denl Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 Please help! I have known a coworker for over 6 mtns but lately she had been fliting with me more often (ie smiling, joking etc). I assumed that she wanted me to ask her out, however when I did she turned me down flatly. I felt most embarrassed and wished our contact in the office to remain at a "goodmorning, goodevening" level of conversation. She however continues to flirt with me. What am I missing here? Does she realize that she is torturing me and giving me a false sense of hope. Am I totally misunderstaning this situation. Thank you for any help. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 Why would you even want an ounce of hope to get with a lady who would tease the hell out of you with her flirting and then turn you down for a date? She is your worst nightmare. Turn your attentions to someone who is more decent. Let this one know you resent her flirtations and if they continue you will report them to management. Can you say TEASE??? Link to post Share on other sites
longlegzs80 Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 I think she is laying low because there might be rules in your workplace that might frown upon dating in the workplace. It could cause issues. But that depends on what your field is. I know with my field there is a code of conduct and it tells you the high and lows of the field and what they expect from you. I think this women is into you, but it is hard to say. Why don't you simply ask her if she is not busy to go for a cup of coffee or something. Just something for the both of you to be together. Maybe before you do that approach talk to her about what she does for fun, what does she do with friends or even lets say her boyfriend. Not saying that she has a boyfriend, but just for your refrenece if she says that her and her boyfriend do.....whatever, then maybe that is the reason why she did not take you up on your offer. Just get to know her. Flirt with her, and see how she responds. You can tell when someone likes you. It could be the look in their eye or a friendly smile, or even a touch. Definitly heat things up alittle, if you think it is appropriate in your particular workplace though. If she responds in a positive way keep it up for awhile longer, and get to know her thoughout that time frame. Hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 Originally posted by denl Please help! I have known a coworker for over 6 mtns but lately she had been fliting with me more often (ie smiling, joking etc). I assumed that she wanted me to ask her out, however when I did she turned me down flatly. I felt most embarrassed and wished our contact in the office to remain at a "goodmorning, goodevening" level of conversation. She however continues to flirt with me. What am I missing here? Does she realize that she is torturing me and giving me a false sense of hope. Am I totally misunderstaning this situation. Thank you for any help. Sounds like a lot of "assuming" going on here. I don't consider smiling and joking to necessarily be flirting. Could it be that you're taking things the wrong way? Probably. And to answer another of your questions with a question of my own: How can she know that she is torturing you or giving you false hope if you don't tell her? I think you probably are misunderstanding the situation. That's just my opinion. And it doesn't sound like you have anything to report to anyone because she hasn't done anything of a sexual nature (unless you've left something out). I don't think smiling and joking makes someone a TEASE. Ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
pitprincess Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 Originally posted by denl Please help! I have known a coworker for over 6 mtns but lately she had been fliting with me more often (ie smiling, joking etc). I assumed that she wanted me to ask her out, however when I did she turned me down flatly. I felt most embarrassed and wished our contact in the office to remain at a "goodmorning, goodevening" level of conversation. She however continues to flirt with me. What am I missing here? Does she realize that she is torturing me and giving me a false sense of hope. Am I totally misunderstaning this situation. Thank you for any help. Is it possible that she may have been flirting with you just the same but you found an attraction in her, asked her out and it may have hurt you more then you realize? Since she said no you may tend to notice her more then you did before:( If you want to remain on a "goodmorning' goodevening" relationship then you need to tell her that because avoiding it wont do anything more then cause problems in your friendship as friends. You should tell her that it does bother you for her to flirt with you because you was getting the impression that maybe you and her may have some kind of connection, witch is what caused you to ask her out in the first place. Some people don't realize they are really hurting some men when they do this sort of thing to others. Link to post Share on other sites
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