lifesucks Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 Why do we fool ourselves there is no such thing as love what it really is, is just people that have learned to tolerate each other. The reason I say this is I have been trying to lose my virginity since i was 18 i am now 42 and still cannot find a woman that is in the least bit interested in going out on a date with me. The word love really means nothing more than you'll suffice for now but if something comes along before I get comfortable with you I am outta here. At least that is what it seems from this end alll these woman saying oh i am looking for a man that blah blah blah same bs differant day I never use to think this way but I have had it with trying to ask woman out I always seem to get my head handed to me what gives ladies? and online dating is bs also been there done that not one reply sorry i dont look like Brad pitt but your no beauties yourselves Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 for the purposes of losing your virginity, there're always hookers. good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
longlegzs80 Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 Just afew questions if you don't mind. Just curious as to where you meet these women? You mentioned online dating, but I can't see that being a very successful thing to do, not for you or anyone. Maybe I am wrong but anyways, maybe you need to take a different approach to finding a good women. But before I get into that, do you have any friends that are female? Just want to see what their response is to you not finding women who are interested in you. I don't know how you are personality wise, and what kinds of things you do in your spare time or hobbies or interests, but I really think you need to get yourself out there, and talk to women. If a women let say shows interest, don't cling on to her right away, just ask her if she would be interested in meeting up sometime for coffee, whatever. I don't know how your approach is to women either, but that is one approach if you meet someone who is somewhat interested in you. But I know how you feel. I am female and kinda wanta give up on the dating thing just because I don't know how to approach men, and I am afraid of rejection. So, been living a lonely life. GEt out there and meet the women. Try a variety of spots like the beach, coffee shops etc., and you will find someone. And don't try so hard. Do your everyday thing, maybe try to change your attitude and have a positive outlook on life. I know, easier said then done. But that might be something else you need to work on to meeting a women and having her stick around. My mom and I were talking the other day and she said that there are alot of lonely people in the world and it is a sad thing. Which it is. That is why, you need to go up to a women that you find attractive, and that you make eye contact with and introduce yourself. But that too is easier said then done. You have gone through life long enough without a women and sex that its about time you get it, and get it good. With being a women, I can tell that you need something that will make you happy. Sure it might be a certain someone in your life, but to get to that point, you need to take more of a positive approach and approach a women that interests you and introduce yourself like I said before. I really don't know what to tell you. I find myself in the same boat, and my mom is in the same boat too, except that we are both not virgins. WEll, hope this helps and take care. Things will look up for you, you just need some positive incuriagement. Take care and keep us posted. Link to post Share on other sites
moongoddess Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 I wouldn't be crazy about a guy who's into reading up on "rules" and gaining the upper hand with women: a little too sexist and insincere for my taste. Women aren't lying when they say they want a nice guy, but what they're leaving out is: nice means decent, not desperate, not a doormat, and not bland or boring. Women are people and people are different. But I myself am turned on by intelligence, self reliance (can think for themselves), someone who is a decent human being but can be challenging personality wise, that doesn't agree with everything I say and isn't too available or too eager. Have outside interests that you're passionate about. Women will long to have you transfer that passion onto them. And being attractive helps. Look your best. For men who aren't Brad Pitt (I'm not into Brad Pitt by the way, just using him as an example), simply look your best and be open to women who may not be Julia Roberts (not that I think she's the most beautiful). Last but not least, DON'T WHINE. Or at least, don't whine in the presence of women you're interested in. It is a major turn off. If you need to bitch and moan, that's what Loveshack is for. Cynthia Link to post Share on other sites
NewMommy Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 Your obviously just looking in the wrong places for women...or maybe you only go after women that are out of your league. Ever watched to movie "Shallow Hal"? If not, then I suggest you do. It could clue you in, if that is how you are. I mean, you don't have to be "Brad Pitt" to attract women...there is someone out there for everyone. Maybe you just have your standards set a little too high...I mean, I am not saying just settle for whoever will have you, but don't go for women that are out of your league. I mean don't expect to get a supermodel all the time. Go rent Shallow Hal. And yes, there is such a thing is love...how can you deny something you've never experienced? Once you meet the right girl..you will believe in love too. And if you are that desperate to lose your virginity, like yes said, just go pay for a hooker. It's not what I would do, but if you are that desperate, hell, why not. That's what they are there for. But....ewww. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lifesucks Posted July 29, 2003 Author Share Posted July 29, 2003 First of all going to a hooker, out of the question, as for the movie shallow hal, I am not shallow i am a caring emotional person I would never put any one down no matter what they looked like also I am not out there hitting on every pretty girl second I am not looking for a beautiful unobtainable woman I cant describe what I see in women it could be anything a smile, her eyes, her laugh, how easily she is to talk to, it may even be the way she looks at me, but its not a total physical thing also dont tell me that when we look for a mate there isnt some sort of measurement of physical beauty that we use as a benchmark as for whining I dont whine to anyone other than here and its not really whining just venting a little steam before I go crazy I have read books on how to approach women I try to be as nonthreatening as possible I dont stare at a woman so as not to make her uncomfortable. As for the internet dating I have subscribed to numerous dating sites for 9 years replyed to countless women and still nothing I even had a friend (girl) help me write an ad to kind of get a female perspective and still nothing even she was amazed at how picky some women were on the net your preaching to the wrong choir on that one. I leave with one thing to ponder it is better to love and lost than never to have loved you figure it out Link to post Share on other sites
Gray Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 Originally posted by longlegzs80 You mentioned online dating, but I can't see that being a very successful thing to do, not for you or anyone. Maybe I am wrong Yeah you are wrong. I've heard a lot about various successes, but from my own experience I can tell you it does indeed work. I filled out a profile for on a dating site, but then decided against subscribing, and basically gave up on it. Two days later a girl emailed me and we began emailing then talking on the phone. She was about an hour drive away from me, so i was reluctant to meet her because I didn't think it would turn into anything, but we had so much in common I figured I'd give it a shot. We're just shy of 2 years now and I can honestly say this is the best relationship I've ever had. The woman I'm going to marry found me, and I'm lucky for some reason we both went to that site. Neither of us have done anything remotely resembling a dating service before. She is beyond beautiful, smart and enjoys all the same things I do, its just... amazing. Of course its not always going to work. And there are precautions you need to take. But they do work. And for the poster maybe you can take that as a story of inspiration that there is love out there. Maybe your standards are too high? Or more than likely, you just need some self-confidence, and get some courage to approach women. Link to post Share on other sites
longlegzs80 Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 It depends though. Some people might have success at dating online. That is great. If you feel like it works for you then go for it. As far as me, I have had no success. But don't take what I say really personal. I just don't think they work, or that it is the best way of meeting someone. Online, you can make yourself sound like the person of that persons dreams, then you meet and the other person is totally disappointed because they thought they were meeting someone who they thought was going to be perfect. I guess it is all up to you as to what you want to do. I just think you can tell alot of lies and build yourself up to something your not when your doing those online meeting place things. But, just wanted to give my two cents. I think your best bet is going out and meeting women. I strongly don't think you should get a hooker, and it seems like your not interested in that anyways. I know I wouldn't if I were a guy. You have feelings and care and would like someone to share your life with. That is something I want too. But the only way your going to do it and meet someone is if you go out amongst the public. And another thing. Life sucks only if you do nothing to make it better for yourself, and you need some happiness, sure we all do. But do the things you enjoy by yourself or with friend and see where it goes and you will meet someone. And there are decent women out there just like there are decent men, but they are hard to find. I am 22 and don't know what is wrong with me because I have not dated. And I really don't want to take the risk of meeting someone from the online dating services. Meet people off line before and they built themselves up to me as being the perfect kind of guy, decent, respectful etc., but the guys that Ihave met have not been decent at all. Anyways, I just wanted to give you what I think. Who knows if it is right or not. Do whatever you feel is right and if the online thing works for you, then tell me I am wrong just like good ol Gary did. Take care and good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lifesucks Posted July 29, 2003 Author Share Posted July 29, 2003 Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
longlegzs80 Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 Life sucks, I don;t know if your interested or not and yes this is off topic, but in the Water Cooler, there is a thread started by me about Pictures and lets see them. Anyways, not sure if you are up to it or not, but it is good to see who you are talking to, if you would like to put your picture up there. Just curious. No pressure or anything. Take care. Good luck to you and the dating scene. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lifesucks Posted July 29, 2003 Author Share Posted July 29, 2003 I would but cant post attachments just to show certain people I am not some ugly troll I am an actor/model in NYC been on sex and city and sopranos so there doubters Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 I have subscribed to numerous dating sites for 9 years replyed to countless women and still nothing I even had a friend (girl) help me write an ad to kind of get a female perspective and still nothing even she was amazed at how picky some women were on the net your preaching to the wrong choir on that one. I don't mean this to be offensive--but when you answer women's ads, do you use punctuation? (I don't know if you are just on a vent here or if this is your normal style.) Shallow or not, I know a lot of women who do Next guys if they don't seem to be able to string together a coherent sentence via e-mail. Link to post Share on other sites
superd Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 well to me your writing seems alright, just because your don't adhere to the traditional rules of grammar which is just convention if you think about it and don't punctuate, doesn't mean you aren't a smart or good guy, much less not a good catch. I had no luck with the internet dating thing either, I think that girls on those things are usually the shallow type. Girls that give you an I.Q. test really don't know what true smarts are about, they just know what they learned in grammar school and stopped learning after that. keep the faith dude, you need a smart girl like me and believe me, she is out there. Keep looking. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Do you use 'lifesucks' as your user name in online dating services? It's not really one that bespeaks a positive attitude, you know... Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 just because your don't adhere to the traditional rules of grammar which is just convention if you think about it and don't punctuate, doesn't mean you aren't a smart or good guy, much less not a good catch. Just convention? Okay, whatever. I agree that poor grammar doesn't (necessarily) mean you aren't a smart or good guy. BUT: There is a lot of competition out there. If you write to a woman who has 40, 60, or 100+ responses in her inbox that she is trying to go through, first impressions mean a lot. Your profile and your first e-mail make or break it. If there are two guys who seem exactly alike in all ways, and one writes a nice, grammatically correct e-mail, and the other guy writes a run on sentence with no punctuation, guess which guy is going to get a response? I don't think this is shallow--this is reality. Link to post Share on other sites
moongoddess Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Confidence is high on the list of desirable traits in men or women. Link to post Share on other sites
maskee28 Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Doesn't add up - something is being left out if a man, a model no less, isn't able to get ANY interest from women at all, either through internet dating sites or elsewhere. Perhaps having an extremely negative attitude towards life in general is a big turn-off? Link to post Share on other sites
superd Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 clia, its shallow, just face, it much like most of today's world, thats why he called himself lifesucks, I guess thats why I try to call myself superd because sometime, well occasionally, I can rise above the suckiness. Link to post Share on other sites
moongoddess Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 I had a guy friend, or rather a guy friend who wanted to be a boyfriend, who constantly complained about how women don't like "nice guys" and that he was a "nice guy". This person is no longer a friend because he wasn't willing to be just a friend, and would play mind games with me with subtle putdowns. And he was very negative towards women and bitter at perceived rejections. This friend was nice in some respects, but not nice, and even disturbing in other ways. Generally, I like to think that truly nice people don't go around saying they're nice. In the same way, a trustworthy individual isn't apt to say something like "trust me". Nice is as nice does. There's no need to say it. Link to post Share on other sites
GreatName Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 For the most part women are on line because of what they need. They need to talk and have a support system. I read a study on online romances. Most end within two years it said. Your name alone suggests a person who will whine if the going gets rough. No one owes you anything. Successful people attract others if they are successful because of their character. Money is only one part of success. As an example of the power of a name, I would never even consider someone named "MoonGoddess". Something deeply wrong here that implies weirdo. Link to post Share on other sites
moongoddess Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 These usernames aren't meant to be serious, are you aware? What's with the putdown about the name Moongoddess being a weirdo name? I casually came up with moongoddess being that my name Cynthia means goddess of the hunt or the moon in Greek mythology. How did you ever come up such a great name as "Greatname"? I would never go out with someone so lacking in creativity as to have a name like Greatname. Cynthia goddess of the moon and doesn't think your name is all that great Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 Cynthia - don't bother with this guy. 'Moon' him if you must He appears to fear anything which might have a faint whiff of 'new age' such as words like 'moon' or 'goddess'. Your name will attract men with imagination and it will repel boring fellows, now won't it? It seems to be succeeding Link to post Share on other sites
niko1999 Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 I like your name moongoddess, but I think he was refering to the original posters name. Is it true taht stastically, online relations end in two years? Do you mean people who stay together online,or people who met online and get together? Link to post Share on other sites
hot_babe 269 Posted August 1, 2003 Share Posted August 1, 2003 it's not loves not there it's what a lot of people on here is saying you r not looking in the right place ad going on line looking is nothing wrong my uncle and mom did it and r happy know so you need to try a little harder so just look and don't be quick to judge her either oh and wait to tell her your virgin Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted August 1, 2003 Share Posted August 1, 2003 Niko - don't bother with statistics. How many relationships begun by 'standard' dating end in two years - in fact how many last that long? There is nothing wrong with starting an relationship over the Internet and many reasons why it can be a better way to go. Just be careful - but you need to do that in 3D as well. People seem to think that they can figure out whether a person might be a problem if they meet them in person but you cannot tell any better in person than onlline. Statistics can be, and often are, abused. People who don't know that get fooled by 'statistics' all the time, sadly. Link to post Share on other sites
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