A second chance, here is my story.

[LolitaAnastasia]

I'm very much happy in my relationship which has always been on and off. It has had a transition from being a FWB to now dating.

I have known him for three years.

 

However, last year in Jan 07 he was chatting to a chick via the internet who came from interstate. I know about this because she once called while I was there. I actually asked who called (as he talked for 2 and 1/2 hours on the phone to her) and he answered "I can't tell you who it is, just someone from the poker game I play." I let it go but just that call made me feel like something was up. Call it intiution. lol

 

During the course of the following weeks, I noticed he got a bit agitated when I was around and I didn't understand why. Then he called it off saying he wasn't interested in seeing me again (okay we were not dating just ****buddies).

 

Over the next few months I heard he moved to VIC and my sister was still chatting with him. The next day after he arrived in VIC I was persuaded to send him an email telling him that I had feelings for him.

 

I logged on every second day (Wed, Fri) to see if he replied. Which he didn't. I mean a simple "Thanks for your email, I'm flattered but I'm not interested in you that way." Would of made me happy and I would know where I stood.

 

On the Saturday my sister calls up and says "Guess who I'm on the computer with?"

 

Then she proceeded on telling what he was saying to her on-line. I was actually horrified with what he said. He said "The night he got to VIC he slept with this girl (I call her a middle age woman), she was mighty good in bed while I was a crap root (****). The woman he was staying with has FIVE kids and her daughter was having a baby. The woman was 44 and she was a single mother living off the welfare and she was a recovering heroin addict (Which by the way he was so proud of her cleaning herself up).

 

When he came back to our state (apparently the grandma whore, kicked him out after three weeks) he was very up tight. He didn't like spending time with me alone and even went out of his way when he came over to my parent's house (I'm 24 studying at uni lol) he would sit at the table, when my mother would ask "So what did you do in VIC" and he would say "The GIRL I was staying with..." Looking directly at me. It seemed to me as if he was saying that he wasn't interested in me as he had someone else.

 

One time we had to share a bed as we were staying at my sister's house and he annoyed that he had to share a bed with me and even more so when I asked if I could go with him as a friend to a nightclub for NYE.

 

Lets say that by mid January 08, he started to come over a bit more and we would watch dvds sitting on chairs next to each other. I found he would lazily put his feet on my lap and I (Not thinking) automatically start teasing his feet with my fingers. Then one night he was laying back on the lounge with my cat on his lap, I ran my fingers over my cat's back and accidently scrapped it along his crotch which got a moan from him.

 

He started talking to my mom as she drove him to drop his car off at the garage and he said to her "I don't think Lolita is going to forgive me for what I did."

 

The following weekend he came over and we watched another dvd which went on late at night and he asked "Can I stay over?" I could let him go home at such a late night and I thought maybe he would stay in my sister's old room. So I answered "Sure", As I was turning the tv off, I noticed he walk to my room as if "Nothing happened" between us. I was shocked.

 

A few weeks late in Feb, I heard from his mother that apparently grandma whore told his mom that she didnt want a relationship with him anymore in the beginning of January. I also know that he keeps a folder on his laptop titled by this grandma whore's name. I told him I wasn't happy about it and even pointed out the email she sent him containing her details with the very "sweet" "I can't wait to finally meet you babe, I'm so excited" Signed Grandmawhore xox. I also saw a pic of her and at least he got one point during that converstation he had with my sister I am better looking then grandmawhore is lol.

 

This is where I am thinking is it possibly that he is now dating me (he said that he is my boyfriend when I ask what do I say to my friend about us, and he doesn't mind that I refer to myself as his girlfriend). However I'm thinking that maybe he gave it some thought and wanted me to offically be his girlfriend. Although I think maybe he wants me because he thinks he can't get anyone else. Although he is happy that we are dating, it's just he hasn't offically said we are dating so I'm just making assumptions.

 

How do I ask if him if we are really dating? Or should I just go with the flow, should it be better that we don't declare ourselves as an offical item?

[ate_the_paint]

It would be best if you declared yourself SINGLE! This is a huge mess you're getting into with a completely irresponsible and immature guy. So what, grandma whore didn't work out so you get the sloppy seconds?

 

And after breaking your heart he thinks he can just slip right back into your life? You guys haven't even discussed anything! And why is your family and you allowing him around?

 

I know that you are on an emotional roller coaster right now. I know it sucks (do I ever know), but he doesn't have your best interests at heart here...only his own.

 

Good luck.