artemis32 Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 I cheated on my current boyfriend with a past lover. I saw the ex for a few month a couple years ago. He has a bad habit of sleeping around (I didn't know that until we stopped seeing each other). I fell hard for who I thought he was & when I found out his dirty secrets (through mutual friends) I was devastated. I then pretended that he didn't exist and in his presence I wouldn't as much as look his way. I didn't actually recover from the hurt, I just ignored it. Well, the past few months we've been hanging out (again through mutual friends). I fed me crap like he was mad that my current boyfriend snatched me, when he wanted to work things out. And he always adored me, blah, blah. I figured that okay, i've been there, done that, we're friends, we hang with the same friends; he wouldn't be lying to me. Well, one night I got drunk and slept with him. Last night he brings a girl out with him from out of town. I'm so mad. I can't believe he did this to me again and I let this happen. I'm right back where I was emotionally 2 years ago. I opened an old wound and now I have to deal with it. I hate him all over again. I hate me for giving him the benefit of a doubt. I'm jealous. I just hurt so much. Any advice for coping and once and for all getting over this *******? Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 This is not a good thing. You haven't mentioned your current BF once, other than to say you cheated on him... This means two things. You give Jack sh-1-t about him, and you have no self-esteem whatsoever. This is really unfair on the guy. he's stuck with a GF who actually seems to care very little about him, and is more wrapped up in her own feelings of anger, resentment, jealousy and self-worth than she is about him. My advice, (if yuou're still reading) is to tell him you're feeling somewhat screwed-up and confused right now, and you need a break from relationships to sort your mind out. Then, just stop seeing anyone, and just get to grips with who you are, what you want, what you will put up with, and wehat you won't out up with. Don't stoop to be second best or somebody's boredom breaker. What your ex- did with other girls when he was supposedly with you, you're doing to your BF now. you want him to see you that way? Do you want to have the reputation of being easy and up for it from anyone? Get a grip, get out of this relationship and get even - with yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 Leave your current bf. I can already tell you don't have enough common decency to tell him what you did, so just leave him. Oh and stop acting like a ho Link to post Share on other sites
Author artemis32 Posted June 21, 2008 Author Share Posted June 21, 2008 are you serious?! That is the response i get? Stop acting like a ho? Wow. Thanks people, this is really helping me out a lot. I haven't mentioned the current boyfriend because he's a different issue. I like to try to keep post short. We're having issues we're trying to see if we can work out. This post wasn't about him, so therefore I didn't mention him. Link to post Share on other sites
Stockalone Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 I haven't mentioned the current boyfriend because he's a different issue. I like to try to keep post short. We're having issues we're trying to see if we can work out. This post wasn't about him, so therefore I didn't mention him. You now know that your ex was and still is full of sh*t. You wanted to believe that he has changed, but unfortunately he abused your trust yet again. You know now for sure that he is a jerk. I guess I can understand that you feel some jealousy because he slept with you and moved on to another woman. But would you really want hm back? I hope not. Instead of feeling jealous, feel sorry for the other girl. It won't be long before he dumps her too and moves on to someone else. About your bf. People mention it because even though you see it as an separate issue, it really isn't. If you are in a commited relationship, he deserves to be considered in the decisions you make. Cheating on him doesn't show any consideration for his feelings, it's the ultimate betrayal. Nobody wants to be lied to and have decisions made for him by other people. I am sure that your bf didn't expect you to betray his trust. But you did, and he deserves to know. If you keep your bf in the dark, you are not better than your ex who plays with other people's feelings and only cares about himself. You don't want to be that person. Own up to what you did, tell him and either break up with your bf or ask him to forgive you. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 are you serious?! That is the response i get? Stop acting like a ho? Wow. Thanks people, this is really helping me out a lot. It's good advice. Stop acting like a ho. What you did was slutty, so in the future, don't act that way. Then you'll avoid a lot of pain and you won't come off as disrespectful and skanky. The fact that you're more worried about getting over ur jealousy for ur ex than how this is gonna make ur bf feel just makes you look even trashier. Oh, and stop getting wasted around other dudes, that's some good advice too, even tho it's no excuse. I haven't mentioned the current boyfriend because he's a different issue. I like to try to keep post short. We're having issues we're trying to see if we can work Are you even gonna tell him you screwed another guy? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 Start by breaking up with your boyfriend. He deserves better! What YOU are doing to your very own boyfriend is so low and hurtful and all you can think about is how much you hurt because you're ex (who is helping you cheat on your boyfriend) isn't who you thought he was. Ironic huh? How do you know that right now you are clean? Please get a STD checkup with your Dr and confess to your boyfriend so HE can go get checked as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Sks Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 lolz, the girl cheats on her boyfriend then complains about being used by the guy she cheated with. hilarious Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 The worst thing is she asks for advice on how to cope with this and get over him, no advice on how to break this to her poor sap of a bf. Topics like these make me lose faith in people. Link to post Share on other sites
serendip Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 I cheated on my current boyfriend with a past lover. I saw the ex for a few month a couple years ago. He has a bad habit of sleeping around (I didn't know that until we stopped seeing each other). I fell hard for who I thought he was & when I found out his dirty secrets (through mutual friends) I was devastated. I then pretended that he didn't exist and in his presence I wouldn't as much as look his way. I didn't actually recover from the hurt, I just ignored it. Well, the past few months we've been hanging out (again through mutual friends). I fed me crap like he was mad that my current boyfriend snatched me, when he wanted to work things out. And he always adored me, blah, blah. I figured that okay, i've been there, done that, we're friends, we hang with the same friends; he wouldn't be lying to me. Well, one night I got drunk and slept with him. Last night he brings a girl out with him from out of town. I'm so mad. I can't believe he did this to me again and I let this happen. I'm right back where I was emotionally 2 years ago. I opened an old wound and now I have to deal with it. I hate him all over again. I hate me for giving him the benefit of a doubt. I'm jealous. I just hurt so much. Any advice for coping and once and for all getting over this *******? you are a piece of work....talk about a selfish person I feel bad for your boyfriend...poor dude Link to post Share on other sites
roller32 Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 OP- You never allowed yourself time to heal after all that happened between you and your ex. Please realize that HE is toxic to you. There is no need to be jealous over anything this man is doing. You made the right decision to leave him the first time. Keep telling yourself this. It's time to check yourself out mentally from him. He has no control over your thoughts...only you do. You also need to get out of your current relationship. It's time to let him go. Even though you may care for him, in your heart, you know you're not in love with him. Staying will only prolong your unhappiness. Everything is easier said than done, just remember, you need to feel the bad to appreciate the good in life. If you want to find real love, OP, then begin to love yourself first. Figure out the destructive patterns in your life and work on them for YOU. You deserve happiness and I know it will come. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 are you serious?! That is the response i get? Stop acting like a ho? Wow. Thanks people, this is really helping me out a lot. I haven't mentioned the current boyfriend because he's a different issue. I like to try to keep post short. We're having issues we're trying to see if we can work out. This post wasn't about him, so therefore I didn't mention him. Is cheating how you work through issues w/your BF? Listen... Your Ex fooled you once... Ok. Then, you let him fool you AGAIN... except this time you made a commitment to someone... and broke it. I know it doesn't sound helpful to say "stop acting like a ho". However it's really good advice, just put in a very blunt way. Fact is that the guys who just want you for sex... they go away when you don't give it to them! That's how you can tell the difference. Link to post Share on other sites
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