Leap Year Proposal

[daisywindmill]

As it's a Leap Year in 2004 I was wondering if any of the girls here have ever proposed to a man? Or are there any fellas about that were proposed to by their girl?

 

If so, or if anyone has any cool ideas about it, I'd love to hear them.

 

Also, how would you broach the subject of a pre-nuptial agreement without sounding negative about the relationship or unromantic?

 

And, if the man says no, but you are living together, or about to, how do you deal with that?

 

And .... lol .... what about an engagement ring? Does the woman buy her own? Do you buy him one?

 

Blimey, what a palava! hehehehehe but serious questions nonetheless ....

 

[Tony T]

1. "Or are there any fellas about that were proposed to by their girl?"

 

I have been proposed to several times, but in subtle ways. Woman usually do the proposing anyway via hints. The man usually formally proposes at some point. There's no problem with a woman coming right out and asking, whether it's leap year or not. This is the 21st century.

 

2. "If so, or if anyone has any cool ideas about it, I'd love to hear them."

 

What kind of cool ideas are you looking for.

 

3. "Also, how would you broach the subject of a pre-nuptial agreement without sounding negative about the relationship or unromantic?"

 

The only way you can approach this is straight away. If both people are young and have no assets, there is no reason for a prenuptual agreement. But if one or both parties are older...have assets and children...then a prenuptual is a must. Most older people will understand this.

 

4. "And, if the man says no, but you are living together, or about to, how do you deal with that?"

 

If it's a "no" just for the time being, then you give him more time to be ready for such a major step. But if he shows no inclination to ever want to get married and that's what you want, pack your things up and hit the road.

 

5. "And .... lol .... what about an engagement ring? Does the woman buy her own? Do you buy him one?"

 

The man usually buys the ring after consulting his lady on what kind she would like. Often they shop together to find just the right one. But I don't think it's right for the lady to have to pay for this. She should, however, spring for the man's wedding band.

[daisywindmill]

Tony, many thanks for the response. I have taken in much of what you said.

 

Part of the problem is that when I first met him I told him that I would never marry again. I was so adamant on this. Mind you, when I first met him I was also of the opinion that I would never live with a man again! Funny how you change your ideas. Anyway, he still thinks I'm against marriage and I don't know how to let him know that I'm not anymore.

 

So, I may just propose to him, next year, so ....

 

As for cool ideas - well, setting for the proposal, words to use, you know, that sort of thing.

[yes]

i always imagine proposals to be something simple... like, you're cleaning up after dinner together, and somebody just says "we should get married, huh?", and the reply is - "hmm, yeah!... tomorrow sounds good"

 

i don't think soap-operish proposals on one knee & all that is worth it.

 

-yes

[owlscry]

i totally know what you are going through here daisy, because i've been thinking of popping the question to my live in boyfriend too!

 

i have so much more respect for guys now that i have been thinking about this. like you, i have been wondering how i can make it special... in a non cheesy man friendly kind of way.

 

i have no real idea about the ring, but i think we are supposed to get them their wedding band and propose with that... but then, what about our ring? do they wear their wedding band from then on? does this make him feel like he has to now run out and get us one and that he is now forced to propose as well?!? it's so confusing!

 

i would have to say i don't agree with yes's simplicity... i would want it to be special and memorable, i'm thinking about calling the local t.v. station! ok, maybe that's a bit too much !

[Chris1708]

Hi,

 

I am Christine.

 

2004 is the big year for me too. After 7 years of being together and having blown all my chances of him asking by presenting a very anti-marriage front, I am taking control!

 

 

The message is a bit long, but I have done a bit of research and hated the fact that I could not find much on the Internet about leap Year proposals. So here is the benefit of my hard work!

 

- It is ok to propose in 2004 and not just on 29th Feb. tha is definite info for the UK, not sure about the US though.

- Women do not have to give a ring, although when you get married you are supposed to at least buy him his wedding band.

- Normally when you propose and he says yes, he is committing to buy you a ring and you go to the shop and choose! I like this part very much.

 

However, I have got reservations about not buying anything showing that I really mean it and that I have taken serious steps to get him. After all I imagine a man as much as a woman really wants to feel desired.

 

A jeweller has recommended buying things like a nice watch or a chain. Just so that the man can wear a symbol of your engagement. Men given a wedding band are not supposed to wear it before the wedding.

 

In my situation, he already has a watch he loves and he hates jewellery, so I thought of two things I could do to make it special:

 

- buy the wedding band with an engraved message. We'll keep it in the box untill we marry but once we have he will always have a reminder that I asked him first!

(apparently, if you engrave it no jewellers will give a refund or take the ring back if he says no or if his finger grows from now to the wedding - an alternative seems to give the ring bare and have a small card in the box showing the message that will be engraved. Giving you the alternative to get another ring if he does not like it - Note that I am not even considering him refusing and having to get a refund!!!)

 

- Get some professionally printed card annoucing our engagement. I want to give him the card to open and show the pile pre-ordered and pre-printed, and in already stamped envoloppe asking if he agreed to post them with me. The message should be something simple but clearly saying to the world that you got engaged and state the date. This is a cheaper option, but I think as meaningful as the first one.

 

As to the ways to deliver, a few ideas I have gathered:

- in a hot tub with a good bottle of wine.

- in a sport's car hired for a week-end!

 

I think it is tricky to think of the delivery becasue girls tend to think romantic when guys only to it to please us, so I am not sure what would make a guy really go head over hills and feel real special. But I will not ask at home once I have finished the washing up! I am getting engaged too!

I guess a balance between what we both want is in order.

 

My plan:

 

He has always wanted to go on the trip of a life time. So we are going for 17 days to tour america!! For us brits it is pretty special. Landing San Frnacisco on 24th december I will keep quiet untill we reach the death valley on new year's eve.

I am booking a nice meal at the hotel and arranging to pick up a bottle of champagne two glasses and finding a spot on the edge of the hotel grounds, overlooking the desert. Then I am stuck, not quite sure what to say... at some point I'll toast the new year and a new beginning and will present the present and the engagement announcement card and say WILL YOU MARRY ME!

 

Early next morning I would love to walk down to the post office and send the cards to all our relatives in the UK and the rest of Europe. We are also leaving for Las Vegas that day and I will book a great show and party afterwards so that we can celbrate like crazy!

 

 

Hope this helps and that you can give me your opinion. As a guy, how does this appeal? Any ideas to refine it, what to say, what to engrave in the ring? Any other idea of meaningful things to give instead of those mentionned?

 

Cheers.

Christine.

[tish2523]

this is question I have know this guy for about 16 years and I am 32 now when I was 19 he asked me if I wanted to get merried at the time we both where in school and had too much I wanted to do befor I took that big step I still have feling for him as of today I never merried and neather has he should I ask him to merry me this leap year what should I do

 

trish

[CaterpillarGirl]

Originally posted by tish2523

this is question I have know this guy for about 16 years and I am 32 now when I was 19 he asked me if I wanted to get merried at the time we both where in school and had too much I wanted to do befor I took that big step I still have feling for him as of today I never merried and neather has he should I ask him to merry me this leap year what should I do

 

trish

 

Absolutely. It's a contigency pact you made. All vows must be honored!

 

Does every woman have a contigency guy? One who you'll marry if you're not married by such and such an age?

[Thinkalot]

Well, I'm too traditional to do the proposing, I want my guy to do that.

 

But good on you girls and good luck! And I'm all for romantic, elaborate proposals. Think of something fun and unique to surprise him.

[darlene]

Hi Darlene,

 

Christine I love your idea. I too have been dating the same guy and held marriage at a distance.

 

But this year on Feb. 29, 2004, I am going to make my move.

For the past 2 months I have been singing "I'm gonna getcha, I'm gonna getcha, look out boy cause I'm gonna getcha". This has been my way to prepare him for what's to come.

 

I've made reservations for brunch at a 5 star resturant on the water. I've hired a limo to pick him up at the house. On the seat will be a card telling him who to ask for when he reaches his final destination.

The person will take him to his seat and then I will show up and join him.

They have a paino player so he will be playing the song will you marry me Bill in the background, since his name is Bill.

 

Instead of giving him a ring, because he does not wear jewlery. I've decided to take a brass merry-go-round ring and have it put around the neck of the bottle of champagne with a note attached.

The brass ring as a great meaning between the the two of us. When I feel like I want for nothing, world outside is falling apart, and couples are fighting, I tell him that "I have the brass ring right here!"

That he's is my brass ring on the merry-go-round of life.

 

And after reading what you have planned, more thanever I truly want to do this. I love your idea of using engagement cards, I think I'll use that as the attach note.

 

I've talk male friends and they love my idea, so think men are romantic too.

[dyermaker]

Feb. 29th sounds like a good day, because the man goes three years without technically forgetting his annviersary before getting in trouble.

[town and country]

I too have a charming guy in my life, and after 4 years and a home together and all the trimmings I'm ready for marriage. I have dropped a load of hints and other people do too - this only leads to the following response:

 

"Every time someone asks when we're getting married - I'm adding a year!"

 

He doesn't like pressure and feels if he asks me now, it will seem as though he's been pressured, and it's not genuine - which I know is not true - it's just an ego thing. Would you guys out there agree?

 

So I might take things into my own hands. This means sacrificing the chance to be asked by him (which I know if he ever got round to it would be fabulous - he's creative) - unless of course he's heeded my warnings of late and gets on with it. I have been telling him about leap year traditions and he assures me he'd love to be asked!

 

So my question is to any guys reading this, or girls thinking about doing it too - do you mind your girlfriend "stealing your fire" - or is it a great thing to be asked? Would you want something really memorable, or just something simple?

 

Someone suggested holding up a sign that says "Wanna get married?" and asking him to read it out loud - then reply with "Yeah, that'd be great!"

 

I really hope I'll be let off the hook but Feb 29 is rolling round pretty quick!

[jenny]

Originally posted by yes

i always imagine proposals to be something simple... like, you're cleaning up after dinner together, and somebody just says "we should get married, huh?", and the reply is - "hmm, yeah!... tomorrow sounds good"

 

i don't think soap-operish proposals on one knee & all that is worth it.

 

-yes

 

i concur. i dig kitchen-sink minimalist chic; it's sophisticiated, and so real.

[carla]

I'm also going to pop the big question. I haven't desided whether it will be on v day or Feb 29. I will ask his mum when I call, for her blessing. I have picked out a nice men's diamond ring. This he can wear on another finger once we get married, it's also his birth stone. At christmas he bought me an engagement ring that I had my eye on,

thinking that after 6 1/2 years he may get the hint. I got the ring but no proposal. (His mum played hell with him) anyway we were talking the other night about valentines day and he told me that it is a leap year and that the woman is to be romantic and propose. Was that a hint or what? On one hand we have both have been marriage phobic, with us both being previously married but on the other hand "IF... we ever get married" we have the whole thing planned out. So I am in the process of making him a Welsh Love spoon (he's from Wales) The tradition of a love spoon is that a gentleman carves a spoon for the lady of his admiration, this spoon has symbols of meaning to them. I am not a carver, but my bf has recently started carving and has shown me a few tips. Anyway I have the scoop carved out and the rest of the symbols will be tole painted on a plain flat handle. Starting at the top will be a Welsh Dragon which symbolizes Wales and my bf, next is a Maple Leaf to symbolize him coming to Canada and meeting me, a Canadian, then two keys with a lock = we hold the key to each others heart, love birds meaning we are lovers, Celtic knot for our never ending love and then the bells symbolizing marriage. When I give him the spoon I will have the symbols covered and revel each one when it comes to the bells I will then give him the ring and ask him to marry me. I just don't know what the setting will be. Does a woman need to get down on 1 knee? Anyone have any ideas for a setting please let me know. Good Luck to all of you fellow ladies proposing to the love of your lives.

[ladymamoru]

[color=darkblue]We've been together a while and we've talked about marriage and weddings and kids and our family and we've talked about engagement. I know that we're both ready to spend the rest of our lives with each other. And I've considered proposing to him, however he's very old-fashioned in the idea that the guy should do the proposing. I've been waiting for two years for him to pop the question and for us to actually cement some of the dreams that we keep on talking about.

 

But he hasn't and I'm ready to go out and purchase a ring for him and propose but should I still do that knkowing that he wants to be the one proposing?[/color]

[katie79]

Why don't you throw a hint you want him to propose to you soon? Or just tell him you think it's time to get engaged. I don't know how long you've been together, but since you guys live together, that's just a big a committment as marriage itself. Marriage is living with someone; you are sharing your personal life with that person everyday. It's up to you if you want to be the one to trigger marriage, but whether he says yes to proposing to you soon or no to your proposal, it's time to pack your bags and leave. He has no problem living with you, but marrying you is a problem? I don't know. Doesn't sound cool. Sounds to me when either man or woman are willing to live with their partner but not marry them, they just want the opportunity to bail when times get hard. It just says, "You're not worth putting up with for that long, this is just for fun babe, when things get hard or serious, I'm outta here!" This is not they type of person you want to share your time with no longer if they refuse a proposal in any way, shape or form. Don't have a negative attitude either, maybe he can't wait to marry you