snide responses to porn...don't get mad guys

[JerseyShortie]

 

Of course, all that keeps her outta my hair. Between work and shopping and porn, my wife has no time for me at all. Like I said, a fine dining experience

 

It's clear you are into your porn. Why would she want to make time for you?

 

 

Wait a second, someone actually making sense? In a Porn Thread? I'm so stunned I don't know what else to post...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Just because you might not agree with the responses, doesn't mean they don't make sense.

 

But again, you and all the men that support porn prove again that porn trumps all for men.

[The Collector]

Sigh, you will no doubt contest the comparisons JS, but if a man took issue with his partner's vibrator, wearing make-up or short-skirts, watching chick flicks or reading romance novels, or anything else that made him feel insecure and unhappy, and she felt this was too invasive of her privacy and right to be herself, would the man be justified in making the same emotive accusations about how they all 'trumped' her love for him, that she was incapable of self-control, that she wanted to have her cake and eat it, etc? Seeing as you'll not answer the question fairly, I'll tell you. No, that would be emotional blackmail, and clearly all about the man's insecurity issues, not the woman's behaviour.

 

YOU find porn offensive and any man that professes to love YOU would do well to consider that and maybe give it up if he really wants to make YOU happy. Same goes for the other women that can't stand the thought of their partner fantasizing over anyone but them. Find a man that doesn't dig it, don't compromise if this issue is so important to you.

 

But please stop playing the martyr speaking for all or even most women. There are plenty here in this thread who have made it clear that they don't care, or even find it erotic. They don't expect their partner to only find them attractive, or to be the only person they want to fantasize over. Got it? Personally I don't care if my partner wanks themselves into a frenzy at the thought of anyone in the world, while watching porn where men are degraded surrounded with dildoes and vibrators. I hope she enjoys herself. It's cool and sexy to me. I'm not telling you to have the same attitude, but accept that a sizeable amount of people of both sexes are not threatened or upset about their partners having a healthy fantasy life. You do know what the number one sexual fantasy of women is, right? Go look it up if you don't. Have you read the collection of female sexual fantasies Women In Love? Woof woof. Fantasy is not real. No need to be jealous of Rover.

 

Clearly nothing anyone says is going to make you love porn, or think it degrades women and is proof that men hate women and don't care about their feelings.

 

And then men wonder why women are insecure or feel lacking.

 

Women aren't all insecure or feel lacking. That's you. Your bitter rants do both a disservice to all the women who don't feel victimized by porn, and to all men that are capable of watching other people have sex and still love and care for their partner.

[sb129]

 

I was comparing Taco Bell to porn, not to women. And aside from eating them, of course I don't treat women like tacos.

Of the fuzzy variety...

 

I am a woman, and I don't have a problem with porn. I find it quite amusing in general, and the hardcore stuff doesn't really float my boat, but each to their own.

 

I would much rather my BF looked at porn than strayed outside the R to get his kicks.

 

I think its silly to feel threatened by people who are effectively movie stars. I watch movies where men take their shirts off and thing "Phwoar", and i think its unrealistic to ask my BF to NOT do that. Our R isn;t affected by that. Finding other people attractive is normal- a teeny amount of jealousy can be healthy- it stops you taking eachother for granted.

 

I wouldn't be a porn star myself but many of them get paid extremely well for their troubles, and as Tan says, most normal guys just wouldn't date a porn star.

Most porn stars probably date other porn stars.

 

I don't really see what the big argument is about. The one thing i will say is that my ex used to look at porn alot, and that was fine except when he left his wadded up tissues or a toilet roll by the computer...

[JerseyShortie]

I don't speak for women that are okay with porn The Collector. Just because I use general language doesn't mean it applies to that group I never said it did. Fact is, there are women out there that are okay with porn. And there are alot of women out there that aren't. Usually my posts are in reference to the former. I never see many men make the effort to understand the many women out there that struggle with this issue. Usually they just praise the limited group of women that are good with porn because that is what makes men feel best, not because they care to really understand women. Mainly, the women that struggle with this do so because the man they love has brought it into their life and in their relationship.

 

 

Fantasy is not real. No need to be jealous of Rover

 

I never once argued that fantasy was real. It doesn't mean that men don't very much want the fantasy. It doesn't mean that men don't think about the women in the fantasy and wish to be with them. It doesn't mean that just because it is a fantasy, that it is replacing his very real, human and imperfect SO. Just because it's fantasy, doesn't mean that men don't wish to have it.

 

 

Personally I don't care if my partner wanks themselves into a frenzy at the thought of anyone in the world, while watching porn where men are degraded surrounded with dildoes and vibrators. I hope she enjoys herself. It's cool and sexy to me.

 

 

It's easy to be tolerate of another's sexuality when you define it in terms of how *you* would be turned on. That's what alot of men end up doing. They end up trying to defines women's sexuality in the exact ways men are turned on. The truth is, that women arne't always turned on by the things men are.

 

What if women were doing other sexual things that were more intune with a woman's sexuality? Masturbation and looking at porn are more defined to what turn men on. Not that women can't enjoy that, but there are other things that get women going as well. We always make it a point to say that men are visual and women are verbal. Would a woman engaging in a meaningless verbal exchange be considered fair play while her husband/bf engaged in a meaningless visual one? I wonder how many men would realistically be so open minded if women's sexuality was more defined by the things that typically turn women on , different from men, and if women in relationships were exercising their right to go after these things, how okay would men be with it. It's an intersting question. What if women were going to strip at clubs to be oggled and nothing more like the millions of men in relationships that go to clubs to oggle and nothing more. I suspect men would begin to understand better what alot of women deal with everyday just to try and make a relationship work.

 

Women aren't all insecure or feel lacking. That's you. Your bitter rants do both a disservice to all the women who don't feel victimized by porn, and to all men that are capable of watching other people have sex and still love and care for their partner.

 

Of course not all women are insecure and feel lacking. But having a medium such as porn where there are always new women, and more women, and more women coiming in, where most of them don't age, have surgery...it puts alot of women up against a white elephant that they just can't compete with. And seeing the man you love interested in this type of entertainment, makes alot of women naturally so feel like they just aren't godo enough for him.

[Lookingforward]

JS - You read too much into what I write and put too many words in my mouth for it to be worth my time to continue to respond to you.

 

tan, it's pretty obvious from her soapbox preaching that JS has far deeper issues than just a little porn....... she is WAY too invested in this for more not to be going on imo.

[carhill]

I personally like the older gals (I'm nearly 50, so infer whatever you want) with the saggy tits, especially when they moan quietly

[JerseyShortie]

tan, it's pretty obvious from her soapbox preaching that JS has far deeper issues than just a little porn....... she is WAY too invested in this for more not to be going on imo.

 

It's obvious from the soapbox defending that alot of guys do for porn, that they have deeper issues with porn as well.

[Lookingforward]

It's obvious from the soapbox defending that alot of guys do for porn, that they have deeper issues with porn as well.

 

JS, you've been ON this particular soapbox for months..........it is what it is and your preaching to the choir (or not) isn't going to change it.....

 

Deal with it in YOUR R any way you like but stop beating everyone else over the head with it. Some people can handle it in an R, some can't - why not just agree to disagree ?

[angie2443]

I think that the reason that porn comes between couples so often, is that men and women think of their sexually differantly. Men look, women get looked at. IMO, if a boyfriend/husband wants to look at porn, that's his business. However, it does mean that his girlfriend/wife has the right within the relationship to send naked pictures/videos of herself to other men if she so chooses. The man has no right to be upset about this then. I feel the same about the stripclub issue. If the man wants to go, he can't really be stopped. However, this then gives the woman in the relationship the right to be naked around other men, if she desires.

 

Really, this is an issue to be dealt with within the relationship. When you have a public debate about it, you have people with differant views on relationships telling each other that they're in the right and those who disagree with them are in the wrong.

[tanbark813]

IMO, if a boyfriend/husband wants to look at porn, that's his business. However, it does mean that his girlfriend/wife has the right within the relationship to send naked pictures/videos of herself to other men if she so chooses. The man has no right to be upset about this then.

 

Bullshyt. If a man looks at porn, then he has no right to be upset about his SO looking at porn.

 

I have no problem with my gf looking at porn but if she sent out naked pics/vids of herself there would be a big problem. Just as she has no problem with me looking at porn but if I sent out naked pics/vids of myself I would imagine she'd be upset.

 

But you are right about there being no right or wrong here. If someone does something you're so adamantly against, then don't be with that person. Problem solved.

[Lookingforward]

I think that the reason that porn comes between couples so often, is that men and women think of their sexually differantly. Men look, women get looked at. IMO, if a boyfriend/husband wants to look at porn, that's his business. However, it does mean that his girlfriend/wife has the right within the relationship to send naked pictures/videos of herself to other men if she so chooses. The man has no right to be upset about this then. I feel the same about the stripclub issue. If the man wants to go, he can't really be stopped. However, this then gives the woman in the relationship the right to be naked around other men, if she desires.

 

Really, this is an issue to be dealt with within the relationship. When you have a public debate about it, you have people with differant views on relationships telling each other that they're in the right and those who disagree with them are in the wrong.

 

 

THAT is entirely different to looking at porn............sheesh

[angie2443]

THAT is entirely different to looking at porn............sheesh

 

Not differant at all, if you take into consideration how men and women interact sexually with each other. In general, it is the men who look and the women who dress to be looked at. Where I come from at least, it isn't the men who wear the short shorts. It isn't the men who put on the makeup to enhance their eyes or lips. It's the women who focus on bieng visually attractive to men. It's the men who focus on visually attractive women. In this sense, if a man is looking at naked women to become sexually stimulated, then the woman who flaunts her body around men or puts out nude or near nude pics/videos of herself on the internet is doing the same thing as the man.

[tanbark813]

In this sense, if a man is looking at naked women to become sexually stimulated, then the woman who flaunts her body around men or puts out nude or near nude pics/videos of herself on the internet is doing the same thing as the man.

 

Then do that in your next relationship and let us know how things pan out.

[Jennifer26]

Not differant at all, if you take into consideration how men and women interact sexually with each other. In general, it is the men who look and the women who dress to be looked at. Where I come from at least, it isn't the men who wear the short shorts. It isn't the men who put on the makeup to enhance their eyes or lips. It's the women who focus on bieng visually attractive to men. It's the men who focus on visually attractive women. In this sense, if a man is looking at naked women to become sexually stimulated, then the woman who flaunts her body around men or puts out nude or near nude pics/videos of herself on the internet is doing the same thing as the man.

Angie, you make a good point.

 

While the two situations are not the same, of course, I can see your point on this. Men are visual creatures, so we're often told, they like to look at other women especially when they're naked and fantasize about them.

 

Women on the other hand are not wired this way. So saying women going to strip clubs with male strippers (notice there aren't many of them out there) and looking at naked men (how many magazines do you see with naked men geared towards women?) isn't a good comparison. For most women these things aren't what gets them 'thrilled' if you will.

 

For women, having attention from the opposite sex and being noticed like you said is far more appealing. Most women love being noticed, in the same sense that most men love noticing them.

 

I mean, so long is there is no physical contact (although, at most strip clubs the strippers are touching them men in some way) why should a woman not be able to send nude photographs of herself to other men online, or dress in garments that might be a bit risque to garner attention, or be able to dance with other men in a fashion where there is a little grinding going on.

[tanbark813]

I mean, so long is there is no physical contact (although, at most strip clubs the strippers are touching them men in some way) why should a woman not be able to send nude photographs of herself to other men online, or dress in garments that might be a bit risque to garner attention, or be able to dance with other men in a fashion where there is a little grinding going on.

 

Because in your example there is interaction with another person. There is no interaction with another person in porn.

 

A better comparison is porn is to men what romance novels are to women.

 

But like I said, try what you stated above with your SO and see where that gets you.

[blind_otter]

Because in your example there is interaction with another person. There is no interaction with another person in porn.

 

A better comparison is porn is to men what romance novels are to women.

 

But like I said, try what you stated above with your SO and see where that gets you.

 

I just wrote a long response but this sums it up nicely. Porn is not interactive. It's passive entertainment. When a woman actively sends out nude photos of herself, it is NOT passive - there is interaction.

 

Also - I don't agree that men look and women are looked at. But then again, I'm a freakish woman who looks at porn herself for sexual enjoyment, so there ya go.

[Jennifer26]

Because in your example there is interaction with another person. There is no interaction with another person in porn.

 

A better comparison is porn is to men what romance novels are to women.

 

But like I said, try what you stated above with your SO and see where that gets you.

Romance novels are so bad. I could never get turned on by one of those things, I find them very cheesy. I don't know too many women who read them either - I do however, know a lot of men who look at porn.

 

Is there not interaction with another person when a male goes to a strip club?

 

Also, if a women is sending a nude picture of herself to someone online - how is that different from a guy going in and using a video porn chat type of thing?

 

Or if a woman just decides to post a picture of herself in a larger setting, and isn't actually interacting one to one with anyone, isn't that similar to when a guy is going and looking at these nude pictures of women without actually talking to anyone.

 

For the record, I have sent a nude picture of myself online, while married. But I won't go into all of that right now.

 

Women like attention, and knowing they're attractive. Like Angie said, there is a reason we wear makeup, perfume, nice clothing, have our hair done, manicures, pedicures, tan, use nice lotions, etc. etc. We're peacocks if you will. Why should we give up being noticed sexually, if men cannot give up sexually noticing other women?

[tanbark813]

Is there not interaction with another person when a male goes to a strip club?

 

There is but the topic is porn. That's another thread.

 

Also, if a women is sending a nude picture of herself to someone online - how is that different from a guy going in and using a video porn chat type of thing?

 

It's not much different. But again, you're getting off topic. The topic was porn.

 

Or if a woman just decides to post a picture of herself in a larger setting, and isn't actually interacting one to one with anyone, isn't that similar to when a guy is going and looking at these nude pictures of women without actually talking to anyone.

 

No, it's not similar.

 

For the record, I have sent a nude picture of myself online, while married. But I won't go into all of that right now.

 

I'm sure it didn't go over well.

 

Women like attention, and knowing they're attractive. Like Angie said, there is a reason we wear makeup, perfume, nice clothing, have our hair done, manicures, pedicures, tan, use nice lotions, etc. etc. We're peacocks if you will. Why should we give up being noticed sexually, if men cannot give up sexually noticing other women?

 

No one is telling you what you should or shouldn't do. Like I said, put your money where your mouth is. Post nude pics and vids of yourself, let your H know, and report back to us what happened. Let us know if he's suddenly seen "the error of his ways".

[Jennifer26]

 

 

No, it's not similar.

 

 

 

I'm sure it didn't go over well.

 

 

 

No one is telling you what you should or shouldn't do. Like I said, put your money where your mouth is. Post nude pics and vids of yourself, let your H know, and report back to us what happened. Let us know if he's suddenly seen "the error of his ways".

I disagree then. Of course they aren't the same thing. One is a man looking at nude women, the other is a woman putting out nude pictures for men to look at her. Sure they are different, but when you consider how each sex is wired, I think it makes perfect sense what Angie has said.

 

It didn't go over as badly as you might expect.

 

Um, I already said I posted a picture of myself nude. And several where I am wearing lingerie. My husband knows about it. If he cares, he didn't show it too much. And no, he didn't, he still looks at porn, still ogles other women on a pretty regular basis.

[tanbark813]

Um, I already said I posted a picture of myself nude. And several where I am wearing lingerie. My husband knows about it. If he cares, he didn't show it too much. And no, he didn't, he still looks at porn, still ogles other women on a pretty regular basis.

 

Cool. Then it sounds like you guys are good to go.

[angie2443]

Because in your example there is interaction with another person. There is no interaction with another person in porn.

 

A better comparison is porn is to men what romance novels are to women.

 

But like I said, try what you stated above with your SO and see where that gets you.

 

Most women I know do not read romance novels. I don't think that they are all that popular.

[Jennifer26]

Most women I know do not read romance novels. I don't think that they are all that popular.

I know, right!

 

I'm sorry, but the thought of Fabio whisking me away on some sandy beach with a picnic basket and some wine doesn't exactly get my heart racing.

[angie2443]

Women like attention, and knowing they're attractive. Like Angie said, there is a reason we wear makeup, perfume, nice clothing, have our hair done, manicures, pedicures, tan, use nice lotions, etc. etc. We're peacocks if you will. Why should we give up being noticed sexually, if men cannot give up sexually noticing other women?

 

This is exactly what I'm talking about. A woman shouldn't have to give up bieng noticed and/or interacted with other men sexually, if men don't have to give up noticing other woman sexually. Again, it all depends on the bounderies agreed upon in the relationship.

[angie2443]

I know, right!

 

I'm sorry, but the thought of Fabio whisking me away on some sandy beach with a picnic basket and some wine doesn't exactly get my heart racing.

 

My husband got a hug from Fabio once. It was at some opening for a business and Fabio was joking around with people in the crowd and picking up guys who wanted their picture taken with them. My husband said he is actually a funny and easy going guy. I wasn't attracted to him when he was just on the book covers, but now that I've seen a bit of his personality, bieng whisked away by him does sound like fun:).

[angie2443]

I just wrote a long response but this sums it up nicely. Porn is not interactive. It's passive entertainment. When a woman actively sends out nude photos of herself, it is NOT passive - there is interaction..

 

This would depend on what type of context that the woman sent her pictures in. If she sent them to her close male friend it would be differant then if she posted pictures of herself on a web site of her's.