SingleDad Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I learned something recently, which I hope to put into practice... You cannot control the actions, behaviors, and emotions of your Ex. Don't try to - that will just push them away... The only thing you can try to do is "being" the person they fell in love with. Society has it wrong... It's not about "finding the right person" but about "being the right person" for someone else and for yourself (from a Josh McDonall book) So stop trying to convince them to come back, Instead "Be the right person" toward them so they will want to come back. I need to learn how to do that myself - "be the right person" for my wife to want me back.
sumdude Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I learned something recently, which I hope to put into practice... You cannot control the actions, behaviors, and emotions of your Ex. Don't try to - that will just push them away... The only thing you can try to do is "being" the person they fell in love with. Society has it wrong... It's not about "finding the right person" but about "being the right person" for someone else and for yourself (from a Josh McDonall book) So stop trying to convince them to come back, Instead "Be the right person" toward them so they will want to come back. I need to learn how to do that myself - "be the right person" for my wife to want me back. The conundrum might end up like this. You'll become the right person and find out your wife no longer is the right person for you... ...or not... Not worrying about it is the 'piece de la resistance'...
quankanne Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I think maybe you're missing the point: You need to be the right person, not to get someone to come back or to love you they way they did, but to be fully present to the one you're meant to be with. I know you miss your wife and that you want more than anything for your marriage to work, but from what you've posted, it sounds like she's already moved on, that there's no turning back for her at this point. So if all this work you're putting into making yourself into the better man you're called to be is just for the goal of getting her back, it may very well be in vain if she's already mentally gone from the relationship. you've to be the right person, period. Not for her, not to save a relationship, but because it's who you are called to be. Everything else falls into place from there.
TrustInYourself Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 SingleDad, it's not about your wife anymore. It's about you. Remember that. Your wife may or may not come back to you. Be prepared to accept both situations.
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