How to tell he likes you (new to the dating scene)?

[jasmin1279]

Ok I have a bit of a silly question but I’m not sure how to take this – how do you know if a guy is interested in you as opposed to just toying or being nice? Let me first give some background info. I have just ended a seven year relationship about 3 months ago. It was a mutual decision, relationship wasn’t going anywhere so we decided to go our own separate ways. He still lives with me – well sorta (he’s unofficially moved out - he’s got a new gf and is mainly with her, just all his stuff is still at my place which is being moved bit by bit – will be out by middle of next month *celebrates* we just signed paperwork saying what mine and his so there can be no arguments about it). So anyways needless to say I’m a fish out of water on the dating scene. Anyways on to the main point of my question - I used to work with a guy and became friends with him and stopped talking to him b/c at the time the ex got jealous and now that the ex and I are no longer together I contacted him again. Our main point of contact is through text. When I first contacted him we talked quite a bit and I finally had the courage to ask if he wanted to hang out. Not as a date mind you – we were originally going to go to a bar but then decided we would hang at his place and watch a movie (two other friends of his were there but they kept making excuses to leave). It was a rather cheesy action movie, so we made fun of the cheesy lines throughout the movie. We also talked and caught up. It honestly felt like our friendship picked up where we left it. So anyways I leave for the night and he walks me out talk quite a bit more and then we hug (not a quick goodbye hug either) tells me not to wait so long to contact him again hugs again and puts his arm around my waist and teases me about being short (and I vice versa) and says next time we’ll go somewher and he’ll buy me a drink yada yada yada then one finial hug where he actually rest his head on mine (yes that’s how short I am compared to him lol). Next day we text again…just a ‘hey how goes it – we should do it again’. All week its just been short texts not much content so now I’m confused. I do like him but if he’s not interested me in me other than friendship I don’t want to ruin that either, he’s a great guy – fun to talk to and joke with (ie you can have a serious intelligent conversation and playful jokeful ones also). I’d like to see where it goes and I want to take it slow but I stink at reading signs. I feel like he is, but then again I’m not sure. Supposedly 2 years ago he was interested in me (per co-workers) but I was happily in a relationship at that time. I told a friend and she thinks he interested but I’m not so sure….I really think it’s an insecurity issue on my part plus I’m really shy . I do feel really comfortable and not afraid to show the real me around him and don’t become my usually shy bashful self around him and now I’m worried that I did something to blow it or he just wants friendship (which is fine – but how do you find out?) or he was just being nice to humor me. Am I over-reacting? I mean how do you know someone likes you? Its just all so confusing. Part of me wonders is b/c ex has not officially moved out. I don’t like playing games and am usually very direct but when it comes to dating, especially when interested in someone – I just don’t know how to read signs or how to tell without coming right out and saying it. I feel like I’m reliving my teen years. lol Do I contact him again to see if he wants to hang out again or do I wait for him to make that move? I’m at a complete and utter loss. Help!!!!

[JohnnyBlaze]

I'd say he likes you. He walked you out rather than just saying goodnight at the door, he rested his head on yours, arm around your waist; he's trying to maintain as much body contact as possible.

 

The text messages are nothing. In person, I can talk with a girl I really like for hours on end, but ask me to text or phone and I send the shortest possible message. Some of us guys just don't like phones and aren't comfortable communicating on them in a social setting (either talking or texting). Typical guy mentality with the phone works like this: call - make plan - hang up. That's it. There's no chit-chat, no old times, nothing. We can do that in person.

 

I'm sure you're correct in the thought that he's wondering what the deal with your ex really is. That sort of situation would make most men hesitant. Once your ex is completely gone, then I'm sure things will progress more smoothly.

 

So don't worry about the phone. In person, he shows all the signs of liking you (as more than a friend). Go ahead; make his day.

 

- sorry. After your comment about mocking cheesy action movie lines, I just couldn't resist.

[jasmin1279]

Thanks Johnny - I was thinking he does but havn't gone out since....or I should say no initiation from him. *sighs* Tried to see if he wanted to hang sunday but said he was broke but did say someother time but next weekend he would be out of town, talked for a bit so I know I wasn't completly blown off. (hmm notice I'm getting more insecure lol).

 

ah well...hopefully the ex will be officially gone soon. Doesn't stay here anymore just hasn't picked up the stuff. Although everything is finially official as to whats mine and his. *sighs* I'll have to buy some new furniture...

 

Guess I'll just wait and see what happens when the ex is gone...hmm wonder how to bring that topic up without being to obvious? Maybe use the furniture as an excuse? Maybe? Maybe no....lol

 

hahaha thanks for the cheese line.