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Uh oh I had sex with him? now what?


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toowarmhearted

OK so I am "pining" over the guy who dumped me two weeks ago for no apparent reason. I have a wedding to attend and I ask a "platonic friend to attend with me. It's only been two weeks from my break up and I am vulnerable I know. However this friend of mine is really good looking and I had once considered dating him before. We ended up staying only as friends and continued talking and hanging out once in a while.

 

So he accompany's me to this wedding looking so good, I had too much wine. By the end of the night I nearly attacked him, I started kissing him and he kissed me back. I got crazy and all I could think of was "jumping his bones". Wow that's crazy and not even like me! "Well I did it" and he let me. He even told me that he had been watching me dance all night at the wedding and is attracted to me. Now I feel awkward and I am not sure what to do about it. To my surprise he was amazing in bed and I know we both enjoyed it. I think i would also consider dating him, ,,but he was kinda distant the next day with me and I don't don't' quite know what to do about it.

 

Since we were good friends he knows all about my heart ache of a few weeks ago. I wonder if he thinks i used him, or if he regrets it. I would like to ask him if he would consider seeing me differently but "don't guys hate girls taking about that stuff after sex?" .......I need good advice from a man! What should I say or how should I approach him now that we've had mad crazy passionate sex? or should I?

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i'm not a guy, but i think you are currently giving him too much power. if you guys are good enough friends, talk to him about it, tell him how you feel. if i were him, (and necessarily then a guy, )however, i would be nervous about dating someone recently out of a romantic upheaval.

 

for now, don't call him. don't email him. if your intuition suggests he is being detached, trust yourself and know the only safe response to distance after sex is more distance, its not the Rules, its just good emotional physics - get busy. go on meaningless dates, go to a class, start doing all the stuff you loved but forgot about while consumed with the last guy. he might call, he might not. but if you call you will actually hurt your chances for further play from him.

 

you sound so passionate, intelligent, and loving - i'd love to have you as a female friend - don't you want a man who will appreciate those rare qualities instead of being maybe freaked out by them?

 

xox j

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toowarmhearted

Wow that was good advice..thank you....I think I will take your suggestions and put them in action. I only hope he and I will remain friends and that he doesn't assume i used him. I didn't I actually enjoyed the sex and didn't realize or even think that he could have been that good. Well, I have learned the hard way that bye chasing a man they only run away. SO I am gonna go about doing my own thing and perhaps he'll call. Thank you for the advice and the compliments....much appreciated.

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