My wife was giving this guy a bite of her sandwich: What do you make of this?

[reservoirdog1]

if you know your wife as well as most men know theirs, read her eyes, they never lie.

 

Don't be so sure. Two and a half years ago, I was using our computer and found that TBXW had posted on a dating message board and had an email account I knew nothing about. She'd also visited philanderers.com. When she got home that night I told her what I'd seen. She gave me a very flimsy explanation (which I swallowed, idiot that I was) that she'd posted on that dating board to see if I'D respond because she was concerned that I was cheating.

 

I told her to look me in the eye and tell me if she'd ever cheated on me. She looked me in the eye and LIED.

 

Turns out, as I found out this past August, she'd had three affairs during our seven year marriage. We're separated and I'll be divorcing her lying ass.

 

Maybe my problem was simply that I didn't know her as well as most men know their wives. Still, the eyes CAN lie.

[TheFaithfulWife]

I have always gotten along better with males then females all my life. I discuss tools ( I worked at Orchard Supply Hardware and various homecenters) I even took wood shop in highschool.

I have had close male friends that I goof off with, just like I have with friends who are girls.

 

I have jokingly stuffed food into a male friends mouth when he refused to taste my

cake I made, I have had him give me a neck massage when I had a headache.

We have shared lunch on occasions when I am not sure what I wanted to eat that day. We each bought something different and split it.

 

Was there any feeling for him other then that of a close friend? NO

 

My husband is comfortable with my doing this because we met at Orchard supply hardware and he saw how I was with the guys.

 

But: If he had ever felt uncomfortable about anything I was doing I would have stopped doing it.

Maybe you need to tell your wife that other people are talking about her actions and that it is disturbing you, ask her to refrain from these demonstrations in public.

 

Something no one has realized yet is, If she was screwing around on you, she would not be doing it in full view of others. It is when things are hidden that you need to be worried.

 

I would be inclined to think she is not cheating. My husbands cheating was well hidden and he made many attempts to make sure I would not find out.

 

He has a good woman friend that he has known for years, when he greets her it is with a hug and when he leaves it is with a kiss on the cheek, they have stayed up late working on projects together. I have never EVER felt threatened by this woman. They have been open about the time they spend together and also tease each other to death.

 

It was the woman he hid from my knowledge that was the threat.

Good luck

The faithfulwife

[TMCM]

Folks let's keep in mind that a great many affairs start out as innocent friendships that start to cross dangerous marital boundaries. This may or may not be the case with usdaprime's wife but he needs to calmly, respectfully and quietly warn her that too much contact with this guy could be a dangerous thing for their marriage.

[DivaGirl]

I agree with the people who said that you should hear her out. I'm a female, and a female friend of mine offered me some of her drink after she had had some. It's pretty much the same thing, as I was sharing her beverage, but I'm quite certain that I'd never engage in anything sexual with her. In fact, the only thing I'd really be concerned about is if the other person had a virus or something.

[thisgirl]

Gotta tell ya, I am a married woman who shares food with other men, I even drink right from their soda cans. I can also say that usually when I do this, I am flirting with them. I may never want anything more than some attention but I don't just share food with anyone. Talk to your wife. I ended up falling in love with one of my friends that I share food with. It was never meant to be more than some harmless flirting, but sometimes love surprises you. Anyway, talk again. Let her know that is bothers you, I agree with the one about meeting this guy. If she lets you meet him, don't worry. If she hides it. be concerned. Another thing. I am sure you are a great guy, but step back and evaluate things. have you been giving her reason to seek attention outside of your marriage?

[lquidmetalspine]

I went through everything, and thought about it a little bit. Everyone can see that you love her. I dont know how long you have been married, but my advice if you havent already found the solution is to wait it out. You have done what you can do as far as seeing what her side is. It may take along time to see whats really going on, or it may take a week. But dont get into it to much. Let time pass by because sooner or later time will tell you whats going on.

 

another thing you can do, if you are religious (even in the smallest) is get a book called "The power of a Praying Husband" It's by Stormie Omartian. This book has helped me also, even in situations I didn't think it would be of any use. You sound like a husband who is wondering if time is wearing on her, and she is cheating on you to get more. But one question is: Have you asked her if you are the man she needs you to be? Or is there something your not doing in the marriage that she needs out of you? Dont get me wrong, I'm not trying to make you think you are at blame if she is cheating, but talking to her about that kinda stuff I think brings out feelings that you both need to talk out. And maybe it will help on your thoughts, put you at ease so to speak. Whatever happens, I hope you work it out. Good luck

[jmargel]

Hmm.. You don't know what to do? I'd goto the store, buy a box of cookies, smash them in front of her & tell her 'Now you can feed him this'.

 

She's acting like she has no marriage, no commitment. She WAS lying to you because she never told you. The only reason why she told you was because she knew she was caught. Its called 'Truth Untold', and it is as bad as lying.

 

You better talk to her fast & get to the bottom of what REALLY is going on.

[digdoug]

My wife told me she went to lunch with a male co worker today to a palce that when i ask her to go she tells me she hates. He bought her lunch and then they spent the rest of the hour "driving around". This is also a guy who makes sexual comments to her on a regular basis. It's now two hours after she was supposed to be home from work and her cell phone is turned off.

[Bryanp]

To Digdoug:

 

I feel for you. I would be very very upset if I were. How do you think she would be acting if the roles were reversed. She is acting like a single person. How very disrespectful this is to you.

No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change.

You do not have to accept this. I wish you luck.

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by usdaprime

I did speak to her as I stated in an earlier message. I am just at a loss on what to do. I understand some people here don't find a problem with her sharing food but I sure do especially her feeding some guy a cookie. I mean why in the world would somebody feed somebody. She did however play around and put food into my mouth. So if anybody any other input it would be greatl. Thanks

 

Hey prime my friend, you might as well face the facts. Your wife is doing this other guy. Period. What you need to do is confront her with the fact that you KNOW she's having sex with him and then give her your approval. That's right. Let her have sex with him. Let her know it's ok under one condition; she has to tell you all about it when she comes home. I guarantee you two will have the hottest sex of your life afterwards. Once you let go of jealousy, you will be a much happier man. She had sex before she met you right? So what's the big deal if she still wants to bang other guys? Wait until she comes home after she's been with him, strip off her clothes, get down on your knees and enjoy! Your worries are over!