reve Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 3 people are involved. 2 good friends going after 1 girl. friend A previously had a failed courtship because another one of his close friends also happen to go after the same girl he likes and end up together. so now i am afraid that if i were to go after this girl i may lose friend A as a friend coz it ould be like happening to him twice in a row. So my dilema is what do i do now. do i go after her and let her know my feelings for her at the risk of maybe losing him as a friend or do i keep my silence and let them be. i really like her a lot but dun want to risk losing either one of em. friend A has been going after her for quite sometime already while i simply stood by watching them. what do i do now? what should i do so as not to have any casulties on either sides? Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 My advice to you would be to leave them both alone. If you really don't want to lose your friend, then don't pursue anything with the girl he's interested in. The fact that it already happened to him would just crush him even more. Since you don't want that, then back off. Maybe it won't work out between them and then eventually you can express your feelings to her, but only when everything is said and done between them. Your friend will respect you more that you waited rather then moving in when he was. Friendship is more important anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 Hi Guy, Here's the one golden rule to friendship: "Never, never date your friends ex!" simple enough to understand? I think both of you should just sit back and let her choose. Back-off a little bit, give her some slack. But here's a question for you....does your friend know that you like this young lady also? Is he aware of the challenge put before the both of you? How do you think he feels about your friendship? and has this ever happened before between the two of you? Maybe, just maybe he is the kind of guy who doesn't become interested in someone until someone else is, I know many women and men alike like this. It seems to be a challenge to them, you know the old waying? "the chase is better than the catch" I myself had fallen victem to this in my past and as it turned out I should have gone for the "quiet" guy because to tell you the truth, in the end.....he was the better man! Stupid me. Oh well, lesson learned........don't always go for the squeeky wheel. I truly hope I have given you a few things to think about and I hope I have given some sound advice. Good luck guy! Bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 you say your friend A has been after her for a while... does that mean they're dating?? or has she been rejecting him? If it's the latter, you may want to talk to A and say that you'd like to give her a try yourself. Otherwise, you're gonna have to stay out of it. it's a tough situation b/c even if you stay out of it now, if A and the girl get together, you may be uncomfortable hanging out with them... 2c, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
jasdoug Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 Open your mouth and everyone loses. Keep it shut, endure the pain, but peace is kept, and no loss. Are there any other choices that are real? Move on, don't agonize....easily said, harder to do. Best wishes... Link to post Share on other sites
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