islandboy786 Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 hi guys im new to this so take it easy on me. me and my gf have known eachother for a long time very close to 10 years. we stopped talking for a couple of years but we ended up talking again. so as we started talking again she was in the process of moving to california about feb early march. i really like her and she really likes me. we got together trying a long distance relationship. im in florida. we talk alot and shes says she loves me but in my mind im wondering how does she love me like she says when we have never really been together ? when i talk to her it seems to make my day better and puts a smile on my face. but the other night she came home to her house with a "friend" because he didnt know what to do because he was having problem with his "girlfriend'. also 1 time i was talking on the phone with her and she was like im not doing anything. then all of a sudden her phone goes on mute and then i hear a guy in the background. she says she'll call back. about 10 mins later she calls back. another day we are talking on the phone and shes like im doing nothing but it sounds like shes in a car. next thing i know the phone goes on mute for a little while and i hang up the phone. i call back 2 times but it goes to voicemail right away and the pther time i rang 3 times and went to voicemail. so i call her private a couple of times and she answers. i hear some guy in the back and shes like hes calling me restricted. whats going on here guys ?????? i need your advice, i feel like im putting so much into this and dont want to get hurt. is she cheating on me ? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 I think it is pretty clear what is going on and you know it also. If the roles were reversed do you honestly think she would put up with all the crap you have been enduring? I doubt it. Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Don't be nieve. She's an entire country away and is playing games, don't even bother calling her anymore. Just delete her number and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Any time a woman won't be up front about having a guy close enough where you can hear him in the background, then she's cheating on you. If I were in your shoes, I'd be throwing a hissy fit at this point. I'd skip right past worried into full blown hysteria, and keep right on going. The other posters are right, dump her and move on. If there's no honesty in a relationship, then there's no relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author islandboy786 Posted June 23, 2008 Author Share Posted June 23, 2008 so do guys think that she was cheating when she had a "friend" home from work when he was having problems with girlfriend ? Link to post Share on other sites
I am who I am Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 How old are you Island? Just trying to get a frame of reference... Personally, I would have to say, that you two are not even in a relationship, so cheating isn't even applicable here. Long distance relationships are very difficult to maintain. I'm still trying to figure out why your not dating other women in your own area? Why are you so hung up on a girl who lives on the other side of the country... There are so many fish in the sea, go outside and simply turn your head left... then right. Now, throw your hook into the water and reel one in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author islandboy786 Posted June 23, 2008 Author Share Posted June 23, 2008 I'm 22 we talk a lot thoughout the day on the phone abd thru text messages and spend like 4 hours on the phone everyday. Also she is coming to visit on her bday for 10 days and supposedly we are going to her parents house 4 xmas and after that for new years we will be back in miami or take a trip to domnican republic. Soooo confused guys Link to post Share on other sites
theobserver Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 First of all people why are you putting this type of relationship down? We live int he 21st century people, people can find love anywhere and more often then not are falling and being in love before they even meet. We have the internet and letters ( which most long distant relationships relied on back in the day) and ofcourse the telephone. Now I'm not going to put down this relationship it's clear you have strong feelings for her feelings that are blinding you from the truth as I see it it doesn't matter if she lived 2 hours away for all I care and it appears you've both made plans to be together for a short time rather soon and a little trip too. Now you mentioned I mentioned your love is blinding you and by that I mean she is disrespecting you here. Who is this male in the background? Can you be sure she is single at this moment? Maybe she's actually in a relationship planning to leave and your her possible new mate and wants to test the waters with you for those 10 days but has failed to tell her current bf or you of this plan. I really don't like how her male friend came over to cry a river I really think woman are so gullable at times like that it's soo easy to sleep with someone out of sympathy hopefully she's not like that and he wasn't looking for a "hole" to cry on or in ... lol. I don't know why I want to say this but do you know much about her living arrangements is it possible she's living with a parent too ashamed to admit it? Although this seems unlikely, the fact she turned off her phone as you mentioned makes this so suspicious and you deserve some answers before you both meet up. Best of luck, prepare for the worse. Since you have some history what 10 yrs? I hope it's just a misunderstanding. Link to post Share on other sites
Author islandboy786 Posted June 23, 2008 Author Share Posted June 23, 2008 she isnt with anybody shes "my gurl." she just moved to california and we got together before she left or little after she moved there. i saw her blackplanet page, and i saw in her dating thing that she was looking for males within a certain amount of miles of where shes at. her last activity was 2 weeks ago on bp and we were "together" then. in her myspace im her 3rd friends list other 2 are her brothers and it says in a relationship and im in her photos, also on her page its says she loves me. and that she cant wait to see me when she comes down here. ive never been like this with a girl before i really need you guys opinions Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 she isnt with anybody shes "my gurl." she just moved to california and we got together before she left or little after she moved there. i saw her blackplanet page, and i saw in her dating thing that she was looking for males within a certain amount of miles of where shes at. her last activity was 2 weeks ago on bp and we were "together" then. in her myspace im her 3rd friends list other 2 are her brothers and it says in a relationship and im in her photos, also on her page its says she loves me. and that she cant wait to see me when she comes down here. ive never been like this with a girl before i really need you guys opinions There's not much you can really do because of the distance factor. I mean if she's trustworthy, then she's probably not doing anything, but hanging out with friends that happen to be male. In my opinion, I think that is what's making you uneasy. The fact that she's hanging out with guys you don't know and inviting them to her home. I would talk to her about the situation and express my feelings and if it persists.. Either put the relationship on hold or move on from her and forget it. Link to post Share on other sites
Abomination Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 That myspace crap means nothing, bro. Sorry to break it to you. Go out, meet some new people. This thing you have with her is very fishy. It would suck for you to put all your effort in her direction and down the road things don't work out, or worse yet, you get heartbroken and have to deal with all kinds of other horsesh*t. My advice is (and my situation is kind of similar to yours) move on, meet other girls, BE A MAN. Don't allow anyone, not even her, to bring you down. F*ck playing games! - A Link to post Share on other sites
Author islandboy786 Posted June 24, 2008 Author Share Posted June 24, 2008 do you guys think i should just wait it out until i see her for her bday ? and see what happens from there ? Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 do you guys think i should just wait it out until i see her for her bday ? and see what happens from there ? Will you get laid if you wait it out? :p Link to post Share on other sites
Author islandboy786 Posted June 24, 2008 Author Share Posted June 24, 2008 Will you get laid if you wait it out? :p regardless i get laid , but its not gettin laid im worried about. she is pretty much everything i want in a gurl. good job, degree, "good gurl" when growning up. i mean she has she **** together and i really want a gurl that has her **** together. if it was about getting laid i could just do how i was doing before me and her got together Link to post Share on other sites
Author islandboy786 Posted June 24, 2008 Author Share Posted June 24, 2008 also when she is coming down here for her bday she is getting my name tattooed on her booty.........should i stay with her still ? Link to post Share on other sites
hotpinklove85 Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I think that you should leave her alone. It sounds like she is playing games with you, and wasting your time. (I really have no room to talk since I am unsure about my relationship as well) find you someone that doesnt live so far away. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author islandboy786 Posted June 25, 2008 Author Share Posted June 25, 2008 hey guys i told her how i felt yesterday and recently ive noticed a change in her actions:confused:. i feel as if she is drifting away and is going to stray from me. she isnt all lovy duby anymore, i dont hear i miss u and i love u anymore:(. she said she is stressing because nothing is good enough for me. she also said she was confused on everything. also all of a sudden "her phone happens to lose signal all the time" but before when we would talk there was none of those problems and shes in the same places as before. i really need you guys/girls help, as i have strong feelings for her. i know im putting all my eggs in one basket but i just cant help it Link to post Share on other sites
americanrevgirl Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 Personally, I would have to say, that you two are not even in a relationship, so cheating isn't even applicable here. Long distance relationships are very difficult to maintain. I'm still trying to figure out why your not dating other women in your own area? Why are you so hung up on a girl who lives on the other side of the country... There are so many fish in the sea, go outside and simply turn your head left... then right. Now, throw your hook into the water and reel one in. This is some great advice. I really like the hooking another fish part, lol! Go for it! (btw yes I think she is with someone else) Link to post Share on other sites
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