough to not take the risk with me and change his entire life. I can see this to a point, but at the same time I can't understand why if he is so in love with me & thinks about me every day why he wouldn't just take the chance. My situation is a little different b/c my son is almost 6 yrs old. So he is young enough to not judge the situation so much. Neither of us were really looking for an affair & he was not looking for the orgasm. His wife can do that. Come on, think about what you are saying here. How do you know that this other person is not your soulmate? Just b/c it is an affair & secret that it doesn't mean that this isn't the person you should be with?? He & I know that we are meant to be together, but it won't happen b/c of history & complications. I would leave my husband if he would make the move, but I am not going to be hasty for no reason. I would really love to fall back in love with my husband & forget about all of this. That is where I stand.

 

I think your fear of ending up alone is muddling your thinking, both with your H and with your MM. "I would leave my husband if he would make the move, but I am not going to be hasty for no reason"?? WTF?!? Is this some sort of Mexican standoff with your MM? He won't leave his own M, therefore you're not going to leave yours either?

 

And just because you have intense feelings for your MM, doesn't mean that you are soulmates who are "meant" to be together.

 

And just because he's saying sweet words to you, doesn't mean that it's true love. (Newsflash: Men lie!!)

 

I think you're assuming way too much about both men in your life.

[soda]

To soda:

 

Are you a male or female?

 

Yes.

 

I think you are totally wrong about "he isn't that into me" Can you imagine your spouse telling you that you will be screwed financially after 24 yrs of marriage & getting your kids involved??

 

She wouldn't have to "tell me." OM knew this from the beginning, too, which is why he NEVER intended to divorce his wife. He was BSing you.

 

He is scared enough to not take the risk with me and change his entire life.

 

Yes. You proved my point. He really is NOT THAT INTO YOU.

 

I can see this to a point, but at the same time I can't understand why if he is so in love with me & thinks about me every day why he wouldn't just take the chance.

 

Because he loved the fantasy life you had...not what you'd have when reality sets in.

 

Come on, think about what you are saying here. How do you know that this other person is not your soulmate? Just b/c it is an affair & secret that it doesn't mean that this isn't the person you should be with??

 

Okay...but he's chosen NOT to be with you. He doesn't see you as a soulmate.

 

I would leave my husband if he would make the move, but I am not going to be hasty for no reason.

 

I hope that your husband gains the insight to encourage your haste. You don't seem to be much of a wife. You're staying with your husband for what reason again?

 

I would really love to fall back in love with my husband & forget about all of this. That is where I stand.

 

That will never happen as long as you're pining over the OM.

[Agent_99]

Oh my gosh, did you guys not read my original posts? SO "dark n romantic" (nice title) do you think I am bashing my husband to my son? Do you think someone should just go through life miserable just for the kids? I would never dream of taking my son from my husband. He is a great father. The bottom line is the MM is a scared pussy, so he is going to live a life of "content" maybe. Or a life where his wife is constantly nagging him about what he is doing (which is going on right now). But yes, this is what he chose. He chose his boring wife over me, which he was content with before being with me. REMEMBER, I know this because of our long history together, not just what he is telling me. He is already getting sick of her nagging him about every step & every thing he is doing. I hope by then, I will be totally over him & he will still want me. Then I can say "**** you!" ANd for the millionth time, I know my H doesn't deserve this. YOU CAN NOT DENY WHAT THE HEART WANTS. Obviously my heart wants more than his. This is probably my last post. I am tired of being abused by my husband & some of your posts. It really seems like no one understands where I am coming from. He says he thinks about me every day & of course I do too. The bottom line is that it is financial security & love doesn't prevail. I disagree, but I can see that to a certain point. My love is stronger than his & it is wearing me out. Right now, I am going to focus on my H & son & try my hardest to forget about him.

 

Shellz~

 

While my situation is different there are some similarities. I was in an emotionally abusive marriage when I met my MW. I ended my marriage for me though, not to be with her. My XH is a wonderful father and continues to be. We have actually become great friends now. I just want to say that 'those' feelings don't often come back once they are gone. Your H is probably using his anger to push you away and protect his heart.

 

As to your MM, sounds similar to my MW. I recently asked her to leave her partner of 9 years. She is too afraid to, it would ruin her financially and she worries that her son would resent her for it. BUT her P is emotionally abusive to both of them. (I have witnesses episodes with the partner and the kids) It IS abuse. but my MW is a coward. Even still I love her with all my heart, but for my own sanity and happiness I HAVE to figure out a way to leave her. (We haven't ended the A) I'm driving myself crazy wanting more with someone who just plain can't make the decision to be with me and be happy.

 

~99

I hope this helps.

[angie2443]

[quote=OWoman;1750455

 

 

I hope this poor woman got the therapy she needed. I'm not sure what your point was in posting this but it made me think of the "scandal" someone else posted about on another thread with the firefighters? I was thinking perhaps the army or whatever her "war hero" husband belonged to should have done something similar so she could be getting her rocks off instead of sitting talking to herself and a pile of bones like some faded Ms Havesham.

 

Actually, in some societies it is a tradition for relatives, husbands, wives, etc. to visit the graves of their loved ones and have lunch there. I don't remember the show I was watching where they talked about this or I'd mention it. I don't know about the woman that Soda is talking about, but she may have been just following tradition.

[Mino]

She won't. She has stated she's not prepared to jump ship unless she knows the MM is waiting down below with a life raft and MM won't be doing that as he prefers to stay on his own ship, leaking like a sieve though it may be.....

 

So this is what "true love" looks like huh ? Lord save me from that version.......

You said that very creatively:)

[Lookingforward]

You said that very creatively:)

 

I have my moments

[Mino]

It seems to me that most of these replies are coming from people who have been cheated on. Otherwise there wouldn't be so much nastiness. Why are you saying that he used me? Why didn't I use him? Why is it always the man that uses the woman? The woman in all these cases is always the whore & the bad guy (in the eyes of the cheated on). The man plays an equal part. I talked to him recently & he told me that basically what happened was that when d-day happened, he was shocked how his teenage kids reacted. Plus she would **** him over financially big time & he can retire in 5 yrs. So he is staying with what he knows is secure. He is trying to make a go of it, even though he said he thinks about me every single day & misses me. The relationship (affair) did mean a lot to him & I mean a lot to him. He is scared of the financial issues big time & I am a risk. He isn't a player, & this wasn't planned out this way. He made a huge mistake calling my home with the secret phone. It wasn't planned. We did not want to get found about. We were not ready for this to happen. He told me that he eventually told her he had feelings for me & she knew this anyway. After my recent conversation with the MM, I get the impression that he is kind of waiting it out to see what transpires. I am not using my H, I am hoping that time will heal & I will get feelings back for him. AND lose those feelings for the MM. In the meantime, all the verbal torture he is putting me through is not helping. I know I am contradicting my words. I am so confused & depressed. I definitely feel terrible about how my H feels. I know I am hurting him. But once you sell your house & divorce, that's it. It isn't as easy as some of you are making out to sound. People are also telling the MM how horrible divorce is. There is so much involved in this. Especially when you have a wonderful, little nearly 6 yr old involved. I don't want to ruin him. I am trying to forget, but I can't. Doesn't anyone understand this? I truly believe that the MM & I were meant to be together & he does too. The rub is that I am willing to take the chance & do it & he isn't.

Hi Shellez,, i am not a bS, I am a OW.... I do have to agree... Your mm chose to return to his M, for whatever reason. It was his choice... But I find it appalling that you would stay in your m since you do not love your h... I have been a single mom for over 20 years. Why would you stay, so you don't have to get a job? So you can continue sitting on your A**, letting your H support you? You do not only not love him, you sound as though you have hatred in your heart for him.. What you are doing to him is torture... Put on your big girl panties and get that behind off the couch... get a job, get some self confidence and make a life for yourself... Give your H his life back and let him go. Let him find a love that he deserves... I would even go so far and say to you, you should leave with only your personal stuff... You dont deserve half of his retirement account, half of the house and half of anything eles... What in Gods name makes you think you derseve any of these things? Did you work for them... Or is it just for the fact that you were married to him? Just think it was a privelge to enjoy these luxuries while you were in the M... But there after, you are not entitled. Enough said, get packing and give this man some respect if you ever in your life cared for him...dont hold him hostage...

[Shellz]

To soda:

 

Are you a male or female?

 

Yes.

 

I think you are totally wrong about "he isn't that into me" Can you imagine your spouse telling you that you will be screwed financially after 24 yrs of marriage & getting your kids involved??

 

She wouldn't have to "tell me." OM knew this from the beginning, too, which is why he NEVER intended to divorce his wife. He was BSing you.

 

He is scared enough to not take the risk with me and change his entire life.

 

Yes. You proved my point. He really is NOT THAT INTO YOU.

 

I can see this to a point, but at the same time I can't understand why if he is so in love with me & thinks about me every day why he wouldn't just take the chance.

 

Because he loved the fantasy life you had...not what you'd have when reality sets in.

 

Come on, think about what you are saying here. How do you know that this other person is not your soulmate? Just b/c it is an affair & secret that it doesn't mean that this isn't the person you should be with??

 

Okay...but he's chosen NOT to be with you. He doesn't see you as a soulmate.

 

I would leave my husband if he would make the move, but I am not going to be hasty for no reason.

 

I hope that your husband gains the insight to encourage your haste. You don't seem to be much of a wife. You're staying with your husband for what reason again?

 

I would really love to fall back in love with my husband & forget about all of this. That is where I stand.

 

That will never happen as long as you're pining over the OM.

 

 

Soda: I am sorry, but what you are saying is completely wrong in my case. We talked all the time about spending our lives together, but there was a lot of preparation in order to do this. We got caught way too early & there was no way to prepare at that point. Why is it that "he was in a fantasy" and not me? This is just complete bull****!! He was clearly sick of his life, but when it came down to money, he got scared. Now he will live a life of misery & smothering. No matter what you say, he wasn't bull****ing me. I don't know what you have been through, but I know this person deeply for many years. I am not a stupid person, & can judge people pretty well. That is not him.

[whichwayisup]

This man has lied, cheated and betayed his wife. His whole family...Please don't think that he isn't capable of lying to you.

 

You don't know if his life will turn out that way. Maybe he'll try to fix his marriage for the sake of his children.

 

People make choices and live with them. Make your choice. Do you want to be in a happier marriage?

[NoIDidn't]

He WAS in a fantasy, but you still are it seems.

 

You both talked about spending your lives together at a later date, but that isn't going to happen. He is staying married, for whatever reason, but you are still trying to figure out what is going on.

 

The A is over. He is staying married. What about you?

 

When you guys were talking, maybe he was just dreaming out loud and you made the mistake of taking him seriously.

 

Whether you stay or divorce your H, I disagree that you don't deserve half of everything. You are his W. Whether you worked or not, you provided a level of partnership that allowed him (and the two of you) to amass those things. Just because his social security number or name or whatever is the only on the check stub, doesn't make it only his to keep. But I am sure that you already know that.

 

I wish someone would try to tell me that because I am not working that I don't deserve a portion of my H's earnings. My H would too. As he recognizes that I contribute to our household everyday just as much, if not more, than he does by being home with our children.

 

Now, back to the topic at hand: Your A didn't last that long, why are you still hung up on it?

[Shellz]

Hi Shellez,, i am not a bS, I am a OW.... I do have to agree... Your mm chose to return to his M, for whatever reason. It was his choice... But I find it appalling that you would stay in your m since you do not love your h... I have been a single mom for over 20 years. Why would you stay, so you don't have to get a job? So you can continue sitting on your A**, letting your H support you? You do not only not love him, you sound as though you have hatred in your heart for him.. What you are doing to him is torture... Put on your big girl panties and get that behind off the couch... get a job, get some self confidence and make a life for yourself... Give your H his life back and let him go. Let him find a love that he deserves... I would even go so far and say to you, you should leave with only your personal stuff... You dont deserve half of his retirement account, half of the house and half of anything eles... What in Gods name makes you think you derseve any of these things? Did you work for them... Or is it just for the fact that you were married to him? Just think it was a privelge to enjoy these luxuries while you were in the M... But there after, you are not entitled. Enough said, get packing and give this man some respect if you ever in your life cared for him...dont hold him hostage...

 

You really do not know completely what you are talking about here. I am not sitting on my ass! I am an Avon rep & a dog walker. I am also a licensed optician. So I am always busy & raising a 6 yr old son. No, I do not want to have to get a 9-5 job & be separated from my son, but that is not the primary reason I am staying in my marriage. When I had my son, we agreed that I would be a stay at home Mom. I did that for several years. My affair was only 6 months. So that automatically excludes me from what I am entitled to?? I worked the whole time I was married until my son was born.. I do love my husband!! I am not holding him hostage. I love being with him, I just see it as more of a best friend situation with sex. I hope that with time I will get over this & get feelings back. I just see things differently now after the affair. If you were an OW, how can you not get that? WHY AM I NOT ENTITLED TO HALF OF EVERYTHING?? JUST B/C I HAD A 6 MONTH AFFAIR? Maybe you should get your big girl panties on and do some thinking and analyzing of your life as well.

[Shellz]

He WAS in a fantasy, but you still are it seems.

 

You both talked about spending your lives together at a later date, but that isn't going to happen. He is staying married, for whatever reason, but you are still trying to figure out what is going on.

 

The A is over. He is staying married. What about you?

 

When you guys were talking, maybe he was just dreaming out loud and you made the mistake of taking him seriously.

 

Whether you stay or divorce your H, I disagree that you don't deserve half of everything. You are his W. Whether you worked or not, you provided a level of partnership that allowed him (and the two of you) to amass those things. Just because his social security number or name or whatever is the only on the check stub, doesn't make it only his to keep. But I am sure that you already know that.

 

I wish someone would try to tell me that because I am not working that I don't deserve a portion of my H's earnings. My H would too. As he recognizes that I contribute to our household everyday just as much, if not more, than he does by being home with our children.

 

Now, back to the topic at hand: Your A didn't last that long, why are you still hung up on it?

 

 

Again, I don't know why you are saying that he was in a "fantasy". Just b/c he isn't on here posting stuff like I am makes it that. He isn't allowed to take a crap without her watching him. So he isn't going to do anything. Why wasn't I in a fantasy??? B/c it wasn't like that. We were both going crazy not being together. The bottom line is that I was hoping for some help here, but all I got was misconstrued bull**** & bashing, so I think I am done. I do appreciate you saying that I do deserve half of everything. I am still hung up on it, b/c I am totally in love with him & no matter what I say to myself I can't stop. I don't want to be this way. I am miserable!!

[Chrome Barracuda]

What you want shellz is validation for having an affair with a married man. That isnt right. He isnt leaving his wife so you lost. The game is over.

 

And what happens when he becomes yours and later on down the line cheats on you as well. Then what you would have left a possibly good man, ruined your family, broken up your sons home over an emotional falliacy.

 

The affair is wrong admit it and own it.

 

When you got married if your husband first cheated on you how would you have felt betrayed, used, deceived? I mean in the end the choice rests on your sholders. Youve been in this mind affair for a long time. It's only a matter of time before your husband does find out the truth and then the endgame begins. You'll be without your H or the OM. Then are you still gonna be chasing that affair high like an addict.

 

How do you rationalize that?

[bentnotbroken]

You really do not know completely what you are talking about here. I am not sitting on my ass! I am an Avon rep & a dog walker. I am also a licensed optician. So I am always busy & raising a 6 yr old son. No, I do not want to have to get a 9-5 job & be separated from my son, but that is not the primary reason I am staying in my marriage. When I had my son, we agreed that I would be a stay at home Mom. I did that for several years. My affair was only 6 months. So that automatically excludes me from what I am entitled to?? I worked the whole time I was married until my son was born.. I do love my husband!! I am not holding him hostage. I love being with him, I just see it as more of a best friend situation with sex. I hope that with time I will get over this & get feelings back. I just see things differently now after the affair. If you were an OW, how can you not get that? WHY AM I NOT ENTITLED TO HALF OF EVERYTHING?? JUST B/C I HAD A 6 MONTH AFFAIR? Maybe you should get your big girl panties on and do some thinking and analyzing of your life as well.

 

 

In essence you are holding him hostage. He doesn't have all the facts in order to make an informed decision about HIS life. You are holding him and his choices hostage.

[NoIDidn't]

Again, I don't know why you are saying that he was in a "fantasy". Just b/c he isn't on here posting stuff like I am makes it that. He isn't allowed to take a crap without her watching him. So he isn't going to do anything. Why wasn't I in a fantasy??? B/c it wasn't like that. We were both going crazy not being together. The bottom line is that I was hoping for some help here, but all I got was misconstrued bull**** & bashing, so I think I am done. I do appreciate you saying that I do deserve half of everything. I am still hung up on it, b/c I am totally in love with him & no matter what I say to myself I can't stop. I don't want to be this way. I am miserable!!

 

Read the bolded part.

 

I did say he WAS in a fantasy but if you were paying attention to what you read, you would see that I also said that YOU STILL ARE in that fantasy. Just because I didn't type the word *fantasy* twice doesn't mean that I forgot about you.

 

Its not about whether or not he is here typing. The thing is he isn't contacting you as much as he is trying to mend things at home. Whatever his reasons, he's not with you. You are still very much under the influence of the affair feelings and not being fair to your H.

 

I don't think you need to cut him lose *your husband*, but I do think you need to work on getting your head out of the clouds so you can begin thinking rationally again. Everyone can tell you aren't thinking right because you get defensive when no defense is warranted.

 

No one is saying, ha, ha he doesn't want you. We are saying, pay attention, its over, he made his choice, the only place you can occupy right now is OW and not W. He already has and intends to keep her for now. How is that insulting or bashing.

 

Just because one can type the word bashing, doesn't make it so.

[luvmy2ns]

I am totally in love with him & no matter what I say to myself I can't stop.

Yes, you can. It just takes time and a willingness to stop wallowing in the entire situation. You need to focus on your friends and family.

 

I don't want to be this way. I am miserable!!

 

Of course you don't want to be this way! Who would? It will end. You just have to be patient.

 

The one thing you need to decide and quickly is whether you can or want to have a real relationship with your H again. If you cannot or do not want to, then you have to cut the poor guy loose. It's the only right thing left to do here.

[whichwayisup]

I am totally in love with him & no matter what I say to myself I can't stop.

Then seek counselling to help you get over this. People can do anything if they put their minds to it. Luv is right, if you want to be with your husband again, reconnect with him and make your marriage work, you have no choice BUT to get the MM out of your blood and heal. If you don't try, then yes, you'll be miserable for a long time..

[Mino]

You really do not know completely what you are talking about here. I am not sitting on my ass! I am an Avon rep & a dog walker. I am also a licensed optician. So I am always busy & raising a 6 yr old son. No, I do not want to have to get a 9-5 job & be separated from my son, but that is not the primary reason I am staying in my marriage. When I had my son, we agreed that I would be a stay at home Mom. I did that for several years. My affair was only 6 months. So that automatically excludes me from what I am entitled to?? I worked the whole time I was married until my son was born.. I do love my husband!! I am not holding him hostage. I love being with him, I just see it as more of a best friend situation with sex. I hope that with time I will get over this & get feelings back. I just see things differently now after the affair. If you were an OW, how can you not get that? WHY AM I NOT ENTITLED TO HALF OF EVERYTHING?? JUST B/C I HAD A 6 MONTH AFFAIR? Maybe you should get your big girl panties on and do some thinking and analyzing of your life as well.

The reason I wrote what I did is because you said you would stay with H if your mm does not leave his w... So whats that mean... You rather be with mm right? Husband is merely second choice. You may love your H like a brother because he is a good provider, good father, good man. But at the end of the day , you do not love him like he deserves to be loved. And only because om went back home are you wanting to stay, out of financial security... To me, sweetie, that is USING somebody...Now if you said you woke up and you relilized that you do love your H like lover should, that would be a different story... I would wish you the best of luck working this out... To me, the fair thing to do with the M, is divorce.. Its not fair to your H to be used as billpayer to give your financial security. Your son is 6... He is in school... You could afford to work a 8-4 job very easily. Many single moms do it everyday... Dogwalker, avon lady......???? I said job/career, you know one that could actually pay bills, not a few buck for shopping money... Ok, so maybe I was a bit harsh on the retirement account... that depends how long you were married, I guess... But at the end, you are the one who wanted out...i guess I willl never understand the US laws for that one.... sorry... I believe in prenups.... i would hate to pay for the rest of my life for a mistake... anyway, I do have my big girl panties on:p I support myself and put a daughter through college, payed 100,000 out of my own pocket for school, no goverment help, or loans here. Its just not right what your doing to your H.... and continuing to mooch off of him till his last breath is even more wrong, since you are no longer IN LOVE WITH HIM AND WOULD DUMP HIM IF OM WERE WAITING AROUND THE CORNER WITH THE GETAWAY CAR!!!! Thts all !

[GreenEyedLady]

Again, I don't know why you are saying that he was in a "fantasy". Just b/c he isn't on here posting stuff like I am makes it that. He isn't allowed to take a crap without her watching him. So he isn't going to do anything. Why wasn't I in a fantasy??? B/c it wasn't like that. We were both going crazy not being together. The bottom line is that I was hoping for some help here, but all I got was misconstrued bull**** & bashing, so I think I am done. I do appreciate you saying that I do deserve half of everything. I am still hung up on it, b/c I am totally in love with him & no matter what I say to myself I can't stop. I don't want to be this way. I am miserable!!

 

OP, I think this is why some posters are responding the way they are.

 

Because it's pretty apparent that you don't want to be with your H the way you want to be with your OM.

 

And that's sad.

[bentnotbroken]

OP, I think this is why some posters are responding the way they are.

 

Because it's pretty apparent that you don't want to be with your H the way you want to be with your OM.

 

And that's sad.

 

 

 

This is so true. Your H deserves to be with someone who respects and loves him, not someone who is lusting after another woman's H.

[Owl]

So...Shellz.

 

One question for you...and its an easy one.

 

If you could have this work out however YOU wanted it to work out...what would that look like? Where do you end up? OM? H? How does this work out for all of you, if you had the magic wand and could make this all suddenly have YOUR fairy tale ending?

[Mino]

So...Shellz.

 

One question for you...and its an easy one.

 

If you could have this work out however YOU wanted it to work out...what would that look like? Where do you end up? OM? H? How does this work out for all of you, if you had the magic wand and could make this all suddenly have YOUR fairy tale ending?

Owl, that is a VERY VERY good question... love to hear her reponse on that one.. Let me guess.. move with mm, take H to the cleaners, and live happily ever after, while MM, now H... supports her while she walks the dogs:o

[Shellz]

I would love to be with my MM. That would be my magical wand. My son will be in kindergarten in the a.m. That is not enough time to get a fulltime job. I do not want to take my H to the cleaners. He does not deserve that. You don't realize how much money you can bring in being a dog walker! This is not a fairy tale by any means. It is a nightmare, b/c our families are so close. It is not going to happen, so it doesn't matter. I still do love & respect my H, but he is making it harder & harder to feel those feelings again.

[Chrome Barracuda]

I would love to be with my MM. That would be my magical wand. My son will be in kindergarten in the a.m. That is not enough time to get a fulltime job. I do not want to take my H to the cleaners. He does not deserve that. You don't realize how much money you can bring in being a dog walker! This is not a fairy tale by any means. It is a nightmare, b/c our families are so close. It is not going to happen, so it doesn't matter. I still do love & respect my H, but he is making it harder & harder to feel those feelings again.

 

Well what do you expect your still pining after the OM and he subconsciously knows that. He's resentful and angry about having the OM's sloppy seconds and what man wouldnt be angry about that. I'd be pissed, and when it all boiled down to it if my wife couldnt recommit to the marriage I definitely would leave her. 90% of me would be leaning to that direction.

 

Thinking that what is the point of being married to someone if they desire someone else? they dont want me....

 

You need to wake up shellz. there's only so much a man could take from any woman ion the world. I dont think it mattered if you look like angelina jolie with jennifer lopez ass. brad pitt could definitely find a dime piece after. See what im saying. Guys dont tolerate alot of things. Your given a chance and your ruining it.

[soda]

I would love to be with my MM. That would be my magical wand. My son will be in kindergarten in the a.m. That is not enough time to get a fulltime job. I do not want to take my H to the cleaners. He does not deserve that. You don't realize how much money you can bring in being a dog walker! This is not a fairy tale by any means. It is a nightmare, b/c our families are so close. It is not going to happen, so it doesn't matter. I still do love & respect my H, but he is making it harder & harder to feel those feelings again.

 

She's in an absolute fog.

 

Here's what will bring her out of it...

 

She'll wreck her marriage, OM's marriage, lose the respect of her friends and family, leave her child in a broken home...and end up alone.

 

OM STILL won't want her. If he did, he'd be with her right now.

 

This sounds like magic to me.