nofrontallobe Posted July 26, 2003 Share Posted July 26, 2003 Thanks for your time. This may seem confusing but I will do my best. I had spoken to "R" nearly every day for 2 years over the net. Everything was totally platonic, but we'd chat about everything. He'd describe the hot dates we had, he'd give me advice on my significant other, we'd hash out our problems together, etc. I was dating someone for most of the time we had talked. I broke up with the man I was living with and moving 900 miles away with family. Before I had moved R suggested that we meet once since we'd probably never have the opportunity again. I had meet him in person and had a great time. I saw him a few times after that and moved away. We still talked nearly every day. As fate would have it, he and his friend moved to the same state I am in because of college. Once he came down here, we saw each other several more times after that. One night, we both were drunk and slept together. Afterward, he told me he loved me. I turned into a total jack ass and chewed R out. I told him he should concintrate on getting himself situated down here, that he doesn't know me well enough, etc. Don't get me wrong, I love R like a brother and a friend, and am very interested in having a serious relationship with him but I feel wrong in persuing it. He's at a point in his life where he needs to figure himself out, let alone try to figure out love. Also, R is the type of person that falls in love if you say "hello." to him. I trust him, am attracted to him, and would take a bullet for him. I want to be with him, but I am unsure if it would be healthy in the long run. I realize sleeping with him was wrong and may give him the wrong ideas but at the same time, I do have feelings for him. I guess what am I trying to say is that deep down, I know I love him and I want to be with him however, I don't know if a serious relationship would be good for him at this time. Does any of this make any sense to anyone? Argh, I am confused. Link to post Share on other sites
PurpleAngel Posted July 26, 2003 Share Posted July 26, 2003 WOW, what a great friend you are, so very worried about him. Perhaps that excuse worked with him but here it does not work for me. How are you to know where he is TRULY at, things can change in a heart beet. If you love him, don’t judge it. You sound scared of commitment rather than scared for his well-being. I know you think he is an amazing friend and you are scared to lose that BUT who said you will lose it? Perhaps you are perfect for one another. Sometimes the person we least imagined is the one that is perfect for us. You have been friends for so long, there is obviously something special between you both AND there is a physical attraction too. GREAT! So why destroy the magic that is trying to be created by getting all complicated about it. It doesn’t mean you guys have to go 100 miles per hour.. there is time, no need for marriage now. Take is slow and you will see that everything will work out. I have a good feeling about this, give it a chance. AND I am sure he doesn’t just love you cos you said ‘hello’. Be happy, do what is in your heart and DON’T get all serious and complicated! Life doesn’t have to be this hard! Don’t live worrying about others, you are the person you should be thinking and judging. He is responsible for his decisions and is his own judge, you cannot take that away from him. GOOD LUCK ~PurpleAngel~ Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts