3 months since I was dumped

[foxh1234]

Hi everyone. It has been 3 months since I found out about the cheating and got dumped. As some of you may know, I have been doing very well lately and feeling like I was coming out of this mess. My ex must have sensed this somehow because she called me late last night. I don't know how ex's know that we are doing great and it is time for them to f**k with us again, but that is what she did. I was busy at the time and didn't look at who was calling and I answered on the 2nd ring. She said hi and I said who is this ? She said and I said ( kind of stunned) why are you calling me ? She said, sorry for calling, I shouldn't have called. I said again- why did you call me ? she had no answers just quiet and apologizing. I told her I was busy and not to call again just to say hi. I said if it was an emergency than call, otherwise don't. I hung up and have not heard from her since. Why the f**k do they do this to us ? I am not feeling too bad, but it has set me back a little. Is this their intent ? She is back in my head today and it pisses me off!!! I will shake it off, but damn I can't understand why she wants to hurt me more. She dumped me, she cheated, she lied, I didn't do anything but love her. Anyway, that's it I guess. As I said earlier, I don't feel too bad, but it still makes me shake my head. Anyone else have anything to say ?

[foxh1234]

Really? She called? What the ****???!!! I HATE them!!!!! Ok bitch, I'm ready! I'm doing fine! Now ****ing call me dammit!!!!! lol

 

These ****in' bitches always know when to come back and **** around. You ****ed up though man, by answering. Dammit!

 

So I am gonna hear from my bitch again??? I don't want no damn phone call.

 

Man, I can't believe she called. Don't be answering that **** again!!!!!!!!!!!11111111

 

I never expected it to be her and I never looked at the caller id. I will from now on for sure. what is so strange is she had nothing to say.

[kizik]

Fox,

 

I'm having kind of a tough day myself. Thinking about her too much b/c I didn't sleep well. I'm sorry she f*cked with you. Be glad that you can be angry at her cheating. If and when my ex calls, I'm going to have to pretend to be happy instead of just telling her to f*ck off. But who knows, maybe by then I will actually be happy.

 

You're doing great, just shake it off. Remember: they want to be in our heads! That's almost certainly why she called. You can't let her!!

 

Though diverson & replacement, bro.

[Rich464]

I know, thats pretty harsh. I'm at 4 months since my breakup and when we hit 3 months she started calling me, hiding her number and calling my work mobile so I couldn't see it was her and had to answer in case it was work related. Then she just turned up outside my work because 'she had to see me'

 

She treat me like crap, threatened to cheat on me and poured boiling hot coffee all over my arm and then 3 months after we break up she does that. I'll never understand her but it did a very good job of screwing with my head. What little consolation it is, I understand exactly how you feel man

[roghornio]

I hadn’t seen my ex in a couple months, NC for 6 weeks and 4 months since split… and was well on my way to recovery. HOWEVER I ran into her a party and ended up kissing her. Now it didn’t bother me the first few days – in fact I felt a relief in the sense I thought well if she ain’t contacting me for the 6 weeks NC period she must think I’m a dick or something… but we got on great , so i felt some relief there.For the first couple days I thought “I’m not bothered anymore” – but a few days on an it’s bouncing through my head quite a lot now – I can feel if I think too much about it I’m going to start going backwards! Should I call, shouldn’t i… why did we kiss, what will happen if I see her again… the old questions are returning haha… oh dear!!!!

[motive2002]

My ex must have sensed this somehow

This is because they are not human.

[kyta]

It is strange how we want them to call so much at first, and we try to call them and nothing, they blank us, but as we move on they seem to radar in, and bam lets **** his head up, it has happend 4 time to me now, but never again, they can radar in but Fook off is what she will get.

Its as iff they dont want us, but dont want us to be happy, well tough, im going to be happy, im going to enjoy my life, im going to enjoy meeting neww ppl, im going to enjoy the feeling of going to bed with some one new, and experiece the joys of it, im going live without her, im going to go out, im going to do everyhting i want to and she wont shre that life with me, she wont even do much more than go out off her town, tough on her, enjoy ur new green grass, but as time goes on, watch ur new green grass fade and die, cos the grass on this side is still green and healthy, and you not having it again, u can look and miss it but its my grass now, u gave it up.

Yes my life will go on and she wont rule it, she is not having that power over me again, she lost it, but i still have to face court for the lieing thing she is, so i pity her for her loss.

Im not even angery at her, wanted to be but not going to be, no point in it, its just life and choices we all make, hers is this, and mine is live my life for me.

Please fiona dont call me dont tx me, do not try to contact me at all, now tomorrow or ever, u live ur life of ****, and take as many c*cks as u wish, if that makes u feel a better person, and boost ur self esteem, then carry on, for in the long run you will cry and ur esteem will be lower than now.

[LikeCharlotte]

This is because they are not human.

Hahahahahahahah ahahahahah *falls over* hahahaha :laugh::laugh::p

 

Are you okay fox?

[stlnsmile]

Why does everyone get "the call" but me? I used to have sedge to have that in common with...now...nope, Im the only one on the board. Dam*!

[kizik]

I haven't gotten the call. It breaks my heart. I'm doing so badly today, smile. It f*cking kills me that she doesn't care enough to contact.

 

Post 500! Something to celebrate? Prob. not.

[stlnsmile]

Lord God, I know, believe me I know.....6 months and counting. I try to be honest with myself, like, what the hell would I do if I got the call anyway? I don't want him? So whats the point....again.....validation? Well you know what Kiz.......I'll tell you even if she won't......your a damn awesome guy.....so screw her:)

[northstar1]

I haven't gotten the call. It breaks my heart. I'm doing so badly today, smile. It f*cking kills me that she doesn't care enough to contact.

 

Post 500! Something to celebrate? Prob. not.

 

You're doing well Kiz. It's still early in the game -

 

I know you want to hear from her (you and me both) - but we both know that it would only bring more pain. I'd love to hear from my ex, but I know that it wouldnt' bring the news I want to hear, so it would only be like tearing the scab off all over again.

[kyta]

Trust me you really dont want that call as much as u think you do, i know, have had the call done my head in, gone back, and nothing changed, she wasnt the gold i thought she was, shes just cooper, the call will not give you what you think you want, will just confuse you more.

[sid3]

The call is something you'd be better off not getting IMHO. It allows the wondering and hurt to come rushing back. I got the call, text, apology, promises exactly when I was starting to feel much better. It's kind of creepy how they know when.......

[kizik]

It's kind of creepy how they know when.......

 

To self-servingly quote myself from yesterday:

 

"And if and when this 5% does come back, the ones that still loved no longer love anymore. Because they've spent months in misery over the ones that stopped loving. And the misery has turned to anger and resentment... while the ones that didn't love - their emotions turned to guilt and regret for having passed up on something so special."

 

Maybe that's why. I don't think my ex will do this, though. She's too doted upon by her parents and this superficial world, in general, to EVER realize what a bitch she was.

[v33]

I'll tell you, I am at the point where I don't want the call. I was telling my new "acquaintance" over the weekend that I fully expected the ex to start causing some **** for me now that I have things coming together.

 

I don't have any firsthand experience but I do believe that they have some kind of psychic link to us that tells them when we are doing just fine.

 

I remember the first two months where I would subconsciously or consciously put myself in situations where I might run into her, but now I dread the day where I might come into contact with the nutjob.

 

I guess that's what meeting a stable, together and honest person will do for you. But I never would have gotten to this point unless I had gotten it together first on my own.

[kizik]

It's getting easier for you b/c you have a new prospect. Can't wait till I do, too. When good things are happening, we don't focus on the bad. And it just so happens that when the bad walks in again, we care less. Not sure is has to do with a psychic link. Just My Opinion.

 

Congrats, V!!!

[v33]

The psychic thing might be a bit of a stretch, but judging from some of the posts here it is a bit uncanny how it seems to happen over and over to different people.

 

I will tell you that for sure a new prospect helps, but I have had a few, and it wasn't until I really realized that I had had enough and I took serious action (not just thoughts) to change my life and do things for me and get my power back that this new person came into my life. We had talked before and let the ball drop, but after a couple breakthroughs and things I did for myself over the last little while, she came back out of nowhere. I couldn't have attracted her a month ago. At least not honestly.

 

And this person is completely blowing my mind. I think I might be getting a glimpse of what a healthy and equal partner would look like. I don't want to jinx anything though, hehe.

[kizik]

Quick tips on what you did to "get your power back"?

[LikeCharlotte]

Why does everyone get "the call" but me? I used to have sedge to have that in common with...now...nope, Im the only one on the board. Dam*!

If I ever get the call it means hell has frozen over and is headed our way! You aren't alone.

[v33]

Eat healthy, exercise and 8 hours sleep! Hehehe!

 

But seriously, if I can sum it up here we go :

 

 

• I got tired of thinking she was doing so well while I was miserable so I decided to change that.
  
• I made a list of the things that I felt would make me happy and a more complete person.
  
• I looked at the list for a long time, and all the while felt sorry for myself.
  
• I started to actually DO the things that I wanted to do instead of taking the weak way out.
  
• I recognized that these things were making me feel better and not a distraction.
  
• Some examples, returned to my martial arts training, joined a gym, started dating (via online sites and asking out interesting girls I met), bought some new clothes and dared to present a more attractive side of me, started spending a lot of time with good friends and enjoying the moment instead of being distracted the whole time.
  
• The most important thing was realizing that there are 3 tenses in life, the past, present and future. And I could chose to live in any one of them. The past was no longer an option, what's the point? And the future can't be "lived in". What's left? Enjoy every minute for what it is. Every moment is worth something if you stop to savor it. But even if you don't, living in the past is a fool's errand. And my ex spent her whole life reliving her past.... I sure don't want to be like that.
  

I guess I just stopped feeling sorry for myself. Like you said, do I want to look back and be ashamed at myself for the time I wasted over something that can't be changed?

 

I had suffered and humiliated myself long enough.

[kizik]

Beautiful. Thank you. That post is going in my file.

[sid3]

 

I had suffered and humiliated myself long enough.

 

well said V:D