depressed by this work situation

[shadowplay]

One of my summer internships is with this startup video production company. I was really excited because I was given the opportunity by a nice producer to edit a short piece for them. I spent a huge amount of time on it because it was basically the first editing I've ever done. I came in long hours and also worked on it at home.

 

When I was finally finished with the rough cut I showed it to the producer and she liked it. She told me that she would have me work with this camera guy (let's call him "Mike") on polishing the piece -- basically the fine-tuning stuff.

 

I had a bad feeling when she told me I would be working with Mike because since I first met him two months ago I've gotten the strong vibe that he really doesn't like me. I was actually thinking of starting a separate thread about this topic because his demeanor had been depressing me so much. He's been randomly rude on several occasions. Once I was carrying a 60 pound tripod bag for them on a shoot and I asked for his help in lifting it into their van. He made some sarcastic, snide remark like "It's too heavy for you?" Mind you he's really tall and overweight. I'm tiny by comparison.

 

Then another time I was doing something for one of the producer's on the computer that involved going to this online ticket site. Mike came in the room to get something off the desk and happened to glance at my computer. He asked me if I was buying tickets online in this indignant voice. I told him I wasn't, that I was working on something for a producer. He said, "are you sure, because if you are we'd want to know about it." WTF?

 

It's really bizarre because I was always friendly to him. I asked him questions about himself and interests. But he usually answered me in short sentences without making eye contact.

 

Anyway, so I sat down to watch him "polish" my rough cut. The first thing he did is complain about the way I had my windows arranged in the editing program. "Do you always have your windows arranged like this?" he asked. "I'm really anal about the way everything is arranged on my computer." (We were working on one of the company's computers, not his.) I showed him what I had done. Then he basically opened up a new "sequence" (sort of like a different project) that he named "Mike's rough cut." He proceeded to do everything over again from scratch, barely looking at what I had done. I was at my other internship for the rest of the week so I wasn't able to watch him edit.

 

When I came back I saw that he had completely done over everything. It really pissed me off because I had spent a huge amount of unpaid time on the rough cut I did and the producer liked it. Also, it didn't make sense for him to redo everything because I had already pulled out all of the good shots from the raw footage and he could have simply copied them into his sequence from mine. Instead he had to go through all the raw footage on his own and redo everything.

 

After I felt really despondent. I didn't mention it to him or anyone. I complimented him on what he had done. The producer has told me she will continue to let me edit stuff, but what's the point if this guy is just going to redo all of my work? She doesn't know that's what he's doing because I don't feel it's appropriate for me to tell her. I don't want to start a whole confrontation with him as he already seems to hate me.

 

I feel like giving up.

[shadowplay]

This is kind of unrelated, but I just don't understand why certain guys, wherever I go, are always hostile to me. I'm never unfriendly. I always try to engage them and show interest in them as people. What am I doing wrong?

[Nevermind]

snide remark like "It's too heavy for you?"

 

Guys are like this. He actually might not have meant it badly. Maybe he takes pride in being a strong guy. Nothing to take as a snide remark about yourself.

 

The first thing he did is complain about the way I had my windows arranged in the editing program. "Do you always have your windows arranged like this?" he asked. "I'm really anal about the way everything is arranged on my computer."

That's not really too harsh, either. He has his way of working and thinks his way is best. He surely could have been nicer, but his behaviour wasn't really that bad. He is a superior, so he doesn't need to sugar-coat his words.

 

Techincally, it might be the company's computer, but if he usually works on it, then it's fair to call it "his".

 

After I felt really despondent. I didn't mention it to him or anyone. I complimented him on what he had done. The producer has told me she will continue to let me edit stuff, but what's the point if this guy is just going to redo all of my work? She doesn't know that's what he's doing because I don't feel it's appropriate for me to tell her. I don't want to start a whole confrontation with him as he already seems to hate me.

 

Wrong. You had a rough start with the guy and now you're hiding. I feel that you are taking his behaviour too much for animosity, when it's really indifference. The guy doesn't know you, you're an intern, he has no reason to shmoose with you. But you need to talk to him, about what you want to do and how and why. If you're not working with him, he will not start cooperating with you. Also, you can gain his respect by standing up for yourself and your visions.

 

Maybe he had the feeling that you looked down on him for being just a "camera guy"?

[shadowplay]

Guys are like this. He actually might not have meant it badly. Maybe he takes pride in being a strong guy. Nothing to take as a snide remark about yourself.

 

 

That's not really too harsh, either. He has his way of working and thinks his way is best. He surely could have been nicer, but his behaviour wasn't really that bad. He is a superior, so he doesn't need to sugar-coat his words.

 

Techincally, it might be the company's computer, but if he usually works on it, then it's fair to call it "his".

 

 

 

Wrong. You had a rough start with the guy and now you're hiding. I feel that you are taking his behaviour too much for animosity, when it's really indifference. The guy doesn't know you, you're an intern, he has no reason to shmoose with you. But you need to talk to him, about what you want to do and how and why. If you're not working with him, he will not start cooperating with you. Also, you can gain his respect by standing up for yourself and your visions.

 

Maybe he had the feeling that you looked down on him for being just a "camera guy"?

 

You would have had to hear his tone to understand why his comment about the bag was rude. He said it in a really sarcastic, nasty kind of voice and kind of rolled his eyes at me.

 

I tried to tell him my opinion and point him out to things I had done. It was fine when I was working right beside him but when I was gone he just redid everything from scratch, neglecting to use my work.

[shadowplay]

Techincally, it might be the company's computer, but if he usually works on it, then it's fair to call it "his".

 

It's not the computer he usually works on. In fact he almost never uses that one.

[Trialbyfire]

I wouldn't take it personally. Most long-term employees don't have much patience to train new people, particularly interns.

 

Keep your end polite and professional. Beyond that, there's nothing you can do to "make" anyone like you.

[shadowplay]

I wouldn't take it personally. Most long-term employees don't have much patience to train new people, particularly interns.

 

Keep your end polite and professional. Beyond that, there's nothing you can do to "make" anyone like you.

 

He wasn't training me. I did all the work myself on the rough cut. And just because I'm an intern doesn't mean I deserve no respect. The producer had told him to "polish" my rough cut, not start the whole thing again from scratch. That's what pissed me off.

 

I'm not trying to "make" anyone like me. I just don't understand his rudeness. I spent hours on end working on this thing, and he barely looked at what I had done.

[Trialbyfire]

He wasn't training me. I did all the work myself on the rough cut. And just because I'm an intern doesn't mean I deserve no respect. The producer had told him to "polish" my rough cut, not start the whole thing again from scratch. That's what pissed me off.

 

I'm not trying to "make" anyone like me. I just don't understand his rudeness. I spent hours on end working on this thing, and he barely looked at what I had done.

As an intern, technically, you have no rights. Just go with the flow, let him do whatever he wants. As a matter of fact, watch him and follow his steps. The next time you present anything else to him, he'll probably amend it anyways, regardless of whether or not you do it his way.

 

He's probably testing you as well as annoyed that he has to take care of a newbie. This isn't personal for him and neither are my comments.

[carhill]

Perish the thought, but maybe he likes you....and just has a unique way of showing it

 

Did it ever occur to you that you might be intimidating to some?

[shadowplay]

I feel like just quitting. I'm sick of putting huge amounts of work in (more than almost anyone there) and getting no respect. This has been true at my other jobs where I had had a real position. I don't understand why people never treat me with respect.

[carhill]

Shadow, I know exactly what you mean. IMO, you'll be in a healthy place when you do it because you love it and because of how you feel about yourself as a result. The other people and their personalities and opinions will become irrelevant.

 

To steal a phrase from a music industry exec, "your uniqueness will be your biggest liability until it becomes your biggest asset"

[Nevermind]

People do treat you with respect, but maybe you don't always perceive it. You are treated with respect here a lot, but sometimes people (me included) get rough on you - this you always perceive.

 

Maybe you're having trouble accepting positive comments and focus too much on the negative ones?

 

Here you want to quit, yet your producer actually praised your work. You have to stick up for yourself and stay in this, even though it's tough. Once you're no longer new, people will be more open to your suggestions.

 

Respect doesn't come overnight, you have to earn it. If you quit now, you're not going to get it.

[shadowplay]

People do treat you with respect, but maybe you don't always perceive it. You are treated with respect here a lot, but sometimes people (me included) get rough on you - this you always perceive.

 

Maybe you're having trouble accepting positive comments and focus too much on the negative ones?

 

Here you want to quit, yet your producer actually praised your work. You have to stick up for yourself and stay in this, even though it's tough. Once you're no longer new, people will be more open to your suggestions.

 

Respect doesn't come overnight, you have to earn it. If you quit now, you're not going to get it.

 

Maybe you're right. I tend to focus exclusively on negative feedback. For example, if I receive nasty comments on here I'll usually hold those opinions with more esteem or assume they speak for the whole crowd. I let one negative person pollute my whole environment and mood.

[Nevermind]

It's part of the low self-esteem problem. It is much easier to believe criticism because it's closer to your opinion of yourself. It's a circle, really. You focus on bad feedback and this keeps your self-esteem down, which makes you focus on bad feedback etc..

 

Try to look at the good things, the people who respect you here, the good comments you get from other people at work etc. It is much healthier to live like this, and just as true as the reverse.

[Kamille]

I feel like just quitting. I'm sick of putting huge amounts of work in (more than almost anyone there) and getting no respect. This has been true at my other jobs where I had had a real position. I don't understand why people never treat me with respect.

 

Shadow, I have been eating dirt for years while doing my grad studies, and am just now getting tidbits of recognition. (One thing to learn, with recognition also comes tougher competition, but it doesn't sound lie you're there yet).

 

You have to do it for yourself, and if someone feels like doing over everything for you, take it as a learning experience: try and notice something that they did differently that you really like and ask them how they did it (as an example) As an intern, you are a nothing but a student (and I say that having be faced yet again this week with the fact that I am nothing but a student). You're getting recognition from your producer. That is the tidbit of recognition you get here.

 

Also, my guess is that perhaps Mike is trying to get back at the producer for sticking him with an intern. So in reality, it has very little to do with you or your work. It has more to do with the fact that Mike also has to prove himself in that industry and wants credit. Dismissing your work and redoing it allows him to do that. It's sad, but the there isn't many entry level positions where you won't be faced with that kind of competition.

 

The way to deal with it? You already have it: passion. Keep spending those hours on your projects, keep showing it to your producer and one day she will notice that your work and the final product aren't one and the same. Also, accept that you are still there to learn and that Mike likely has a lot to show you.

 

And please don't quit. Just stay humble for awhile.

[Nemo]

, I have been eating dirt for years

A high-fibre diet can save your life. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow... but it will possibly happen.

[Kamille]

A high-fibre diet can save your life. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow... but it will possibly happen.

 

I finally understand why I have IBS! Shall we go into details about that marvelous disease?

[Prodigal Princess]

Kamille nailed it on the head.

 

We all have to start at the bottom. I worked as an intern for 6 months at the biggest law firm in Australia, and for the nastiest partner. You can imagine the treatment I got by him and all the other high flyers. I even polished shoes! And this was when I was in my final years of law school. I never once complained, I just got on with it and used every opportunity to prove that I was capable.

 

Once I learnt to put my ego aside I really got an education in every sense of the word. Stop being the victim and taking everything so personally, and use this time to learn from those around you. That's what you're there for.

[JohnnyBlaze]

Shadow, like TBF said, don't take anything personally as an intern. Did you ever see the movie "Full Metal Jacket"? Remember Gunny Ermey's first speech?

"...if you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human f__ing beings!"

That speech applies to interns, sorry to say, especially at the beginning. As others have mentioned, don't take the other guys comments for dislike; the correct term is indeed, indifference. Around here, we get so many interns and newbies that we can't keep track of them. The standing joke is that they should all have Dr. Seuss names (Thing One and Thing Two).

 

The guy probably isn't annoyed with you; you're incidental. His boss gave him extra work by telling him to train you. So instead of doing his regular routine, clipping and editing on instinct, he now has to slow down and explain each step and justify why he does it that way. THAT'S what's annoying him.

 

Of course, it could also be that he's an idiot. Everyone else probably has rank on him, so he can't grumble to them. Now that he's higher up on the chain than someone else (read: you), he has someone to take it out on. Unfortunately, that is par for the course in the life of an intern. Just remember; you won't be the rookie forever.

 

As was mentioned by you earlier, your boss has already taken notice of your work. Take that as a huge pat on the back; most interns aren't that lucky.

[Kamille]

Ooh! Go rent or rerent The Devil Wears Prada.

 

Be aware too that it's normal to go through a hazing period. Like Jhonnyblaze said, interns come and go and you have to show them you're serious before they'll actually take you seriously.

 

Four months after I started working for my supervisor, our research team was invited to a work function. She walked right up to a fellow coworker I was talking too, didn't even aknowledge me and told him she wanted to introduce him to someone important. They walked off. I stared at them completely dumbfounded. I now realize I had simply not made my mark yet. I got her respect months later, after working 72 hours a week for four weeks to do all my work plus prepare a presentation that she ended up adoring.

 

Internships are opportunities. You get a chance to make your mark. Don't let office politics get in the way of what you know you have to offer.

[Harmony]

I have been at a job I love for about a year now. Great pay, great boss, great work. About six months ago a new IT guy was hired. Part of my job is getting documents ready to post on the website. Now I have to go through this guy for the design. I've asked him to design the information in a format that I could update myself. He didn't. So every time there is a change (which can happen frequently) I have to send it to him. He is completely condescending and returns work that I have requested to my boss. I had a major event to coordinate a few months ago and his lack of listening to my direction on what I needed caused me hours of extra work. At the time, I pointed this out to him and he just shrugged his shoulders and walked away. I just had an hour long "discussion" with him because he said several months ago he overheard me talking about him in the stairwell. He said he didn't know who I was talking to and couldn't tell me what was said. I often walk on my lunch hour and part of my walking is going up and down the stairs. Unfortunately, I have a habit of talking out loud so it's entirely possible I was all alone and I explained this to him. He has been bent out of shape ever since then. He denied that his returning my work to my boss and not to me was demeaning to me.

 

It is no secret at work that I have a partner and it seems that since he found out, he is downright nasty to me. I have no proof that this issue is his real problem, but my gut tells me differently. The sad part is that my boss and her boss have both been pulled into this mess. He is also 20 years younger than I am. He questions everything I send to him - Why does this have to be done? Why are you doing it this way? No helpful suggestions on improving something, just making me spend more time explaining myself to him. (He also denied this today, even though I have the e-mails.)

 

When I left work my boss (who is supportive of me) and her boss were behind closed doors discussing this. (They don't talk very quietly and my office space is right outside the door.) The sad part about all of this is that because of this one guy, I'm wondering if I should start looking for another job. I am so upset about this, I've been shaking and crying all afternoon. This was more than I meant to post and there is a lot more that I didn't write. I guess I just needed to try to get it out somehow as I am home alone right now. Thanks for letting me do that. (Maybe I should have started a new thread instead of a reply, but I've never done this before.)

[Star Gazer]

First, the guy just doesn't sound pleasant in general. I wouldn't take it personal, and please don't take anything else I have to say personal either.

 

Second, TBF is right that as an intern you really have no rights. However, if you're proud of your rough cuts and want the producer to know what YOU are capable of, I'd continue to show her your rough cuts PRIOR to Mike touching them. If she's smart, she'll know that the finished product was more his doing than yours. Assuming she likes the rough better, well she'll give you kudos. Assuming she likes his better, well, you'll learn what she likes versus doesn't and be able to give her the work product she's looking for.

 

Finally, ALL people aren't hostile towards you, Shadow. You just assume it's always about you. There are some office staff at my firm who have the same attitude, and they literally cry about it on a daily basis. I've repeatedly heard office gossip about this staff member being upset with that attorney, and that staff member with that attorney, and laughed at how juvenile it was. But then it happened to me. I got called in to a partner's office and was told that "Candie" had said I was being mean to her. Why? Because while walking down the hallway (while reading a brief that I was taking to the managing partner to discuss), I didn't say hello and kinda did the you-go-this-way-I-go-that-way dance with her. Seriously? She's whining that I didn't say hello? He too rolled his eyes. We've repeatedly told the staff in several office meetings that just because someone walks by your office in a rush and doesn't excitedly chit-chat with you doesn't mean they dislike you. In the same vain, if I am short with someone while frantically typing a motion or gathering documents or whatever, to assume that I dislike them gives me more credit than I deserve. Don't give this guy the same credit.

 

Thing is, if you want to survive in ANY industry, you're going to have to get much thicker skin...particularly in anything to do with production - it's a rejection riddled industry.

[Star Gazer]

I feel like just quitting. I'm sick of putting huge amounts of work in (more than almost anyone there) and getting no respect. This has been true at my other jobs where I had had a real position. I don't understand why people never treat me with respect.

 

Honestly, because you haven't earned it yet. You need to put the time in. It doesn't happen overnight.