kimmy08 Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 HI, Well having a bit of a problem, Needing honest assistance with this, I moved in to a new place with the b/f. I thought that I would be happy, he did sign a one year lease and it has only been a month and a half. I find that always tells me what to do, How to clean, dress, gets upset when I go out with a friend that has messed me for money. (i think that it is my choice to stay friends or not) But I find me not caring like I use to when we were not living together. I never tell him that I love him anymore, I do not always want to be around him, I like to keep myself the way that I was and I do not want to change, I try and talk to him about this and he says that he is not trying to change me. Well telling how to do everythign including cooking is trying to change me. I do love him but I am feeling distant. He always needs to be with me. He gets mad if I do not want to go to bed at the same time, do the same things as he does. I told him that I am not into doing somethings. Sometimes I want ot stay in the house and not go out or be with anyone but he doesn ot have to he can go out. That makes me happy when he goes out. How can I get it through to him, he is younger 26 and I am 33. I have been on my own for a long time and I do not want to change my ways Help please thank you kim Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 sounds like it's time to move out, he doesn't sound mature enough to realize that you don't make demands on someone the way he does you ... it's pretty normal to try to "tame" someone you're with, or at least help them become a better person (encouraging them to lose weight, finish their degree, go after they promotion they want, get involved, etc), but when someone starts to dictate how you behave, that's a very big red flag, makes me wonder if he's the jealous, possessive type. And that's something you don't need. Link to post Share on other sites
kimmi08 Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 i know, it seems like that to me too, even to watch tv, (i do not like it) he bugs me to do that... I feel bad because we just got this place and i do not want to leave it all on him.. that is what has been stopping me...i think maybe i need courage or something... Link to post Share on other sites
Nazima Posted July 26, 2003 Share Posted July 26, 2003 This guy sounds a lot like my stbx husband, very controlling. Alway telling me what to do, and complaining about how I did it because I didn't do it the way he thought it should have been done. I was with him over 23 years and he never changed, except for the worse. I endured mental and emotional abuse and finally at the end he became physically abusive. Get out now while the gettings good. You don't want to spend the rest of your life under his thumb and being miserable the whole time walking on eggshells trying to please someone who will never be satisfied. Link to post Share on other sites
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