PandorasBox Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I just wanted to share with you all, about my friend and what she went through. Over the past few days I have been catching up with a long time friend of mine that I had lost touch with over the years. She moved away years ago, in her own words, "in search to find herself." Her homelife as a child wasn't that bad but as she got older her relationship with men wasn't the greatest. She left after getting out of a very toxic relationship. She told me of how she worked as a waitress some and did some modeling on the side. How in the modeling business she met up with another girl who introduced her to the porn industry. She talked of how drugs were involved and mostly are in the porn industry. She talked of working with some of the big named celebs in that industry and how they confided in how things are not always what they seem. She talked of long hours of sexual activity with men and women and how it was all glamed up and not like people think. How some were beaten by their b/f's and how their b/fs wanted them to do porn and thought it was ok to make big bucks having sex with whoever. How they felt degraded, but, while they were smiling for the camera and acting sexy while dying inside. She told me of how alot of those women in the porn industry do not like what it is they do. They tell people they do, make people believe its the best thing in the world, and they make really good money, while alot of times that money gets tossed away quickly from drugs or b/'fs and husbands who steal it. She also told me of how many of them including herself turn to porn due to low self esteem thinking it will make them feel better, when infact it ends up making them feel worse. How many of them want out of the porn industry and some just don't know how to get out for whatever reason. She talked about a cover she did for one video where they were dressed up really fancy and pretty. Goodlooking faces and bodies but felt ugly on the inside. She told me how she was caught up in that life for a few years and how she finally broke free when a friend of hers in the porn industry got killed due to domestic violence. She said she finally found herself. And what she had here wasn't as bad as she thought after getting mixed up in what she was in. She said it was awful, and that while the viewers of porn are getting their rocks off, just try to think of what it must be like for alot of those people off camera and whats really going on. And that the viewers of porn who pay to watch those videos are also helping to support an abusive and crime filled industry. I hate she went through what she did but I'm glad I have my friend back.
rockdragon20 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 That is some story... what is your friend doing now?
tanbark813 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Wait a minute... You mean doing lots of drugs and getting involved in the porn industry isn't a good idea? I, for one, am shocked and appalled.
Author PandorasBox Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 That is some story... what is your friend doing now? Well she just moved back here about a week ago. And she has been staying at her folks house for now until she can get her own place. She had some money saved up, so thats good. She is looking for some work. She has some waitressing experience, so she can probably find something along those lines for now. She has mentioned maybe going back to college and taking a few courses in some things. She also has had some counseling sessions set up, to help her deal with alot of issues she has had, plus what all went on in her life while she was away.
Author PandorasBox Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 Wait a minute... You mean doing lots of drugs and getting involved in the porn industry isn't a good idea? I, for one, am shocked and appalled. I'm not sure I understand the comment. She got into the drugs after she got into the porn industry. Although there are many who are might be on drugs first.
EnigmasMuse Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Wow! I'm glad your friend is trying to move forward with her life and better it. I have heard before that its not all its cracked up to be too. I think so many people get caught up in the fact that its fantasy and its all glamourous and exciting but underneath all that, its a very rough and ugly industry. There is a woman that was in that industry and a hooker as well, who is no longer in that business and she shares her story of her struggles with that lifestyle too and she talks of how bad it was. I think her name is annie lobert.
quankanne Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I believe tracy lord also did a tell-all biography about how horrific it was as a porn star, that the image in no way reflected the reality of that kind of lifestyle. tell your friend that we're proud of her for getting out of such a toxic industry. And though it may take baby steps, she can succeed with whatever plans she's got made
Author PandorasBox Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 I believe tracy lord also did a tell-all biography about how horrific it was as a porn star, that the image in no way reflected the reality of that kind of lifestyle. tell your friend that we're proud of her for getting out of such a toxic industry. And though it may take baby steps, she can succeed with whatever plans she's got made Thanks how thoughtful of you to say. She told me she has nightmares from time to time about certain things that went on in that industry. So it will for sure take some time to recover from things. She is a strong person with a good heart. She just got mixed up in the wrong thing. I'm glad too, she has a good strong support system with family/friends as well. So many people do not have that.
Jake Barnes Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 People like to pretend porn is harmless fun, but its actually pretty vicious.
Ally Boo Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 When you are involved in that industry, it does make you feel dead inside. It's as if you rape yourself. It's a pretty screwed up feeling. I would hope not all people in the industry feel that way. It becomes almost impossible to force yourself into that situation for too long- if you truly feel that way.
mental_traveller Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 I also wish girls like her would stop going into porn. Then we could have it so only women who actually *enjoyed* performing would be in the industry. No coercion, no one "dying inside", no fakery, no one trying to work out their psychological issues in front of a camera...and much better quality videos. Don't do things for a living that make you feel like crap.
Sks Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 So, she willingly became a porn star then spent her time complaining about being one? Its like slitting your wrist and asking yourself why you are bleeding.
Author PandorasBox Posted July 2, 2008 Author Posted July 2, 2008 I also wish girls like her would stop going into porn. Then we could have it so only women who actually *enjoyed* performing would be in the industry. No coercion, no one "dying inside", no fakery, no one trying to work out their psychological issues in front of a camera...and much better quality videos. Don't do things for a living that make you feel like crap. I'm not saying all women in porn don't enjoy what they do. I'm just saying she was telling me alot of the women in that industry that she had met over the years had told her they didn't enjoy it. It was a job, the pay was good but ended up later on discovering its not worth all the money in the world to feel that way.
Author PandorasBox Posted July 2, 2008 Author Posted July 2, 2008 So, she willingly became a porn star then spent her time complaining about being one? Its like slitting your wrist and asking yourself why you are bleeding. Have you ever read a book on someones life? Or watched a movie based on a true story of someones life? And how they tell and share of how they got into this or that, that wasn't good for them? You better call those people up who shared a story and tell them they are complaining. My friend was the same way, except it wasn't a movie or a book. She wasn't complaining, she was sharing with me and her other friends about the wrong path she had chosen at that time in her life.
porter218 Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 I also wish girls like her would stop going into porn. Then we could have it so only women who actually *enjoyed* performing would be in the industry. No coercion, no one "dying inside", no fakery, no one trying to work out their psychological issues in front of a camera...and much better quality videos. Don't do things for a living that make you feel like crap. I couldn't agree more. My ex bf owns one of the larger porn companies in Cali, and he is very careful about who he hires because he said he can tell when someone loves this industry and really want to do it and when someone has other not so good reasons. It was sad seeing those people come through his office because even though he wouldn't use them, you know that there will be someone who doesn't care and hires them anyway. I saw one girl he interviewed that broke my heart. She was so cute, but she was 4 months pregnant and her boyfriend had brought her from Vegas to Cali to get her into porn. She looked so unhappy, and tired like he had been pimping her out already. Her bf had been the one to set this meeting up, and it was obvious that it was his idea not hers. My bf told him to take her back to her Vegas and he black listed this guy.
JackJack Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 I'm sure alot of times, women will get into the porn industry that DO like sex that DO want to be in videos, that DO, enjoy what they do. However, it doesn't mean it will always stay that way for some of them. Many start out truly loving what they do, and then some find out the down side and learn its not all glamourous.
quankanne Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 So, she willingly became a porn star then spent her time complaining about being one? Its like slitting your wrist and asking yourself why you are bleeding. oh, please. You've never made a decision based on faulty perceptions or information, and came to regret your choice? What makes someone beholden to stick with such a decision?
porter218 Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 I'm sure a lot of times, women will get into the porn industry that DO like sex that DO want to be in videos, that DO, enjoy what they do. However, it doesn't mean it will always stay that way for some of them. Many start out truly loving what they do, and then some find out the down side and learn its not all glamorous. Yes, that is the main problem. These directors and owners should be paying more attention to the reason driving them to do these films. In that industry, unless they are under contract(which most of them are not), they have to be "rehired" for each individual movie. That is why it is their moral responsibility to make sure these women still want to be there each time they hire them for a role. Unfortunately a lot of these companies don't care as long as the girl performs well.
The Collector Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 People who don't enjoy their jobs should leave them. The same goes for abusive partners.
Jilly Bean Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 I've never known any woman who was a sex worker who totally enjoyed her work. Including strippers. There is a lot of psychological harm one endures, physical danger, drugs, etc. It's never a pretty scene.
Trialbyfire Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 Well she just moved back here about a week ago. And she has been staying at her folks house for now until she can get her own place. She had some money saved up, so thats good. She is looking for some work. She has some waitressing experience, so she can probably find something along those lines for now. She has mentioned maybe going back to college and taking a few courses in some things. She also has had some counseling sessions set up, to help her deal with alot of issues she has had, plus what all went on in her life while she was away. You know she's not completely free yet, don't you? If waitressing or whatever occupation she ends up with gets too difficult to support herself, she could easily fall back on something that pays much, much better. Basically fighting an uphill battle. I hope she continues with therapy for a long time. Kudos and good luck to your friend!
Sks Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 So, she willingly became a porn star then spent her time complaining about being one? Its like slitting your wrist and asking yourself why you are bleeding. oh, please. You've never made a decision based on faulty perceptions or information, and came to regret your choice? What makes someone beholden to stick with such a decision? Nope, never had an interest in becoming a porn star.
Author PandorasBox Posted July 2, 2008 Author Posted July 2, 2008 You know she's not completely free yet, don't you? If waitressing or whatever occupation she ends up with gets too difficult to support herself, she could easily fall back on something that pays much, much better. Basically fighting an uphill battle. I hope she continues with therapy for a long time. Kudos and good luck to your friend! Yes, I know shes not free yet. That's why just a few days after moving back here and getting settled, she called and made counseling sessions for herself. She knew she would need help, and that it will take a good while. The waitress job is probably until she can find something she wants to do more. She is thinking of returning to college, so we shall see.
tanbark813 Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 The next time you have her over you should have one of her porn videos on in the background.
Author PandorasBox Posted July 2, 2008 Author Posted July 2, 2008 The next time you have her over you should have one of her porn videos on in the background. I'm really surprised you don't own a porn company yourself. Bet you could make lots of money off of some T&A.
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