ShellseyB Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 I met this great girl last year and we dated for a bit. I am 22 and she is in her 30's. I didnt notice an age difference, but she had problems with it. We had a big fight before xmas and broke up. I wasnt mature about the fight. Weve gotten back together here and there since the fight to try again but either i backed away or she did. She is a great girl and I think she does like me but she has stopped taking my calls because I have been a jerk in the passed. I really want to make a relationship work with her and show her i am not a jerk. i know i hurt her before when i couldn't make my mind up but it is now and i want to be with her. how do i show her i am serieous about being back in her life? Link to post Share on other sites
Tripper Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Big age difference between 22 and 30's... not just years but outlook on life, maturity etc. Besides being around your sexual peak what do you have to offer her?? Where do you want this relationship to go?? Where does she?? Link to post Share on other sites
carrotgirl Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 ShellseyB, have you introduced this girl to your family? Has she introduced you to hers? Carrot Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 how do i show her i am serieous about being back in her life? Leave her alone and grow up. It's as simple and as complex as that Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Big age difference between 22 and 30's... not just years but outlook on life, maturity etc. Besides being around your sexual peak what do you have to offer her?? Where do you want this relationship to go?? Where does she?? 10 years can be a big difference, if you are in your early mid twenties and your partner is 10 years older. Maybe more so if the woman is older, than vice versa - but there can be a difference in maturity and goals in life. Link to post Share on other sites
LikeCharlotte Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 Tell her and if she refuses show that you are mature and accept it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 I met this great girl last year and we dated for a bit. I am 22 and she is in her 30's. I didnt notice an age difference, but she had problems with it. We had a big fight before xmas and broke up. I wasnt mature about the fight. Weve gotten back together here and there since the fight to try again but either i backed away or she did. She is a great girl and I think she does like me but she has stopped taking my calls because I have been a jerk in the passed. I really want to make a relationship work with her and show her i am not a jerk. i know i hurt her before when i couldn't make my mind up but it is now and i want to be with her. how do i show her i am serieous about being back in her life? From your post, I don't think it,s the age gap as much as your level of maturity that bothers her.. I've been dating/living with much younger guys for over 12 years now.. almost got married to one (12 yrs younger).. but he was in his mid 30s.. and he was very mature. I say.. grow up and show her that you are a responsible, mature guy.. she might change her mind. Oh.. I have been seeing an old flame for the last few days.. I dated him 6 years ago.. he called me back about 2 months ago.. he said he now wants to be serious with me... (I don't)... anyway.. he's 20 yrs younger.. Age is just a number.. for you... for now.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShellseyB Posted June 22, 2008 Author Share Posted June 22, 2008 ShellseyB, have you introduced this girl to your family? Has she introduced you to hers? Carrot She met my parents by accident once when she came to pick me up and my parents were just pulling in the driveway. They didn't know how old she was because she looks in her 20's. She is 38 though. And my dad told me later she was relaly beautiful. Also, my friends think she is hot and cool. My younger sister is 18 and she met her once and was shocked to know her age because she just doesn't look it. She has no wrinkles or anything at all and she is at the gym all the time so her body is amazing. Also I am big and tall and maybe look 25 she looks 27 or 28. I sent her an e-mail today and asked her if she would give me another chance, but she said she had already given me to many and that i took her for granted. I know i did do that to her. My boss saw her out at a bar last weekend and said when he said my name she looked really sad. She told him she really likes me but doesnt want to be involved because I am too young and work at a bar. He thinks I still have a chance to be together with her. It's not a stupid crush i have i think i am in love with her. i never feel this way about any girls my own age. i meet lots of girls from work but nothing is like being with her. the last time we had sex it was so amazing and i held her all night but she told me she thinks that i cant be sereious at my age and should go out with younger girls. I don't want to tho, i am in love with her still. I can't stop myself. i know she is not dating anyone right now because my boss knows her. he says lots of guys want to be with her and try to pick her up but she always leaves the bar alone. He owns two bars the one i work at and another in a different town and he knows her well because they went to high school together. my friends all tell me she is the girl for me. my last girlfriend back home cheated one me and broke my heart she was really shallow and I walked in on her with another guy after two years. when i met this girl from online dating i was still in a hurt position and i wasnt good to her because i still felt screwed up. but she made me so happy and feeling good about myself again. she told me so many times to go to school because i am smart and shouldn't waste my life working in a bar. she is just so different and not to mention so beautiful. she doesnt look 38, more like 27-28 which is what my friends guessed when they met her. I wanted to meet her parents but she wanted to wait. I feel so screwed up now. I had a chance with her before xmas and i blew it with her by being standoffish. I just love her and i want to prove to her i can be good for her. she is divorced from a while back but has no kids. I could see myself being married with her someday. maybe thats stupid to think but its true because shes 16 years older. i don't have troubles meeting girls but i havent ever met anyone like her ever before. i miss being with her so much. Link to post Share on other sites
wareagle Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 I agree with Carhill, it's time to let go and grow up! Experience some girls and I say girls closer to your own age and learn how to act a react to controversy and constructive criticism, until you can learn how to deal with that you never will be able to have a healthy relationship! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShellseyB Posted June 22, 2008 Author Share Posted June 22, 2008 ive been with lots of girls and had lots of sex. i dont have trouble having sex with girls. It usually comes so easy, but she made me wait for 6 weeks before having sex with me and for the first time in my life ever i didnt care! i wanted to wait for her. You guys just don't understand, this girl is super smart, gorgeous and classy. at my work i can have sex every night if I want and I have had sereious girlfriends too. she is just different. She looks like a model and she has a great personality. When we are together i feel so good. i texted her tonight back and forth and asked if i could come over but she said she isnt sure. you guys really think i should leave her alone? i just don't want to. I have never felt this way before about a girl and have been with lots of girls. i want to give it a chance. we have been on and off since november. If you new her and saw her picture you would see how I feel about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShellseyB Posted June 23, 2008 Author Share Posted June 23, 2008 I saw her this afternoon. we met by the water and went for a walk together with her dogs. she let me hold her hand and we talked. i told her that i am in love with her and she cried a bit. she still says we cant make it work because our ages and she thinks i can't stay faithful because of where i work. but she also says she really likes me and doesn't want to be hurt by me again. she looked so beautiful today. ive never felt this way about anyone before her. i wish i hadn't screwed up before xmas when i ignored her after fighting. i held her forever before she had to go and she said she will think about what i told her. i just didnt want to let her go. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Now that she's the 'independant' one.. you're head over heels for her.. It works everytime.. when one partner is 'confident' and 'independant' the other is at his/her feet.. works every single time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShellseyB Posted June 23, 2008 Author Share Posted June 23, 2008 Now that she's the 'independant' one.. you're head over heels for her.. It works everytime.. when one partner is 'confident' and 'independant' the other is at his/her feet.. works every single time. sometimes she pulls away from me and then i do it to her. i dont know why i do it. i came on too strong when we first met and she got scared by that. i screwed up at xmas and upset her then we sorta got back together and she left me again because i took her for granted she said. i dont know how to act with her sometimes because she is older and different. girls my age chase me and act stupid and call me non stop. i went home with a girl after work last weekend and she calls me 10 times a day and cries all the time. i hate that stuff when girls act like that but girls my age always act like that. she si always cool and never acts like that. I have never went chasing anyone until i met her. you dont think i can make it work with her Lizzie because i am too young for her ? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 sometimes she pulls away from me and then i do it to her. i dont know why i do it. i came on too strong when we first met and she got scared by that. i screwed up at xmas and upset her then we sorta got back together and she left me again because i took her for granted she said. i dont know how to act with her sometimes because she is older and different. girls my age chase me and act stupid and call me non stop. i went home with a girl after work last weekend and she calls me 10 times a day and cries all the time. i hate that stuff when girls act like that but girls my age always act like that. she si always cool and never acts like that. I have never went chasing anyone until i met her. you dont think i can make it work with her Lizzie because i am too young for her ? Not at all.. age is a number.. as long as it's short term.. I never believed in long term when the age gap is too big.. From what I read.. you are way too immature.. it's not your age, it's your maturity.. but I have to say that she doesn't sound too mature herself.. Maybe you're both, just playing games... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShellseyB Posted June 23, 2008 Author Share Posted June 23, 2008 Not at all.. age is a number.. as long as it's short term.. I never believed in long term when the age gap is too big.. From what I read.. you are way too immature.. it's not your age, it's your maturity.. but I have to say that she doesn't sound too mature herself.. Maybe you're both, just playing games... I have been a jerk to her. i dont think she wants to play games with me i think i don't deserve her though. thankyou for giving me some advice. maybe i am not mature, i wish i was so she would want to consider being with me. i think she is ****ed up from her divorce because she wont let anyone get close to her. She liked the sex with me but always got upset when i said i wanted her to be my girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShellseyB Posted June 23, 2008 Author Share Posted June 23, 2008 i guess no one has any more advice for me. Link to post Share on other sites
carrotgirl Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Shellsey, I think Lizzie said some smart things that are worth your consideration. It's going to be up to you what you do next. You can try again now or you can give it some time and space and see if a little aging helps, as in cellaring a fine wine.... Carrot Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShellseyB Posted June 24, 2008 Author Share Posted June 24, 2008 I just dont know what makes this one different. she isnt like other girls she just isnt. in the two years i was with my x-gf i didnt ever feel this kind of intense love about her. she says she wants time to think everything over so i am leaving her alone. i texted her and said i missed her today and she said she misses me to but wants to think things over still. i know she is moving to another city soon further away from me. i just get sad everytime i think about her. shes all i ever think about. i told my dad the truth about her age today and he said he doesnt think love has anything to do with age but wants me to be careful because he thinks she will hurt me. if shes been divorced he thinks she might not be able to be sereious about being with someone my age and its possibly only about sex for her. i can tell by how she looks at me that she likes me. we were having sex the last time and when i was on top of her i was looking in her eyes and she kept looking away so i made her look at me. there is something in her eyes that lets me know how she feels. i think she is afraid of being hurt. i know her ex cheated on her to. i like her so much i could see myself waiting for a long time to be with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts