Boyfriend does not want sex anymore!

[Le_Confused]

Hey forum.... I am back. I am a little confused, and it's been a concern of mine for awhile so I thought you guys could help me best. I have been in this relationship for a little over a year with this guy. To sum it up... my boyfriend does not seem to care to have sex with me anymore... at all.

 

Things started up fast in the beginning, meaning we had sex with each other in the first month of knowing each other. Him being a virgin, and me had previously been active with 1 other person before I met him. It's been so long that I am getting a bit frustrated with him. I only see posts on here about men getting frustrated with their wives, but I am 21 years old and he is younger by a few months... and well, I don't get it?

 

Our privacy is and was always limited, but that never seemed to stop us in the beginning. He doesn't want to move in with me, because he needs to save up money at his parents. I am leaving by next Summer, whether he likes it or not. I will be living 250 miles away.

 

His concern is 'privacy' and being comfortable in a place we have sex. This was not an issue before... it's understandable that having sex, in like a car... would be raunchy - but we've had sex in so many different places in public in the beginning.

 

Why is sex a bigger deal to me than it is to him?

 

I'd like to think I am a fairly attractive person, so I don't know if it's just he's not attracted to me anymore... He says it's definitely not that. I am getting so frustrated with this!

 

I don't think it's fair that he tries to grope me in his vehicle, or in his room.. and then sends me home, and I go home frustrated as hell, because he says "It's impractical for us right now... no privacy"

 

I'm about to tell him to just not touch me anymore at all, unless it's a hug at most. Is it silly that I am this frustrated about this topic?

[carhill]

Not silly that you're frustrated, at all.

 

If you and he can't talk about your sexual life and figure out a way to meet each other's needs, you won't have a R for very long. He sounds immature, assuming he is attracted to you; I know because I was immature at that age in how to express myself sexually.

 

My advice is to tell him exactly what you want, and do not give him negative messages. If he's attracted to you and interested in you, he will make an effort. If not, well, you have an answer

[AAlike]

Guys go through spells sometimes where they have problems making there man parts work i went through it at a young age and it frustrated me. So if the last couple times yall have had sex if he has had a problem getting it up or keeping it up he might be so worried about it he cant have sex. but if he hasnt had that problem then he might just feel sex isnt that important to him. but it definitly needs to be solved quick he has to know how much it bothers you.

 

Yeah, I think that there's a good chance that he's going through something that he's struggling with internally and is not ready or able to share with you - maybe not exactly what manup said but something along those lines. Otherwise it just doesn't seem to add up, especially at your ages.