Tony T Posted March 13, 2000 Share Posted March 13, 2000 If you want your marriage to suffer irreparable harm, have the affair. Either others will talk (one of the two parties ALWAYS tells a friend and it goes on from there) or the guilt will be so overwhelming you won't be able to live with it. The bigger question is the state of your marriage. If you need love and intimacy elsewhere, your marriage has serious problems that must be dealt with. While it is very natural to be attracted to other people throughout one's life, taking it to the final level and breaking your commitment to your husband is symptomatic of greater problems. The fact that you ask this question says either you do have morals above and beyond that of the majority of people in the year 2000 or you are just looking for encouragement to go forward. While it is YOUR decision that you and you alone must make, you need to know there are serious consequences that are almost ALWAYS paid and you must decide if you can afford them. The fact that this man works with your husband could ultimately cost your family its livelihood, if only temporary, if the whole thing backlashes at the workplace. PEOPLE TALK!!! Consequences will be paid somewhere. (Footnote: There are a FEW people here and there who have successful trists without fallout and without conscience. You could fall into that category but considering all the circumstances you describe, the odds are thin for that happening.) Link to post Share on other sites
Sula Posted March 13, 2000 Share Posted March 13, 2000 I was in a similar situation, though I'm engaged to be married, not married yet. I was and still am close friends with a man who is extremely charming and good looking. We flirted from the first moment we met. He comes over to my house and we drink beer and talk about our love lives. One night I was a little tipsy and I went over to his house and he had just gotten home from being out and one thing led to another and I slept with him. It didn't feel right, even though I was drunk. I regret it to this day. I feel guilty about having deceived my fiance because he's my love, the man I chose freely to spend the rest of my life with. Although I knew this would only be a one night thing (finace was out of town), I know there's still a fine line between fantasy and reality in some cases. So no, I don't think it would be a good idea. Today, I still haven't confessed to my fiance. I know that to tell him wouldn't do any good since it was a one-time thing and it wouldonly relieve MY burden of guilt, rather than helping our relationship. I haven't ever cheated again and I never will. I know the first blush of lust is exciting, but in the long run it's better to keep thrid parties out of the relationship that really matters. Link to post Share on other sites
Shirley Posted March 14, 2000 Share Posted March 14, 2000 i hav been married for 10 years and have 2 children. after a recent drunken kiss and christmas, i have fallen in love with another man who is also married with children. my husband works with this man. we havent done anything except talk on the phone, although we do have phone sex. he wants to meet me and take things further but i am scared of getting caught and feeling to much for him. i know this is special i have never done this before. and neither has he Is what you feel for this guy love, or just a strong physical attraction. And are you in love with your husband, or are you just living with him 'cause you like the feeling of that family thing? If you are afraid of getting caught because you know it will hurt your husband, then don't have the affair. And break all contact with the other guy. It is possible to be in love with more than one person at a time, but you have made a commitment to your husband, so you need to forget the other guy, and go on loving your husband. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts