Denver guy responded

[Kasan]

I think that the only thing that makes sense on this thread is Amorabunda's post.

 

Ariadne, I really like you and your quirkiness, and like some of the others on here, I wonder about the ramifications of your obsession with Denver Guy.

 

I really do see that nothing I can say will make you see how this obsession has impacted yours and your son's life.

 

I am not sure how you came to this point in your life where you let some phantom love affair define your happiness and your reason for being.

 

It is hard for me to reconcile this image that I have of you and your obsession with DG with your always interesting, and sometimes controversial responses to other threads.

 

I refuse to feed into this anymore Ariadne, as I think you deserve better....................

[Ariadne]

What is unfortunate is that her son is witnessing this and subltley taking on these issues for himself. It will most likely play out later in his future relationships.

A soul that prefers to be sacrificed a martyr on the alter of unrequited love. Even clings to it.

 

My son was the one consoling me. He told me that he was going to write.

 

And I fight for the things I love...

 

DG was engaged for the past two years, but now he is a free man.

 

I believed I could win his love.

[Ariadne]

It is hard for me to reconcile this image that I have of you and your obsession with DG with your always interesting, and sometimes controversial responses to other threads.

 

Thanks Kasan.

 

Well, everything was going well and we were writing regularly until he blew me on my birthday.

 

Maybe it's too recent, I don't know. It was just yesterday..

[Nevermind]

You did not break up, nor will you ever. You can not. DG won't.

 

DG did not end his relationship with Doll Girl because of you. Your fight was and is futile. They ended it because of other issues.

 

Not saying this to be mean, just speaking what I perceive to be the truth.

 

Btw: what do you mean, your son was going to write?

[Ariadne]

DG did not end his relationship with Doll Girl because of you. Your fight was and is futile. They ended it because of other issues.

 

Btw: what do you mean, your son was going to write?

 

I never thought that he broke up with doll girl because of me. They broke up for other reasons and he told me about that.

 

My son said that he was going to write, meaning, DG was going to write to me.

[Ariadne]

So he's going to write. Big f'ing deal! His writings are mere recitations of his goings on and nothing more. He feels nothing for you except, perhaps, pity. You have GOT to let go of this. STOP IT! You will die old and alone, never having felt true love, and you're dragging your son through all of this delusional behavior with you. Do you not realize this is going to be a part of shaping his personality and how he deals with relationships/people? Or do you just not care?

 

You need serious help if you cannot rid yourself of this behavior on your own. Find it before it's too late.

 

I don't know how to stop.

 

He didn't talk to me for two whole years when he was engaged, and I thought about him every second of the day for the two years.

 

[Ariadne]

So do you realize that the hold this has on you is not healthy? You must. If this were someone else on LS, wouldn't you tell them so? Take hold of your life, A. You can do it! If you need help doing it, then seek it. It's your life! The only one you get. Are you going to let someone else live it for you?

 

No, I just hope that his hold that he has on me is going to turn into something wonderful, greater than life.

 

The only person I that seemed to be in a somewhat similar situation here was sedgwick, and I told her to talk to her guy. To get closer. Is like she needs him.

[Ariadne]

But that's what everyone with unrequited love hopes! Look at this realistically. How many years has this been dragging on? And what have you shown the man? Someone to be pitied (and perhaps even feared), not loved. His e-mails have never held anything in them that would give any normal person the slightest glimmer of hope that there could someday be more. You'll always and forever be nothing more to him than what you are now. He's made it very clear that you are not a romantic interest for him, yet you choose to waste your life and allow your son to watch you do it.

 

It may be.

 

It may be that for him I'm just someone to fear and pity.

[whichwayisup]

No, I just hope that his hold that he has on me is going to turn into something wonderful, greater than life.

 

But he has told you over and over and over and over and over again that he isn't interested in you romantically, and he isn't interested in a relationship with you.

 

It isn't ever going to happen. Sorry A, but the more time and energy you waste wishing this guy was going to be your "everything" in real life and offline, create a life together, the longer you'll be miserable and caught in this fantasy web based on your hopes.

[Ariadne]

But he has told you over and over and over and over and over again that he isn't interested in you romantically, and he isn't interested in a relationship with you.

 

It isn't ever going to happen. Sorry A, but the more time and energy you waste wishing this guy was going to be your "everything" in real life and offline, create a life together, the longer you'll be miserable and caught in this fantasy web based on your hopes.

 

Oh, DG doesn't know what he wants.

 

He wanted a relationship forever with his ex and waited for 15 years and it was a total crap. They were both miserable.

 

I'll show him what true love can be like. I'll win his heart.

 

You guys can be negative if you want, but I'm not.

 

(But now this bday thing just sucked, he'd better make it up)

[whichwayisup]

I have no idea how to respond to this. I'll just say that you're going to be miserable waiting......

[LucreziaBorgia]

I'll show him what true love can be like. I'll win his heart.

 

What is your gameplan?

[Art_Critic]

He wanted a relationship forever with his ex and waited for 15 years and it was a total crap. They were both miserable.

 

and how many years have you been waiting ?.. you have wanted a relationship with him forever too..

 

Maybe you should learn from his mistake..

[Ariadne]

What is your gameplan?

 

I don't have any game or plan or anything like that.

 

But as long as I feel the way that I do, I'll keep on writing as long as he is ok with that.

 

I'll just hope and pray that God has for us something wonderful in the mean time.

 

And if it's meant to be, then I'll be the one to win his heart.

 

:love:

[Lishy]

I feel so very sad for you A, I really do

 

It is easy for us to see as we do not feel the way you do and when we tell you what we think I can tell you do not hear it at all

 

I do not have anything else to say as it has all been said and you have not heard one word

[Ariadne]

and how many years have you been waiting ?.. you have wanted a relationship with him forever too..

 

Maybe you should learn from his mistake..

 

Oh, is not like I'm waiting really.

 

Is more like I'm drowning in this feeling.

 

And I don't plan to change that, it'll have happen by itself.

[Ariadne]

I can't believe I wasted a layer of skin cells on the ends of my fingertips to even participate in this thread.

 

I'm sorry.

 

But no matter how much I'll try and "rationalize" anything, it doesn't work.

 

Is not a mental thing. Is beyond that.

 

I appreciate your posts though, thank you.

[Ariadne]

I can't believe I wasted a layer of skin cells on the ends of my fingertips to even participate in this thread.

 

Actually, you brought a good point and it wasn't wasted.

 

I just sent him this email a little while ago:

 

------------

 

Sent: Tuesday, September 02, 2008 11:51 AM

Subject: Re: hey

 

-And what have you shown the man? Someone to be pitied (and perhaps even feared), not loved.

 

It may be. It may be that for him I'm just someone to fear and pity.

 

-It is hon. Save the rest of your life. For you. For your son.

 

-----

 

Is this what I inspire in you?

 

What do I inspire in you?

 

And don't tell me my 'qualities.'

 

---------------

 

But I doubt he'll reply.

[Ariadne]

I feel so very sad for you A, I really do

 

It is easy for us to see as we do not feel the way you do and when we tell you what we think I can tell you do not hear it at all

 

I do not have anything else to say as it has all been said and you have not heard one word

 

Thank you.

 

I appreciate the caring and support.

[LucreziaBorgia]

As long as he keeps replying, he is bringing it on himself I suppose.

[Ariadne]

They are yin to each other's yang... These two are symbiotic...Ariadne and DG are each the other's "drug,"

 

You did not break up, nor will you ever. You can not. DG won't.

 

This is the most romantic ever.

[whichwayisup]

You did not break up, nor will you ever.

 

How is that romantic A? NM means, you can't break up because you two were and still aren't a couple. You are his ego feed, just like he is your addiction/obsession.

[tinke]

I had noticed the sporadic mention of DG throughout these threads and was pleased to see no one really replied.

When I saw the post from Amorabunda, I thought, ok, A. didn't get the response she wanted...so now she is posting under another name (perhaps again). Attention seeking, once again! Poor me, life sucks!

 

"I can't stop". No, you cannot simply because you CHOOSE not to. Personally, this thread annoys me to no end. Fix me, but I am not willing to change myself. It's the same ole nonsense from the previous thread (book). I have a feeling this would abort, if the gain of the attention was not present. There is no apparent want for change, nor to hear views, etc., no desire to seek help, just....talk without purpose.

 

Very nice that you openly state but do not see any problem with your son parenting you.

Why does it all surround YOU? No remorse for blowing your son off for a delusion.

Well, he must be exhausted...and guess what...I am sure you can count on him much more than this paper fantasy you have, but yet, he gets put aside. Why? "because I didn't feel like it." Again, all about YOU, how surprising!

 

It would be wise to seek professional help and allow your son his youth!

[Ariadne]

"I can't stop". No, you cannot simply because you CHOOSE not to.

 

Why would I want to stop anything? I'm happy to be writing with DG.

 

I didn't hear from him for two years.

[Ariadne]

Anyway,

 

I heard from DG again this morning:

 

---------

 

Sent: Wednesday, September 03, 2008 9:43 AM

Subject: Re: ..

 

No, not mean, but obviously unexcuseably forgetful that day. I'd been dealing with all the movie stuff and the weekend went by in a sort of blur and I hadn't checked messages or seen your emails. Then at 4AM, I thought, "oh, no!" and got to a computer to check email. I am sorry and I was not trying to be mean.

 

Sometimes when we're going between day and night shoots I have a pretty hard time keeping track of what day it is or how many days have passed...

 

---------

 

And I apologized to him for all this mess, etc etc.

 

So, we are cool...