Walking away Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 Ditto. I think this whole thing is sick. It's too crazy to be real. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 I can believe that he sends her emails. He does it because he needs the validation. Its not like he has a boatload of fans out there, nor is he particularly famous or good looking. He is aging, balding, not getting parts. I reckon he takes what he can get. People who I know who are 'almost famous' like this guy collect fans, no matter how rabid or obsessed they are - and keep them hanging on because adoration is adoration. I guess having an obsessed fan makes him feel like he has still 'got it'. I'm sure the women he surrounds himself with are all similar. Perhaps varying levels of adoration/obsession but there nonetheless. Where would he be without these 'fans'? Lonely. Forgotten. So he keeps them, cultivates them and keeps them hanging around for his own purposes. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 Him sending you that just shows he doesn't give a crap about you, nor does he respect you. HE knows you're inlove with him, obsessed with him - HE does NOT love you back, nor does he have ANY intention of having a romantic relationship with you (HE'S told you this many times) yet he sends you a long email, THAT particular email. Wow, just wow. No wonder you can't let go, he is giving you hope and playing a sick game with you ALL for his daily ego feed. Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 While Denver Guy certainly holds the gold medal in overall douchiness, Ariadne is no victim. Stalking, neglecting your child, harrassment and deliberate continuation of this drama tell me that she is just as responsible, if not more so, as DG. Ariadne deliberately choses the fantasy to escape life, and the only person who has my empathy here is her son. Poor guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted July 12, 2008 Author Share Posted July 12, 2008 1 Corinthians 13 He knows how to cut and paste .. Cool http://isv.scripturetext.com/1_corinthians/13.htm Nooooo.... he didn't send me that! That's my love for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted July 12, 2008 Author Share Posted July 12, 2008 Ok, Here is part of his email this morning. Is more of the same talking about work and weather. I hope he doesn't mind me posting this. But it's pretty harmless. -------------------- What a disaster. There was a dept meeting today that I had no idea about. One of the girls that sits here asked me if I was going and that's when I found out. [Girl just walked in and said a lot of people missed and it was just formal stuff, anniversary this etc] At least a lot of other people missed it and it sounds like it wasn't that important--maybe one of those meetings people have because they're worried that too much work might get done otherwise. Hope it all blew over and wasn't anything to worry about. >I was getting things all set up at my mother's house so she could watch >TV in the downstairs bedroom and still be able to change channels on the >DirecTV receiver How did you do that? With mirrors? I used a wireless repeater setup. It's two little boxes with small radio antennas in each room. One goes by the TV set and the other goes near the DirecTV box in the other room. You point the remote at the first box and the IR signals from the remote get converted to radio signals, the other box receives them, and then recreates the IR signals and sends them to the DirecTV box. A lot of people also use this kind of system to put all the stereo and video stuff in a closet or cupboard or behind a screen to set up an audio video system without anything but the screen being visible. (Like in an office, conference room, or high-end home theater.) Seems like you are closer to your mother than the last time I spoke to you. We've been talking a lot more often and doing more together...etc etc Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted July 12, 2008 Author Share Posted July 12, 2008 I can believe that he sends her emails. He does it because he needs the validation. Its not like he has a boatload of fans out there, nor is he particularly famous or good looking. He is aging, balding, not getting parts. I reckon he takes what he can get. He is not like that LB. He is a very spiritual person. I know people here find that difficult to belive, but he is. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 Here is part of his email this morning. Is more of the same talking about work and weather. Honestly, how boring. I don't mean this meanly, but you got excited that once again, he just told you about work and the weather? It isn't PERSONAL at all, very cool and distant. Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 I used a wireless repeater setup. It's two little boxes with small radio antennas in each room. One goes by the TV set and the other goes near the DirecTV box in the other room. You point the remote at the first box and the IR signals from the remote get converted to radio signals, the other box receives them, and then recreates the IR signals and sends them to the DirecTV box. A lot of people also use this kind of system to put all the stereo and video stuff in a closet or cupboard or behind a screen to set up an audio video system without anything but the screen being visible. (Like in an office, conference room, or high-end home theater.) I think I am falling in love... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted July 12, 2008 Author Share Posted July 12, 2008 I think I am falling in love... Well, he's kind of a geek also. Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 Sadly, I was being sarcastic. But really, if it makes you happy, go for it. He seems to enjoy it, you enjoy trashing your life, your son is 18 now...so you can obsess as much as you want. Honestly, I hope you find some happiness this way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted July 12, 2008 Author Share Posted July 12, 2008 Honestly, how boring. I don't mean this meanly, but you got excited that once again, he just told you about work and the weather? It isn't PERSONAL at all, very cool and distant. I like the conversations with him. We wrote like that for over a year before. And we do talk about personal things. A bit of everything. I just don't post that here. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 He is your pen pal Ariadne.. not a love interest... It seems to me that he enjoys his contact with you as he needs a pen pal too Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted July 12, 2008 Author Share Posted July 12, 2008 He is your pen pal Ariadne.. not a love interest... It seems to me that he enjoys his contact with you as he needs a pen pal too Didn't I say at the beginning of that other huge thread that I'd be his penpal forever? I'm ok with that also, if it's the only thing that he can give. And I don't think he needs anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 I guess it's ok to be his pen pal forever but I hope that doesn't mean you won't be open to a REAL relationship with a man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted July 12, 2008 Author Share Posted July 12, 2008 I guess it's ok to be his pen pal forever but I hope that doesn't mean you won't be open to a REAL relationship with a man. I just hope it doesn't mean I'm boring him to tears and being a mega pest. And he is putting up with me to make me happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 I just hope it doesn't mean I'm boring him to tears and being a mega pest. And he is putting up with me to make me happy. Of course not. He's getting something out of it too obviously. But you ignored my post. You never addressed it. Are you still going to be open to a real relationship? (And don't say this one is real.) You know what I mean. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted July 12, 2008 Author Share Posted July 12, 2008 Of course not. He's getting something out of it too obviously. But you ignored my post. You never addressed it. Are you still going to be open to a real relationship? (And don't say this one is real.) You know what I mean. Awww.... he is? I asked him last time to promise me he wouldn't write to me if my emails bored him or if he didn't feel like it, but did it just out of compromise. And I'm always open to anything Touche. I doubt anything like that would happen but I'm open. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 Awww.... he is? I asked him last time to promise me he wouldn't write to me if my emails bored him or if he didn't feel like it, but did it just out of compromise. And I'm always open to anything Touche. I doubt anything like that would happen but I'm open. Of course he is. No one would be writing that much just to be nice. He's obviously enjoying the ego stroking you're giving him. And good. I'm glad you're leaving yourself open. And don't be so negative. There's no reason why it couldn't happen if you're open to the possibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Amorabunda Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Ditto. I think this whole thing is sick. It's too crazy to be real. Unfortunately, it's not! I just joined this forum in order to reply to this thread, not for Ariadne's sake (she's probably beyond help, although I only feel sad for her), but for the sake of some of those of you who have been pouring so much energy into trying to help her see her relationship with Denver Guy from a healthy perspective. I stumbled onto this thread after doing an internet search for something quite unrelated, which brought me to the earlier 59-page thread that's been closed, which I read like a rubbernecker watching a 59 car pileup on the highway -- totally unexpected, and absolutely mesmerizing! Around page 10 I began to wonder what could possibly keep the thread going that long, but then to find this one, too!! The reason I'm posting is I have a cousin who could be Ariadne's twin sister, who became obsessed with with a guy who could be Denver Guy's (they're not -- we all live in the eastern end of the U.S.). I love this girl, but she drove me nuts with her obsession -- we had conversations that went on for years about her guy that drove me absolutely crazy, although she's a very sweet, otherwise intelligent woman. I finally talked to a counselor about her for my own peace of mind when I couldn't persuade her to see one for herself. The guy she was obsessed with treated her much as Denver Guy has treated Ariadne, while treating other women in his life the way DG apparently treated the exes who came here to post. The parallels kept me reading for hours with my mouth gaping open. DG is clearly a narcissist, but so is Ariadne (and my cousin), in all likelihood, although I'm not saying that to be mean or hurtful. I hope it might give Ariadne the kind of jolt necessary to actually seek professional help, because she needs it, and her compulsions will inevitably affect her son badly, as it already appears to have done. She needs to get therapy for his sake, and she will not stop posting here about DG until the rest of you stop responding to her posts about him. What she is seeking is "narcissistic supply." The classic narcissist is usually recognized as being selfish and self-absorbed, 75% of whom are male. More typical among female narcissists are the "inverted narcissist," who are often the children themselves of narcissists. The inverted narcissist *needs* to be "consumed" by their "love" for another person who accepts and absorbs it all (usually a classic narcissist), but who reciprocates, typically, only just enough attention and positive reinforcement to ensure the continued "devotion" of the inverted narcissist. They are yin to each other's yang. Inverted narcissists are often emotional masochists -- treatment that would be revolting for the rest of us is actually painfully blissful for an inverted narcissist, which is why they welcome the opportunity to abase themselves, and often provoke humiliation. The very treatment an emotionally healthy person would run from is alluring to an inverted narcissist. Narcissists often present with an overlay of other personality disorders, such as histrionic personality disorder: Individuals with this disorder may have difficulty achieving emotional intimacy in romantic relationships. Without being aware of it, they often act out a role (e.g., "victim" or "princess"). They may seek to control their partner through emotional manipulation or seductiveness on one level, whereas displaying a marked dependency on them at another level. Individuals with this disorder often have impaired relationships with same-sex friends because of their sexually provocative behavior or their demands for constant attention. They crave novelty, stimulation, and excitement and have a tendency to become bored with their usual routine For those of you trying to figure out what's been going on here, I suggest you read these links, as well, and see how much of it fits what's been going on in these attention-sucking threads and posts about Denver Guy : http://thepsychopath.freeforums.org/the-anti-narcisissist-narcissisist-t5584.html http://www.mhsanctuary.com/therapist/769.htm http://www.mhsanctuary.com/therapist/549.htm I am pointing out none of this with pleasure or glee at all, but rather to help some of you, at least, to grasp the extent to which you have become -- or at least became for awhile -- sources of narcissistic supply to two people, not just one. IMO, DG wrote that supposedly kind "closure" email to Ariadne after realizing you all were writing him off totally, so wrote something that would satisfy his strongest critics among the rest of you without entirely losing Ariadne -- or at least not drive her any farther away than he knew he'd be able to pull her back to him. He also probably knew the perverse satisfaction she'd receive from being "rejected," at least at one level. These two are symbiotic. That said, the therapist I talked to said the narcissists of either bent are the hardest to help of any non-psychotic patient because they refuse to believe they need any. It's tragic, but there you are. I can't help my cousin, but I no longer provide her with narcissistic supply, nor will I provide Ariadne with any. She undoubtedly has many nice qualities, as does my cousin, but they both are addicts, as is DG, and Ariadne and DG are each the other's "drug," but so are the rest of you who post in response to Ariadne's obsession. It's sad, but you can choose to feed her addiction -- or not. I only decided to respond to this thread after seeing whether she'd revived the subject again in subsequent threads here, which has, of course, regularly. HTH Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted September 2, 2008 Author Share Posted September 2, 2008 Well, I have an update on this thread if anyone cares. I've been emailing with DG regularly for the past few months. On Saturday, I received 4 emails from DG: -------------- Sent: Saturday, August 30, 2008 11:17 AM Subject: Re: Re: Hiya--moving a little slow today (so far; maybe I'll perk up any minute). H movie stuff all day yesterday until late, and I'm digitizing the footage over here right now. More in a bit--I'm still trying to get caught up after yesterday. (Oh, BTW, I still haven't been able to get the eye surgery. I've been to the two biggest clinics out here and with current technology, I'm still a little too nearsighted for them to correct my vision with just working on the corneas. They did try to sell me on inserting a second lens inside my eyeballs, but I was less thrilled about that idea. Except for being nearsighted, my vision is still pretty good--normally people lose lens flexibility and focusing as they get older and that hasn't happened to me, so I still have the visual range and lens flexibility of a teenager. That also makes me less inclined to have foreign objects stuck inside my eyeball against the existing lens.) -------------- Sent: Saturday, August 30, 2008 11:25 AM Subject: Re: Re: Embarrassed? Nah. I'm still smiling over here from that note. -------------- Sent: Saturday, August 30, 2008 6:10 PM Subject: Re: Re: Still plugging away on movie stuff out here--got some video editing done and a hard drive of promotional material for "The V..," so I'll get to seeing what I can do with that in a bit. All day yesterday, we were having auditions for several of the secondary roles in The H. Definitely a mix--some good actors and quite a few who were pretty awful. One of the things that makes this tougher is that most of the roles are for men in their 60s, which doesn't fit much of anyone in the pool of people I'm used to working with and it's certainly a small minority of the actors around here. M's son H broke his hand again; that's four broken bones in six months, so the doctors are testing him for "brittle bone syndrome" and starting him on medication for that. So M's been dealing with that and with both his truck and the red stunt van having problems on top of everything else. I have to say, though, that both M and J are doing the work of ten people and somehow keeping up with it all without falling over or even complaining. I'm having enough trouble myself keeping up with all the much more minor stuff I'm doing behind the scenes to keep everything going. Sounds like you've been having your own adventures out there in between D and all the job stuff. (Oh, and I do appreciate the pictures and scans--even if I'd seen a couple of them before, I certainly don't mind seeing them again.) ------------------- Sent: Saturday, August 30, 2008 6:15 PM Subject: Re: hi No, I don't mind. I actually have thought about signing in on there--I'm in a weird emotional state these days and have a lot to work out in my own head. That'll probably take some time, and it's been hard enough lately getting the time to think of any kind of personal stuff; mostly I just try to keep up with the things that need to be taken care of and then get some sleep. (And there's M calling with another GoH issue; I should have known I couldn't get much typed in before that would happen....) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted September 2, 2008 Author Share Posted September 2, 2008 Well, Today is my birthday and not a word from DG! I really don't understand. I sent him a few notes before telling him that today, Monday, it was my birthday and not to forget. Nothing... I spent the whole day utterly depressed, feeling like I'd just eaten a bucket of nails, and just about to throw up. I also sent him a few notes: ------------ Sent: Monday, September 01, 2008 12:13 PM Subject: Re: hi Hey, Where is my Happy Birthday? :-/ ------------ Sent: Monday, September 01, 2008 6:35 PM Subject: Re: hi My birthday is all ruined. I hate my birthday! ------------ Sent: Monday, September 01, 2008 9:02 PM Subject: hey Why didn't you say Happy Birthday to me? Is only two words, and you've been writing to me for the past two months? Why is that so hard? Even out of mercy. I had the worst birthday ever, I was depressed the whole day. :-( I don't understand... ------------ Sent: Monday, September 01, 2008 10:21 PM Subject: .. I just called you on the phone to talk to you. I'm just so sad... ------------ Sent: Monday, September 01, 2008 10:33 PM Subject: Re: Re: I do appreciate the pictures and scans--even if I'd seen a couple of them before, I certainly don't mind seeing them again. Oh, I don't get it... What's going on? ------------ I don't know... Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 You sent him 5 emails begging for a happy birthday? He really does have you well trained. Relax! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted September 2, 2008 Author Share Posted September 2, 2008 You sent him 5 emails begging for a happy birthday? He really does have you well trained. Relax! Just feeling sick today CE. Is like I want to take some poison and die. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted September 2, 2008 Author Share Posted September 2, 2008 Btw, And old best friend from HS called me from South Am, and even though I was happy she called.. Still it didn't cheered me up. Nothing could cheer me up. I was going to go to dinner with my son and told him I just didn't feel like it. My parents called and asked how I was doing, I told them awful. Sigh Link to post Share on other sites
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