Feeling Trapped

[RubyTuesday]

Hello All,

 

I am new to the forum, and this is my first post. I am writing because I have nowhere to turn no one has any answers for me, so I am hoping someone can help me. Here goes nothing..

 

I met my husband through the person I was dating at the time, we had a strong sexual connection and I dumped my boyfriend to start dating him. I was 18 at the time, he 23. I immediately feel head over heels in love with him, butterflies in stomach, etc. He proposed 6 months later, and we married a year after that I was 19.

 

We always had a turbulent relationship, as I was still growing up. He had a good job, and I stayed at home and didn't go to college because at the time I didn't think I was smart enough to go.

 

We were married for a little over 2 years when our little girl was born. She was very sick as a baby, and caused a huge amount of strain on our relationship, plus we moved cross country to where we have no family, friends, but for a really good job that my husband loves. After my daughter arrived I started to resent my husband for all the things I considered him to be doing wrong, where as before I would let them go, like forgetting my birthday, not know my favorite flower, over-working when not necessary, etc.

 

Now my daughter is 1.5 years old and I feel completely trapped. I hate my life. I have everything, a healthy child, loving supportive husband, I stay at home not having to work. I realize my life is wonderful yet I feel so empty.

 

When my husband touches me or says he loves me I feel nothing. I am 23, and I resent him so much even though I know I shouldn't. I feel like a part of my life was taken away so I could be a wife to him when I should have been finding myself and figuring out who I was beyond just someone's wife.

 

I feel so empty inside and I have felt this way for over a year. I feel like my husband doesn't know me at all, and that he doesn't try to know me at all, which leads me to further disappointment and emptiness. I go to counseling and so does he with me and we have been for 2 months, its not working. I don't feel any different. I have been evaluated by doctors to see if i am clinically depressed, to which they say that I am depressed but not due to a chemical imbalance.

 

I have tried doing things for myself volunteering, working a part time job, and now going back to school. None of these things make the feeling of missing out and wanting to do things on my own and be independent go away. I live 2 states away from my parents, and if I were to separate that is where I would have to live for financial reasons. My husband has basically laid out 3 options for me:

 

1. Stay with my parents, take care of our daughter, and he will fly to see her when he can, even though this will be a financial burden.

 

2.Stay with my parents, my daughter will live with my husband and she will be sent to preschool, which she never has been before.

 

3. Stay with my husband, keep trying to work things out

 

I feel so trapped, I love my daughter more then anything in the world, and I have never spent more then 4 hours away from her. Can anyone tell me how to make this void disappear? Every since my daughter was born I feel like I realized all the mistakes I made, getting married too young, not doing things for my self enjoyment, depending solely on my husband for happiness.

 

Please if anyone has advice, I could really use it.

[SingleDad]

Seems like the issues are in your head - not so much with your marriage - you have a loving understanding husband and a great daughter. You may need to change your viewpoint. Focus on the positives in your life. Start doing things for yourself - things you enjoy - go out with friends, etc. Find yourself - no one should rely on their spouse for happiness

 

Stay with your husband and keep your marriage together - re-kindle it.

 

You should also take a vacation with your daughter to see your family. Stop feeling like a trapped victim.

[RubyTuesday]

Seems like the issues are in your head - not so much with your marriage - you have a loving understanding husband and a great daughter. You may need to change your viewpoint. Focus on the positives in your life. Start doing things for yourself - things you enjoy - go out with friends, etc. Find yourself - no one should rely on their spouse for happiness

 

Stay with your husband and keep your marriage together - re-kindle it.

 

You should also take a vacation with your daughter to see your family. Stop feeling like a trapped victim.

 

No offense but your response seems mean-spirited. I said that I am trying desperately to stop the way I am feeling. Telling me to stop playing the trapped victim and just think positivitly is not helpful. If I could just snap out of it and just think only positive thoughts I would. I have been on vacation, I am right now with my daughter visiting family and friends and its not helping.

[sumdude]

Happiness or contentment has to start from within. We can go through life looking at situations we might be in and people around us and think they are the cause of our sorrows. Most of the time it's how we perceive or react to the situations we are in.

 

As far as the past and past decisions ... they are done and gone. We cannot live in the past or the future .. only in the present. Try to drive your car while looking in the rear view mirror at the turn you wish you made... you're only going to wreck the car.

 

Regret is like quicksand.. once you get stuck in it, all it does is bring you down until you can't see or breathe.

 

These are lessons I've had to learn and am still learning. I often get stuck in my head thinking about woulda, coulda, shoulda and totally fail to enjoy the moment I am in.

 

Try mediatation...

 

You could leave your marriage yet you would still be stuck with the thoughts in your head

[Paralyzed]

You were married much too young. I was with the same woman since High School. We were together for 15 years, and married for 1 year. We are currently seperated. Everything I experienced in my twenties was with the same person. I feel like my whole identity is with my ex because of that. It has made it extremely hard to move on. The reason i am telling you this is....if you aren't happy now you should get out. Another 10 years and your twenties will be gone. How will you feel then? Do it now while your child is still young.

[SingleDad]

Sorry - I had no intention of being mean spirited... From reading your post, I got the impression that other areas of your marriage are ok... i.e. "loving supportive husband" "Healthy child" "I have everything"...

 

Yet the way you are thinking and feeling - you are not happy with your life... When I said it's in your head... I mean, it is the way you are thinking about your life... Your expectations are not being met...

 

But are your expectations reasonable?

 

Realize that You are the only one who can make you happy... don't expect that someone else will give your happiness. Happiness is an emotion that is inside your mind - how your react or feel - no one has control over your emotions but you...

 

Start to change the way you look at things... Glass half full approach.

 

Watch things in your daughter... savor the little things she does... savor those moments... first steps, first words, playing with toys, watching her nap... watch how quickly she learns. Savor 5 minutes of quiet time with a cup of tea, etc. etc.

 

I am not saying that changing your mindset is easy... I am having a great deal of difficulty with it myself... I just started a legal separation with my STBXW... she bought a house and is moving out this weekend. It is pure hell - I want to save my marriage... I have a 2.5yo daughter... believe me I do not want this..

 

But think about what you have now vs. what a divorce would be like... sometimes one does not realize what they have until it is taken away from them... divorce would mean not being with your daughter half of the time, living at your parents, etc...

 

Seems easier to try to change the way you look at things... start by savoring the little moments...

[Chrome Barracuda]

Why do you resent him for doing everything right???

 

There are worse men in the world to be married to. You have issues being comiited because you want to run the streets, so called finding yourself.

 

If you want to leave I think you should leave with not much except the clothes on his back and let him keep the house.

 

All in all, what is the real reason you want to leave? Be honest. There's someone else isnt there.

[RubyTuesday]

Why do you resent him for doing everything right???

 

There are worse men in the world to be married to. You have issues being comiited because you want to run the streets, so called finding yourself.

 

If you want to leave I think you should leave with not much except the clothes on his back and let him keep the house.

 

All in all, what is the real reason you want to leave? Be honest. There's someone else isnt there.

 

I'm not saying that my husband is an angel, he disappoints and saddens me frequently, because at times he is the most selfish person I know, but I refuse to blame him for my unhappiness. I am not going to slam him, he is a good person and works hard for our family. I have so much respect and admiration for him, his work, and education.

 

The past five years of my life I have being solely dedicated to taking care of him while he went through graduate school, getting higher up on the corporate ladder, and now solely dedicated to taking care our daughter.

 

I never went to college despite him getting 2 additional degrees, never worked despite him having a very high up position in work. He said he never wanted me to be stressed out about having to work and money, which I believe he truly did/does feel that way.

 

The problem is that I have nothing for myself. Taking care of my daughter and my husband is not enough for me, I feel incomplete and disappointed in myself. I am going back to school in the evenings in August.

 

The reason I feel trapped is I have no college education, no job experience, so I truly have no way to support myself and my daughter on my own.

 

And I don't want anything from my husband, I don't want the house, or anything in it. The only thing I want is for us to somehow work out how we would share custody of our daughter since I would have to live in another state. I would have to live in another state with my parents because I don't want to put the financial burden on him to have to pay for a separate residence for me, which I feel is not fair. We can't sell our house because the market is so bad, and its most cost effective for me to take care of our daughter then to send her to daycare.

 

Sadly, it took my daughter being born for me to realize that I need to be more then just a housewife, and that I don't ever want to have another child with him because of the way he treated me. I have always been second to him, his career, and I thought I could spend my life supporting him and that would make me happy but its not enough. I don't want anything from him, I just want to not be sad and disappointed in myself everyday. I have talked to him about this and he has said he just wants me to be happy, and that if I want to leave then thats fine, he just wants sole custody of our daughter if I leave.

[TrustInYourself]

Your husband's response shows his love for you. You have to be honest with yourself and him about the way you feel. It's really unfortunate, since you have a daugther and you got married so young.

 

I'm in the same situation, opposite perspective. I would do anything for my wife to be happy. I have made many mistakes and beat down on our love. I've taken her for granted and now it's past the point of no return. Yet she cares deeply for me and is trying to make things work, even though her heart says no it can't.

 

I hurt inside every day, but I go on with life. Your husband and daughter will do the same. Perhaps with some time and independence you can find yourself and your happiness and realize your husband truly loves you and just wants to add to your happiness.

 

Take care.

[Kasan]

As someone who married young and has been married forever, I can empathize with how you are feeling. Most of us have felt the way that you are feeling more than once in a marriage. Your feelings aren't unique at all.

 

So with that being said, can I ask you what your expectations of marriage were? Did you give any thought to how you would get through the hard times? What does the term "independence" mean to you? How will living at home with your parents help you accomplish your goal of being independent? How could you even contemplate leaving your child behind with your husband?

 

Okay--here comes the harsh part........My dear, it is time for you to grow up! Plain and simple. Your life hasn't ended because you are married with a child, it is just different. You are still you, with the man that you married. We just don't wake up and feel comfortable with the roles we are living, we need to grow into them.

 

All I can say to you, is it does get easier, you will grow and mature, and what was so important to you in your 20's isn't in your 30's or 40's.

[TrustInYourself]

As someone who married young and has been married forever, I can empathize with how you are feeling. Most of us have felt the way that you are feeling more than once in a marriage. Your feelings aren't unique at all.

 

So with that being said, can I ask you what your expectations of marriage were? Did you give any thought to how you would get through the hard times? What does the term "independence" mean to you? How will living at home with your parents help you accomplish your goal of being independent? How could you even contemplate leaving your child behind with your husband?

 

Okay--here comes the harsh part........My dear, it is time for you to grow up! Plain and simple. Your life hasn't ended because you are married with a child, it is just different. You are still you, with the man that you married. We just don't wake up and feel comfortable with the roles we are living, we need to grow into them.

 

All I can say to you, is it does get easier, you will grow and mature, and what was so important to you in your 20's isn't in your 30's or 40's.

 

Maybe with some time she will understand this. I think people have to come to terms with what you've said on their own, in their own way.

[RubyTuesday]

As someone who married young and has been married forever, I can empathize with how you are feeling. Most of us have felt the way that you are feeling more than once in a marriage. Your feelings aren't unique at all.

 

So with that being said, can I ask you what your expectations of marriage were? Did you give any thought to how you would get through the hard times? What does the term "independence" mean to you? How will living at home with your parents help you accomplish your goal of being independent? How could you even contemplate leaving your child behind with your husband?

 

Okay--here comes the harsh part........My dear, it is time for you to grow up! Plain and simple. Your life hasn't ended because you are married with a child, it is just different. You are still you, with the man that you married. We just don't wake up and feel comfortable with the roles we are living, we need to grow into them.

 

All I can say to you, is it does get easier, you will grow and mature, and what was so important to you in your 20's isn't in your 30's or 40's.

 

My parents have been married 35 years, I have realistic expectations of marriage, you have good and bad years, weeks where you don't talk or are unhappy. Independence to me means not having to depend on my husband to take care of me financially. My parents are home more so they can help take care of my daughter so I can work and go to school, my husband works long hours. I have not ever considered just abandoning my daughter, although this is what my husband wants, thats WHY I haven't left and am trying to find a way to make this better.

 

So in ten, twenty years, everything will be better and I wont feel this way? How can you guarantee this? What if I look back and think I should have left then, like I look back now and think that I should have never gotten married in the first place. Please, don't tell me to grow up. I have sacrificed so much for my family. If I was immature I wouldn't be here trying to get help, I wouldn't be going to counseling, I wouldn't be trying to do all these things to find happiness within myself. I would have just took off.

[SingleDad]

Seems like you fell into a life for your self that you now think you do not want.

 

You can't live without your daughter, but your husband will fight for sole custody. Talking about moving states away to parents house to raise your daughter, yet going back to school. Not wanting anything from husband, including a place to live.

 

You definately need to talk with a lawyer to get a clearer picture of what kind of custody you might get (school with you, summers with Dad, etc). Husband may try to use your going back to school and not having a house to fight for that sole custody. You may learn the legal result is not what you want either.

 

Maybe you just need to find other activities that you enjoy doing (volunteering, church, athletics, hobbies) - try to satisfy your own needs and not just those of your husband and daughter... If you can't do that for yourself you will have difficulty doing it for others.

[Kasan]

So in ten, twenty years, everything will be better and I wont feel this way? How can you guarantee this? What if I look back and think I should have left then, like I look back now and think that I should have never gotten married in the first place.

 

I honestly don't know if what you are feeling now is how you will feel ten or twenty years down the road.

 

I do know that life doesn't end because you are married with a child. It is just different.

 

You can become anything you want to become and do whatever you want with your life even though you are married.

 

I just don't see why it has to be an either, or type of situation.

 

And....you never answered my question about what your expectations of marriage were.

[TrustInYourself]

There has to be love and understanding in a marriage. Your needs have to be met. There are steps to bring back the marriage, but you have to be willing to work on it.

 

First step is realizing what needs are not being met by your husband. Why are they important to you. What does he need to do to meet those needs.

 

This is common sense cognitive behavioral approach to marriage. Identify what makes you happy and what makes you love your husband and do more of it. Small changes, eventually equal big changes in the way we feel over time. Just the same way, those small things over time destroyed your love, small things over time can rebuild love.

 

It's up to you how much of your soul you want to invest into your marriage. Atm, your perspective is going to be "blurred" by your feelings of unhappiness and need for independence.

 

Let me know. I need to understand your perspective for my own self.

[RubyTuesday]

I honestly don't know if what you are feeling now is how you will feel ten or twenty years down the road.

 

I do know that life doesn't end because you are married with a child. It is just different.

 

You can become anything you want to become and do whatever you want with your life even though you are married.

 

I just don't see why it has to be an either, or type of situation.

 

And....you never answered my question about what your expectations of marriage were.

 

Kasan, It doesn't have to be an either or situation, thats why I'm going back to school while staying married. I'm saying that so far, im not happy. Im not happy because im sick of fighting, feeling like nothing, feeling completely broken down with no spirit left in me.

I did answer your question, please re-read what I posted previously.

 

Truth, I can't even explain what my needs and wants are. I want to become something I can be proud of beyond that I don't know. After supporting my husband for so long letting go of all my dreams, goals, and letting him get away with so many things. I have no anger anymore, I am completely broken, I have no passion, no energy, I just accept that things are the way they are even though I hate the way I have been treated. My husband is trying a lot harder recently, but I can't get over years of being yelled at for not folding the laundry the right way, putting the dishes in the dishwasher the wrong way, or not dressing the way he wants. I am trying so hard but I just can't pretend anymore that im okay with how ive been treated, and that him being nice to me for the past weeks makes it all better.

 

I plan to stay together until I graduate with my associates in two years, the housing market will be better, I will have a job, and my daughter will be in pre-school so I can work part-time to support taking care of her.

 

There is a wall I have put up so I don't get hurt anymore. I don't have any expectations of him, if he forgets dinner or doesn't see us all weekend, I don't care anymore, its just normal. I don't know if him trying harder is going to help, because I am just so done trying to be happy with him.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Apparently he is trying, that means something. You dont need to tell us this, you tell him first and foremost he should be your closest confidante'.

 

The more you keep your emotions to yourself, the more resentment you'll have against him.

 

That's not right.

 

Yes you supported him, such as a wife should, now let him support you.

 

But he cant kept dark about your feelings. You need to tell him how you feel and you both work on it to make things better. No one ever said marriage wasnt easy but being a walk away spouse makes you a coward. Especially when you have one spouse that wants to fix things but doesnt have the tools to do so.

 

You want a better marriage, then work for it. Be direct.

 

You want things to change. work on it. be direct.

 

You need to be there too. It's both of y'alls marriage not just yours alone.

 

he's probably feeling alot of feelings too and he has his guard up too. He probably knows you want to leave and doesnt know which way to turn, did you think about that?

 

Trust me if I was in his place it be a cold day in hell before I let any woman take my kids for her own benefit just because she wants to go back to school outta state.

[RubyTuesday]

Apparently he is trying, that means something. You dont need to tell us this, you tell him first and foremost he should be your closest confidante'.

 

The more you keep your emotions to yourself, the more resentment you'll have against him.

 

That's not right.

 

Yes you supported him, such as a wife should, now let him support you.

 

But he cant kept dark about your feelings. You need to tell him how you feel and you both work on it to make things better. No one ever said marriage wasnt easy but being a walk away spouse makes you a coward. Especially when you have one spouse that wants to fix things but doesnt have the tools to do so.

 

You want a better marriage, then work for it. Be direct.

 

You want things to change. work on it. be direct.

 

You need to be there too. It's both of y'alls marriage not just yours alone.

 

he's probably feeling alot of feelings too and he has his guard up too. He probably knows you want to leave and doesnt know which way to turn, did you think about that?

 

Trust me if I was in his place it be a cold day in hell before I let any woman take my kids for her own benefit just because she wants to go back to school outta state.

 

All I have to say is wow, you are a completely jaded person. Have you even read what I write or do you just pick and choose what you read. Your responses are not helpful at all so please don't bother responding.

[SnapCracklePop]

Recent talks with my W have always left me astonished that two people can be in the same room having a conversation... but if they each describe that conversation to someone else, you can have two vastly different stories.

 

Both of you need to find out what your needs are, and probably of equal importance - how the other person can meet speak to those needs. MC definitely helps partners talk and reveal to each other what works and what does not work for you. There may also be things blocking the path, which will also be revealed in MC (or maybe in IC...).

 

Marriage is like a walk in the woods... you are walking on a path, and sometimes you'll point something out to him... sometimes he will point something out to you. Sometimes you come to a fork in the path, and you both have to agree on which path to take.. it cannot be one person's decision all the time though.

 

You can still find yourself, even with your man at your side. It sounds like he is very supportive of you, but may need a little waking up in certain aspects. He might not know those areas though.

 

Still, you can and should build your life so you can be happy - but this does not mean you must leave your husband, or it is the end of your marriage. Just as you supported him he will support you. Just as you were excited and happy for his achievements, he will be the same for yours. That is your partnership.

 

Do you really have to move away for going to college though? Can he move with you? Is there a place in the middle that will allow each of you to commute a reasonable distance, yet still remain together. Really investigate your options. Some colleges and universities accomodate off-campus students - especially now with the abilities supported by the Internet. You just show up at test time, or go to proctored test locations.

 

10 or 20 years later, there are no guarantees, except one.. it will haunt you if you did not talk about your issues, really look at all your options, and give it your best shot.

 

Its tough - we know. Many of us are there now, or have been there. But you've got a great support group here at LS to help you find your way.

[SnapCracklePop]

All I have to say is wow, you are a completely jaded person. Have you even read what I write or do you just pick and choose what you read. Your responses are not helpful at all so please don't bother responding.

 

I noticed a few extra posts in the time I made my reply.

 

I don't think anyone is jaded here, but the overall theme is that you both need communication, and there is a lack of that happening. There is no blame on any one person.

 

It is OK to know you are missing something, but not sure what it is. Counselling will help. You both need to work together on this. You may also need to work individually on your own personal needs and weaknesses. Just don't give up on each other yet. Walking away from a problem does not solve the problem.

[RubyTuesday]

I'm in counseling individually and marriage counseling, and everything I have said here he knows. We talk about it constantly. I don't hold back my emotions at all. He is perfectly happy with our relationship, and I am the one that is unhappy.

 

I am trying to be happy with what my life is.

[TrustInYourself]

Kasan, It doesn't have to be an either or situation, thats why I'm going back to school while staying married. I'm saying that so far, im not happy. Im not happy because im sick of fighting, feeling like nothing, feeling completely broken down with no spirit left in me.

I did answer your question, please re-read what I posted previously.

 

Truth, I can't even explain what my needs and wants are. I want to become something I can be proud of beyond that I don't know. After supporting my husband for so long letting go of all my dreams, goals, and letting him get away with so many things. I have no anger anymore, I am completely broken, I have no passion, no energy, I just accept that things are the way they are even though I hate the way I have been treated. My husband is trying a lot harder recently, but I can't get over years of being yelled at for not folding the laundry the right way, putting the dishes in the dishwasher the wrong way, or not dressing the way he wants. I am trying so hard but I just can't pretend anymore that im okay with how ive been treated, and that him being nice to me for the past weeks makes it all better.

 

I plan to stay together until I graduate with my associates in two years, the housing market will be better, I will have a job, and my daughter will be in pre-school so I can work part-time to support taking care of her.

 

There is a wall I have put up so I don't get hurt anymore. I don't have any expectations of him, if he forgets dinner or doesn't see us all weekend, I don't care anymore, its just normal. I don't know if him trying harder is going to help, because I am just so done trying to be happy with him.

 

I hear you. After hearing you explain, it's like listening to my wife.

 

I'm sorry for your hurt over all this time. I highly suggest you go after your dreams and your happiness. If your husband really loves you he will do what it takes for you to find happiness. Just give him a chance to accept the situation, since he's going to be emotional and hurt, even if he doesn't show you. I'm in his shoes, so I understand his efforts. He was on autopilot and sometimes, we men, don't realize what we are doing over time unless our wife just slaps us out of it with a drastic action. It doesn't mean there's a lack of love, just a misunderstanding on what we need to do to earn your love and respect.

 

Some men choose to escape by dating or seeing other women. I hope you are prepared for that situation. It sounds like you are ready to chase your happiness no matter what, and that takes a lot of strength. Be proud of yourself for that and I wouldn't even bother trying to explain to some of the posters on this board. They're still filled with anger and contempt over the past. LOL, I definitely do not want to be in that boat.

 

Good luck and best wishes. I think if you stay true to your heart, you'll be okay.

[Billy Bob]

I am completely broken, I have no passion, no energy, I just accept that things are the way they are even though I hate the way I have been treated. My husband is trying a lot harder recently, but I can't get over years of being yelled at for not folding the laundry the right way, putting the dishes in the dishwasher the wrong way, or not dressing the way he wants. I am trying so hard but I just can't pretend anymore that im okay with how ive been treated, and that him being nice to me for the past weeks makes it all better.

 

Ahhh, I see the situation for what it is now... Yeah, you are married to a control freak. You should have told him to fold his own f-ing laundry, put his own dishes away.. I agree f-him.

 

You have every right to want out from a controlling relationship. It is a very unhealthy way to live and just builds resentment. And unfortunately, from what I have seen its pretty well engrained into someones personality.

 

Yeah, he can be a great provider and a great dad, but that doesn't make a great marriage. You only live once.

[TrustInYourself]

Ahhh, I see the situation for what it is now... Yeah, you are married to a control freak. You should have told him to fold his own f-ing laundry, put his own dishes away.. I agree f-him.

 

You have every right to want out from a controlling relationship. It is a very unhealthy way to live and just builds resentment. And unfortunately, from what I have seen its pretty well engrained into someones personality.

 

Yeah, he can be a great provider and a great dad, but that doesn't make a great marriage. You only live once.

 

People can change for better or worse. Control is just a behavior. It can be changed, if the person understands his behavior, the reasoning behind why he does it, and is willing to do what it takes to limit or control his response or triggers to such behavior.

[Kasan]

People can change for better or worse. Control is just a behavior. It can be changed, if the person understands his behavior, the reasoning behind why he does it, and is willing to do what it takes to limit or control his response or triggers to such behavior.

 

Totally agree with you on these points. Counseling will help with this.

 

OP, you have explained your situations more clearly, and I do appreciate it. Jumping through hoops to please someone is not my idea of a fulfilling marriage.

 

There are some great resources on the web if you want to continue to work on your marriage.

 

Marriage builders has some great stuff including the Love Bank which has an interesting concept about deposits and withdrawals of love in a marriage.

 

Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is also another great resource. (There is also a website) This might give you some insight on how the both of you show each other how you love each other. For example, you might need to be kissed and told that you are loved, when in fact your husband might show you his love by doing things for you, ie making your coffee in the morning.

 

I applaud for going to school, as I know that it won't be easy for you, but it will give you a lot of confidence in yourself.

 

I also suspect that moving so far away from your parents could be a culprit in all this. You have lost your network of family and friends by moving. The local Y's usually have playtime programs where you can meet mothers with children around the same ages. This might help with the isolation.

 

I think that Sumdude said this as well, but your husband is not responsible for your happiness.

 

In closing, I just want you to know, that the love for your husband can return, but I'm sure that you know that a lot of changes need to be made - on his end and yours.

 

Good luck.