only talking twice a week

[stacey101]

My boyfriend has gone overseas for 6 weeks. This is the longest we have been apart. We live together and are very serious.

 

He has barely been contacting me from overseas. He says he only wants to talk on the phone twice a week. He says it hurts him when he talks to me. He prefers to keep busy and try to block it out. Do some people feel like this?

 

I'm the opposite. I want to talk to him everyday. It feels better to me that way, knowing that everything is still ok between us and that he still loves me. How do I resolve this? I have told him that I want to talk to him more often.

[Nevermind]

6 weeks...I wouldn't stress it. That's 12 times you're going to talk and then he is already coming back.

 

Saying that it hurts him is a sign that he misses you, too. Get busy in the 6 weeks and don't cling to him, not too much at least.

[HisLove]

Well I can see both sides. Of course, as women, we generally want to talk all the time and stay close and know what's going on.

 

On the other hand, men compartmentalise very well usually. He's there to do a job and needs to focus on that. Talking to you more than he 'can' obviously distracts him and makes his time drag on even longer.

 

I think that's how I'd manage it. Tell myself that for him to talk to me more than twice per week makes his week drag on twice as much and I really wouldn't want that for him.

 

If you are gracious and supportive (bite your tongue, sit on your hands, and tell yourself all sorts of stories to get in that frame of mind lol), he will be so appreciative of the wonderful and understanding girlfriend he has. Not rolling his eyes at the nagger who emotionally sucks what energy he has promised to you. I'd be wanting him eager to get home to me, not dreading the phone calls because you sound dissatisfied.

 

I hope I explained that well. I really understand how you feel.

[Eilonwy]

When I'm away from home, calling always makes me feel bad, too. I feel way worse than if I just try not to think about it.

 

Also, it's just 6 weeks... you said you two live together and are very serious. I really don't think you have to worry about him still loving you during this short break.

[pcherokee]

Since it's only 2 times a week, which isn't that terrible actually since it's only 6 weeks total, what matters more is not the number of times he may call you, but the quality of these calls. Try to appreciate the limited time you have right now, and use it communicate in ways you may not be used to. You'll be amazed at the type of relationship you can have when it's just over the phone/email/letter. In some ways it's even more personal than a physical relationship.