I need advise

[Ashley]

My boyfriend for a year now came to me last week and said that he didn't have the same feelings for me as he used to, and that he wanted to break up. So for the past week we have been talking a bit and decided that we would just be on hold for a while. I've done some thinking and I'm not ready to give him up and we are so good together. I also think that I may be a bit depressed latley and that could be the reason for the lack of his feelings for me. He is that type of guy who always kids around and does crazy things, thats what I like about him but I've been saying no to alot of his ideas in the past two months. How can I help get back what we had and get him to let me have a chance to get out of my depression and start to have fun again. I'm really scared that I might loose him, We had so much together and I think that it is worth more then that, how can I get him to realize that?

[Tony T]

Ashley: You answered your own question. Get some help for your depresion...therapy, medication or both...and get back to being the upbeat girl he fell in love with. Be fun to be with, up and everything else he is used to. What you have to be concerned about is whether he will respond this way every time you feel down or have a problem. Discuss this with him and see if you can develop the kind of relationship where both of you can share your troubles (as well as the good times) and work them out together. It sounds to me like he wants to be around mostly for the good times. Do yourself a favor and explore this area. I think good communication can get this back together.

[Shirley]

My boyfriend for a year now came to me last week and said that he didn't have the same feelings for me as he used to, and that he wanted to break up. So for the past week we have been talking a bit and decided that we would just be on hold for a while. I've done some thinking and I'm not ready to give him up and we are so good together. I also think that I may be a bit depressed latley and that could be the reason for the lack of his feelings for me. He is that type of guy who always kids around and does crazy things, thats what I like about him but I've been saying no to alot of his ideas in the past two months. How can I help get back what we had and get him to let me have a chance to get out of my depression and start to have fun again. I'm really scared that I might loose him, We had so much together and I think that it is worth more then that, how can I get him to realize that?

 

Hi!

 

You don't have the power to get him to realize anything. Feelings cannot be controlled. Keep the memories of the good feelings you had when you were with him instead of being depressed about what you don't have. He cannot in any way ease your depression. That has to be something that comes from you. Yes, you want to be in love, it's a good feeling. But you don't want to spend your life with someone that doesn't love you in return. Spend some time dating other people and having fun. It will lift your spirits.