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I lied and cheated...he moved on, now i'm hurtin


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GB,

You are taking alot of harsh statements here, from me included. Whenever someone who has cheated starts getting the harsh opinions from others, it is always interesting to see how they react.

 

Most of the time the cheater shows that they are not remorseful or shows their sense of entitlement by firing back at them. You are not doing that.

 

I think you have learned a lesson here, however, it should be a lesson applied to someone else you may find yourself with in the future, not this guy. He does need to heal, you do need to allow him to do that and move on.

 

You took the harsh statements and took them to heart and didn't get mad. Why? Because you know they were true statements. Kudos to you in that regard.

 

I think you know what needs to be done.

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No sex, not even kissing.

 

Interesting, why do you state that you cheated, if you did not have any intimate contact with, ' the other ' guy?

 

P.S. - This is an OLD thread!

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If you do hear from him on your birthday, consider yourself the luckiest girl in the world.

 

My ex called me to wish me a happy bday the morning after my bday. We chatted for a bit and that was that. After he called me, I immediately thought of what you said haha. I suppose I am lucky. I called him on his bday because I felt a bit obligated to but I didn't contact him after that. I think he also called me out of obligation as well haha. Well it's good that now both our bday's are over so we won't have obligation to call each other anymore. I didn't cry after he called, which is a good thing I suppose. I thought about him time to time yesterday and a bit today but it was pretty minor stuff, not painful. They were more like memories rather than emotions so I guess that's good.

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You did recover pretty quickly. What's the secret?

 

I was in some pretty deep pain for a good month or so. When I called him on his bday 3 wks ago, I did cry pretty badly afterward. But to be honest, the best way to get over someone is to find someone else....but by this, I don't mean just find anyone. It has to be someone you see long term potential with, and not just a rebound (as rebounds can make you miss your ex more). Even though things with my new guy didn't quite work out (as seen in my dating section) my feelings for him were still real and I did see him as long term potential until my moving situation screwed it all up. I found him on eharmony, but I actually rejected alot of guys before him and I only met up with him because I thought he was something special. He also felt the same way obviously and even more so since he said he's never felt such strong butterflies/chemistry with anyone before until me. He said this is the first time for him even though he's had 3 previous gfs. I guess this new situation overshadowed the ex hahah.

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Oh, it also helped that I really did come to accept that me and my ex are not meant for each other. I have no bitter feelings for him at all since I do believe he made the right/best decision for both of us when he broke up with me. Once you accept things and realize that things often happen for a reason, it makes it much easier to move on. 'Things happen for a reason' is my motto in life....

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Chrome Barracuda
Oh, it also helped that I really did come to accept that me and my ex are not meant for each other. I have no bitter feelings for him at all since I do believe he made the right/best decision for both of us when he broke up with me. Once you accept things and realize that things often happen for a reason, it makes it much easier to move on. 'Things happen for a reason' is my motto in life....

 

It wasnt that you and your ex are not meant to be together. Just accept that your actions made the situation what it is. It wasnt fate, every action in life has a consequence. Not every woman who cheats end's up with their man or perspective partner.

 

But alas moving on when the other one has is good. I wish you the best and hopefully you gain more wisdom of how your actions affect others in life you know.

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