carrotgirl Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 My ex ex just called me to say I love you. His idea of "I love you" was extremely mean and hurtful and in my perception, threatening, ending with "How did you manage to hide it from me all these years? I know you have been with that GD for all this time. I know he's the one you're with and you let everyone you work with think it's someone else." Can we say the ex ex's I love you threat was poorly timed? I gave his love back with a shovel, not a rake. "Your threats are meaningless because you don't know what you're talking about. "So let me tell you what I know. You are a pathetic victim of a man who is always pointing the finger at someone else whenever he has problems. You don't ever take responsibility for your shhitty work or your shhitty actions when YOU cause problems. You just blame everyone else. "When you don't get life served to you how you think it should be then the whole world is wrong and you're right. Good. Keep it up with fallen angel complex. I'll just be imperfect and human. "Some of us actually try to better our inner selves and take responsibility for our lives and all you do is call that weak and try to take advantage. You so rarely have to do anything to get people to respond to you but be compassionate or at least considerate. "The problem with that is you have no capacity for compassion because deep down inside you think you're worthless. So when you see people who are suffering, we have to feed YOUR ego first just to fuccking get you functional. Grow the fucck up!" He went wussy like a little, pissy toddler, "You don't feed egos. You destroy them!" "Go suck your girlfriend." Carrot Link to post Share on other sites
LikeCharlotte Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 "The problem with that is you have no capacity for compassion because deep down inside you think you're worthless. So when you see people who are suffering, we have to feed YOUR ego first just to fuccking get you functional. Grow the fucck up!" He went wussy like a little, pissy toddler, "You don't feed egos. You destroy them!" "Go suck your girlfriend." CarrotTypical NPD... am I right? That is the only way to deal with them. Well done carrot! You know you told him the truth about himself, because of the reaction. He had no right to judge you or GD (I giggle every time I read GD) he's your douche and it's your business. Yuck. I'd have done the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author carrotgirl Posted June 23, 2008 Author Share Posted June 23, 2008 Hi Charlotte, yah. I don't know if ex ex is NPD. I avoid labeling since I'm not a pro and so many aspects of PDs seem to apply to just about everyone in some context. Though when it comes to this ex ex, the label could be true. My own take is that it probably was a bad choice to lash out and call him on his crap. I've been on the receiving end of his wrath before. I expect he will try to hurt me whenever and wherever he sees an opportunity now. Carrot Link to post Share on other sites
Author carrotgirl Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 Okay, how late/early in the morning is it? While at the buffet getting my breakfast the ex ex turned to me and said, In all my years no one has ever spoken to me like that. I said, I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. I shouldn't have said that to you. He said, You didn't hurt my feelings. Okay. You didn't hurt my feelings. You INSULTED ME. NO ONE. No one has EVER spoken to me like that before. I said, My intent wasn't to insult you or hurt your feelings, if I didn't hurt your feelings I guess I don't have be sorry. I'm not really concerned about you feeling insulted. And then, still at the buffet, he pulled out his PDA to show me the NOTES he made about my angry soliloquy. You're kidding me, right? I said, that's okay ex ex, I know what I said. He said, No, I just can't believe this. This is crazy. How can you say you weren't trying to insult me?!?!?! You said I was incompetent. You said I blame people for my problems. I don't have any problems. You have problems. You're crazy! You meant to insult me. How can you say you didn't want me to feel bad? You wanted me to feel bad! I don't feel like arguing. I know what I said. You could consider it constructive criticism. I'm not apologizing for what I said because what I said is true. I didn't have to say it though. I could have kept my mouth shut and I do apologize for that and for causing you hurt. He said, Never! Never has anyone ever said this to me. Not my family, not my friends, not my colleagues. You're the only one who has ever been so insulting to me. I said, I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. He was stammering as I walked away. Carrot Link to post Share on other sites
The Y Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Okay, how late/early in the morning is it? While at the buffet getting my breakfast the ex ex turned to me and said, In all my years no one has ever spoken to me like that. I said, I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. I shouldn't have said that to you. He said, You didn't hurt my feelings. Okay. You didn't hurt my feelings. You INSULTED ME. NO ONE. No one has EVER spoken to me like that before. I said, My intent wasn't to insult you or hurt your feelings, if I didn't hurt your feelings I guess I don't have be sorry. I'm not really concerned about you feeling insulted. And then, still at the buffet, he pulled out his PDA to show me the NOTES he made about my angry soliloquy. You're kidding me, right? I said, that's okay ex ex, I know what I said. He said, No, I just can't believe this. This is crazy. How can you say you weren't trying to insult me?!?!?! You said I was incompetent. You said I blame people for my problems. I don't have any problems. You have problems. You're crazy! You meant to insult me. How can you say you didn't want me to feel bad? You wanted me to feel bad! I don't feel like arguing. I know what I said. You could consider it constructive criticism. I'm not apologizing for what I said because what I said is true. I didn't have to say it though. I could have kept my mouth shut and I do apologize for that and for causing you hurt. He said, Never! Never has anyone ever said this to me. Not my family, not my friends, not my colleagues. You're the only one who has ever been so insulting to me. I said, I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. He was stammering as I walked away. Carrot Maybe you guys should break up. heh j/k Link to post Share on other sites
Author carrotgirl Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 Maybe you guys should break up. heh j/k Y! You're very close to my thoughts. It was years and years ago that we dated. I know he's been saying he still has feelings but come on! Carrot Link to post Share on other sites
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