Jennifer26 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 This would depend on what type of context that the woman sent her pictures in. If she sent them to her close male friend it would be differant then if she posted pictures of herself on a web site of her's. Agreed. In my case, I wasn't corresponding with men one to one. I posted a photograph of myself topless in a thread on a different web forum where people were doing the same. It was a voyeurism type thread. I didn't interact with anyone. I just showed my bits and that was that. Link to post Share on other sites
Haloandhorns85 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 I feel the exact same way. I'm so glad my girl isn't so insecure that she feels threatened by an actress in a movie. Many of those who blame porn for the problems in their relationship remind me of the parents who blame entertainment (music, videogames, movies etc..) for their kids deviant behavior. Instead of blaming their child or themselves for being bad parents they blame it on the entertainment industry. In this case, instead of blaming 7 years of no sex on the husband and taking her own responsibility for those 7 years she blames porn. You've never been with someone you considered hot who knew what they were doing in bed? Even if it is irrational who cares? It's entertainment. Many forms of entertainment could be considered irrational. Including most romance novels and most chick flicks.[/quote] 1st....this shows how much you really do not understand what the meaning of this thread was. It's not that women are threatened by the fake women in porn, its just that after a while, its pretty irritating to know that your man would rather look at some fake tits and airbrushed ass than at you. I certainly am not threatned if my bf looks at porn...number one reason...he'll never get with 100 yards of that chick he's fantasizing about. 2nd....She didn't blame porn. Re-read her posts. Not just the first one that, of course, a man who loves porn would be offended by. Wow...you must be one of those cuz you seemed a lil perturbed by a few silly lil humorous remarks. They were funny and meant in jest. 3rd....romance novels and chick flicks have a plot, character development, and no cheesy bow-chicka-bow-wow music. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Reading all these "porn threads', mostly started by females I notice, I really feel sorry for some of the lives guys must have to live.......... I think porn is definitely an issue when it "takes over" and the male is syblimating any urge for the real thing with his SO for the sake of porn, but sheesh, can we lighten up already ? Link to post Share on other sites
Jennifer26 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Reading all these "porn threads', mostly started by females I notice, I really feel sorry for some of the lives guys must have to live.......... I think porn is definitely an issue when it "takes over" and the male is syblimating any urge for the real thing with his SO for the sake of porn, but sheesh, can we lighten up already ?Solution: Don't be with a woman who is against porn viewing. Easy enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]I think that the reason that porn comes between couples so often, is that men and women think of their sexually differantly. Men look, women get looked at. IMO, if a boyfriend/husband wants to look at porn, that's his business. However, it does mean that his girlfriend/wife has the right within the relationship to send naked pictures/videos of herself to other men if she so chooses. The man has no right to be upset about this then. I feel the same about the stripclub issue. If the man wants to go, he can't really be stopped. However, this then gives the woman in the relationship the right to be naked around other men, if she desires. [/FONT][/COLOR] I like the turn this thread took. I have to 100% agree with Angie. This is what i was saying before and have infact used this comparison before. Men and women are different. Men like looking, women like to be looked at. If a man isn't doing anythign wrong by taking the action to seek out porn or go to strip clubs, how could a woman be doing anything wrong by posting pictures of herself or stripping while having a boyfriend? As long as we lie and tell ourselves there is no interaction going on. It's funny how men get all defensive when you use sexuality in a context that women are more turned on by. I think most men understand that women are not tured on visually by other men like men are turned on viusally by other women. So it's safe for them to keep using this comparison because it poses little threat. But when you actually compare the difference between a man's and woman's sexuality, the tables turn a little. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Women like attention, and knowing they're attractive. Like Angie said, there is a reason we wear makeup, perfume, nice clothing, have our hair done, manicures, pedicures, tan, use nice lotions, etc. etc. We're peacocks if you will. Why should we give up being noticed sexually, if men cannot give up sexually noticing other women?[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT=Arial][/FONT] Exactly! Reading all these "porn threads', mostly started by females I notice, I really feel sorry for some of the lives guys must have to live.......... I think porn is definitely an issue when it "takes over" and the male is syblimating any urge for the real thing with his SO for the sake of porn, but sheesh, can we lighten up already ? that's okay Lookingforward. I actually feel sorry for some of the lives the women must have to live..with their partner bringing porn into their lives and making her struggle with the pain and hurt, the abadonment to her and their relationship. [/FONT][/COLOR] Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 that's okay Lookingforward. I actually feel sorry for some of the lives the women must have to live..with their partner bringing porn into their lives and making her struggle with the pain and hurt' date=' the abadonment to her and their relationship.[/quote'] I have to agree with you overall. I'm not a big fan of porn. It's hurtful and degrading in most situations. There are some ladies here who are in desperate need of affection from a porn addicted husband. That's sad to me, because what kind of loser would prefer his hand to a woman? At the same time you need to understand there are guys who simply don't get enough from thier SO. What do you do then? Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Solution: Don't be with a woman who is against porn viewing. Easy enough. This is one thing we agree on. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Not differant at all, if you take into consideration how men and women interact sexually with each other. In general, it is the men who look and the women who dress to be looked at. Where I come from at least, it isn't the men who wear the short shorts. It isn't the men who put on the makeup to enhance their eyes or lips. It's the women who focus on bieng visually attractive to men. It's the men who focus on visually attractive women. In this sense, if a man is looking at naked women to become sexually stimulated, then the woman who flaunts her body around men or puts out nude or near nude pics/videos of herself on the internet is doing the same thing as the man. Very interesting idea! I'm not buying it right away though, for several reasons. Women do like to look, and men also like to be looked at. So, in this regard I think the two interactions are separate and not equal. However, I do agree that they are very similar. By actively seeking to be viewed by others you are showing yourself... actively seeking to look does not have this singular and set apart aspect. Link to post Share on other sites
Jennifer26 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 I have to agree with you overall. I'm not a big fan of porn. It's hurtful and degrading in most situations. There are some ladies here who are in desperate need of affection from a porn addicted husband. That's sad to me, because what kind of loser would prefer his hand to a woman? At the same time you need to understand there are guys who simply don't get enough from thier SO. What do you do then?I think if a man finds himself in a situation where his wife/gf isn't up for sex when he is, they need to come to some type of compromise. I would say it would be unreasonable for her to expect him to never masturbate when she isn't up for sex. If she is making unreasonable requests, they will have to try to work something out if possible. Maybe she would be okay if he was to masturbate, but just not with the porn. Maybe she would be willing to make videos with him he can view later. I don't know. It would have to be discussed and worked out though. I think lying about the porn is the worst thing man can do. Many don't realize that when they do this, they're actually making things much worse. Personally, I can tell you I would rather my husband just be upfront about it and say "I can't give it up" or "I won't give it up" (although I've never asked him to completely give it up) and deal with it from there. When he lies about it and placates me, it really does destroy his credibility and lacking trust in a marriage is such an ugly thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Jennifer26 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Very interesting idea! I'm not buying it right away though, for several reasons. Women do like to look, and men also like to be looked at. So, in this regard I think the two interactions are separate and not equal. However, I do agree that they are very similar. By actively seeking to be viewed by others you are showing yourself... actively seeking to look does not have this singular and set apart aspect. Everyone likes to feel wanted. That is true. But do men typically go to the lengths women do to be noticed? Be honest here. And yes, some women do like to look at men. But how often have you heard stories of someones wife being caught masturbating to nude pictures of Brad Pitt? How many nude magazines, strip clubs, porn, etc out there is geared towards women? Most women aren't anywhere near as visually stimulated as the average male. Not even close. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Thats why I think for a woman to send nude pics of herself FAR outweighs a guy looking at porn- because you know that some guys are going to wank over the pics. Most women wouldn't masturbate over a naked pic of a male. My SO would hit the roof if I did that- and he would probably be asking what exactly I got out of it. If you need to do that to get an ego boost, then your R is in trouble.... Link to post Share on other sites
Jennifer26 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Thats why I think for a woman to send nude pics of herself FAR outweighs a guy looking at porn- because you know that some guys are going to wank over the pics. Most women wouldn't masturbate over a naked pic of a male. My SO would hit the roof if I did that- and he would probably be asking what exactly I got out of it. If you need to do that to get an ego boost, then your R is in trouble.... And when your SO masturbates to porn, he is also wanking over some other womans pictures. Why is it okay for him to look, fantasize and get off to other women who are naked and not okay for you to have other men get off to the thought of you? Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 And when your SO masturbates to porn, he is also wanking over some other womans pictures. Why is it okay for him to look, fantasize and get off to other women who are naked and not okay for you to have other men get off to the thought of you? You just proved that the two scenarios are not equal at all. A man uses porn to get sexual gratification from solo sexual pursuits. But it wouldn't be the same if a woman showed naked pictures of herself to others, unless she was getting some kind of sexual gratification from sending out those pics. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 I think lying about the porn is the worst thing man can do. Many don't realize that when they do this, they're actually making things much worse. Personally, I can tell you I would rather my husband just be upfront about it and say "I can't give it up" or "I won't give it up" (although I've never asked him to completely give it up) and deal with it from there. When he lies about it and placates me, it really does destroy his credibility and lacking trust in a marriage is such an ugly thing. Notice that every thread about porn on LS goes on for page after page after page after page of arguing and never gets anywhere. Not that I condone lying, but that's why men lie about their porn use. They don't want to enter into the same pointless, neverending argument that you see displayed here. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 You just proved that the two scenarios are not equal at all. A man uses porn to get sexual gratification from solo sexual pursuits. But it wouldn't be the same if a woman showed naked pictures of herself to others, unless she was getting some kind of sexual gratification from sending out those pics. Thank you BO. Also, because I don't WANT people to get off on the thought of me naked, and neither do I want people to get off on the thought of my SO naked. Porn is anonymous and its subjects are getting paid- it is their job to pose nude. Link to post Share on other sites
trubella Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 porn rocks:p Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Notice that every thread about porn on LS goes on for page after page after page after page of arguing and never gets anywhere. Not that I condone lying, but that's why men lie about their porn use. They don't want to enter into the same pointless, neverending argument that you see displayed here. That's because some people will never just 'let it go' ........ it seems to define every relationship for them. Link to post Share on other sites
BUENG1 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Not differant at all, if you take into consideration how men and women interact sexually with each other. In general, it is the men who look and the women who dress to be looked at. Where I come from at least, it isn't the men who wear the short shorts. It isn't the men who put on the makeup to enhance their eyes or lips. It's the women who focus on bieng visually attractive to men. It's the men who focus on visually attractive women. In this sense, if a man is looking at naked women to become sexually stimulated, then the woman who flaunts her body around men or puts out nude or near nude pics/videos of herself on the internet is doing the same thing as the man. Yes but women do look at porn and I believe some have even posted in this thread. So the idea that women aren't stimulated by attractive men is false, and has no justification. I see plenty of man prancing around in tight sleaveless tee shirts trying to impress girls, and plenty of men in underwear commercials with no shirt in underwear commercials which girls ogle over. The comparison you make between taking naked pictures of yourself and sending them to other men and as the same as looking at anonymous people in porn holds no water. Link to post Share on other sites
Mustang Sally Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 So the idea that women aren't stimulated by attractive men is false, and has no justification. FYI - I'm an occasional porn-viewing woman. Interestingly enough, I view porn not for the men in it (they are rarely what I find "sexy" or attractive). And I don't happen to get turned on by looking at penises (peni?). Men's genitalia are just not a visual turn on for me. I get turned on by the action that is happening to the female. Meaning, seeing it makes me think about what it would feel like to have it happening to me. THAT is what turns me on about porn. Not the sight of genitals or sexy (or not) looking people. The thinking about what the sex FEELS like. Just thought I'd put that out there. Maybe I'm unusual in this way? I dunno. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 I get turned on by the action that is happening to the female. Just thought I'd put that out there. Maybe I'm unusual in this way? I dunno. I agree. 9.9 times out of ten the guys in porno's are butt ugly. I have to mentally block them out in order to sort of enjoy it. Only time I see good lookin guys are in gay porn.. but I don't find that a turn on either. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 I get turned on by the action that is happening to the female. Meaning, seeing it makes me think about what it would feel like to have it happening to me. THAT is what turns me on about porn. Not the sight of genitals or sexy (or not) looking people. The thinking about what the sex FEELS like. Just thought I'd put that out there. Maybe I'm unusual in this way? I dunno. I don't think that's unusual. Part of the appeal of money shots is imagining the feeling of cumming. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Notice that every thread about porn on LS goes on for page after page after page after page of arguing and never gets anywhere. Not that I condone lying, but that's why men lie about their porn use. They don't want to enter into the same pointless, neverending argument that you see displayed here. Well in my house there's no longer a pointless never ending argument, my husband is in his den, with a bottle of JD and his big screen tv and dvd player, I can hear the moaning voices nice and clearly. We've come to agreement.. my husband feels sex with me is an effort that's not worth the work involved but he'll oblige me occasionally but I have to ask and be sure not to ask more than once every couple weeks.. that's as good as I'm going to get, I was asked to decide if I want to take it or leave it. I opted for "leave it" option and as result we've decided that any discussions regarding sex are in the marriage are now and forever closed.No need for lying or hiding, no need for anymore pointless fights. Link to post Share on other sites
SeraBella Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 FYI - I'm an occasional porn-viewing woman. Interestingly enough, I view porn not for the men in it (they are rarely what I find "sexy" or attractive). And I don't happen to get turned on by looking at penises (peni?). Men's genitalia are just not a visual turn on for me. I get turned on by the action that is happening to the female. Meaning, seeing it makes me think about what it would feel like to have it happening to me. THAT is what turns me on about porn. Not the sight of genitals or sexy (or not) looking people. The thinking about what the sex FEELS like. Just thought I'd put that out there. Maybe I'm unusual in this way? I dunno. I think this is how most women who view porn feel. I don't mind my boyfriend's interest in porn, but he's also never chosen it over me. I am sure I would be upset if I was horny/begging for lovin' while he neglected me and sat in front of his computer staring at women he'll never have. Early in our relationship (but after we were established) he told me he loves porn and asked if that bothered me. He also made it known that it wasn't something he wanted to give up, so I made it known that I didn't mind it as long as I was satisfied. I've found the more I engage in his fantasies (whether it be actually experiencing them, or simply just discussing them), the less he wants to view porn. I don't know if this is unusual, or quite common. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Well in my house there's no longer a pointless never ending argument, my husband is in his den, with a bottle of JD and his big screen tv and dvd player, I can hear the moaning voices nice and clearly. We've come to agreement.. my husband feels sex with me is an effort that's not worth the work involved but he'll oblige me occasionally but I have to ask and be sure not to ask more than once every couple weeks.. that's as good as I'm going to get, I was asked to decide if I want to take it or leave it. I opted for "leave it" option and as result we've decided that any discussions regarding sex are in the marriage are now and forever closed.No need for lying or hiding, no need for anymore pointless fights. I think I said earlier that if he is constantly choosing porn over your real life sexual relationship, you have deeper issues than "just porn", but whatever works for you. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 I think I said earlier that if he is constantly choosing porn over your real life sexual relationship, you have deeper issues than "just porn", but whatever works for you. Oh no doubt, we have an issue and I know exactly what that issue is. My husband loves me but he is not physically attracted to me, my aging face and body turn him off sexually. It's quite simple really. Link to post Share on other sites
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