Friend Zone Exception?

[Spartan710]

I'll try not to drag on too long with this, bear with me!

 

I’ve been seeing this girl for about 2 months now and I hit a snag maybe 3 weeks ago. She had a boyfriend when we met; (whom she wasn’t fond of) yet had been in a relationship with him for almost a year. I could gather she was into me quite a bit but knowing she was in a relationship at the time, I decided it would be best I didn’t explore that route. However that didn't last very long.

 

We were both smitten for one another, unfortunatly against my advice she decided to end the relationship with her man. I had told her to make her choices with a clear mind and be very sure in herself with the decisions she makes. We had a mutual agreement, what we had was amazing and to not to jeprodize anything we'd take it slow. No pressure.

 

For weeks we were very casual, just enjoying each others company, I hadn't pressed for anything from her and told her I wouldn't want to put her in a position she was uncomfortable with. Out of no where one day, she drops it on me, shes unsure on what she wants and considers me a friend and doesn't want to lose what we have.

 

Our relationship was a heat of the moment kind of deal, with emotions running high so the outcome shouldn't suprise anyone. The thing that has been eating me up is not knowing if I was just an emotional crutch for her when she was getting out of her relationship with her ex and that she didn't really mean anything she said concerning how she felt about me. She was distraught and she has a full plate with both work and school so maybe taking me on might of been too much for her. I screwed up because I let her off the hook way to easy and didn't get down to business right away when she told me, so now I've got all this stuff on my chest that I should of said right then and there.

 

Instead I let it roll off my back, played the caring and understanding role and went with it. She carried on like nothing ever happened though, basically nothing has changed except the title we use to describe each other is "friends" and the physical connection we have with each other. Yet she still plays games that are screwing with my head, telling me how much she "loves me", "how beautiful I am" and loves how she "can be herself when shes around me and only me". Her constant desire to be with me/ talk with me. Etc, Etc, Etc... Much like how it was when we were dating.

 

I want something more with her. I'm not saying I want to get serious right away. We can be friends if thats what she ultimately decides, but how do I convey to her its not going to be like how it used to, and I don't have the time for her that she wants from me due to the fact my feelings are going to be that of something more then "Friends"?

 

Am I correct in believeing that when your a friend your always going to be a "friend"? Or do her actions hint she may come around?

[vanilla87]

Well I think she still likes you, but you said she has both work and school, so maybe she is juggling that and other things. Are there are activities or things she is involved with? if so maybe she didn't want to feel bad if she got too busy and didn't have time for you.

 

But I could be wrong here too. Maybe she realized that she wants to get to know you better, as a friend, and then get fully involved with you on a dating level, some girls are like that, they need to know the guy very well before they can get down to business with him.

 

Just look at the facts and look how she acts with you. Does she pay extra attention to you then other guys? Does she call you often? Does she do things just for you for no reason? Does she try to spend time with you when she has free time?

 

Also start asking yourself more questions about how she interacts with you, maybe you'll figure it out once you do, plus trust your instincts on this one, it might help you know what is the truth and what isn't when it comes to her.

[asriella]

I think you have a chance, but proceed with extreme caution.

 

Make sure you understand this game: if you give back too much too quickly, you will get stuck in the friend zone forever. In other words, hold back, but be very subtle and strong about it. You be the one that says "we shouldn't" if she goes to kiss you. And don't. You be the one to end the phone conversations (after awhile of talking). Don't offer the "female" side of yourself with your understanding etc. Allow the gruffer and more logical side to come out. You have to play it cool at this point. These actions must appear genuine and not forced.

 

This is what will get you permanently out of that zone, in my opinion.