homey76 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 I am at the end of the line here at only 7 months into a marriage that has been pretty much, sheer hell since day 1. It was last year that we were an in love, seemingly happy couple. Then, the worst reason to get married happened, she was pregnant. I tried to convince her that we were not ready, and that there were alternatives, including adoption. She would not listen. My parents taught me my whole life that if one has a child with someone, you HAVE to get married. Well, stupidly, I went along with this advice, and it was the worst decision, to date, I have ever made. My wife is emotionally, mentally, and verbally abusive. Whenever I attempt to have some time to myself, I am berated by her. I am never doing enough for her, for our son. I work all day and pay the bills, and she stays at home. Still, it's never enough. I'm always wrong, she's always right. She has the "Princess Syndrome", in my terms. Her dad pined to her every need growing up, and now she expects me to spoil her like that. It's just not right. I have been through this rollercoaster for 7 months, and do to my own personal issues with being pre-disposed to depression, I cannot honestly say I can stay here much longer. I would rather, at this point, get a legal separation, or just separate prior to any divorce proceedings. Within a year, I think I will begin the divorce. I cannot take this anymore.. I don't think she will ever change.. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 You never mentioned if you both have been in marriage counseling together.. With a child being held in the balance wouldn't it feel prudent to go to a therapist to see if there as easy fixes for some of your road blocks.. It seems to me that maybe you both have 2 different directions and you are not seeing the future the same way... Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 How long did you guys date before you got married? I do agree that getting married just because of pregnancy is wrong. My friends did the same thing 2 years ago and they are sooo miserable together. Link to post Share on other sites
SingleDad Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Wow Deja Vu - except we have been together 7 years married for 3.5 years and daughter 2.5 years old. From her birth, my STBXW felt it was her right to control my every action and interaction with my daughter - we grew distand and she filed for divorce. Now I'm paying her a lump sum plus child support for next 19 years. Sounds like she might have post-partum depression. Counseling is important. She might just be overwhemled with the challenges of raising a child... by the time you get home from work, she is likely exhausted and expects that you will arrive home and immediately take over. You should sit down and talk and clarify what each of your expectations are. I strongly believe that you have made committments to your spouse and to your son. Marriage is not always easy - especially when young children are involved - I would try to see if you can satisfy your wife's needs and if there is anything she can do to satisfy your needs - it should be a team effort. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 "Pilot to crew! Pilot to crew Bail out! Bail out! Every man for himself! Abandon ship! Abandon Ship!" Statistically the divorce rate for men that get married under the age of twenty five is 90%. The divorce rate for men who got married because she got "pregno" is 90% Thus your misery-divorce rate is 110%! Getting and staying married because of cultural/societial/religious/parential convictions and inluences is BS! And seldom if ever works? The only difference between your marriage and the Titantic is the Titantic had a band playing as she went under the waves! IC and MC at this stage of the game isn't going to help. She's got to want to learn and grow, and with the "Princess" mentallity that's not going to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 The only difference between your marriage and the Titantic is the Titantic had a band playing as she went under the waves! . LOL . I have already heard this said before, here on LS. Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 You go boy! Buck the 21st Century trend. Be a "Walk Away Husband" and a role mode for generations of young men yet unborn! If it's good for women, it's good for men. I hope there is a Walk Away Husband for every Walk Away Wife. Until we have equality in the home and bedroom we cannot be truely equal. Someday maybe they will give us back the vote! Link to post Share on other sites
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