hso87 Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 This is my story I met a girl in my university before two or three months, we took a course with each other, and after two weeks we started saying to each other, then after one month I found her in the facebook I added her to my friends list and after two weeks I added her to my msn, and we started chatting with each other, so far so good. The problem is when I try to talk to her over msn she didn’t talk to me only she have over 300 friend in the facebook and on the msn, she always have many people to talk with, I talk to her in the average of every three days, but this conversation is a very short conversation cause she always say that she is busy, I know that she is interested in me cause I have asked her about this over the facebook, I told her about this problem and she said that “if I don’t like you I will block you – cause am afraid of none” And after this nothing changed the thing still as it is she always busy and talking to a lot of people, after that I get mad of her and I haven’t talk to her for one week, then she told my friend over msn that I am mad from her and she told him about the reason why she didn’t talk to me much more, she said that she always talk to a lot of people and in the summer she is always busy with her family. After that she started chatting and joking with me, and I am now confusing because I really like her and I want to know much more about her but I don’t know what to do. This is my problem I don’t know if she thinks about me too or not. Please if you have the answers of my problem I will be grateful. Thank you all Link to post Share on other sites
Pedigree Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 The price of having an extremely popular friend (it always seems to be girls for some reason), I'm afraid. My suggestion, don't force an interaction because she's gonna dislike you for it. You can try to interact but don't get pissed and think that everything's down the drain because she's not responding. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 As Pedigree said, the lady is obviously very popular. This means that she will ALWAYS have many options of things to do and place to be...with a LOT of different people, likely of both genders. If your nature is to act clingy/needy and get jealous, then this is NOT the woman for you to consider as "girlfriend material". You already don't accept a big part of who she is -- popular with LOTS of friends. If your ideas of romantic relationships include that your partner must make your needs and desires the centre of everything she thinks, says or does, then this is NOT the woman for you to consider as "girlfriend material". You ALREADY KNOW that is not her style, right now. You ALREADY KNOW that her interests are more about being social and having a variety of options about who she hangs out with, when, where, what, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
vintagecat Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 It appears that you have made it plenty clear that you wish to have a relationship with this girl that goes beyond occasional online chats where she cuts it short because she is "too busy". If she were truly interested in anything beyond this, you would be there by now. I know that if I meet someone that I am interested in pursuing a relationship with, (friendship or whatever) I'd make time for them and if I were busy, I wouldn't leave them hanging, I'd set up future plans or contact to make plans for quality one on one time. Chances are, this is a nice girl that doesn't want to hurt your feelings but doesn't want to either advance or maintain whatever relationship that you do have. Very likely she's hoping that you will get the hint without having to tell you outright and potentially upset you for no good reason. The tactics of repeated "I'm busy" are very common with nice girls and it works on almost all unwanted offers and if you are a hard case and don't get it eventually, you will upset and maybe frighten her. If you ask her about this outright she will get very uncomfortable and either lie to make you feel better and resume the I'm busy thing or will tell you more than you want to hear and block you completely. Just get the message. Don't get mad, don't sulk. Chemistry is a weird thing, just move on. My question is why would you would accept this purely and very loose acquaintance relationship as a friendship? Surely it would be better to move on and find someone more suited to you as Ronnie said and that has time that they want to spend with you. Figure out what attracts you to this girl and think about whether those things that attract you are things missing in yourself or your life and if so, go find ways to build those things in your daily life. Good luck to you. Love and friendship are both very necessary but hard things to get right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hso87 Posted June 28, 2008 Author Share Posted June 28, 2008 thanks , but you know i like this girl very much she's very sweet, i dont think this seriously in any girl before, i think i really love her but i cant tell her cause i dont want to break down this friendship and i dont want to hear "no" or something like that she didn't give me time to let her know me more, i want to know what to do thanks again, am so upset now and am really gutted. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 , am so upset now and am really gutted. Okay...but you must surely recognize that is not an appropriate response about a girl you hardly know, who hardly knows you. Right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hso87 Posted June 28, 2008 Author Share Posted June 28, 2008 ya I know of course, i dont know what to do, u know all of the story and i dont know what to do now, how to make her know me much more or anything else, am confused this is the thing :S Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 i dont know what to do now, how to make her know me much more Well, here's the thing: (Are you sitting down?) She does not appear to be at all interested in getting to know you any further. What to do is nurse your sad feelings...for a SHORT time...and then set about to meet someone else who IS interested in getting to know you. That's it. All you can do. Ultimately, forget about this one for anything more than you already have. There is nothing more for you to do, here. Link to post Share on other sites
Pedigree Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 I don't know, man. hso87, if you have shown signs of interest (flirted etc.) and you still don't get enough time to interact, I'd agree with the assessment that you've been politely rejected. But if you haven't shown signs of interest, I'd say that she's just 1) not aware of it and 2) considers you more of an acquaintance rather than a friend and as such lower on her social priority. Having said that, you've made a mistake when you confronted her about the lack of interaction. I've found that with popular people like this (and this is not even romantically), it's best to wait until they get around to you. Whether it be 6 days, 6 weeks, or 6 months, there comes a time when they want to meet up with you. If you want to try to show her you're interested, do it whenever you get to meet her in person. Otherwise, don't try to force her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hso87 Posted June 29, 2008 Author Share Posted June 29, 2008 she told me that it wount still like this our convs, cause she's very busy these days. I dont know do i have to forget her or what? am really gutted and confused and i will never force any1 to be my friend, i have a great respect of myself of course and about meeting her face 2 face, its abig problem cause she didn't take in this summer any courses so ill not meet her in the Uni till the bigining of Oct Link to post Share on other sites
Pedigree Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 and i will never force any1 to be my friend, i have a great respect of myself of course So you should. I'm just warning you against it because your little "Why aren't you talking to me?" isn't gonna help. You won't see her for some time but you've got her on facebook and msn. Make the most of those (without being stalkerish) but realize that if something happens, it happens and if it doesn't, it doesn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Suiyobi Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 @ hso87: Hey, I know how you feel man. I recently liked a girl and she seemed like the center of attention even if she didn't mean to, a popular girl with not enough time on her hands. But she's also sweet and fun to be around with, which I can see why lots of people (especially guys) want to be with her. I was one of those guys. The only thing I can say is to let her be and for you to let her go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hso87 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Share Posted June 30, 2008 Thank you all for giving me ur advices, but I think that I understand the meaning of "love", love is somthing stuped, feeling that only the stuped 1s carry in their heart cause no 1 deserv that stuped feeling, **** love ; thats all , thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Suiyobi Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 That's the spirit, man. Build a hardened heart and they will come. Link to post Share on other sites
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