Taking the plunge

[thebrunette]

I'll try to keep this short, any advice would really help declutter my head!

 

I really like a guy that I used to see around my old workplace but never got to speak to (huge workplace), that I recently randomly found on an online profile site via area search when looking to make new friends. I added him explaining the work recognition, and we sent a couple of messages back and forth, all polite but short and sweet. He didn't reply to my last message even though I know he has been online, in which I was basically saying a friend and I might pop along to an upcoming local gig he has. Hence why the lack of reply has made me feel uneasy. Ever the one to ignore hints, I sent him another message via a dating site we both go on, a friendly one not flirting just saying hi etc, but I sent it to basically show that I am available hence being on a dating site. He has not replied yet but that was only yesterday and so probably has not even read it yet (or maybe he has and isn't interested).

 

I want to go to this gig/event in a couple of weeks and my friend does too, which is why if he does not contact me before then I will feel uncomfortable both going in the first place, and then seeing him/ approaching him/ making conversation. This is quite arrogant and I feel bad about it, but I was hoping if he saw me in person he would perhaps be interested. I am quite naive and bad at picking up signals, either positive or negative, but I really want to at least be friends with this man. I am 23 and he is nearly 30. Everyone I have asked advice on, including my mum, says this age gap is not too great. I'm not so sure if he will see it the same way though as the idea of us dating has never cropped up yet.

 

So I guess i am wondering if I should continue to pursue him, whether to go to this event (and I probably will do because it should be a good night with my friend anyway), and if I see him, how to approach or speak to him. I am not an obvious flirt and have just got out of a 3 year relationship with a very jealous and possessive man. All I want is for someone to be a good friend and maybe take it further if there is a genuine mutual attraction. I feel guilty even liking a man after this relationship I have got out of because I've basically never looked at one in 3 years out of fear. Am I creepy to a new guy? I am so bad at this, it is all new to me again and I don't want to scare him off but i may have done already. I won't message him again unless he replies to me because I don't want to be annoying. I just wanted to get to know him better as we seem to have lots in common. I feel quite low at the moment as this childish situation has knocked my confidence.