Kamille Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I've been kind of oversensitive lately, especially when it comes to a perticular segment of my group of friends. I've come to the conclusion that I have a few friends who truly care for me and demoted the others to good acquaintances. Anyways, today is one the really great friend's birthday and I had said I would make her a cake. I wrote to a few of the people we knew in common, called a friend we had in common inviting all to come over for cake, another dinner dish, and whatever else they felt like bringing. The friend I called said she couldn't come over because she had a meeting at 7pm. My friend who's birthday it is just called to say they would be late because they're all going to bbq at the girl I called's house and then they would come over here for cake (at 7pm), so good news, I didn't have to provide dinner. I'm kind of pissed. Why wasn't I invited to the bbq? Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 The friend I called said she couldn't come over because she had a meeting at 7pm. My friend who's birthday it is just called to say they would be late because they're all going to bbq at the girl I called's house and then they would come over here for cake (at 7pm), so good news, I didn't have to provide dinner. I'm kind of pissed. Why wasn't I invited to the bbq? That sucks, Kam. I would be pissed off if it happened to me, too. Is there any way you can talk to the friend who lied to you about the meeting and ask her why she felt the need to lie and not invite you? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 That sucks and you have every right to feel hurt. So, your friend told you about the BBQ and the other girl lied to you about a 7pm meeting... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted June 24, 2008 Author Share Posted June 24, 2008 That sucks, Kam. I would be pissed off if it happened to me, too. Is there any way you can talk to the friend who lied to you about the meeting and ask her why she felt the need to lie and not invite you? She still has the meeting. They were all just going to move here after the meeting. But anyways, crisis averted, she just called and invited me over and apologized and explained what happened. Basically, we will go to her place, bbq, she will leave for the meeting and we will keep partying. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Can I ask what happened? Glad it got sorted out. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 That sucks Kam, but glad it got sorted out in the end. Unfortunately I have had similar things happen to me in the last few years, I don't think people were intentionally being mean, but a few "friends" have been relegated to the "aquaintance" category as a result. (They don't actually know, i just stopped putting in so much effort) It hurts, and I still ask myself what I did wrong, but you know what- its not you/me, its THEM. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 She still has the meeting. They were all just going to move here after the meeting. But anyways, crisis averted, she just called and invited me over and apologized and explained what happened. Basically, we will go to her place, bbq, she will leave for the meeting and we will keep partying. Well I'm glad that got resolved quickly. It was a bit odd though. Link to post Share on other sites
Pedigree Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Unfortunately I have had similar things happen to me in the last few years, I don't think people were intentionally being mean, but a few "friends" have been relegated to the "aquaintance" category as a result. (They don't actually know, i just stopped putting in so much effort) For my part, since I'm a "very few real friends, craploads of acquaintances" kind of person, I would actually discriminate on who to invite based on their closeness to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted June 25, 2008 Author Share Posted June 25, 2008 Can I ask what happened? Glad it got sorted out. Complicated. I will use pseudonyms. Yesterday was Kate's b-day. Kate is one of my closest friends right now. We jokingly made a deal awhile back that I would bake her a b-day cake. Kate and I have a few friends-acquaintances in common. I had invited those friends-a to come over for cake, perhaps dinner (I wrote, and I'll figure out something we can eat for dinner). Monica is a friend Kate and I have in common. She had a meeting at 7 pm. Right now, Julie lives at Monica's. Julie just got back from Brazil two days ago. Julie had invited two out of the six people I had invited over for dinner. They rationalized: since it isn't sure Kam will make dinner, let's grab a quick bite here and then go over. They eventually invited Kate, and then called me when they realized that it was turning into a bigger dinnert and then we decided together to move the whole thing over at Monica's. So it all worked out and Julie apologized profusely for kidnapping the party but, more importantly, I had a great time. And Kate, great friend that she is, decided last minute (after she was done work where she was unreachable) that she would skip dinner at Monica's and Julie's and come straight to my place because she didn't want me having dinner alone, but didn't know Julie and Monica had gotten a hold of me. It all worked out. We had a great time. Unfortunately I have had similar things happen to me in the last few years, I don't think people were intentionally being mean, but a few "friends" have been relegated to the "aquaintance" category as a result. (They don't actually know, i just stopped putting in so much effort) It hurts, and I still ask myself what I did wrong, but you know what- its not you/me, its THEM. That's exactly how I think about it: I know they didn't do anything to hurt me, but I do have moments when I get sensitive over it. I don't think I did anything wrong or that they did anything wrong, it's just that our lives have gone in different directions. It made me wish that friendships - and love - ran deeper then that. (One of the friends in question, who wasn't invited yesterday since she doesn't know Kate, was someone I called my sister at one point.) Link to post Share on other sites
Prodigal Princess Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 Oh my god, us girls! High school never really ends, does it... Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 I get kind of pissed off when people post problems that have easy resolutions, and are basically the fruit of jumping to conclusions. To be honest, it would be better for everybody if these sorts of threads were just deleted posthaste, as they are essentially a complete waste of LS members' mental bandwith. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 Monica is a friend Kate and I have in common. She had a meeting at 7 pm. Right now, Julie lives at Monica's. Julie just got back from Brazil two days ago. Julie had invited two out of the six people I had invited over for dinner. They rationalized: since it isn't sure Kam will make dinner, let's grab a quick bite here and then go over. They eventually invited Kate Glad it worked out Kamille! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted June 26, 2008 Author Share Posted June 26, 2008 Oh my god, us girls! High school never really ends, does it... A guy friend of mine once said that the city where we live is high school forever. Everybody knows everybody and everytime you go out, you find yourself in the cafeteria. Link to post Share on other sites
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