How to start from scratch in 12 mo separation ?

[PWSX3]

5 Months into the legal separation (9 months since the bomb) and we have just grown more apart... living our separate lives, with little discussion, little assistance needed.

 

I was hoping things would be different.

 

either I'd be more adapted to living alone...or... she would see life isn't as green on the other side as she thought...

 

nope - nada -

 

Just further apart in our separate independent lives.

SingleDad, I am sorry I know you have really tried but like I am slowly starting to learn sooner or later you just have to give it up, it won't happen & once you do that I feel things will be better for you.

[SingleDad]

In many ways I have given up. It could easily have been over and moved on if we didn't have a 3 yo together.

 

Yet Everyday I am reminded that this is not something I want. I either have my daughter and want a family or don't have my daughter and try to "get a life" as a single person.

 

The fact that my W calls me (a lot less than she used to) but still a couple of times each week. Last week Tuesday, she had a dashboard light come on - thanked me for my advice as she needed a new alternator. Then twice Friday - then today.

[pelicanpreacher]

You know SD, she mentioned that "I don't think we're made for each other" which to me is a red flag that she is her mother's child and has adopted her mother's ways! Although she may not portray the life of a partier she still incorporates the sneaky and selfish mindset of her mother. The fact that she asked during counseling whether it would be okay to date others while separated but, yet jumped down your throat for coming to her home unannounced and snapped on you for besmirching her character by revealing her affair, tells me that not only is she a chip off the old block but a new and improved version as well. SD, she is fruit of the poisonous tree and you must wrap your mind around this concept for, as we speak, she is continually and subtly influencing your daughter with her deficient and nefarious ways which will only keep this cycle of trauma rolling on indefinately. She was raised by her mother and now has positioned your daughter (albiet part time) to be raised concentratedly under the same set of values ingrained into her as a child (no matter what she shows you to the contrary) so keep your eyes open to all the possibilities!

 

I think you may have bigger problems than the dissolution of your marriage for your wife has probably got a past that she's not too keen to disclose and its deeply rooted implications have ruptured your marriage. Mark my words, for your daughter is next in line for her dysfunction and the transfer of your wife's behavior and ideology will manifest itself sooner or later! Disciplinarian my @ss! I think she doth protest too loudly!

 

I'd suggest that you pay to do a thorough background check to find out just who you truly married and find out whether or not, had you known about any past youthful indiscretions, would you have asked for her hand and walked down the aisle with her!

[SingleDad]

PP - it's scary how much you remember and can understand my W's history.

 

My daughter has also learned to be very manipulative to get her own way... It's hard to discipline her and teach her not to be selfish when I have her less than half of the time and want that to have an enjoyable time together - not her having temper tantrums everytime I have her.

 

It's a no win situation... It'll pass from generation to generation.

[pelicanpreacher]

You are so close to removing those rose colored glasses that I'm literally jumping for joy! Your stbx may have super glued them to your skull but with today's modern surgical techniques we'll have you spotting dimes on the road from 50 feet away again in no time flat!

[TrustInYourself]

I don't think your daughter is doomed. She has a father who still loves her and has some influence over how she turns out.

[pelicanpreacher]

Have the temper tantrums your daughter throws also come with any other abrupt changes in behavior? I think this divorce action may be stressing her out more than you realize for I think that she's too young right now to pick up on the subtle cues of manipulation and deceptiveness that I was referring to. Are you certain that your stbxw isn't "entertaining company" at her home in the presence of your daughter?

[Billy Bob]

In many ways I have given up. It could easily have been over and moved on if we didn't have a 3 yo together.

 

Yet Everyday I am reminded that this is not something I want. I either have my daughter and want a family or don't have my daughter and try to "get a life" as a single person.

 

The fact that my W calls me (a lot less than she used to) but still a couple of times each week. Last week Tuesday, she had a dashboard light come on - thanked me for my advice as she needed a new alternator. Then twice Friday - then today.

 

Life will start getting better and better.. when you hit the bottom there is no where to go but up. SD, sorry if I sounded so bitter and negative way back when, but I've been through it and seen it happen here over and over. It's hard to face the reality in the beginning.

 

But, you will have the opportunity now to meet someone with the character and morals that you need to make a relationship work. I am about 2-2.5 years past my divorce, after dating a lot, finally settled down with the girl of my dreams, remarried in Aug. She is a wonderful step-mother to my kids and I have never been happier. Sure it's a little inconvenient sharing a schedule with your ex-wife, but I actually appreciate the time off from my kids.

[pelicanpreacher]

I'd also suggest that you start viewing her as a debt collecter and start letting more of her calls go to voicemail so that you can better filter what conversations you'll take from the ones you don't. Remember, unless the call is about your daughter, she most likely has a boyfriend upon which she can rely on for idle chit chat!

 

As for the Halloween situation, I'd say that you are still trying the same manipulation you attempted when your stbx called to discuss your daughter's problem with sleeping in her own bed. You should have responded to her request to join in the festivities by saying "Sure, why not, we'll all have a blast"!

 

Throughout the evening you would, however, have been forbidden from speaking about your relationship concerns but instead, just kept the conversation friendly with a light heart and confident step. I think you shot yourself in the foot and blew it again!

 

Everytime you attempt to manipulate her like this you confirm in her mind that you haven't changed, will never change and, thus, reinforced her perspective of why she doesn't want to be with you. With my recent assessment of her problems, I'm not sure that she is even worth manipulating back into a relationship anyways but, its your life and happiness so continue to follow your heart!

[badbrit]

I'd also suggest that you start viewing her as a debt collecter and start letting more of her calls go to voicemail so that you can better filter what conversations you'll take from the ones you don't. Remember, unless the call is about your daughter, she most likely has a boyfriend upon which she can rely on for idle chit chat!

 

As for the Halloween situation, I'd say that you are still trying the same manipulation you attempted when your stbx called to discuss your daughter's problem with sleeping in her own bed. You should have responded to her request to join in the festivities by saying "Sure, why not, we'll all have a blast"!

 

Throughout the evening you would, however, have been forbidden from speaking about your relationship concerns but instead, just kept the conversation friendly with a light heart and confident step. I think you shot yourself in the foot and blew it again!

 

Everytime you attempt to manipulate her like this you confirm in her mind that you haven't changed, will never change and, thus, reinforced her perspective of why she doesn't want to be with you. With my recent assessment of her problems, I'm not sure that she is even worth manipulating back into a relationship anyways but, its your life and happiness so continue to follow your heart!

 

BINGO AND YAHTZEE!!!!

 

I have told you this a million times, you keep shooting yourself in the foot and showing you have not changed and are not worthy of love and show you are still there waiting. Did you really say, "you know, everytime you call me you are stabbing me in the heart with a knife."

 

I mean, REALLY???? Damn man, how unattractive, available, weak and pathetic was that. Sure it was honest but what did it achieve except a HUGE confirmation of negativeness towards you.

 

I am borderline agreeing with this chap that is saying that she is probably not worth getting back, however I do not think she has actually done much wrong.

 

SD is annoying, weak, pathetic, stubborn, blinkered, unwilling to learn and change and keeps making her feel guilty, being manipulative, controlling, unaccepting and many other things.

 

She is living her life, getting on with it and trying to make them friends which trust me, really is in the benefit of the child but impossible when one is hanging on and hurt like SD is. She is just living her life and communicating with the man, I fail to see what she has done wrong, all that happened is she fell out of love and lost faith in this man and lets be honest, he continues to confirm things that I think would make someone fall out of love with a person.

 

Listening to his posts I just sit here and shake my head and can totally understand the stbxw wanting something different or at least understand why she is not interested in things changing between them.

 

SD, you are too stubborn and cannot see one thing straight - do you think we are ALL wrong here? Do you think you know better than us? You think we have read it all incorrect? Yeah? Well why does everything continue to carry on in your life as predicted by all of us "wrong" people?

[n9688m]

all that happened is she fell out of love and lost faith in this man

 

Well actually she also did an immense disservice to her young daughter by leaving the marriage with only a marginal attempt to work on it via MC. Based on SD's past posts, it is quite likely she had at least an EA if not a PA before falling out of love so in fact she broke her solemn commitments to both her child and her husband. So I don't think she's quite as blameless as you suggest.

[TrustInYourself]

BB, I respect your thoughts, but come on, lol. Compassion is not one of your strengths is it?

 

His wife cheated on him for being the man she married.

[Shin0bi1]

Hey SD... just caught up on your thread.

 

The with drawls regarding your child... are terrible ... but it does get easy later on.... I for one...when ever I gave up my son to go back to his mother's place... I, always felt is was the last time I would ever see him again...ever! It was horrible. I now see him ever week... 2 days... pretty regular.... and he calls me quite often... Not so long ago...over the phone.... he read to me some of the book he was reading.... before he went to bed. ....that made my night...

 

Of course you would wish for something better... that you ... I ...well all of us... had met someone and had a child with them.... and we all lived happily ever after..... but it did not happen. It takes a while to get ones head around that.... it is what it is... you can do nothing about it... and the sooner we figure that out... the better we are of. We can then concentrate on what we can do... and that is be the best parent we can be... when we have are kid/s with us...

 

Trust me... this took me over 2 years to figure out.... and it is only TRULY entrenched for about a month or so now... before... I knew it... but I don't think I was 100% convinced... I am now.

 

I was told over and over again... you will get there... one day.... (over and over and over....etc)

 

IT DOES GET EASIER.... its is just a matter of time...

 

ilmw

 

ILMW,

Man, everytime I drop off my son... I know that feeling very well. I often choke up and play my son's favorite songs (Foo fighters hehe) on the lonely trip back home. Sometimes my son cheers me up and tells me he loves me and that he can't wait to see me again soon. I feel cheesy for saying this stuff but really that lil guy I have melts my heart all the time.

 

SingleDad,

 

as you know you gotta take this one day at a time. and when you are not with your daughter, keep yourself busy. find hobbies and social clubs that you are interested in. For me, it was working out in the gym, hanging out with friends, going to the shooting range, watching movies, and working on my car and playing computer games. It's rough for us dads but our children know that we love them and one day they will let you know how much you mean in their lives. In my case, my son is going to figure out soon that my STBXW made some rather poor decisions and he may see her in a different light. I personally hope that is not the case but we will see...

 

 

Hang in there!

 

-Shin0bi1

[badbrit]

Well actually she also did an immense disservice to her young daughter by leaving the marriage with only a marginal attempt to work on it via MC. Based on SD's past posts, it is quite likely she had at least an EA if not a PA before falling out of love so in fact she broke her solemn commitments to both her child and her husband. So I don't think she's quite as blameless as you suggest.

 

I disagree, I forget the wording but remember the sentiment. He was not making effort at one stage and realised his mistake too late and tried when it was already over. Maybe the stage he talks about when he thinks they could or should have worked on it was too late for her.

 

Marginal attempt? You do not know her side of the story and neither do I. She may have spent long days and nights trying to cox more effort out of him before this all kicked off and by that stage, her feelings were dead.

 

Marginal attempt is a disservice? You do not know her nor her emotions, how do you know how she was feeling. Look, for arguments sake lets say that she totally and 100% fell out of love here, really did not even like him near her, felt her skin crawl at the thought of sex etc, what do you suggest she should do? When it is dead, it is dead and I have learnt that the hard way.

 

I talk from experience and it is hard but you know, I accepted it and moved on. Let me relate -

My ex made marginal attempts, I did everything and anything to repair it. I gave her the world, tried my best and we too have a child, a disabled special needs three year old boy. We never fought but her spark was gone. I have beat myself up over it, I have blamed her, I have gone mad, I have cried but you know what, she didnt choose to feel that way, it just happened. I am sure if she had a choice she would still be in love and we would be a happy family but she had no choice as she had no feelings.

 

How did we live - I own a good business which earns good money, very good. I gave her the option of doing whatever she wanted after baby was born and she chose not to work. I paid for it all, she was lazy, untidy etc (even before baby was born, that is her way and I accepted it) I worked, shopped, cooked, treated her, took her out, showed massive love, was devoted, bought her a car, went to councilling (she made no effort), holidays, showed respect, put up with **** blah blah but she was not happy which made me stressed and unhappy and there was a negative vibe in the home which caused me to think I was trying hard but it actually made me act in a more unattractive way.

 

She dumped me and I moved out, I bought a house and furnished it very nicely while she moved out to a smaller, tatty rented accomodation. She started seeing a married man and various other men. I had fun for a while, slept around, got new friends and hobbies and constantly tried to repair the relationship and family like SD but she just wouldnt blink or notice or care what I was doing.

 

We went from friends to enemies and back again a few times, mainly through my crazy mind, was so obsessed and depressed at times. She didnt care, I could have died and she wouldnt have shed a tear and I never understood it as we were once a family and in love. She did nothing all day, life was boring, pottered around, was depressed herself, sometimes up and sometimes down but still she never wanted it to change but would never tell me how she felt, I just know her and could tell. We then spent time together as a family (I broke my arm and needed help when i had the boy) but it meant nothing except she let guard down and told me how rubbish and boring life was.

 

What is life like today? - I have two elder kids that stayed with me and her two/three nights a week when we were together. Well now I met someone really special a couple months ago, a real beautiful girl, a little younger but so different - works hard, ambitious, family orientated, talks to me, supports me, loves me, is caring, sexy etc and she moved in a few weeks ago. My other kids stay, mine and the exes boy stays, we are a family, have a good life, have fun, do normal things, live like I tried to with the ex, go out for nights out, party hard, relax nicely etc and I love her loads and the best thing? I am "me" again, at last I am "me". I am totally myself and the man I was before all the bad stuff happened first with ex two years ago (18 months before we split). I am the man I once was, funnily enough I know I am the man she once fell in love with 100% but she does not notice (because she does not want to) and it is too late for me anyway

 

How is life for ex? Random men, doing nothing all day except sitting at home, going to her mums or brothers to hang out for a cup of tea, one night a week out v drunk, pick up a man and take him home. Is that life better than me and her being a family and leading a good life with our boy? No BUT it is better for her emotionally. Does she look happy? No. Is she leading a good or bad life? Bad. Her home is filthy, she is still lazy with no money or sense and do you think she wants that life? Of course not. Would it have been better for her if we had been able to remain together as a family happily? Of course.

 

So what is the point?

1. Been there, seen it, done it, lived it. So not talking out of no knowledge

2. I do not blame the ex like you all do and put her down and apportion blame like many her are. SD ex had her reasons, just as mine did. I have realised in my situation that she is living this life through choice. She had a choice, life as complete family and work on us or this life. She chose this life and so as bad as it is, if she is choosing it that must mean she was actually very emotionally empty and unhappy with me and even if life is not great for her, at least she does not have that emotional unhappiness anymore so emotionally she must be happier now. I am glad for her and now can understand. When the love has gone to the degree it had (and I reckon with SD too) then it is better for all that the relationship ends. It gives SD the chance to be happy eventually (as I am) and meet someone else if that is what he wants (it makes him free to have that availaiblity) and it gives the ex the emotional freedom to be mentally more happy. How she lives and what she should or should not have done in your eyes is mere dressing. What is inside her is what matters to her and is important and to choose this, she must have been very unhappy. Let us help SD to understand that from her point of view. It does not make her a bad person at all. In closing, I can see that currently my ex has a poorer life without me HOWEVER she would disagree because she is mentally happier and that is what matters to me and i trust her enough to know that one day she will have a great life.

 

It happens, it is not a choice, it just happens.

[TrustInYourself]

I disagree, I forget the wording but remember the sentiment. He was not making effort at one stage and realised his mistake too late and tried when it was already over. Maybe the stage he talks about when he thinks they could or should have worked on it was too late for her.

 

Marginal attempt? You do not know her side of the story and neither do I. She may have spent long days and nights trying to cox more effort out of him before this all kicked off and by that stage, her feelings were dead.

 

Marginal attempt is a disservice? You do not know her nor her emotions, how do you know how she was feeling. Look, for arguments sake lets say that she totally and 100% fell out of love here, really did not even like him near her, felt her skin crawl at the thought of sex etc, what do you suggest she should do? When it is dead, it is dead and I have learnt that the hard way.

 

I talk from experience and it is hard but you know, I accepted it and moved on. Let me relate -

My ex made marginal attempts, I did everything and anything to repair it. I gave her the world, tried my best and we too have a child, a disabled special needs three year old boy. We never fought but her spark was gone. I have beat myself up over it, I have blamed her, I have gone mad, I have cried but you know what, she didnt choose to feel that way, it just happened. I am sure if she had a choice she would still be in love and we would be a happy family but she had no choice as she had no feelings.

 

How did we live - I own a good business which earns good money, very good. I gave her the option of doing whatever she wanted after baby was born and she chose not to work. I paid for it all, she was lazy, untidy etc (even before baby was born, that is her way and I accepted it) I worked, shopped, cooked, treated her, took her out, showed massive love, was devoted, bought her a car, went to councilling (she made no effort), holidays, showed respect, put up with **** blah blah but she was not happy which made me stressed and unhappy and there was a negative vibe in the home which caused me to think I was trying hard but it actually made me act in a more unattractive way.

 

She dumped me and I moved out, I bought a house and furnished it very nicely while she moved out to a smaller, tatty rented accomodation. She started seeing a married man and various other men. I had fun for a while, slept around, got new friends and hobbies and constantly tried to repair the relationship and family like SD but she just wouldnt blink or notice or care what I was doing.

 

We went from friends to enemies and back again a few times, mainly through my crazy mind, was so obsessed and depressed at times. She didnt care, I could have died and she wouldnt have shed a tear and I never understood it as we were once a family and in love. She did nothing all day, life was boring, pottered around, was depressed herself, sometimes up and sometimes down but still she never wanted it to change but would never tell me how she felt, I just know her and could tell. We then spent time together as a family (I broke my arm and needed help when i had the boy) but it meant nothing except she let guard down and told me how rubbish and boring life was.

 

What is life like today? - I have two elder kids that stayed with me and her two/three nights a week when we were together. Well now I met someone really special a couple months ago, a real beautiful girl, a little younger but so different - works hard, ambitious, family orientated, talks to me, supports me, loves me, is caring, sexy etc and she moved in a few weeks ago. My other kids stay, mine and the exes boy stays, we are a family, have a good life, have fun, do normal things, live like I tried to with the ex, go out for nights out, party hard, relax nicely etc and I love her loads and the best thing? I am "me" again, at last I am "me". I am totally myself and the man I was before all the bad stuff happened first with ex two years ago (18 months before we split). I am the man I once was, funnily enough I know I am the man she once fell in love with 100% but she does not notice (because she does not want to) and it is too late for me anyway

 

How is life for ex? Random men, doing nothing all day except sitting at home, going to her mums or brothers to hang out for a cup of tea, one night a week out v drunk, pick up a man and take him home. Is that life better than me and her being a family and leading a good life with our boy? No BUT it is better for her emotionally. Does she look happy? No. Is she leading a good or bad life? Bad. Her home is filthy, she is still lazy with no money or sense and do you think she wants that life? Of course not. Would it have been better for her if we had been able to remain together as a family happily? Of course.

 

So what is the point?

1. Been there, seen it, done it, lived it. So not talking out of no knowledge

2. I do not blame the ex like you all do and put her down and apportion blame like many her are. SD ex had her reasons, just as mine did. I have realised in my situation that she is living this life through choice. She had a choice, life as complete family and work on us or this life. She chose this life and so as bad as it is, if she is choosing it that must mean she was actually very emotionally empty and unhappy with me and even if life is not great for her, at least she does not have that emotional unhappiness anymore so emotionally she must be happier now. I am glad for her and now can understand. When the love has gone to the degree it had (and I reckon with SD too) then it is better for all that the relationship ends. It gives SD the chance to be happy eventually (as I am) and meet someone else if that is what he wants (it makes him free to have that availaiblity) and it gives the ex the emotional freedom to be mentally more happy. How she lives and what she should or should not have done in your eyes is mere dressing. What is inside her is what matters to her and is important and to choose this, she must have been very unhappy. Let us help SD to understand that from her point of view. It does not make her a bad person at all. In closing, I can see that currently my ex has a poorer life without me HOWEVER she would disagree because she is mentally happier and that is what matters to me and i trust her enough to know that one day she will have a great life.

 

It happens, it is not a choice, it just happens.

 

Life is choices. She made her choice. You made yours. Thanks for sharing how you took control of your life and started making choices for your own happiness rather than hers.

[n9688m]

Marginal attempt is a disservice? You do not know her nor her emotions, how do you know how she was feeling. Look, for arguments sake lets say that she totally and 100% fell out of love here, really did not even like him near her, felt her skin crawl at the thought of sex etc, what do you suggest she should do? When it is dead, it is dead and I have learnt that the hard way.

 

That's an excellent post.

 

The key problem I have with it though is that it seems so often these women who simply "fall out of love" have a new partner before they ask to go to marriage counseling and before they ask to separate. Therefore there is no way for us (or even them) to know if they truly fell out of love or are revising history to justify the affair.

 

Someone who truly just falls out of love at least owes it to her partner to work in marriage counseling and/or request a separation before starting a new relationship. Then and only then is the innocent "I just fell out of love" story justified.

 

And even then - I'm not so sure that in a marriage with young children and a spouse who is caring, non-abusive, hardworking, responsible, etc. it is reasonable to abandon a nuclear family out of basically a selfish search for passion. Marriage is not only a commitment to a spouse but also a commitment to children. It's one thing to abandon that commitment due to outright abuse but I think it's selfish, cowardly, and yes immoral to abandon that commitment simply out of a search for "love" i.e. physical passion.

[TrustInYourself]

That's an excellent post.

 

The key problem I have with it though is that it seems so often these women who simply "fall out of love" have a new partner before they ask to go to marriage counseling and before they ask to separate. Therefore there is no way for us (or even them) to know if they truly fell out of love or are revising history to justify the affair.

 

Someone who truly just falls out of love at least owes it to her partner to work in marriage counseling and/or request a separation before starting a new relationship. Then and only then is the innocent "I just fell out of love" story justified.

 

And even then - I'm not so sure that in a marriage with young children and a spouse who is caring, non-abusive, hardworking, responsible, etc. it is reasonable to abandon a nuclear family out of basically a selfish search for passion. Marriage is not only a commitment to a spouse but also a commitment to children. It's one thing to abandon that commitment due to outright abuse but I think it's selfish, cowardly, and yes immoral to abandon that commitment simply out of a search for "love" i.e. physical passion.

 

n9, you really ask questions that dig to the heart of human nature. This line of questioning is not going to get you anywhere. There are no good answers, because you are asking why people are imperfect, emotional beings who on occasion, make irrational decisions. Knowing why is just going to lead to more questions and more anger and resentment.

 

Why should it matter why? She's gone and most likely, you are going to be better off in the long run. Your children as well. That's the unfortunate facts of the matter, or fortunate facts, however you want to look at it.

[n9688m]

Why should it matter why? She's gone and most likely, you are going to be better off in the long run. Your children as well. That's the unfortunate facts of the matter, or fortunate facts, however you want to look at it.

 

Will I be better off in the long-run? Probably - but again that is selfish on my part so not a reason for me to rationalize this as being good.

 

Will my children be better off in the long run? Almost for sure no. The Wallerstein book on legacy effects of divorce makes a strong argument that they will not be better off. Common sense says it is disruptive to children for them to bounce back between two different homes compared with a nuclear family. My STBXW herself said clearly in counseling that on a "functional" basis our family and marriage was terrific, so it's not like there were problems for the kids before.

 

I often hear the rationalization that "kids cannot be happy if parents are not happy." Well sure, I agree things are better for the kids after divorce if the marital home had been full of abuse or neglect or fighting. But if that is not the case, then I reject the rationalization often women used by women things will be better for the kids after the divorce. In my case, my STBXW clearly admits the kids had an idyllic family life which was stable in every way - emotionally, physically, acdemically, socially, financially. It appears the missing link is simply that she decided she had "no emotional connection" to me and/or had fallen out of love. I fail to acknowledge leaving a marriage for that reason as anything other than selfish with regard to the children.

[SingleDad]

Seems Like I missed out on quite a bit of opinions and criticism on my thread.

 

Plenty of criticism on what I am doing wrong... Well I am not doing anything anymore. My daughter's mother is living her own life and I never call or ask anymore... I really do not want to have anything to do with her anymore. What's the point ???

 

I agree whole heartedly with n9688m. Everyday, All I think about her is that she is living for her and her alone... she is nothing but living a selfish life - our daughter is the only one who will miss out in the long run.

 

Unfortunately - there are often times where I feel more like an uncle to my daughter as there is so much time that I do not see my daughter.

 

I am considering dating. I am tired of being alone. I shouldn't have to be lonely because my daughter's mother is living a selfish life.

 

I have other things going on in my life and will post here much less frequently - It is often too depressing to post and dwell on the break-up of my marriage.... But I will check in occassionally.

[pelicanpreacher]

You're getting there SD! Take time to pray to accept things that you can't change...pray to change those things that you can...and pray for the wisdom to know the difference between the two!

 

I pray that you let go of all childish things from within and without and fulfill yourself and destiny by stepping through your remaining life as the man you strive to be. I envision real happiness in your future but you'll need to take your eyes off your shoes to see it!

 

Free your emotions from the whine of your inner child and reach not for today's anecdotal crutches then you'll see exactly what I'm talking about.

[SingleDad]

Thanks PP...

 

I didn't expect to check back in so soon...

 

But I got a confirmation that my W is sleeping with another man. She is sick and throwing up and asked me to come to her house and take my daughter to school as she is too sick to function. When I got there, I noticed fresh tire tracks backing out of the garage through a puddle.

 

The worst part is she is sleeping with him while she has my daughter.

 

I told my W that "I can't believe you are sleeping with someone while you have our daughter. That is not right. I hope someday you realize what a huge mistake you are making. You left a husband who loves you, breaking up a family, and sacrificing our daughter in the process."

[icelove]

tell her in your most humble manner with your problem,,and more prayers wil do

[SingleDad]

tell her in your most humble manner with your problem,,and more prayers wil do

 

Huh - I do not know what that means.

 

When I spoke with her I was not angry... just spoke in a matter of factly voice.

[TrustInYourself]

SD, that explains a lot. Keep going with living your own life. I'm glad to hear from you! Take care.

[Owl]

Thanks PP...

 

I didn't expect to check back in so soon...

 

But I got a confirmation that my W is sleeping with another man. She is sick and throwing up and asked me to come to her house and take my daughter to school as she is too sick to function. When I got there, I noticed fresh tire tracks backing out of the garage through a puddle.

 

The worst part is she is sleeping with him while she has my daughter.

 

I told my W that "I can't believe you are sleeping with someone while you have our daughter. That is not right. I hope someday you realize what a huge mistake you are making. You left a husband who loves you, breaking up a family, and sacrificing our daughter in the process."

 

Morning sickness?