JimMorrison Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Well, My friends are about my age (early 20s) and have been married for over five years. They married at a very young age, and recently the husband broke it off with her. She was very upset and moved back to our hometown, and he lives hundreds of miles away. He started seeing a new girl and told her he isn’t attracted to her anymore. He says the new girl makes her feel happy, and that’s all he can say. She says they will be filing for divorce soon. I have known my friend since kindergarten and I’ve known this woman for about 7 years. We have always connected on many levels and she was always very friendly with me. So, long story short, we have sex a few times since she is heartbroken and back here. I feel bad because even though my friend was the one to break her heart, he is my best friend. They seemed to be doing very well, and this all came very fast to me. I felt that I would be helping her to feel a little better by showing some affection, albeit a lot of affection. She says this feels right to her and she could fall in love with me at the drop of a hat. Says I’m much better in bed, etc, and makes me feel pretty good. I only see my friend about once a year these days since he lives so far away now. I’m seeing her more often, and we end up fooling around. If that's not enough – she is having his kid and is already several months in. I tried to talk to her about this situation. My parents barked at me hoping that there is nothing going on between us, because they are married and she is pregnant. I told her that this doesn’t feel 100% right. She thinks it does, but seems to understand the ramifications behind this. She says she isn't looking for a new father, and I have helped her feel alright about the situation. I worry because I feel I am interfering with the natural course of events, and that I am involved with close friends. What do you say to such a situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Stay the F outta this until the divorce papers are finalized!!! does this friend know his soon to be ex is preggo with hish kid? does he even care? Dont mess with her until she gets her mind right. It's not right to you or him. Who knows he may want to come back nto the picture but if he finds out your porking his ex, he might not be too happy with you! Seriously dont mess with her until she clears everything out. She's probably leaning to you because she doesnt have anyone right now and is in alot of pain. you dont want to be the fallback guy do you? Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 I worry because I feel I am interfering with the natural course of events, and that I am involved with close friends. What do you say to such a situation?[ Yep! Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimMorrison Posted June 30, 2008 Author Share Posted June 30, 2008 Yeah he knows she is pregnant. That is what made me say wtf about this friend, how could he ditch her at a moment like that? He claims he cares about the kid, and says thats the only good thing they have going for them. But you are right it is way to fresh to be messing around the situation. I'll let her know that things should be resolved first thing first. I was just trying to help her numb some pain but now she needs to straighten out herself. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Yeah he knows she is pregnant. That is what made me say wtf about this friend, how could he ditch her at a moment like that? He claims he cares about the kid, and says thats the only good thing they have going for them. But you are right it is way to fresh to be messing around the situation. I'll let her know that things should be resolved first thing first. I was just trying to help her numb some pain but now she needs to straighten out herself. God just keep your distance from her and be there to support her when she needs it, because the story goes like this. you get with her you start falling for her, you take in the baby as your own as a stepkid, the divorce is finalized, you are off in your merry ways, then some time later the ex starts calling, starts spending time with the kid, then she becomes confused because the ex is now caring and all her old feelings are popping up. Trust me I've seen it before more times than I can count. Dont be the fallback. Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 She might say she isn't looking for a baby-daddy, but put yourself in her shoes, it's going to be a factor. If she is suddenly all in love with you, be smart. Are you a 'good provider' type by any chance? Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 So you're having sex with her while she's pregnant with another person's child? That's kinda gross.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimMorrison Posted June 30, 2008 Author Share Posted June 30, 2008 i know i know it was wrong! there was always sexual tension between us in the years, and she made heavy advances on me and at the time they were hard to resist. so i made a mistake and learned from it. Link to post Share on other sites
theobserver Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Doesn't really seem your friend is going to give a crap. He's out there getting his willy wet while his soon to be ex is preggers. If you truely love her then you know what screw it you're already in deep. Just be aware you could be the safety rebound so she has a family unit for the child she may not truely love you but then again maybe she does and the fact she's pregnant is just part of it. Though think about it I doubt she wants to be alone at a time like this your perfect rebound material and with her hormones all out of whack now anyone treating her with some respect has a chance to be a knight in shining armor previous sexual tension or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimMorrison Posted July 1, 2008 Author Share Posted July 1, 2008 Thanks. That's how I felt, my friend wouldnt really give a crap or they wouldnt be in such a situation. I do love her and I think she really loves me, but as I told her this is too soon for anything solid, and she agrees. She has me convinced that this all happened for a reason and seems to not be distraught over the loss. Although I felt a bit wrong, I feel a bit right, thats why I wrote here and I appreciated each and everyone's input. If she wasnt pregnant I'd feel more right about the situation but I'll let her cool off a bit and let the course of actions continue naturally. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Leave her alone until she has the baby and gets over the so called snake of a friend. You dont want to be a scumbag by moving in on your homies ex. Reguardless. It doesnt look right. Your homie is caught up in the affair and once his Ochick drops him. he will come crawling back!!!!! watch my words! he will in some form or manner, then what? Your gonna be the uncomfortable 3rd wheel! Link to post Share on other sites
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